Her Wicked Desire

6: Another day in the world of bullies

AVALON

Why do I always find myself in situations like this? I just wanted to pee and get back to my friends, not eavesdrop on a bunch of assholes. I hate school, and if I had to be really honest, I hate people.

"Did you hear Avalon won't be coming to school after her birthday?" I recognized the irritating tone to be none other than Savannah. A spoilt, and I cannot put enough emphasis on the spoilt part, snooky rich teen that has never made the cheerleading squad ever but is classified as one of the meanest girls in school.

"Yeah, I wonder if it's because she's gonna be in charge of her father's business." The second female is Masha, we have biology together. I would never call these two my friends. They're my bestie's Friends- specifically Stephanie's goons- and I unfortunately have to associate with them on some occasions.

Not this time, nope. I'm hiding in one of the bathroom stalls, waiting for them to finish gossiping and leave. They didn't even pee, or do anything, they just walked in and started talking. I wasn't aware that the girls bathroom is a comfort zone for chatterboxes, I would have avoided it.

"Of course that's why. What else is she going to do? Become a lawyer?" She snickered with a pig like snort, and it is not cute. I'm sorry to the pigs. "We know the only reason she's one of the smartest students in school is because her dad's blackmailing the principal. She's just some dumb, and let's not forget fat, b***h with a monster for a parent. And what do monsters give birth too? Definitely not angels." Their laughter fell deaf to my ears.

Fat. My ears stopped working after hearing that slur. It's not supposed to be a slur, but over the years, I've taken it to be as such. The tone that comes with it..... it's not something you can feel good about. Being called fat like it's some disease.

I looked down at myself, checking my body to see what else is left to call that horrendous word. Yes, I was the chubby kid everyone loved to bully back in middle school. But I worked that weight out, not completely because my body isn't capable of losing that much weight. Instead, I was left with a roll in my stomach, hips that are wide and thighs that make it difficult for me to where just anything from the waist down. And let's not forget my breast, people claim they want my boob size but let me tell you, the back pain is not funny. And you can't go braless or wear just any shirt.

I worked hard to look presentable, it drew in the boys in my school but that never stopped them from calling me fat behind my back. Sometimes to my face when they were feeling ‘adventurous’ and unafraid of what might happen to them. I've done alot of reading, watched self love videos and even meditated to tell myself that I am beautiful and being a little overweight doesn't make me ugly or any of the slurs I've gotten.

And yet, sometimes the word just sneaks up on me and reminds me of my time in middle school. It's hard to motivate yourself when you're constantly hearing bad words about your looks.

"She is fat. God, I wonder who would ever date an elephant like her." Masha cackled.

"Mhm, I'm presuming it'll be someone as fat and unattractive as her. I mean, only ugly will date ugly."

When I felt tears stinging my eyes, I knew I hard to stop them before my emotions really burst out.

The bathroom door clinks as it opened, and I strutted towards the girls, who were applying lipstick to their dry lips. They're the kind guys fancy. Slim, but not too thin. With a tiny hour glass curve, and not my coke bottle type. They had a little bit of fat to their butts that made it just right for people and they clearly don't weigh as much.

The school uniform fit these type of girls nicely, and it always pissed me off. Because I was made to get a larger size. It's not like I'm the only fat girl in school, but I'm the only one they target. It's got worse after dad's arrest, and when I began highschool, it seemed like I was cursed. The same students from my middle school, followed me here.

The girls caught my eyes through the mirror, their gasp was sharp.

"That's really funny coming from you savannah. I seem to recall you doing an indecent deed with a certain boy in school to get ahead in your grades. I mean, you did come out last in the whole class but hey, congrats in still having a sextape out there at the age of eighteen. How'd your dad react when he saw it?"

Savannah went stiff immediately, her elbows tucked themselves to her sides. Masha's lips remained in a tight seal, afraid that if she said something, I might attack her next. She isn't wrong to think that.

"W-what do you mean?" Savannah asked, shifting her body to face mine.

