THE ROCKSTAR AND THE GAY (BXB ENGLISH)

Chapter3

My heart skipped a beat the moment I saw him. Bast, one of my gay classmates from freshman year, stood beside the woman. And in front of me was Kennan, still gripping my shirt as if the kiss we just shared hadn't been enough.

“Wayne, I’m really sorry. Kennan must’ve had too much to drink. He didn’t mean to kiss you like that,” Bast said hurriedly, prying Kennan’s hands from me.

"Is this something he often does when he's drunk? Just kiss anyone in his path?" I asked, watching as they supported Kennan, who was clearly too far gone. Strangely, there was no disgust, no repulsion. Nothing that a typical straight guy should feel after what had just happened. If anything, I had the oddest desire to kiss him again.

"Yes," Bast chuckled lightly. "That's what he's like when he's drunk. He kisses anyone he finds attractive."

At those words, a flash of anger surged through me, catching me off guard. What was this feeling? Why did I care?

"But he knew me. He called my name before he kissed me." I don't know why, but I needed Bast, and everyone else within earshot, to understand that this was different. What Kennan and I shared was not just some random, drunken mistake.

Bast shrugged, his smile fading. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but you were our topic earlier. Kennan probably just remembered your name from that. We were talking about how amazing your band’s performance was tonight."

With a sympathetic smile, Bast turned back to Kennan, who was now half-asleep in his arms. "Anyway, we have to get Kennan home. Take care, Wayne."

Before I could say anything more, Bast and his friends dragged Kennan away, disappearing into the sea of dancing students. My eyes followed them, trying to catch one last glimpse of Kennan. There was something about him, something I couldn’t quite shake.

A heavy arm suddenly draped across my shoulders. "Dude, I can't believe you just got kissed by a gay guy!" Lenard’s laughter was booming in my ears, pulling me out of my trance.

"Shut up!" I snapped, shrugging off his arm. I started walking back toward the backstage area, unable to stop replaying the moment in my head. The others followed behind, still joking.

“And you were hugging him back!” Anthony teased, a smirk plastered on his face when I turned to glare at him.

“Yeah, man. That’s gross. You kissed a dude who’s got facial hair just like you,” Lenard added, his tone half-joking but tinged with a hint of real disgust.

He was right. It was gross. At least, it should have been. But no matter how hard I tried to tell myself that, I couldn’t feel disgusted. If it was so gross, why did I want to kiss Kennan again? Why did I feel this overwhelming urge to chase after him, to grab him and pull him in for another kiss?

"Dude, why aren't you saying anything? Don’t tell us you enjoyed kissing that guy?" Shin chimed in, his voice filled with suspicion, pushing me closer to my breaking point. He looked at me with an exaggerated expression of shock. "Man, are you one of them now?"

That was the last straw.

I whipped around to face him, my fists clenched. “Do you think he’s disgusting because of who he is?” My voice was sharp, slicing through the laughter around us. They all froze, sensing the shift in my mood. I couldn’t explain why, but hearing Shin talk about Kennan that way... it pissed me off.

"Woah, calm down. I didn’t mean it like that," Shin stammered, taken aback by the intensity in my voice.

"Then shut your damn mouth!" I snapped. My anger flared like a wildfire. "And to answer your stupid question, yes. I did enjoy kissing him. So what now? Are you gonna treat me like I’m disgusting too? Just because I enjoyed kissing a guy?"

A heavy silence fell over us. They didn’t know how to respond. The teasing smiles vanished, replaced by wide-eyed stares as my words hung in the air. The tension was palpable, thick enough to choke on. Some of them averted their eyes, others awkwardly scratched the back of their heads.

Timmy, usually the quiet one in the group, was the first to break the silence. “Wayne, relax. Shin didn’t mean it like that. He was just joking around. He used the wrong words.”

Lenard, trying to lighten the mood, threw an arm around me again. “C’mon, man. Let’s head back out. We’ll party, get a few more drinks, and forget all this drama.”

I wanted to stay mad, to hold onto that anger that had surged up inside me. But looking at their awkward, apologetic faces, I couldn’t. I sighed, the tension seeping out of my body.

Shin held up his hand in apology. “Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean to offend you. Let’s just move on, yeah?”

I accepted his hand, shaking it firmly. “Yeah, let’s go.”

With that, we headed out to rejoin the crowd. The music was thumping, bodies swaying on the dance floor as we grabbed drinks and mingled with the other students. But even as I sipped my beer and laughed along with my friends, my mind kept drifting back to Kennan.

His face, his lips, the way he looked at me right before our kiss. Everything about him was etched into my brain. I couldn’t shake the image of him, and couldn’t stop wondering where he was right now or what he was thinking.

For the rest of the night, I floated through the party in a daze. I smiled and talked and danced, but it was all mechanical like I was going through the motions without actually being present. My mind was elsewhere, stuck on a kiss that should have been nothing but felt like everything.

…

I lay sprawled on my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, my mind spinning with thoughts I couldn’t shake. My heart was still racing, my chest tight as last night played repeatedly in my head. The kiss. Kennan’s touch. I swear I could still feel his lips on mine, like the sensation had burned into my skin, refusing to fade. The more I tried to push it out of my mind, the more it clung to me. Something unsettled was gnawing at me deep inside, a feeling I couldn’t quite name.

I thought getting drunk would make me forget the kiss we shared, and drown it in the haze of alcohol. But I was wrong. So wrong. If anything, it made everything sharper, and clearer. Maybe it was because it was the first time I’d kissed a guy. Maybe that’s why it was stuck in my head. But even as I tried to convince myself, I couldn’t deny the truth that kept nagging at me. Kennan was… a damn good kisser. Even drunk, his lips had tasted so sweet. Sweeter than any girl I’d ever kissed. Their softness, the way our mouths moved together. It had been intoxicating in a way that scared the hell out of me.

I groaned, rolling onto my side, and cursing myself for where my mind was going. These thoughts were dangerous, taking me to places I wasn’t ready to explore. I grabbed the pillow and shoved it over my face, but it didn’t help. All I could think about was Kennan, the feel of him, the taste of him, and the way that kiss stirred something in me, I wasn’t expecting.

“Damn it,” I muttered, pushing myself off the bed. I had to do something, anything before I spiraled even further. Stumbling into the bathroom, I twisted the shower faucet, letting the cold water gush out. Maybe a freezing shower would snap me out of this. Maybe it would wash away the drunken fog and everything that happened last night.

I stepped under the icy spray, gasping as the water hit me, sending a shock through my system. My breath came in sharp, uneven bursts. It was exactly what I needed, a jolt back to reality. But even as the cold numbed my body, my mind wouldn’t let go. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about Kennan.

That kiss.

Kennan.

Why the hell couldn’t I forget it? Why couldn’t I forget him?

I leaned against the tiled wall, my eyes squeezing shut as the water ran over my face. I wanted to believe it was just a mistake. That Kennan was drunk and it meant nothing. But it didn’t feel like nothing.

And that’s what scared me the most.