Three Alpha's, One selection (Ending reimagined)

Chapter 35

I woke up feeling more tired than I was when I had originally gotten into bed. I know I can't go on like this, but the end is almost in sight. This weekend is the Alpha ball. After that, I am done with him and this place. Only five more days until the packs are here and seven more days before I can go home. Seven days is nothing compared to almost three years. I moved out of his hold and went to the kitchen. After finishing my studies Rowan moved me into an abandoned cottage at the edge of the pack grounds. He wanted me to live in the pack but not where everyone would notice me. He knows the pack will follow along with whatever he does or says, but he doesn't want them to know how completely depraved he is.

Living here means that they can't hear my screams. It doesn't mean that they don't know and that they can't see. Even a blind man can see past my fake smiles. I'm not allowed to show my pain, I'm not allowed to let them see how broken I truly am.

When I look in the mirror I feel disgusted at what I see so I try my best and even fool my reflection. I tell myself how beautiful I am and how strong I am. When I see a frown or creases in my brow I pull funny faces. I tell myself that it works, my little placebo effect.

I got the ingredients out of the fridge to make French toast, bacon and eggs. I did the bacon first and then I made the French toast in the bacon's grease, just as he liked it. The eggs I made in a new pan. He likes his egg pure white, with no grease on it. It has to be cooked in salted butter. I was almost done when he came in. I tried my best to relax and not tense up. He doesn't like that at all. He hugged me from behind kissing the top of my head.

"Good morning little mate." Mate, today is a good day.

"Good morning, My Love." I have learned not to say this through clenched teeth. We've been playing house since he moved me here. it turns out Aceline doesn't know how to be a housewife. Not that she is his wife yet. She can't cook even with me trying to teach her these last two years, she doesn't clean and she is honestly not that great with a relationship. She is great with the chase, the s*x and wanting the relationship to progress, but there is no affection between them. Whatever she lacks he gets from me. He found all this out when they moved in together. She wasn't part of the pack so she couldn't live on pack ground and he was supposed to live in the pack house especially after he killed his father. What a day it had been.

Flashback (Almost a year ago)

"You summoned me." when he calls I come. No hesitation on my part. He has threatened to collar me like a dog and keep me by his side if I don't. Being cuffed to a bed is bad enough and being caged is worse, but the idea of being led around by a leash like a slave is by far the worst thing he can do.

"You need to be at the initiation ceremony tonight." I don't understand why he would summon me here to tell me this. I am always there. I try my best to let the scholarship students feel more welcome. I have been to at least 72 of them since I got here.

"You need to make tonight's special. Make it a celebration. I want there to be decorations in the pack colours. I also want a buffet and champagne. You need to make it one of your prestigious events." It's a lot to ask. It is after all in less than 12 hours.

"Is that going to be a problem?" He asked before I could voice my concerns, but from the tone of his voice I knew my opinions weren't permitted

"No, it won't. I was just curious about why tonight is different." I questioned carefully. I knew it wasn't about him suddenly having a heart and wanting to make it special- to make the scholarship students feel welcome.

"We will be having a real initiation tonight. Honestly, you can't possibly think that you are the only one that has graduated. You are so selfish. Always only thinking of yourself." his words couldn't have been further from the truth. I only think of him. He has taken over my entire life. I can't even breathe without thinking what he will do.

"I will do it." It's not like I have a choice. It's going to be a lot of work. I can't even have the high school students help me because it is a school day. It means I will have to rely on pack members. I hate working with them. They know what I go through and they just don't care.

"I will tell Aceline. She will have to know how to do this since it is something that will happen quite often." I told him as I turned to leave. He grabbed my hair and pulled me back. I landed against his chest.

"Did I tell you to involve her?" He growled in my ear. I was frozen. My scalp burning from his intense hold.

"I'm sorry I won't involve her. I just thought it was something that she should learn." I never know what will set him off. Next time I don't involve her he will snap again. I can't win it is a cycle of me always losing. I think something with the mate bond made him snap in a way. Aceline never noticed this violent possessive streak in him until I came along. Maybe it is just the power that is getting to him. Having full control over someone must be a rush.