"Oh, my bad. I phrased that wrongly. What I meant was, how will your father react when I send him that video? Or better yet, when I upload it to all his work buddies. You know my dad's a monster like you said, so he obviously has a way of getting rid of people who disappointed him. Or maybe petty, worthless bitches who can't seem to go through one day without fat shaming a girl that can kill them. I'm sure I can find something in his book of tricks to silence your sweet mouth." I said each word with an ice cold tone, taking single steps towards my frightened classmates.

"I- uh, Avalon, let's not be mean now. We were just joking." Savannah tried to plead. I stopped only one step away from them.

"Get out, call me when your dad has seen the video."

"But-"

"I said get out! WHAT ARE YOU DEAF?"

They ran off, and I closed the entrance to the bathroom. Firming the lock to its place. I pressed my back against it for a second, then I pushed off and paced around. The tears I had held back rolled freely, increasing the ache in my chest. I'm not actually going to send the video to Savannah's father, I'm not that petty. I wouldn't do that to someone, I understand what led to that video. And she's Steph's friend. I'll be leaving the school permanently soon so there's no need to create more problems.

It hurts, the words. Whoever said ‘sticks and stones can break my bones but words can hurt me’ needs to switch places with me because words can cut throw a person's soul like a knife.

I washed my hands, and dried them, but I remained in the bathroom. Wiping my tears off with the sleeves of my shirt.

A knock came through, and I ignored it. Until the person behind spoke.

"Princess, is everything okay?" The worried tone belongs to Rasta, my Personal babysitter-bodyguard.

Fucking hell, leave me alone. Jesus! A girl can't go anywhere without bodyguards following her like goddamn pests. They cover me in class, seriously they don't leave me for more than a couple of minutes. Imagine a high school student walking around with three grim, big, violent looking men following her around. I can't f*****g breathe in this type of conditions, especially not now. I'm f*****g panicking. Why can't I just loose some f*****g weight and be more like Steph? Or Jacqui? One, a beautiful red haired, and the other, a dark skin beauty from France. They're perfect, I wonder what that feels like.

Everyone loves them, I'm the Grinch in the circle that no one likes- Soloed out by the whole school to be hated- Or like that book by Kody keplinger, I'm a D.U.F.F

A designated ugly fat friend. Ouch, that acronym stings if I have to be honest.

I don't feel like that all the time, but in moments like this, when they've managed to crack through my strongly built wall, I feel uglier than anything else in the world. I've never gotten what's so wrong about being overweight. Not everyone is of the same size, that shouldn't be a reason for them to be treated differently right?

Fuck!

"Princess as you okay? Do I need to call Mr Hendrix?"

I puff a breath, infuriated by his persistence. My feet stomps over to the door and I unlock it. "Give me my phone."

Rasta stared at my eyes, tears still clouded them. I can't imagine how pathetic I must look. He didn't say anything, he handed me my phone and I shut the door back.

My pacing continued, I thought about calling Ace to rant. But the first step of my plan is to be more mature. Ace isn't going to fall for someone who acts childish by letting a bunch of no scoping bitches get to her. He goes for the confident women who own their looks, and I have tried to be that. I am that, but....

"Gah!" I yelped, nearly dropping my phone when it started buzzing. The picture on the screen displayed the man I was just thinking about. What da-

I picked up after a moment of shock. "Hey." My tone was weak, f**k me, he's gonna know something's wrong.

"Rasta called me. And I'm glad he did, you sound terrible. You've been crying again, haven't you?" He asked, as right as ever. I spared a tiny glance at my reflection. I don't think I look bad, but I still hate mirrors sometimes.

They either showed the real you or a worse version.

"I'm not a kid anymore ace, I haven't been crying." I lied terribly.

"You are a kid if you can't be honest." I winced quite loudly. "Tell me what's wrong princess? Who do I have to threaten?"

Be honest, he says. I don't think I can do that. I like to bury my insecurities and pretend they don't exist. It's the only way I get by, or else I'd break from the ugliness of the truth.

"Ace, do you think I'm ugly?"

"Are you joking?"

"No." I answered flatly.

"You have to be. Avalon, is it the girls in your class again or some idiotic boy?" I kept quiet. What could I have said anyways. "I really hate when you do this. But I won't push. You're old enough to know that I'm the person you can talk too, about anything. Remember what I said to you the last time this happened. I mean the last time it REALLY happened."

