Three Alpha's, One selection (Ending reimagined)

Chapter 37

It is time. The weekend has finally come and I am so completely giddy that it is hard to hide it. Rowan has been lurking around this week. Not giving me even a moment of peace. My body aches. He has been occupying my bed every night and has summoned me to his during the day. It's like he was trying to use me up before this weekend. Which is ridiculous. You can't use a person up no matter how hard you try. I am done though. Done with him and done with this. Sunday this ends. One way or another.

I decided to go for a walk. My cottage is at the edge of the forest so I do this a lot. It is the only peace I can find in this place. The air is nice and crisp on my exposed arms. It feels so good to not have them covered up. The crunch of the earth beneath my feet felt so familiar and yet so far gone. I took a deep breath while closing my eyes. The freshness of it all made me almost want to cry. Everything around me is covered in his scent. It envelops me and it just won’t dissipate, but out here I am free. I closed my eyes standing still for a moment and enjoying it all knowing in a few minutes I have to go back to that life, back to him.

This is all I have left of my werewolf side, my senses. I try and enjoy them whenever I can. I’m afraid if I don’t use them I will lose them. My wolf is gone. She never came back after the engagement. I know she is still somewhere in me, but it’s like the darkness swallowed her up. She can’t seem to hear me. He hasn’t managed to break me, but he has broken her. Nothing came of it though. If she was completely gone the mate bond would be too and I would have been free of him, it would have come at a great cost though, but at least losing her would have allowed me the freedom I yearn for. I took my last deep breath wishing I could keep it in and savour the smell and this feeling for the rest of the day.

I turned away from this feeling of freedom and walked back to my cage. The closer I got to the pack grounds the more it weighed on me. Before stepping out of the treeline I plastered the fake smile that I had perfected on my face. I never know who is watching me.

The Alphas will be starting to arrive soon. They have until this afternoon to arrive and get situated. Then we will have dinner together. I’m supposed to meet all of them. Do the meet and greet thing and send them to their rooms. It is ridiculous that Rowan doesn’t intend to meet any of them in person. I feel like it is very disrespectful whereas he sees it as him showing his dominance over them. Even with the Alphas, he is pretending that he is more important. Yes, this pack has a lot of influence and is regarded very highly, but that only goes so far. It is about good relationships built between packs.

This event is already such a crazy idea. The idea is that for one weekend all these Alphas have to set aside their feelings for one another and enjoy their time together. It almost seems like some idiotic idea that all of them can behave themselves, but they do. I guess that is why it is only done every couple of years and why it is held here almost like this pack is neutral ground. Its pack grounds the only one being put on full display for everyone to see as it is such a large and respected pack that even if the packs were looking for a way to infiltrate and attack it they wouldn’t manage it.

I intend to play nice with the Alphas and save face. Not everyone in this pack is awful. They don’t deserve to be attacked just because their Alpha has an ego. I got to my cottage taking a shower. I need to get dressed and ready to meet the Alphas. My outfit and look is casual elegance. Most of the people coming would have been driving for hours or been on planes. They will not look their best and I do not intend to make them feel less or embarrassed for their appearance.

Rowan wanted me in a fancy gown handing out long flute champagne glasses filled with expensive champagne to show off the pack's wealth. I went with a different plan. It sometimes amazes me just how out of touch he can be with his humanity. I got dressed in a long tulle pleaded A-line maxi skirt that came to my calves with a tight long-sleeved top that I tucked into the skirt. I also have a beige, red and green plaid blanket scarf. I twisted it around my neck and let it hang in a big loop over the entire front of my shirt. I looked chic.

My make-up I did to give a warm look I used a light pinkish peach colour in my inner corner and layered different warm brown colours to create depth on my lids' outer corner topping it off with a dark brown for some definitions. I only used bronzer and contorting for my cheeks instead of blush and put highlighter on the inner corners of my eyes the bridge and tip of my nose, chin and forehead just above my nose. I felt like the attention was pulled to my blue eyes. Which is where I want their focus to be. I want eye contact. I finished my make-up with a reddish brown dark lip.

I curled my pinkish blond hair and pinned it to the side with a few strands shaping my face. I made sure that my entire look hid all the marks on my body. Out of sight out of mind. Gone were the scars on my wrists from when the bangle cuffs had constantly dug into my skin. As well as the mate mark that he has torn open so many times that the side of my neck, past my collarbone and shoulder is one big scar. Those are the only ones I can’t rid myself of.

The bruises on my neck and body from the rough s*x of last night will at least fade away by tomorrow. It’s like he intentionally marked my body up for everyone to see. I have hand prints on my neck and my hips as he held onto me while slamming into me. Marks of dominance he calls them. It isn’t the first time I’ve had them, but hopefully the last time.

I walked over to my bathroom mirror to look myself over before I had to leave. I looked into my sad blue eyes. My broken eyes as my conversation with Alicia replayed in my head. I was frozen in the mirror. It took me a while to get a grip of myself. I looked in the mirror to see tears pooling in my eyes.

“No!” I said strictly to myself, that I would not be doing this. I will not let the darkness take over me. I have come so far without breaking and I will make it through this weekend. I put on my nude strap heels and made my way over to the pack house. The heels were comfortable with a thick heel since I would be standing all day. Some of the Alphas will be staying in Rowan's pack house in the guest bedrooms and others will be staying in the actual pack houses where most of the pack lives.