I have felt that power rush the one or two times I have commanded people from the pack. It must be addicting. I know it will be for me. I have no power and I'm on a road that will only lead to me being broken. Having a taste of that power of being able to control something is thrilling. Which is why I don't do it. The only time it happens is when I don't realize it. Usually when I'm tired or annoyed and that one time with Anthony when I was desperate.

"You have too many clothes on." it is what always happens. When we touch I get turned on because of the mate bond. It shouldn't be happening to him too, but it does, it could just be that he is a hot-blooded male with a high libido. The other reason for his erratic behaviour can be because I am around. They say that a wolf without a mate becomes more primal, more like an animal.

This is why rejected mates usually take a chosen mate to keep their sanity in check. How much is it changing him having me, his rejected mate around and still having some sort of relationship with me so he can't move on?

"My wounds don't heal fast enough. I need to be covered up." that seemed to snap him out of it as he released me. That is the thing. He doesn't intend to harm me. It's like the irrational wild side just takes over. The bangles cut into me at night when I sleep and leave marks, cuts and bruises behind.

"Leave before I rip your clothes off. It is important to you that no one sees you belong to me." I was out the door within seconds. I was afraid. I knew his wolf was surfacing. Whenever he speaks of showing people I am his it is the wolf. He likes marking my body to show everyone. His pride is shown through love bites, marking me by ripping open my old mark, claw marks and things like the brand he did himself or the tattoo on my inner thigh that says 'Property of Rowan Venery'. I won't be able to ever wear a bikini again.

I had so much that I needed to do, but first I went to our decoration cupboard. I have to find things that incorporate the pack colours. There isn't time to get a lot of things before tonight. I will have to make do with what I have. The pack colours are sage green, emerald green, gold, champagne and charcoal. They are all very easy to incorporate in decor. I got a few things from the cupboard and put them in my office, but there was still a lot I needed to get.

I went to the florist first to see what I could get and placed an order for delivery. Flowers are great to use in decor, but I prefer fake flowers. Then at least I can re-use them, but to get good quality fake flowers I would have to search for the right ones online and have them ordered. Which is something I will do after this event for future events. That way I have them on hand.

Greenery is very expensive. After that, I went to the hardware store where I got PVC piping and fittings to make a square arch the size of the stage. It will be the easiest way to incorporate some decor to make it look elegant and done up. When you only have a stage and tables you are seriously limited by decor choices.

Lastly, I went to the fabrics store to get the last things I needed for the decor. Then I went to a bunch of different restaurants to ask if they were willing to cater. Most said no due to the short notice, but luckily one did agree. It was a small new start-up that needed the business.

I was just relieved because Rowan would not have taken kindly to me buying food from shops. He prefers freshly cooked and not things that have stood in a display window. He would probably prefer if I had done all the food myself, but that is too big a ask. Most of the pack shows up to the initiations. It’s a lot of food to do. I will be making the desert things myself since I know there is no way a bakery will be able to accommodate my strict time frame.

Once I was done with all of that I rushed back to the pack-grounds. I started with the cake since it would take the longest. I mixed the batter and got the cake into the oven. Then I melted white chocolate and added the colouring to get different colours of green and whitish champagne colour. I dipped strawberries in the chocolate and left them to dry so that I could later do the second coat of chocolate decorating.

By the time I finished coating them, the cake was done. I placed it in plastic bags to make it sweat a little as I placed it in the fridge. I wanted it fluffy. I can’t have it out all day so it was the best option.

Next, I started to put together the PVC pipe arch. It was just three pipes and two fittings. I built it in front of the stage since it would be too large to carry out here and I wouldn’t be able to do it alone. I propped it up against the stage. Getting on the stage I was high enough to decorate the top of it.

I bought green and champagne chiffon material for the arch. I started at the left-hand side having both colors draped over the entire length leaving it to pool at the bottom. At the top, I threw it over at different intervals making it hang in loops before curtaining it over to the middle of the right-hand side pole leaving the right corner bare. I still had to wait for the flowers so I mind liked Rowan's betas.

