PHOENIX

3| HIS LOVE WAS UNREQUITED

When you're in a relationship with someone you love, you learn to accept their flaws. Jackson knew he wasn't the ideal guy to be in a relationship with, and he had always been aware of that. Yet, despite his imperfections, he had given his heart to Melissa. He couldn't help but ask himself what went wrong.

She had always been so carefree around him, and they would talk and do so many things together. Those activities, once sources of joy, had become painful reminders. Now, he couldn't even bear to look at or do them because they always brought her to mind, leaving him a mess each time.

He had so much planned out. He knew he was going to marry her one day and have kids. He was sure of it. He had envisioned a future where they were a family, building a life together. If he had been financially stable from the start, he believed they would have married, and it would have been during their marriage that he discovered she was playing him from the get-go.

On the other hand, there was a grim sense of gratitude. He had uncovered the truth about Melissa before it was too late. But he couldn’t help but wonder: what if all this had happened when they already had a child or two? What would have happened to their kids?

The thought chilled him to the bone. He imagined the trauma and confusion their children would have faced, caught in the crossfire of deceit and betrayal. He could see a little girl with Melissa's hazel eyes and his dark hair, or a boy with a mischievous grin, trying to make sense of their fractured world. The idea of innocent lives being shattered because of Melissa's duplicity was too much to bear.

In his mind, he revisited those moments they had shared. Their laughter, their dreams, the quiet whispers of love in the dead of night. Each memory was a double-edged sword, a reminder of what was lost and a testament to the illusion he had lived. He had been so sure of their future together. So sure that they would grow old side by side, watching their children grow.

But that future had been a mirage. The woman he had loved, the woman he had trusted more than anyone, had been playing a role. The carefree demeanor, the shared dreams—it had all been a facade. And he had been too blind to see through it. His love for her had been real, but hers had been nothing more than a cruel deception.

He often found himself questioning every detail of their time together. Were there signs he had missed? Moments when her true intentions had peeked through the mask? He scrutinized every memory, searching for clues that might explain her betrayal. But no matter how hard he looked, he couldn’t find any. She had been a master of deceit, hiding her true self behind a veil of charm and affection.

In other words, this was a blessing in disguise. Maybe she never even wanted to have kids with you, pretense or not. You're just imagining things; she never wanted you. His subconscious whispered cruelly.

No matter how much he wanted to argue against that inner voice, he knew it could be the truth. If Melissa had ever loved him, then having kids would have been something she desired too. But if she never did, then children were never part of the equation. It was a sad truth, but it needed to be acknowledged.

All his life, he knew he was different from other kids. He was aware that he was never going to be like them, and maybe living a normal life was something he could never have. He used to think that growing up in foster homes was what had messed up his life, but in retrospect, those times seemed almost idyllic. Despite the lack of a true family, he had a home to go to every day, and he was surrounded by people. They might not have been the ideal family, but they were still a family.

Jackson remembered the various foster homes, each with its own set of rules and quirks. Some were cold and indifferent, while others were outright hostile. But there were also moments of warmth and camaraderie among the other foster kids. They were all survivors, navigating the complexities of life without the safety net of a loving family. It was in those moments that Jackson learned the value of resilience and adaptability.

Especially the ones that took him in during the senior year, they were nicer the all the previous ones combined. They understood he needed a home and they also needed the money he was coming with but they weren't willing to use it for unnecessary things.

He supposed he should thank them because even though the money that was left was not going to last him even a month in college but it was there and he knew if he was still staying with the previous foster family he wouldn't even have a single penny. For that he was grateful.

Now, as he stood in the dimly lit hotel room, he realized that those years in foster care had prepared him for the life he was leading. The constant moving, the need to blend in, and the necessity of keeping his guard up were all skills he had honed as a child. Back then, he had hated the instability, but now, it was his greatest asset.

He still remembered the day his landlord told him he couldn't keep him around any longer. He had been patient for two months, hoping Jackson would pay the rent, but his patience had finally run out. With no other choice, Jackson had to go out and look for a job.

He wandered every street corner in town, desperate to find something he could do. He felt the weight of his situation pressing down on him, each rejection adding to the growing sense of hopelessness. Finally, after days of relentless searching, he landed a job as a waiter in a small diner. The money wasn't great, but it was enough to cover his rent. As for food, he had to come up with another plan.

