Pregnant with Ex-husband's baby

Chapter 7

Nithila

I generally hate speaking highly of myself but strangely I can’t take no notice of how beautifully I’m wrapped in my green silk saree with delicate gold ornaments to go with it. My long hair is artistically braided and embellished with yet-to-bloom Jasmines.

At my request, the beautician has kept the makeup as simple as possible and I just love my overall look.

Today is the day Kavin and I are getting engaged and to say that I’m nervous would be describing it mildly because I’m a trembling mess. My hands and feet have gone stone cold and I don’t understand how I’m still able to stand on my legs.

We hadn’t met after the wedding shopping but we made it a practice to text each other at least once a day and in all the week, we talked over the phone twice when his mom called my mom to get her suggestions on something regarding the engagement preparations.

“Your Ice King is here..” My eyes widened fractionally when Nadhiya barges into my room, announcing Kavin’s arrival.

Yup, that’s the name she’s given to him.

Ice King

The very first I heard it, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing my ass off. I can’t defy her on that nickname even if I want to since it suits him so perfectly. He doesn’t talk much and when he does, his answers are short and crisp, one-worded mostly.

I wouldn’t say Kavin is arrogant but just like his mother briefed me, he is so stoic and unresponsive all the time. I don’t know if it is because we hardly know each other or that is how he is.

“Nadhiya. Shh.. What if someone hears you?” My mom who is helping me get ready chides her. “He is your brother-in-law. So stop calling him names..”

When my sister pout at me, I throw a mocking smile, “Serves you right for calling him that..”

“Who said I cannot call him names. He is my brother-in-law and I have all the right in the world to call him whatever I like..” She dares us before playfully bumping her shoulder with mine, causing me to stumble on my heels.

“Amma, look at her..” I whine, adding more gold bangles to my wrists.

“Stop behaving like kids both of you..” She shuts us and turns me around by my shoulders to get a final look.

“You look so beautiful, Nithi. May all the evil eyes turn to ash.” Her voice sounds wobbly at the end as she kisses my forehead and takes another glance at me. “I still remember the day they gave you wrapped in my arms and now I can’t believe that you are getting married.”

The tears that she had dammed in her eyes so well, break loose at this point and the transparent beads roll down her cheeks. Seeing her, my sinuses hurt while I try to control my own tears but they soon start leaking from my eyes like there’s no control to it.

“Amma, you are going to ruin akka’s eyes..” Nadhiya dabs a tissue under my eyes to avoid smudging my makeup. “She’s not getting married right away. She’ll be here until next month to trouble you. So, stop being so dramatic..”

All three of us giggle even with our moist eyes.

“Alright, I should go welcome the guests..” My mom says, wiping her face. “You girls do not come out until you’re called out, okay?”

“Okay..” We answer her in unison before she walks out of my room, shutting the door behind her but leaving it slightly opened. I take the chance to peek through the small slit and when my eyes catch sight of Kavin, my heart begins to slam in my ribcage, more than it was already slamming.

If I thought he couldn’t get any colder, then I was wrong. He’s even more distant and there is not a trace of emotion on his face. He standing there, tall, large, and as composed as ever. His hands are tucked in his pockets in his signature style, his rich dark hair is styled to perfection and his previously stubbled jaw is clean shaved.

He’s clothed as simple as possible, wearing a dark green shirt to match the color of my saree with cream-colored pants. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to his elbow which makes me wonder if Kavin has implanted a group of butterflies in my tummy without me knowing because they take flight whenever he is somewhere in my line of sight.

I know, you think I must be going insane to feel such things for him. Well, I don’t blame you because I feel the way same about myself.

There’s a small group of men around him that I haven’t seen before this day, must be his friends from their closeness.

One of them says something, making everyone laugh else but all I could see is Kavin’s face, a tiny curl of his mouth to be precise. Seeing his lips tip up at the edges, mine part to let out a small breath.

A second later when I am about to turn around, his gaze falls on mine as if he could feel my presence even without looking. My breathing quickens and I sweat under my clothes profusely. I want to hide but I don’t do it. It would only make me look like an i***t so I give him a half-smile and when I make sure he returns it back, I close the door shut. I, then place a palm over my chest to lessen the effect of his smile on that area.

After a long forty-five minutes, I am called out by my mom’s sister and I get this sudden urge to disappear into thin air.

It almost doesn’t make sense to me. All that I have done the whole week is to desperately wait for this moment but when it is actually happening, I wish for something completely opposite.

I try to concentrate on my breathing and walk to the living room where our family and friends are gathered. Half of the whole room is occupied with the gifts that Kavin’s parents have bought for me, including sarees, dresses and jewels.

I restrict my eyes to the floor but it seems impossible when I know that he’s there, right in front of me. When I lift my eyes up for a jiffy, I notice that Kavin’s watching me intently. With focus. So much focus.

There is something in those stormy eyes, something like admiration, and I latch on to the fact like a leech.

I don’t know what he is thinking but I revel in that look. I revel in the fact that in this moment I may look beautiful to his eyes. I may be his entire world just like he is becoming my entire world each passing day.

Taking a deep breath, I take a spot next to him on the two-seater sofa.

“Hi..” I almost flinch at his voice. It’s low and rough, springing tingles deep into my bones.

“Hey..” Our eyes glue on to each other and I can’t tell how deep his gaze is penetrating into me but I am sure they are going to disturb my nights like a sweet nightmare.

We go silent after that because the officiant has begun to read the sheet in his hand, which is a written vow between both families about the wedding date, venue and extensive details about the ancestral origin like names of the parents and grandparents of the to-be-bride and groom.

Once it’s done, our parents exchange a huge plate of fruits, betel leaves, areca nuts and other things which are auspicious in our tradition. This ritual is considered to be a mutual agreement between our families, a promise that Kavin and I belong to one another hereafter.

I have never given much importance to such trivial things in my life before but right now my skin is peppered with goosebumps.

Then the officiant asks us to exchange the rings and we slowly shift our bodies to face each other. I extend my hand to him and when I see them, I want to slap myself for being so shivery. It is visibly trembling until Kavin holds it in his large palm.

God, his hands are so big, huge and so warm that the heat of it is passing into my veins like a warm liquid. My heart stops beating the moment I realize that this is the first time he is actually touching me.

We are sitting so close to one another that I could feel his breath, long and hard on my forehead, filling my lungs with his musk scent.

Sliding the ring into my finger, he holds my hand for an extra two seconds before releasing it. He pushes his hand forward to me so that I could do the same. When I successfully push the ring to his finger, I hear claps erupt around us.

And only then do I remember that we are not alone. It was like all the people around us had vanished for a moment and its only Kavin and I sitting right here. I don’t know why I thought we were and now that I realize we are not, I want to pout.