They were the only males he trusted around me. Birke still isn't a big fan of mine. He makes it clear that he can’t wait for Rowan to be done with me. Honestly same. Joshua on the other hand just has sympathy for me. I can see it in his eyes and it kills me. I asked them to get out the wood rectangle tables and carry them over to the stage area. They didn’t say anything, but I swear I felt Birke’s hostility through the mind link. It wasn’t long before I saw them carrying out the first table.

“I am not your damn lackey!” Birke growled at me. Like I had a choice in any of this.

“You won’t be my first pick if I could. Honestly, you wouldn’t even fall in my top ten, but Rowan doesn’t trust me around the other males of the pack.” It was all the truth and if he had a problem with it he should bring it up with Rowan because I wouldn’t do it.

“It’s because you are a thirsty slut.” What does that even mean? I just love how I keep on being called a slut, a w***e and a b***h. I don’t do anything to warrant these labels, but still they call me it. I just rolled my eyes at him. There is no point in arguing with him about this. I quickly started with the table decor. I placed sage green chiffon runners down the middle along with golden candle sticks. I bought charcoal-coloured candles. I also bought gold spray and lightly dusted them in the gold spray before placing them in the candle sticks.

I also found some round champagne-coloured candles that I also placed on the tables. As they carried out the rest of the tables I decorated them. I then went to finish the cake and strawberries. I took a spoon and drizzled chocolate over the already chocolate-coloured strawberries. I painted some of the drizzle gold as it dried and added some gold and blackish-grey sprinkles with tweezers it was very delicate work.

I squirted some simple syrup on the cake before adding white icing. I did this with each layer before putting them on one another. I scrapped the white of the sides giving it that half-iced look and then I dusted it with icing sugar powder to give it a matte look. I rushed out to go do the flowers. I only got greenery and champagne-coloured roses.

I made the top of the arch full of greenery with a couple of roses here and there. I asked Joshua and Birke to put the arch up when I was done.

I moved on with the tables adding the greenery and roses in the middle of the tables.

Once they had the arch up I put golden lanterns at the bottom of it with thick charcoal gold sprayed candles and some of the flowers. I took the greenery and put it around each layer of the cake. Without having much of an option of who could help me I linked Alicia and Kelli.

I have pulled away from both of them. Rowan doesn’t think I need friends and he doesn’t like Alicia. I also don’t have it in me to pretend I am okay around them. At least when I am busy I’m too distracted to even worry about how I am feeling.

They helped me to plate everything and carry it out to the tables. The food looked good. It was a bit late. There was only about two hours before the ceremony. I still need to get ready. With the two of them helping it went quickly.

Alicia and I mostly stayed in the kitchen while Kelli ran everything out. It was very awkward.

“What is that?” Alicia said grabbing my arms. We had hardly spoken more than five words to each other the whole time and now she is looking at my battered wrists that still have the golden bangles on.

“It is nothing.” I ripped my hands from hers. I know I am a hypocrite. I complain no one cares and then when someone does I try and avoid it. It’s just if she goes to confront Rowan he might snap. Either on her or me.

“Did he cuff you?” She asked, the concern dripping out of her eyes.

“He had to cuff you more than once for it to look like that…does he chain you up?… Does he chain you up every night?” I ignored her putting the last food on a plate.

“You can’t let him do that, Lara.” She said I heard the quiver in her throat.

“I can’t let him? Really? Do you think I let him do it? I don’t have a choice I am just his property.” I freaked out on her. I know she didn’t mean it like I took it. I’m just frustrated at the fact that the victim also gets blamed.

"Someone has to stop him!" I slapped my hand over her mouth.

"He can come in at any moment and hear you. Please just drop it. I'm leaving after the Alpha ball. If he finds out you know it will be far worse." I knew she saw the fear in my eyes. I dropped my hand from her mouth.

"It's abuse." It goes beyond just simple abuse.

