His Responsibility

10

POV NICO

    Kissing her was pure bliss. Something I've never experienced before, I never wanted it to end. Reluctantly I pulled away, seeing the pain and confusion spreading across her face, all I wanted to do was reach out and touch her. Make the pain go away, knowing I caused it, I took a step back. 

"I'm sorry" She whispered as she hopped off the counter grabbing her bag and fleeing out the door. Before I realized what was happening, she was gone. I wanted her to stay, to tell her it wasn't her, but me. That would only make things worse, the time old excuse. One I had given many times to girls who meant nothing, but she didn't mean nothing. She means everything. She is becoming my everything, and she didn't even realize it. She thinks I don't want her. 

    I want her so much it makes my chest feel tight when I look at her, smelling her faint vanilla perfume, makes me want more. Makes me want to taste her. 

    But I can't. Not when I know who her father is. Knowing how dangerous he is. I can't get mixed up in something like this. Sure her father has given 'permission' but I knew better then to trust that. He was testing me. I'm not stupid. I know how he works, he is ruthless. 

    I'm amazed that Cordelia doesn't know exactly who he is, but she has been sheltered from it her whole life, so I guess it makes sense. I just hope I can fix this, make it okay somehow. I don't think I can bare standing in the shadows forever. I want to have a place by her side. In her life. I need to make this right somehow.

I grab my coat and my keys, making my way to the pub she works at. She's not there yet when I get there, so I sit in my car and wait. 

    My phone goes off, the useless security guard I spoke to earlier, giving me an update on who they think broke into her place last night when she was at work. I had tried to keep her from going home all day, knowing it was only a matter of time before she did. Seeing her home destroyed probably sent her over the edge. I had called her father and told him what had happen as soon as I got word. He had immediately set up a condo for her in one of the buildings he owns. I wonder if she was there now?

"What did you find?" I asked

"Not much, no neighbors saw anything, one camera across the street captured two guys walking past the building around 2AM but other then that nothing" 

Two guys? Wonder if they are the same guys that I seen following her home a few days ago. Maybe they went back to scare her when she was walking home this morning too? Although it's vague information, it's still plausible. 

"Alright, keep looking for something else" I hung up before he could say anything else. He had no information for me that was going to help so I didn't want to hear it. 

    After an hour of waiting I see Cordelia walk up to the entrance, she looks around her a few times before entering. As if she's worried she's been followed. Not that I blame her, she was a target and didn't know it, but her senses were right on the money. Her brain knew something as up. 

I wait a few minutes before heading inside, would she be happy to see me? Angry? 

Suddenly I was feeling nervous. My palms were sweaty, knees weak.

    I walked in, going to my usual booth. I see her at the bar, talking to the bar tender. They both look over at me, her face has gone pale. She's saying something to the bar tender, nodding her head in my direction. I see him shaking his head at her, saying something. I hear her smack her hands on the bar, his eye widen  and he shakes his head yes. A few minutes after he starts walking over to me, 

"Um, hey, I'm Jaxon, I'll be serving you. Can I start you off with a drink?" He seems very uncertain as he speaks, his eyes looking around everywhere but at me. 

"Tonic water. Where's Cordelia?" 

"Busy" He mumbles

"Uh-huh. Will she be coming back?" 

"I- ugh I'm not sure." He sighs "What happen with you two?" He blurts out suddenly.

I feel myself go a slight shade of pink at the question. I clear my throat before answering,

"We uh, had a misunderstanding" I mumble.

    He nods and walks back to the bar. He is speaking with Cordelia again, pointing at me. She's shaking her head and stalking off to the kitchen, throwing her hands up in defeat.

Jaxon comes back with my drink

"So, know what do you want?" 

"Cordelia, but I'll settle for the special" 

"Give her some time. She is stubborn" He takes the menu from me and goes towards the kitchen. 

I see her looking at me from the kitchen window, I give her a small smile, she turns away.

My food comes and I pick at it for a while, clearly I wasn't going to get to speak with her today. I pay my bill and get up to leave. 

"What's your problem?" I hear her booming at me from a few feet away

    I turn to see her standing with her hands on her hips, she is clearly pissed off. It would be cute if it wasn't directed at me, well even then it is still cute. I have to fight a smile that tries to escape my lips. 

Before I can say anything she has grabbed my arm and is pulling me past the kitchen, towards the employee only doors, leading to the staff room. I don't fight her and follow obediently. 

"Speak!" She hisses at me

"Um. I don't know what to say" She caught me off guard and I was speechless.

"Why did you kiss me back and then just pull away from me like I was an alien?" She was loosing her confidence by the second, I could feel the hurt flowing off of her again. 

"I wanted you, really I did. But it felt wrong, doing it that way" I looked her dead in the eyes.

"It felt wrong? Well then what the hell are you doing here? What have you been doing for the past few weeks with me? Leading me on, letting me get my hopes up?" She was raging mad. She only heard what she wanted to, not everything I was saying was computing in her mind. 

"You come in here almost every f*****g day, making me think you interested in me, and then I kiss you because God Forbid you make the first move, typical guy, and then you kiss me back and then it just feels wrong?" She continues on, slightly growling with frustration by the end. A small chuckle escapes my lips as I watch her rant at me. That was the biggest mistake I could have made. 

She slaps me, right across the face. I wasn't expecting it and I sure as hell didn't expect it to hurt, but it does. Slightly. 

"Get out!" She screams at me.

    I do as she says, slowly turning to leave. I hear her start to cry as I'm about to open the door to leave, I hesitantly turn back around and see she has slumped down to the floor. I never wanted to be the person who makes her cry. I take a step towards her, reading her reaction, then another, until I'm standing in front of her. I lean down to her level. She silently sobs. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have slapped you" She cries

"Shh, It's okay. I deserved it" I hesitantly reach for her, as soon as my fingers touch her, she leans into my arms. I hold onto her tightly, until she stops crying. 

"I never wanted to hurt you" I whispered.

"Well it's too late for that now. That's all that seems to happen to me. I'm always getting hurt. I give up" One last cry and she pulls back "It's my own fault though, not yours" She adds.