Sudden Bite

Chapter 9: Public speaking

“I can’t do this,” I decide out loud as I nervously twist at my fingers, sitting on the very edge of my seat as I waited for McMillian to start class. Yes, my poem had turned out great thanks to Alexander but presenting in front of others has always been a huge struggle… today was no different.

“Hey,” Alexander calls softly, pulling me out of my head by grabbing my hand and squeezing it reassuringly, “You got this, don’t focus on anyone else – in fact they aren’t even here, just read it to me okay?”

Nervously licking my lips and searching Alec’s eyes with my own I take a moment before responding with a simple okay and small smile of gratitude. Waiting for other’s to go up one after the other made me anxious because the more people that presented their poems the closer I got to the inevitable. Friday had come all too soon thanks to business of being a senior in high school and I hadn’t even mental prepared myself like I normally had to if I wanted to successfully get through a presentation.

“Alright, Catalina you’re up next,” McMillian calls as the applause for the previous student died down. My body seemed to freeze at the mention of my name but another squeeze of the hand from Alexander allowed me to release my breath and head up to the front of the class. The grip on my paper was so tight I feared I would tear it but that was the least of my problems when my foot caught on the edge of a desk and I suddenly went flying forward. My eyes grew out of instinct and I flayed my arms in an attempt to catch myself before I can crash against the hard ground. I always have been clumsy…

Stumbling into the board at the front of the classroom I heard people chuckle and snicker but all I could think about was that I was gratefully I didn’t fall on my face like usual. It was still majorly embarrassing though and I once again felt like I couldn’t do this. Licking my lips I straightened my posture and got ready to read when McMillian told me to do so. I desperately searched for Alec’s dark chocolate eyes I was finally able to find my voice.

“Um, so my poem is called Sea above my head,” I began with a slight stutter as I try my hardest to block everyone else out and just focus on Alexander. I was reading this poem to Alexander, my friend – my only friend – and not forty students. His encouraging words rang through my head once again before I continued.

“I drown in the sea above my head. Pure blue like bluebells. Pure blue like sapphire. Engulf me and pull me in. Cotton candy clouds, Swirl and dance across the sea above my head. It’s all right there at the tips of my fingers, and yet miles away just like you. The sun falls and balls of hydrogen come out to play. They slip in and out of sight, between the white cotton of the sea above my head.”

My body instantly relaxed when the last word left my mouth and I finally done; my shoulders visibly dropped and my hands noticeably stopped shaking as I scurried back to my seat.

“You did amazing,” Alexander reassured me before I could even finish sitting down and I was thankful that he was here to say exactly what I needed to hear to calm my racing heart. Public might not seem like a big deal but I had anxiety and although over the years I’ve gotten drastically better at controlling it and maintaining it so I don’t down spiral in a complete panic attack, things like this could still get me buzzing with nerves.

After assuring that I was good he made his way to the front of the class to present his poem which was drastically better than mine… like I said the boy had a way with words.

“Alright so my poem is titled You,” Alexander began, his gaze holding mine. It was different then when I focused on him while reading my poem, his gaze was always so intense, his focus solely on me as if the world around us didn’t exist. “Your dark eye, hide a soul, more colourful than your clothes… mind made of gold, your thoughts are worth more than pennies… roses don’t compare, to your beauty, inside and out, nothing compares, to your beauty… Your smile, pulls me in… laugh got me addicted, like never before… tried to keep away, but it’s not possible, when your dark eyes… keep me wanting more.”

As the last word left his lips the class began to clap and it was like I snapped back into reality. The way he spoke, his voice deep as always and smooth but an undertone of huskiness easily hypnotized me. He read his poem at the perfect pace, pausing at the right moments. When he returned to his seat I grinned widely and hold him how amazingly he had done. I had read his poem before, but hearing him read it out loud was a whole experience in on its own.

“Wanna get some ice cream?” I suggest twenty minutes later as Alexander and I leave school for the day.

“You do know it’s raining right?” He questions looking at me as if I might have lost my mind.

“It is?” I ask in shock only for us to approach the front doors and me to look out the window to see rain falling from the dark clouds above.

“You really weren’t paying attention in English were you,” he teased referring to the massive windows in our English class where I should have clearly seen the weather.

“I was stressed,” I excuse before quickly adding, “Besides – I paid attention to your poem, it was amazing.”

“You’ve said that a dozen times already,” he comments gently bumping his shoulder against mine – or his arm against my shoulder considering the height difference between us.

“Fine then we won’t go for ice cream,” I reply with immense, obvious pettiness. Stomping away I forget about the rain only to be quickly reminded as I instantly get poured on. Alexander grabs my hand and pulls me back inside. He pulls a compactable umbrella from his bag and tosses it to me. Fumbling, I manage to catch it; Alec chuckles at me earning a glare.

“C’mon, I’ll buy you ice cream, but use that when you walk out into the rain this time.” I pout at his teasing before heading back outside and quickly opening the umbrella over my head. Lifting it up a little higher I quickly wave my hand for Alexander to join me under the protection.

“I guess I’ll let you buy me some ice cream,” I say dramatically before grinning up at him only to find him only grinning down at me with a boyish grin. It was bewitching seeing a smile on his usually blank face, it changed his face completely and he was all the more gorgeous with a smile – a real smile – on his lips. I felt myself blush at the thought before he snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Wanna go in my car? I can drive you home and then bring you to school Monday if you want – unless you’ll want your car this weekend of course,” he offers before seeming to realize that I wouldn’t have my car for two days if we did that. However, I didn’t care that I wouldn’t have my car over the weekend; I rarely left the house on the weekend anyways.