"I need to go get ready." I said rushing out of the kitchen and going to the cottage where I'd been living for about a week. I was planning to get ready in his room since everything I needed was there, but I was afraid he heard Alicia and would lock me up in the cage.

I got dressed in an A-line dress. It's a silk button-up dress that comes to mid-thigh. The top sits tight like a corset and has a square collar, there is a belt in my middle. It has long sleeves with tight button-up cuffs on my wrists. The dress is a rose gold colour. I put on a pair of white heels before just touching up my curls and pinning them loosely on my head. I only touched up my make-up since I did it properly in the morning.

There is no point in hiding my mate mark since everyone knows who and what I am. I put on a pair of gold earrings and then made my way over. I went to get the cake and placed it on the table. It was still half an hour before the ceremony would start. Everyone was starting to arrive. I quickly lit all the candles. The decor gave the outdoor space an elegant and romantic ambience.

"Luna." a group of people greeted me as they walked past me. I hate it when people call me Luna. It felt nice in the beginning but it feels like I'm impersonating someone. I hate how everyone refers to me as Luna knowing that it is someone else who will end up as their Luna.

I saw unfamiliar faces nodding at me in respect. They have no idea how little respect this pack gives me. I smiled warmly at them. They are being nice. I walked over to the stage and waited for Rowan to show up. I saw him walking up with Aceline on his arm. She looked absolutely beautiful like always.

They do make a very good couple. Which is only more reason for him to let me go. She has become nastier over the last year. She spreads nasty rumours about me and in my company, she treats me like the dirt under her shoe. It has made it difficult to train her. Not that she has ever been very open to the idea of learning, but since we got back after I gave birth it has been worse.

I looked at all the scholarship students. They had been eager moments ago, so happy and giddy by the idea that they were being accepted into Lupus Nobilitatis. Now they are looking in confusion at me and Aceline.

She doesn’t usually come to the initiation and when she does she doesn’t make an entrance, but this must just be another way for her to make my life difficult. We all went on the stage where Rowan gave the speech he gave every time. I looked at him to see if he expected me to go and welcome them or to see if Aceline would step up and be Luna.

They didn’t move so I walked over and welcomed them warmly as I always do. Since I have become Interim Luna I have tried to make the lives of the Scholarship students easier. There isn’t much I could do, since Rowan allocates their positions to them. I just make sure that the roles they fill are easier than the pack wants them to be. I make sure the pack members do their part as well.

At this point in the ceremony, things come to an end and the new members go to see Rowan for their job allocations, but he had said that we were initiating new pack members into the pack. I wasn’t sure who since he didn’t feel the need to tell me.

A group intake of breath pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked around to see what was happening to see Rowan on his knee holding out a ring towards Aceline. He had lied to me, this was just another way to embarrass me in front of the entire pack. My wolf howled in agony in my head as we stood and watched our mate propose to his chosen mate. It didn’t bother me all that much. I knew it would happen at some point and I welcomed it. What bothered me was that the whole pack was seeing me his mate standing here watching him declare his love to someone else. It was more than embarrassing, it was humiliating.

My wolf was in too much pain, she crept inside the corner of my mind, fading into the darkness. It made me worried as I couldn’t feel her as I used to. She felt barely there in my subconscious. I couldn’t linger on my worried feelings about my wolf since I heard Aceline shriek a ‘Yes’.

My focus was back on them as he slid the ring on her finger. To think about it, it is embarrassing that I planned my mates' engagement party. I spent the whole day running around for him to surprise her. She rushed into his arms kissing him. My wolf would be going mad by now, she hated witnessing them being intimate and affectionate, but there was nothing. It made me feel empty. She has always been there in my head, but not now.

“No, I do not approve.” A voice boomed from the crowd before Rowan's father stepped out and started moving towards the stage.

“She will be useless as a Luna. Everyone knows it, even you know that. As Alpha, you should be putting the pack's needs above your own. You know that your Mate is the better option. She is better in every way. Which is exactly why you keep her around as Interim Luna and as your mistress. If you disagree with me prove it let the poor girl go. If you think Aceline will be a better Luna let Dilara go back home.”