I pinched my elbow, biting back a smile and another wave of tears. "Yes, I do remember."

"Say it out to me."

I blew a short breath. "You are beautiful. You don't need someone else to tell you that. The only way people an hurt you is if you let them."

"And?"

"And more importantly, if I think it beautiful then you don't need validation from anyone." My heart gave a hard punch to my ribs. I recalled the day he said that to me, it was what led me to decide I needed a change. I kept his words in my heart and built this shell of a confident woman. The one I show to people today, is all thanks to Ace. He won't believe me when I say it, but I love him. More than words can ever describe.

"Good girl." A hot blush crimsoned my cheeks. "Now, do me a favor and get out of the bathroom. You have classes, and a bunch of lower class people to show off too."

By the time the call ended, I was smiling so much Rasta thought my face would stay like that forever.

****School had been fun after my talk with Ace, everything else didn't seem to bother me. Not the looks from my classmates, or the unheard slurs from my teachers and other peers. Nope, nothing got to me. It was like I was floating on a cloud of happiness.

I tracked Ace down to the library once I'd taken a bath and eaten dinner. He sat on the couch connected to a large window, shirtless like he almost always is. His lower half is covered by black gym shorts that stopped at his knees. My body temperature switched from calm to raging hot in a second of just seeing Ace.

Have I mentioned how handsome he is? I don't think I have. Ace is a work of art, and this morning, he was like a god of s*x wrapped into a three piece suit. The man has won sexiest man of the year, six years in a row. That.... interpret that however you will. His body, his personality- god complex included- is f*****g perfect.

For those who don't know what a god complex is, well let me try to explain it. It's a person who believes they are god, or like god, or higher than god. They believe nothing can touch them, that no one is next to their level, some believe you shouldn't even breathe in their presence without permission from them. Like my dad for example.

Ace hides his well, he doesn't show it unless he has too.

He's a complicated bundle of sexiness that you would purchase on the first glance, and then return him because he rejected you.

I grabbed one of the books lying on a stool, and made my way to where he sat. I know all of his favorites, and right now, he's reading a murder mystery called- Sara is dead. I got him that for his birthday last year, he's a sucker for murders and intense plot gripping mysteries. I sound obsessed by knowing everything about him but trust me, I am.

"Evening princess, whatcha got there?" His gravelly tone sets my heart on fire. He should consider narrating audiobooks.

I plop down on the other end of the couch, placing my sock covered feet in between his. My back nestles comfortably on two soft pillows.

"Princess for dinner." I showed him the front of the book, excited to get started. I've been dying to read this, but my plotting to marry Ace needed all my time and energy.

"Mm, alright."

I was about to read, and enjoy the peaceful silence that comes with Ace. And the way my heart can't f*****g relax for like five seconds, it feels like I'm having a heart attack. Or a goddamn stroke.

My eyes caught sight of a black rose with green stems, resting on Ace's right pec.

"Ace!"

He didn't move, his fingers only turned the page over. "Yes?"

"Tell me a story."

"You know the story." I love this connection we have. Some things don't need to be explained, we just know it. Or maybe he can feel my eyes burning into his chest.

I sighed, sending him my cutest pout and puppy eyes. Even though he wasn't looking at me, I knew he could tell what I was doing.

Ace has tattoos, a lot of tattoos, and all of them mean something. Every single one of them have a story. Ace doesn't get tatts for fun or because they look cool, he gets them to mark a certain part of his life when something happened. Something that left an imprint on his psyche and he refuses to forget it.

There are certain tattoos he won't talk about, like the words written around his left, right biceps, his taut stomach. The tatt on his back and others. He goes really silent when I ask about them, so I don't anymore. Ace is a mystery, a deep compelling one, that I will be the first to uncover.

"Tell you what," He says out of the blue, my pout lessens in anticipation of his next words. “If you can finish that book before I'm done with mine. I'm tell you, once again, about the rose."

Oh, that's a deal I can agree too. I'm a fast reader compared to Ace, he likes to take his sweet time.

“You are on!"