Pregnant with Ex-husband's baby

Chapter 6

Kavin

Text me once you reach home

I wonder from where in the hell those words came from. I mean, why would I even want her to text me?

I think I just wanted to make sure she reaches home safe but then, why will she not? After all, she is going home with her parents and siblings. She’s the safest she could be.

We are at the dining table after Nithila’s family went home. The dinner is so annoyingly filled with talks about Nithila, how pretty she is, how well-behaved and cultured she is and how she is the perfect match for me.

Yes, I agree that Nithila is very, very pretty with her mid-night black eyes, tiny nose and those ripe baby pink lips that could drive any man crazy. She also seems like a nice girl and I am sure guys are dying to marry her. Anyone would consider himself a lucky man to have her as his wife but she’s just not the one for.  

“We will have to decide a date for the engagement and wedding..” My dad says and I feel his hope-filled eyes linger on me for a second longer before bending down to eat.

I know they are waiting for my response but I prefer to be silent in this regard because I know that my disapproval would mean nothing to them. They would make me do it anyway by the powerful weapon in their hands, that is emotional blackmailing and I would for sure fall for it, like every other dutiful son.

Since I returned home after the date, I couldn’t keep my mind at peace. This marriage would be wrong on so many levels.

“What do you say, Kavin?” my mom adds.

“Does it even matter?” I mumble and focus on my plate.

“What do you mean?” She asks with a deep frown.

I glance up and grit out, “No matter what I have to say, you are going to change your mind, isn’t it? Then why ask?”

I watch my mom’s eyes turn glossy and she reaches out to hold my hand which I didn’t know had tightened into a fist.

“Look, my dear, do you trust us at all?” She questions and when I don’t answer her, she urges me to talk.

“Yes, I do..” I sigh out loud. “But..”

However, she cuts me halfway, “Then you should know that throughout our life we have tried to give the best to our children and we have never once compromised on anything or made a wrong decision for any one of you. You may not understand it now, but Nithila will be the best thing that ever happens to you in your life, Kavin, I promise you that as your mother..”

There it comes, the emotional blackmailing that I was talking about and let me tell you, my mom is an expert in wielding that weapon against her children.

Why am I even trying to reason with them when they have made their decision?

“Then what are you waiting for? Just come up with a date and get me married to whoever the hell you want but let me tell you all that by doing this, you are only ruining my life along with that girl’s..”

“Kavin..” My brother tries to stop me but I am already done with this s**t.

I get up with so much force that the chair I was sitting on topples to the floor with a loud thud but I don’t give a damn and storm out towards my room.

The moment my back touches the bed, I feel the vibration of my phone in my pocket. Fishing out my phone, I see it’s a text message from Nithila and it doesn’t surprise me at all.

I wouldn’t say I was expecting her message but I knew it would flash up any minute now and when it did, I felt a muscle jolt in my chest. It is probably from all the arguments I had about her with my parents.

Nithila: Hi! Nithila here. We reached home safely.

I quickly begin to tap on the screen to reply to her. I would have done the same to anyone in her place. I don’t delay replying to people’s texts and I hate people who do otherwise.

Kavin: Good.

When I think I don’t have anything else to ask or say to her, my fingers begin to work on their own.

Kavin: Have you had dinner?

And before I could stop myself, I press the send button and her reply comes within seconds.

Nithila: Not yet. What about you?

Kavin: Yeah, just had.  

Nithila: Hmm..

Her last reply gives me a feeling that she didn’t want the conversation to end there but what more do I have to talk to her?

See, this is what I am talking about. I spent a whole evening with her and yet the awkwardness is still afresh. From everything I got to know about her today, there is nothing in common between us. Heck, she doesn’t even like my profession, she made it crystal clear.

When I imagined about getting married, I wished for a woman who knows my game, someone who would cheer for me, discuss it when we are lying on our bed in the night, tell me how amazing I was in the field but I doubt that would ever happen if I marry Nithila.

I can see that we are polar opposites in almost everything and I don’t believe in the whole ‘opposites attract’ s**t. If anything, we would only end up having arguments and disagreements over every small thing our entire life.

Another text message from her hauls me out of my thoughts.

Nithila: Goodnight :)

A pang of something stabs me right through my heart. It must be the guilt for not trying to talk to her like I should. I am mad but definitely not on her. She is not to be blamed for anything. All she is doing is to obey her parents like the perfect daughter that she has been throughout her life.

Maybe I just have to attempt to know her more and that way I might like her. No doubt I already like her but I need to try to take it further. There is a chance that I might start to love her or lead a loveless married life with her, either way. I will learn to live with her, probably like every other couple in an arranged marriage.

***

The very next weekend our families come up with dates for the engagement and wedding. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that the wedding is really happening.

And today being the only weekend left before the engagement, our parents want to go dress shopping for both of us. I am supposed to pick Nithila from her house while our parents would reach the showroom in their own cars. I don’t understand why I have to pick her up when she can very well come along with her parents.

Anyway, I take it to my advantage. If I need to know her I need to spend more time with her.

When I reach Nithila’s house, I meet with everyone except for her. My eyes desperately roam around in search of her, not because I am dying to meet her but I am dying to get out of here with her so that I can escape from her dad’s never-ending questions, her brother’s lame jokes and that could be possible only if Nithila decides to come out of her room.

“Nithila is getting ready, she will be here in a minute..” Her mother smiles at me and goes away into a room that I know is Nithila’s.

Less than a minute later, the door to that particular room opens. When I glance up, Nithila walks out of it and suddenly I am unable to stop myself from growing breathless.

Is it nervousness? It should be but it's strange.

