Sudden Bite

Chapter 10: Home alone

April 26th my phone read as I lay in bed that morning, looking at the digital calendar to see what I had going on today – obviously my classes but what I was most interested in was the fact that I had a math test this morning. If I hadn’t make note of it in my phone I surely would have forgotten and never studied for it like I did. Times like this I loved technology, it took away the stress of having to remember so much. The reminder that was presented on my phone was the exact reason I didn’t worry about the test as I finally got out of bed.

“You sure you’ll be alright staying home alone?” Dad fretted as I sipped at my morning coffee, sweater paws holding the mug and absorbing the heat.

“Of course, I turned eighteen last month,” I assure once again.

“But it’s overnight are you sure?” He continued to worry making me grin slightly. Some might find this annoying but I didn’t mind, he wasn’t telling me to do something or forbidding me to do something, he was simply worrying about me as any father would.

“I’m positive, don’t worry about me while you’re away,” I reassure; I genuinely thought that this would be good for Sam and dad, being a single dad he didn’t have a lot of time to go on father son adventures like this – even though this was a school organized thing.

“Alright, call if you need anything,” he reminds me as he pulls me into a tight hug, “And I left some cash under the cookie jar if you don’t want to cook.”

“Thank you,” I hum excitedly already knowing that I would be having Chinese take out for dinner. After one last hug I return upstairs to get ready for the day – but not before stopping in the hallway to say goodbye to Sam since they would be leaving before me.

“See ya tomorrow sis,” he says as he picks me up in and hug and dramatically spins me around solely to make me dizzy and stumble slightly when he sets me back down.

“Whatever nerd,” I reply, attempting to glare at him for making me dizzy but him telling me that I looked like a mad kitten quickly turned my glare into a disappointed glare. Reaching up on the tips of my toes I quickly reach up to ruffle his hair before I hurry down the hallway to the bathroom, a grin spreading across my face when I hear him complain. Standing in the doorway to the bathroom I turn to look back at him. “Have fun,” I tell him sincerely before waving and disappearing into the bathroom.

In nearly twenty minutes I managed to throw my hair up into a messy bun at the back of my head, tie a bandana around my head like a headband, change into a white t shirt and light blue skinny jeans and slip on my glasses along with everything else I needed to get cleaned up for the day, grab my backpack and head out. Out of habit I blew my thin bangs out of my eyes as they fell in the way and locked the front door – something I normally never had to do since dad usually left after Sam and I if not at the same time.

I successfully got through my math test along with the entire day… having a friend to keep you company and to vent to about your stresses definitely helped with that. Over two months my life had changed completely all thanks to Alexander and even though it was a subtle change it also made all the difference. For years I thought that I was alright on my own, and even though I did enjoy my time alone, constantly living like that was horrible… but I guess I had forgotten how good it could be so I didn’t know the difference anymore – at least now until Alexander and I became friends.

It was a little weird when I got home to find the house empty but I quickly got used to it, I did some homework and then ordered Chinese takeout before setting up my spot in the living room before the large TV. Netflix was open and one of my favorite shows (The Flash) was ready to be replayed for the umpteenth time. When my food arrived I paid with the money dad had left with me before pressing play on Netflix. That’s exactly how I spent the next few hours and by the time I finally stood up from my spot on the couch it was dark outside and nearing midnight.

“Wow,” I mumble to myself, feeling a little sheepish that I had let so much time go over my head without me even noticing. I just kept pressing play on the next episode, I didn’t keep track of how many times I actually did that.

Cleaning up the living room and throwing out my garbage I turned off the lights and headed upstairs, suddenly feeling a little uneasy. Like I said, I love my alone time, but I’ve never actually been home alone overnight – dad was always home even if Sam wasn’t. I’d never been scared of the dark but as soon as I flicked the lights off unease settled within me...the house just felt so hallow. The sound of steps creaking under pressure made me flinch as I hurried up to my bedroom. Even though I enjoyed my alone time, never had I spent the night alone at home. The silence was deafening and small sounds become a hundred times louder because of the quiet.

