Year of Goodbyes

Chapter 4

Arabella

Mom and I have been happily chatting about our lives for the past six years while Sophie is in her Nana's lap. My mom was over the moon when she finally held Sophie in her arms. Mom has never let her go since we arrived. She showered Sophie with kisses and just stared at her, but I could see the worry in her eyes when she glanced at me.

" Bella, are you sure of this? I told you I was going to be just fine. You didn't have to come back home." She told me, worry evident on her face while glancing at Sophie. I looked at my little girl, busy playing with her Nana's scarf.

The truth is I'm scared right now, but sooner or later, I have to face the music and just let God do his magic. I cannot hide Sophie forever. She deserves to know her roots and meet her father.

When she started asking about her father, all I said was that he was away on a very secret mission. My heart shatters every time she asks why she doesn't have a dad and why her classmates have one. She often asks if her dad hates her. That's why he didn't want to see her. I cry myself to sleep every night, hurting for my little girl.

That is why I decided to come back. I want to see if Liam can recognize his flesh and blood. The look on his face when he saw Sophie was priceless. I was hopeful, but then he masked it with disappointment. It crushed my heart.

" Mom, I'm sure, I think it's time," I told her tiredly and looked at my baby with sad eyes. Then we heard a thunderous knock on the door, almost banging.

I got up, and as soon as I opened the door, I was tackled to the floor by an outraged woman. Collette, my best friend, was hugging me so tight I almost choked, I patted her arm to let me go, and we stood up.

" Where have you been?! Why didn't you call? Did I do or say something wrong that you have to go away and hide?!" She fired so many questions that I had whiplash. I am catching my breath from her death grip just now.

Sophie started crying. She thought Collette was attacking me, so I went to her right away and took her in my arms. She stopped crying instantly and buried her face in my neck. Collette had a shocked look on her face.

" You have a daughter, and you didn't tell me?!" She glared at me, looking at my daughter and then back to me.

" Hello to you too, Collette. I'm fine, by the way, thank you for asking," I told her in a very sarcastic tone and rolled my eyes.

" Why don't you both sit down? I'll go get some tea." My mom said, standing up and went to the kitchen.

" Well? Are you going to tell me? What happened, Bell?' She asked in a somber tone now.

" This happened," I replied, pointing to my daughter, Sophie. " Baby, this is auntie Collette, mommy's best friend." I urged Sophie to lift her head and look at Collette. As soon as she did, Collette gasped loudly.

" Hello, auntie Coyet," she said shyly, not able to pronounce Collette's name correctly, and laid her head on my chest. Collette looked at me incredulously, eyes wide, mouth hanging.

I smiled at her weakly, feeling sorry and sad that she had to know this way. I know it is wrong of me to hide what happened that night. I was just so hurt and confused and scared that she might get angry, but judging from her reaction right now, she's more hurt than angry.

" Bella, you have to tell me, or I will go crazy. My mind is running a hundred miles per minute here. Tell me I'm not mistaken. Tell me she's not who I think she is." She begged with tears in her eyes. I started to tear up as well and nodded slowly. She covered her face and sobbed. I feel so sorry that I wasn't able to stop the tears myself.

" Mommy, why are you and auntie Coyet cwaying?" Sophie asked and wiped my tearstained face. I kissed her hand and smiled at her.

" We are just so happy to see each other again, Princess. These are tears of joy, right Collette?" I turned to Collette, who seemed to get a hold of her emotions.

" Yes, yes, baby, I am just so happy to see your mommy again and to meet you. Can you hug auntie Collette too?" She agreed, smiling at Sophie, and opened her arms for her.

Sophie looked at me, asking for confirmation, so I nodded and let her go down and walk to Collette's waiting arms. Collette hugged her tight and started crying again, kissing her all over her face.

" I am so happy to meet you finally, baby. I will spoil you with toys and clothes. You wait and see. Then you will meet your gra, ahm my parents. They will adore you and spoil you too." She told Sophie, and Sophie's face lit up like a Christmas tree upon hearing the word toys.

I glared at Collette, and she glared back at me. Then, my mom came back with our tea, and she took Sophie with her and told her she would show her my baby photos. I looked at my mom and thanked her with my eyes. I have some explaining to do to my best friend, and I don't want Sophie to hear it.

Collette and I were staring at each other when they left the room, waiting for who would talk first. Finally, I cleared my throat and started talking.

" It happened the night of our graduation party at your house six years ago. Remember when Liam got into a fight with his football buddy? The night he discovered that his b***h of a girlfriend cheated on him with his buddy?" I asked her, and she nodded.

"Well, before that, we were by the lake talking. Liam was already a bit drunk, and I was also tipsy. We talked at first, and then, I don't know how it happened, we started kissing. You know I was in love with your brother for years, right?" I asked her again, and she nodded, now curiously eyeing me.

"So when he kissed me, I was over the moon, the scene, the weather was so perfect, and I gave my first kiss to my first love. But then he ended the kiss saying he was sorry and didn't know what came over him and that it was a mistake." I looked down and started tearing up.

"So I followed my instinct. I ran and hid in one of the bathrooms. When I finally came out, it was when Liam fought with his mate. We tried to stop them and took Liam to his room, we tended to his wounds, and then you asked me to stay with him while you pacify the crowd downstairs." I played with my fingers and sighed loudly.

"I stayed even though I knew I shouldn't, but he looked so hurt and so helpless, so I took care of him. But when I was wiping his face with the washcloth, he grabbed me unexpectedly and pinned me to the bed. He was stronger than me even when he was so drunk. He started kissing me and started crying, my defenses broke, and I gave in. I want him to love me and see me, and I thought he finally did. But after we had s*x, he suddenly said, " you can get out now, Jenny, we are over," my world shattered along with my heart that night." Tears escaped my eyes, and I wiped them quickly. Collette is looking at me with sadness and pity.

"He thought I was Jenny. He thought he was making love with his girlfriend, not me. So tell me, Collette, what would you have me do? He didn't know it was me. That's why I stopped going to your house after that. But when I realized my period hadn't come, I bought the kit and checked if what I was thinking was correct." I shook my head and raked my fingers through my hair.

"Then I found out I was pregnant. I got scared, and I didn't know how to tell mom, you, or Liam. I don't want you to think that I did it on purpose, to get Liam and force him to marry me. Honestly, all of it was my fault. I could have prevented it, but I didn't because I loved him too much. I did what I thought was right for everyone. It was hard, but I don't regret everything that's happened." I told her, wiping my tears. She was a crying mess too, then she grabbed me and hugged me tightly.

" I am so sorry, Bell, I am so sorry I was too busy partying that night that I neglected you. It would help if you told me. I could have helped you. But, you know, I wouldn't turn my back on you. I will kill Liam for doing that to you, that i***t! He didn't even recognize his daughter!" She was fuming at Liam. I grabbed her hands and squeezed them.

" I am sorry, Cols, but as you can see, I survived. I've made a career for myself, and I raised Sophie as best as I could." I pleaded with her, and she nodded and hugged me again.

" So, what are you going to do now?" She asked.

" I don't know, I thought he would recognize Sophie, but he didn't, and I don't want to tell him yet. Also, the same goes with you. It would be best if you didn't interfere, Collette. Let him discover the truth himself. Please promise me, Cols, let's wait. I'm putting my trust in God, hoping he will realize and remember what happened that night." I begged Collette. He bit her lip and drew her brows together, clearly not liking the idea, but then she conceded and made a promise.

I smiled at her sadly, and we set that issue aside. Instead, we started talking about our lives these past six years and reminisce. For now, the storm has calmed down. I will let tomorrow worry about itself and go with the flow.