“Let’s take your car,” I tell him before beginning to walk in the direction of said car – allowing Alexander to jog a few steps to get back under the umbrella. Even though it wasn’t cold outside because it was a spring shower it was still nice to get into the warmth of his car, being a naturally cold person due to my bad blood circulation I’ve always been drawn to warm things. With faint music playing in the back Alexander drove us to a nearby ice cream parlor where I excitedly asked the person behind the counter for a scoop of cookies and cream ice cream – my favorite.

“You’re not getting any?” I ask in shock when I notice that Alexander is paying without getting any for himself.

“Um uh, lactose intolerant,” he explains sounding a little awkward – which was even more rare than seeing him smile.

“Oh, you should have told me before, we could have gone somewhere else,” I tell him, feeling a little guilty that I hadn’t taken him into consideration when I suggested ice cream. It reminded me that even though I month has passed I still have only him for a single month… it definitely felt longer than that but at the same time you can only learn so much about someone in merely four weeks.

“Hey,” he says clicking his tone and tapping my nose, “Chin up, it’s alright I don’t mind.” I nod slowly with a slight, unconscious pout making him chuckle softly. Finding a little table for two we chat while I happily lick away at my ice cream. At one point Alexander leaned across the table only to stick his finger in my ice cream and wipe it across my cheek.

“Hey you aren’t busy are you?”

“Would I be here if I were?” He asked in response making glare playfully at him before dropping the look and getting to my point.

“Wanna go to the public library with me, it’s so cool, there are like five floors and it’s like one of the most modern buildings in town, it’s actually beautiful,” I suggest, getting excitedly getting thinking about the book filled with thousands of books.

“Let’s go,” he agreed making me widely grin and throw out my dirty napkins so we could leave for the library.

“How did you get to be such a good writer?” I ask curiously as I watch the blooming nature pass by as he drove to the library. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his shrug.

“I don’t know, I just have had a lot of free time, needed a way to fill it and I guess practice makes perfect as they say,” he explained nonchalantly.

“Is that what you want to do in the future? Be a writer?”

“Maybe, I don’t really know to be honest though, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about my future,” he confesses, tone as casual as before. I was amazing at how calm he was about the subject because most seniors were stressing over their future, not knowing whether they’d get into university, whether they could afford university, whether they’d get a job and so on – I was one of said students so I would know all about it. I wish I could be as relaxed about the subject as Alexander but calm didn’t seem to be my thing unless I tried real hard. Something told me that calmness should be one of those effortless things.

I’m snapped out of my thoughts when the familiar sight of the public library comes into view and Alexander parks. When it comes to library’s a spend a lot of time at the one at school since it was pretty nice but before getting into high school my middle school and elementary school had poor excuses for libraries so I often found myself here. It’s been a while since I lasted visited but as I excitedly pulled at Alexander’s hand I was happy to find that my favorite part of the library remained the same.

There wasn’t anything special about this corner to be honest, there was a table just like any other table in the library, hidden behind selves of books – however, what I liked was about it was that all those books were the exact type of book that I liked. I was a sucker for fiction novels.

“You don’t mind being here do you?” I ask suddenly realizing that I wanted to come here to read… but that reading was kind of individual activity.

“Why would I?” He asked tilting his head to the side, an expression of genuine of confusion crossing his features.

“Never mind,” I reply shaking my head slightly. Unconsciously, almost like a habit, I began to lightly run my fingers along the spines of books sorted on the many shelves until one catches my eye, Alexander following me a bit like a puppy all the while. I was partly aware of him leaning against the bookshelf as I pull out the book and flipped to the back to read the summary. The content with my pick I lead Alexander over to the table I once constantly occupied and sat down to read without another thought. As if it were lunch time Alexander sat across from me and stretched one arm across the table to lay his head against, his other hand folding so his hand was by his face. The familiarity of the scene was comforting and I found myself easily slipping into my book, strangely having this knowing feeling that I was safe.

Becoming so absorbed in my book, one knee bent and propped up to hold up my arm so I could chew on my nail while reading, using my free hand to hold my book. It was like I could see nothing but the words on the page before me but after a while my concentration was broken by this odd feeling. Glancing up from my book it was then that I noticed that Alec’s eyes were closed and that he was in fact looking at me – for god knows how long too.

“Um, hi?” I stutter with rosy cheeks, feeling a little flustered knowing that Alexander had been watching me with soft, careful, whiskey colored eyes.

“Hi,” he replies, a small smile making its way along his lips.

“Uh, so like, if you’re bored we could totally leave, I don’t mind,” I awkwardly say thinking that’s why he had been staring at me – as if he had been waiting.

“I don’t mind, I like seeing you read,” he tells me making me raise a questioning eyebrow at his slightly creepy comment. As if he knew what I was thinking he playfully rolled his eyes and added, “I just like seeing you do the things you love; you look different when you are.”

“What do I look like then?” I ask curiously.

“Well I suppose not that different, for some reason you just become even more beautiful when doing the things you love,” he tried to explain with that small grin of his.

“Beau- beautiful?” I stutter, my blush intensifying.

“Of course.”