Quickly grabbing my fluffy pyjama pants and camisole I hurried down the dark hallway to the bathroom so I could get ready for bed. I tried to calm my racing heart, scolding myself for getting worked up over nothing. Truth be told I wasn’t scared of much, not the dark or the night, horror movies didn’t get to me and I loved Halloween. But being an over thinker has always been my biggest weakness. It was no surprise that my mind and body alike decided to act against any and all logical thought.

As I returned to my bedroom that was lit by nothing more than fairy lights my breathing had noticeably picked up, becoming more ragged without my consent. My body began to tremble slightly and my legs became jello beneath me so I quickly sat on the edge of my window seat. Irrational thoughts plagued my mind and soon I found my throat closing up. The lack of oxygen made me chock and as a result panic. Panicking during the early onset of a panic attack made it impossible to take control. It’s been just under a year since my last anxiety attack... figures I have one the one time I’m home alone.

I should have been able to quickly grasp control of situation at the start, after all the techniques I learned I should have... but the burn in my throat and lungs alike made it impossible for me not to panic. Soon my vision blurred thanks to tears and the absence of oxygen in my body... I thought I was going to pass out but the fretful thought only made my panic attack worsen.

And then... all of a sudden a familiar deep voice managed to break though by calling my name.

“Kit!?” Urgency and sorry filled his voice. I became aware of the warm feeling of his large hands gripping my upper arms gently but I couldn’t see him - at least not really. Alexander’s form was a blurry shape before my eyes as I clawed at the front of my shirt in desperation.

“Hey, hey, hey it’s okay, I’m here,” he said voice suddenly much calmer and soothing. He let go of my arms to instead grab my hand and lay it flat against my chest, his free hand moving behind my neck to gently press our foreheads together. “Breath with me okay? You feel my heart, just follow along to the pace of it okay?” His voice was assuring and encouraging. As he continued to mumble similar words I managed to focus on the strong beating of his heart beneath my hand. Although my breathing was shaking I finally managed actually breath was improvement in on its own.

It didn’t happen just like that but slowly and surely my breathing became less swallow and each breathe in and out become a little longer. At some point I had ended up closing my eyes so I could better focus on my breathing, at first they were tightly clenched but as my lungs recover oxygen easily again I felt my face relax along with the rest of my body that had become so incredibly tensed over nothing.

“Kit?” Alexander asked with a quiet and careful voice after what had to be at least a dozen minutes and him soothing me and me trying to breathe properly. It was quiet for a moment as I took a couple more deep breaths before speaking.

“Thank you.” My voice sounded a little hoarse because of my sore throat but otherwise I was better... a lot better now. “Wait, how are you here?” I ask as my mind finally realized what was happening.

“I knew you were home alone and you didn’t answer my message so I got worried, you know you really shouldn’t leave your window open it’s really easy to get up here,” he explains voice still low and relaxed making me feel further relaxed as a result.

“Good timing,” I mumble before closing my eyes again to continue to catch my breath.

“Are you alright?” He asks, thumb gently rubbing back and forth over the back of my hand that he still held against the steady beat of his heart.

“I am I just-” I suddenly froze as I realized... “I’m so stupid,” I chaste myself, “I completely forgot to take my medication tonight no wonder I lost control so easily.” I was mostly talking to myself at this point but I didn’t mind that Alexander over heard.

“Medication?” He asked, worry slipping into his voice. After the emotional panic I went through I still managed a small - but genuine - smile.

“An anti-depressant... I’ve been taking it for two years now.” Before he could begin to pity me I quickly added, “But I’m good I am... I just went through some stuff and I’m better now.”

“Needed medication doesn’t make you weak,” he tells me causing me to release a small size. Even if I didn’t intentionally keep the information away from him part of me was a little afraid about how he would react when he did find out. I remember before I started taking me meds that I had refused so hard because I just wanted to be normal... after I started taking them I realized that I was more normal with them than I was without.

“Thank you,” I whisper yet again.

“Hey Kit,” Alexander begins after a short moment of silence. The time in his voice had changed because although it remained serious it wasn’t necessarily filled with concern now. “You remember a while back when I messed everything up?”

“... Ya,” I reply a little hesitantly, not quite sure why he was bribing this up now if all times.