Determined to make ends meet, he took on another job at a bar near the college. It was there that he met a few friends, and with them, he discovered a new world of clubs and parties, a lifestyle he had never imagined himself embracing. The allure of this new life was irresistible. The music, the lights, the freedom—it all made him feel like he belonged. For the first time in his life, he felt accepted.

However, everything went south after that. The excitement of his new lifestyle quickly turned into a destructive habit. He started bunking work at the diner, staying out late and sleeping through his shifts. The owner, a kind but stern woman named Mrs. Garrett, had given him several warnings. She had believed in him, even when he didn’t believe in himself, but her patience wore thin. Eventually, she was forced to fire him.

With the diner job gone, he was left relying solely on his bar job. But the same pattern repeated itself. Late nights turned into missed shifts, and his manager, a no-nonsense ex-military man named Hugh, couldn't tolerate the unreliability. Jackson remembered the day Hugh called him into the back office. The look of disappointment on Hugh's face had stung more than any reprimand.

"Kid, you're a good worker when you show up," Hugh had said. "But I can't keep covering for you. You're out." And with that, Jackson was jobless once again.

He had hit rock bottom. No job, no money, and now, no place to stay. His landlord chased him out of the apartment and he was forced to the streets. He found himself sleeping on park benches, eating from soup kitchens, and wondering how his life had spiraled out of control. Each day was a struggle for survival, and the nights were long and filled with regret.

When Jackson turned to people he considered friends, they all turned their backs on him. Betrayed and alone, he wandered the streets in search of solace. That was when he met Robin, a whirlwind of charisma and confidence who became his lifeline. Robin was there for him when no one else could be, ensuring that Jackson not only had a roof over his head but also food to sustain him.

Robin's presence was a revelation. He brought Jackson into a new world, one filled with genuine care and camaraderie. This world was unlike anything Jackson had experienced before—here, people cared because they wanted to, not because they sought something in return. They were a tight-knit community, bound by shared experiences and mutual support.

Jackson's life took a significant turn for the better. He no longer had to worry about where his next meal would come from or whether he would have a place to sleep. The people Robin introduced him to were kind and welcoming. They embraced Jackson as one of their own, offering him a sense of security and belonging that he had never known.

These new friends taught Jackson valuable lessons about life. They showed him that true friendships were based on trust and mutual respect, not convenience or ulterior motives. With them, Jackson found a sense of peace and acceptance. He learned to let go of the bitterness that had clouded his heart and to open himself up to new possibilities.

Robin, in particular, was a pillar of strength and wisdom. He was always there to offer advice, to listen, and to push Jackson to be the best version of himself. Robin taught him the importance of resilience and the power of forgiveness. He helped Jackson see that even though he had been hurt by the people he had thought were his friends, he could still find happiness and purpose.

Jackson often wished he could find a way to repay Robin and the others for all their kindness. Their unwavering support had saved him, and he felt a deep sense of gratitude towards them. He vowed that one day, he would make it up to them. He would find a way to show them just how much their friendship meant to him.

Even when Jackson began to drift away, Robin and his friends remained steadfast. They ensured he stayed on track with everything, helping him secure a job and supporting him until he graduated from college. Robin, always the loyal friend, accompanied Jackson to every interview, offering moral support and encouragement. Eventually, Jackson landed a job as an engineer. It wasn’t at a prestigious company, and the pay wasn’t what he had hoped for, but it was a start, and for that, he was grateful.

Jackson knew that without Robin and his friends, he would have ended up on the streets, jobless and hopeless. Their unwavering support had kept him grounded and focused, providing him with a lifeline when he needed it most.

When Jackson met Melissa, he saw a future filled with possibilities. He envisioned a decent job that paid well enough to support a family, and he dreamed of proposing to her. He felt like a fool now, looking back. His love for Melissa had blinded him to the truth—his love was unrequited. She had never loved him as he had loved her, and maybe if he could stop asking himself what went wrong, he would come to understand that.

Despite everything, Jackson couldn't deny that he still loved Melissa. Even after the betrayal, the fire, and the subsequent years of running and hiding, a part of him clung to the love he once felt. It was a painful truth, but it was his truth. The decisions he made after the fire had led him down a dark path, one where he found solace in the suffering of others. It became his way of coping, his new normal.

Jackson had become void, a shadow of the person he once was. The pleasure he took in seeing others suffer was a stark contrast to the hopeful, loving man he used to be. He desperately needed someone to pull him out of the darkness, to show him that there was still light in the world. Yet, he convinced himself he didn’t need any of that. He told himself that he was beyond saving, that he was too far gone to be redeemed.