By the end of his rant, he was on the stage close to me. I looked down at the ground. I didn’t want to be involved in this. I don’t even know what he is thinking. The last time he went against Rowan he had nearly been killed and I had to nurse him back to health. He has been pretty MIA since then. It would be nice if Rowan did let me go at this moment.

He is being put on the spot. His father is forcing him to choose his Luna or me. If he doesn’t choose Aceline things might get crazy again. She will also lose even more respect from the pack since he will make it clear that he believes that I am the better Luna.

"Why would I want a pathetic mate, like you have?" In such a fast blur Rowan shot forward with one blow he slammed his hand into his father's throat and ripped it out. It was a clear message for those who would dare to speak out against him.

“Is there anyone else that has a problem with my choice in Luna?” He growled at the crowd. I stood there frozen to my core, blood splattered all over my dress and the side of my face. Rowan used his bloody hand to grab my chin forcing me to look at him.

“Do you have a problem with it?” He asked me looking me dead in the eyes. I was scared witless, any opinions I had were gone.

“No of course not. You know I fully support your relationship.” He nodded letting go of me. I saw Aceline smirking at me. The one thing she didn’t consider was that he couldn’t choose. She lost this round, he'd rather kill his father than give me up. He couldn’t send me away and that is the reason why he acted out so violently to distract from that fact.

“Lara you can meet with the new scholarship runts and assign their jobs. There is a list on my desk. I have an engagement to celebrate with my pack. Also, have someone come and clean up this mess.” This mess? He had no regard for his father. If he was so cold towards his father how would he one day be towards me when he doesn’t need me anymore?

End of flashback

After he killed his father I went in with the scholarship students who were shaken by what had happened. We weren't allowed to be part of the feast that I had worked on all day. I reassured them that everything would be okay. Then I called them one by one to Rowan's office.

I had warned them about what they were walking into and asked if studying was really what they wanted. I thought I could at least help one of them, but none of them decided to go back home. If I knew what this would have turned into I would have run back home. I tried it after only a couple of days. Some of them returned to me later to inform me that they were leaving. They were lucky they could and they were only being overworked. They aren’t even going through what I am going through.

***

I took some food and sat down with him to eat breakfast. It is part of the rules that I take care of myself. Eating is part of that. I had my bottle of water that I had to finish. I had to start early to finish it by the end of the day.

“Are you ready for this weekend?” He asked me. I was scared. He wasn’t eating. He was just sitting there staring at me. I've learned to predict his moods. I didn’t know how to answer the question because it seemed like he was waiting for me to say the wrong thing. He wants to punish me. I won’t give him the opportunity or satisfaction.

“Yes, I am. Everything is arranged and I will personally make sure that everything goes off without a hitch. I won’t embarrass you.” I didn’t answer what he asked. He wanted to know if I was ready as in ready to leave. He wanted me to slip up and say that I was ready to go home, but I played it save I rather spoke of my Luna role in the event. Before he could say anything else I brought up what I had wanted to say for a while now.

“I was thinking that I shouldn’t attend the events. I don’t want to cause any problems for you or confusion due to our unique arrangement. I thought it would be better for it to just be you and Aceline since it is the two of you that the Alphas will deal with...in the future.” I don’t want sympathy glances from every Alpha. I also really don’t want to run into Alpha Silvano and Luna Emilia. I am sure to make mistakes if I am around them. My excitement will show when I am around them. I don’t want to mess things up when I am so damn close, finally.

“No.” I know I shouldn’t ask, but I wanted to know why even if it got me into trouble

“Why?” Just asking why, made it sound like I was whining. Which to some point I was. I never get what I want.

“Because if anything goes wrong you need to be there to fix it.” He was right. I am the only one who knows everything in and out about the inner workings of this pack and event. I hardly slept this last month as I tried to perfect everything. I tried to include Aceline, but she just doesn’t care. I don’t know what she is going to do when I am not here anymore. I can’t believe I am not going to be here anymore. Me leaving can’t come at a better time. I have so much riding on this.