“I was stupid back then when we fought, I took away your freedom of choice and even worse I couldn’t even make up my own damn mind which only hurt and confused you more.” I leaned away from Alex slightly so I could take off my glasses and see his eyes better (my glasses were to see far away but they could hurt sometimes if I was looking at something close up). “But the stupidest thing I did was kiss you... I was impulsive and reckless and I should have saved that for a better moment... a moment like now.”

My breath caught in my throat and I froze at his words. I knew exactly what he was saying and yet I couldn’t help but ask...

“What do you mean?”

“Can I be selfish and have you Kit? Not just as a friend but more... I like you Kit, like a lot,” he confesses looking so deeply into my eyes I was sure that he could see my soul and read my thoughts.

“You like me?” I whisper to myself, the thought seeming impossible to me. I’d be a lair if I said I didn’t have a minor - major - crush in the boy I’ve considered my first friend in a long time. But never had it crossed my mind that he might feel the same about me.

Alexander cracked a smile and his hand that was at the back of my neck slide to the side and his thumb gently brushed along my jaw. “I really do,” he confirmed making me grin so wide I had to but my bottom lip to contain myself.

What a wonderful turn the night had taken.

“I uh... I kinda really like you too,” I admit sheepishly butting down even harder to contain myself. Wow I really felt like a love sick teenage girl... even though that technically kind of is what I am. With his thumb Alexander gently pulled my lip out from between my teeth and leaned in close so I could feel his minty breath fan across my face softly. I didn’t realize it but I was gripping at his shirt over his heart.

“Can I?” He asks gently nudging his nose against mine. A slight nod of my head was all it took for him to finally close the small gap between us and take my breath away.

Automatically I noticed the difference from my first kiss. There was raw feeling and passion behind it, it wasn’t Alexander pushing himself and trying to appease me in any way possible… this was real. His touch was gentle and soft but with just enough force to face me dizzy. His hand slipped from over mine to mirror what his other hand was doing only on the other side of my face. My eyes had quickly fluttered shut when his lips originally slotted against my own. Even when he pulled away so we could breathe my lips chased after his but didn’t start another kiss. As if hypnotized my body my body came forward but then back again as I calmed myself, taking a moment before opening my eyes again to face Alexander.

“That was… nice,” I mumble shyly with a small grin.

“Very nice,” he hummed in agreement, tucking hair behind my ear before leaning in to kiss the corner of my mouth.

“So… what now?” I ask with a hint of nervousness slipping through. We had confessed feelings for each other that went beyond kissing… we then kissed… so we definitely weren’t just friends anymore right? But at the same time we weren’t anything else either. I felt as if I never knew where Alexander and I stood as we always seemed in between two statuses; strangers and friends and friends and… something more.

“Well I’d really like it if I could take you out on an official date?” He asked, a bit of a sly smile making its way onto his face.

“I’d like that too.” It becomes contently quiet for a moment… and then it fell apart as the house creaked especially loudly and I jumped. “Alexander… will you stay tonight? I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“Of course Kit, I’d never leave you,” he agrees instantly. Standing up from the window seat he tills my head up slightly and kisses my forehead before pulling away to ask, “Can I barrow your bathroom before we sleep?”

“Ya, it’s just down the hall, second door on the left,” I easily explain before he nods and heads out of my room. Gently I trace my lips with the tip of my finger before grinning. I wanted to chide myself for being so cliché and getting all worked up over Alexander and I’s kiss… but I was too happy. I really did like Alexander. It didn’t matter if I didn’t know about his past or his family – all that mattered was Alexander now. What I learned about him during our time and how he acted when we were together because that’s how I got to know him. It might not be a direct ask and get an answer but I loved slowly learning about him and I loved everything that I did learn about him.

Alexander returning to my room snapped me out of my little bubble and I instantly stood up. Within moments the both of us were wrapped under the warm blankets of my bed – my fairy lights still on since I felt a little jumpy after my panic attack. His arm was wrapped around me, fingers distractedly dragging up and down my bare arm making me shiver in a pleasant way. I was honestly exhausted… I might be a night owl but going through a panic attack is physically and especially mentally draining. Not only was I dead tired but a felt safe and comfortable in Alexander’s arms… it was perfect and I very rarely associated the word perfect to anything.

Life might not be perfect but it sure did have its perfect moments.