She is dressed up in a pair of jeans and a long top that reaches her mid-thighs. Her hair is parted sideways and let loose to dangle against her waist. There’s a slight trace of gloss on her pillowy, dusky pink lips which is the only makeup that I can see on her face.

She’s different today, a pretty, gorgeous and beautiful different.

Perhaps she looks good in almost everything she wears.

I don’t know why, it’s a stupid thought. In fact, it shouldn’t even enter my mind but it did and I am even more agitated for that reason.

“Hi..” I manage to stand up and give her a small twitch of my lips.  

“Hi..” She gazes at me for a fraction of a second before she looks down at the tiled floor.

“Shall we go?” I ask so we could get going as soon as possible.

“Sure..” She nods and tells her parents that we would meet them in the boutique before walking out with me.

Once I start driving my car, I c**k my head to her side, “How did your week go?”

We hadn't talked or texted after the last time.

She squirms on her seat a little bit and then faces me, “I had my exams and two back-to-back night shifts, so it was kind of a hectic week for me. I thought I could spend the whole weekend lazing on my bed but..”

She stops abruptly as if she’s said something that she shouldn’t have said and that makes a smile appear on my lips, “but what?” I raise a teasing brow, still keeping my eyes fixed on the road.

From the corner of my eyes, I notice that she is studying me for a moment and then lowers her head with a soft shake, “Uhmm, nothing..”

 “You don’t seem to be interested in this wedding shopping..” I say as if I read her mind.  

I turn to her right on time to watch her look up at me with her eyes widened, “It’s not like that. Of course, I am all in for it, it’s my wedding, after all, I mean our wedding. It’s just I love my sleep more. I missed it for the last couple of nights..”

Her argumentative whines make me chuckle and she ducks her face down.

“You look tired Nithila, you could have very well told my mom to move this to some other day..”

“I wouldn’t want to give my future mother-in-law a bad impression on me by doing that..” Her gaze shifts to her hands that are loosely linked together on her lap. While she did that, I take my time to assess her and observe a prominent beauty mark right near the neckline of her top. It's huge but only a half of it is visible because the rest of it is hidden by her clothing.

“Moreover, we have only a week left before the engagement..” She adds and I force my eyes away from her to avoid looking like a weirdo.

“In no way, you will be able to make a bad impression on my mom. She already likes you too much for that..” I tell her without glancing her way because if I do I am sure my traitorous eyes would go back to that black patch of skin below her shoulder blades.

“She does?” Her eyes jerk up in what seems like a delightful surprise.

“Yes..” I give her a curt nod and see a small smile creep up on her lips, “All she does is talk about you..”

I don’t know anymore if I like it or not. That is my mom, talking about Nithila like she is the best girl for me in the whole universe but I tell her anyway because I don’t want Nithila to feel nervous or uncomfortable around my family members. If we are going to be married, we have to be empathetic towards each other and that is what I am doing right now.

We come to a stop in front of the huge showroom which is world-renowned for selling pure silk sarees, something that every Tamil bride wears on her engagement and wedding day. When we walk in, we find my parents seated in there already checking out the sarees that the salesperson is showing them.

“There they come..” My mom almost jumps to her feet on seeing us and makes her way towards Nithila to hug her. “How are you, dear?”

“I’m good aunty, thank you..” She flashes a polite smile to my mom and at everyone before taking a seat between my mom and Aathira. I watch her laugh with them like she’s known them for a long time. Soon her parents also join us and the showroom becomes so loud all of a sudden.

Nithila already looks like she is getting along with everyone from the way she is talking to them. I don’t think she is making an effort at all since she is already very natural at it.

“She’s friendly..” I hear my brother’s remark, “Why are you so against the idea of marrying her, da?”

“It’s not her..” I mutter because obviously, I can’t say I don’t like her. That would be a complete lie. “It’s the way that our parents are shoving this marriage right into our throats..”

“They aren’t shoving anything, Kavin. They are just doing the right thing for us..” He argues but keeps his voice low.

I emit out a sharp sigh and unknowingly my eyes train to Nithila, “I wanted to fall in love first but who cares. Everyone’s like you have to get married to the girl that we choose for you because you don’t know what you are choosing for yourself..”

“Who said you will not fall in love with her, Kavin?” He crosses his arm over his chest and gives me a condescending look.

“How are you so sure about it?” I lift my chin back at him challengingly.

“Because I have passed through your age and this is exactly how I was reacting when they were first asking me to marry Aathira..” Raising his eyebrows, he keeps talking. I could even find a subtle smirk hanging by his lips. “And being my little brother, I know exactly how your mind works..”

I want to ask him if he ever fell in love with his wife or did he just learn to live with her because he was obliged to do so. However, before I could do that, my mom calls me.

When Kathir and I go near them, I see that my mom is holding a maroon saree with intricate gold work across Nithila’s already clothed torso and looks up to me anxiously, “How does she look in this one?”

Different emotions swirl through me which were so very alien to me but the first word that comes to my head upon seeing her was- Mind-blowing.

Like I said before, Nithila can wrap a sack around her and look ravishing. Right now she is standing in front of me, her big black eyes landing everywhere but me. Her cheeks are burning red and I want to reach out to check if they are hot.

I try my best to not stare at her for too long and after what felt like forever, I successfully pull my eyes off her.

“Well?” My mom’s voice reminds me that they are waiting for my reply and I feel like I am finally out of a magic spell.  

“Hmm..” I swallow my heart that’s lodged in my throat and I struggle to keep my voice straight as an arrow, “I think it suits her..”

“And do you think she looks pretty?” My sister-in-law prods in a teasing tone and I don’t want to be rude to Nithila by not answering that.

“Yup, she looks pretty..” I say and walk out of there before they can all make a fool out of me.