Rowan's house is for the Alpha and Luna. It also has a meeting hall, a big dining room and all the offices. Then two large pack houses are for all the pack members that are still unmated. The ones that do mate want privacy so they buy one of the houses that are available on the pack grounds. There are a lot of houses of different sizes. It’s like a complete neighbourhood all on its own.

It’s just another way the pack makes money. A newly mated couple makes an offer on a house and they basically rent it. They never own it as it is pack property, but it is like buying since they only have to pay it off for a certain amount of time. I made it to the packhouse to see Rowan waiting for me at the door. I kept my fake smile on as I approached him. I saw all my volunteers hanging around near the house, but all of them made sure to keep their distance from him.

“Rowan.” I greeted him. When we are in public and no one is around he is ‘Master’. When people are around he is ‘Rowan’ and when we are completely alone he is ‘My Love’

“I see you didn’t listen to me. So this is your grand idea to impress the Alpha’s? It is ridiculous. You will be punished for going against my wishes and I swear if you embarrass me today you will really regret it.” My body turned cold at his words. As he said it a smile appeared on his face. I kept my smile pretending like nothing was wrong and that we were just having a casual conversation.

“Trust me they will appreciate this a lot more. There is more than enough time this weekend to show them how rich you are. Everything will be dripping in opulence. First, we need to make them feel welcome and relaxed.” I explained to him.

“You better be right!” He sneered in my face not keeping up with appearances. When he does things like that it is hard to go on pretending like everything is okay, especially if a bunch of people see his behavior. He got closer to me. His body pressed up against mine. I didn’t take a step back. He leaned in right next to my ear.

“I forgot to tell you something, well not forget…I have been holding on to this for just the right moment.” I knew whatever he was going to say would be bad. I tried my best to mentally prepare myself. I can’t react to what he says. I can't give him the satisfaction.

“I bet you were excited to see your old Alpha and Luna. I know just how excited you are that your time here is up and that you can go home, but unfortunately for you, you don’t have a home anymore. Your pack was attacked by a conqueror. He took over the pack. Your Alpha and Luna aren’t there anymore. He at least let them live…as rouges that is. Your parents also disappeared. I have no idea where they are. I guess you have a choice to make after this event. You could stay here and be Aceline’s assistant or you can become a rogue. I’ll leave the choice to you.” My heart shattered. Everything I held on to that kept me sane disappeared as he uttered those words. I have nothing left. It is all gone. The idea of finally going home. Being back in my pack where I could feel safe and be loved.

The idea of finally being with Sander and starting our lives together, but most importantly finally meeting my son again is gone. It all vanished with those uttered words and that is how much power he has over me. My son is already almost two. I’ve wondered about him so much. I wondered if he was told about me or if he thought my parents were his mom and dad. I know they were going to say that he was a baby that they adopted. Everyone in the pack would have thought that they were his adoptive parents.

Then when I showed up I would have taken him in and raised him as my own. Hiding an alphas child is a crime. No one could ever know. While I was lost in my thoughts he stormed off to his car. He was spending the day with Aceline at their place. I couldn’t care less about him. I also didn’t have the time to plummet down into a depression over the news. I would have to do that tonight when I find a moment alone. As long as he is out of my hair. I gestured for my volunteers to come closer. It was once again a bunch of high school students. They were eager to volunteer because being a part of the Alpha’s ball was an honour. For someone to be in a ballroom with so many powerful people and be able to tell stories about it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Instead of champagne, I had ordered a bunch of water, soft drinks and juices. All bottled. The last thing I would want is to get out of a car and have to walk around with a glass in my hand as I am being shown around. It’s impractical and having to go from room to room to get the glasses back is even more impractical. They won’t want to be bothered. They will want to rest and prepare for dinner. I checked that everything was ready and then we waited. We were at the back door of the pack house that looks towards a large open space where the stage usually is. This is where all of the cars will be directed to park. There just isn’t enough space in the front of the pack house.

We weren’t waiting long before the first car drove up. Which I was grateful for. I had been standing alone trying to fight away the depressing thoughts that were popping up in my head while the kids were in groups talking to their friends about the excitement of the day.

None of them are willing to come up to talk to me. No one ever talks to me. My life in this pack is very isolating. Everyone is too afraid of what Rowan would do to them if they did talk to me. The Alpha and his mate got out of their car after parking on the grass. Another car came driving in with what I assumed was their betas.

I familiarised myself with all the Alphas. So that I could greet them personally. I also emailed them the itinerary so that they knew what to expect.

“Hello and welcome to Lupus Nobilitatis, Alpha Jaxon.” I greeted the Alpha as arrived at the door.

“I hope you had a pleasant drive over here. Could I offer you some water, juice or a soft drink?” I said smiling brightly at him and his Luna.

“Could I have water, please. I am so thirsty.” His Luna said smiling back at me. One of the kids handed her water immediately.

“Where is the Alpha?” Alpha Jaxon growled at me. I knew that this would be their reaction, but Rowan never listened to me.

“Unfortunately something came up at the University that required his attention. He regrets not being here to personally greet you, but he will be at the dinner tonight.” I spewed out the lie I had prepared to save face.

“And who are you?” He asked not impressed, but he was a bit less hostile. Everyone knows that the university is Lupus Nobilitatis priority.

“My name is Dilara. I am the interim Luna for the pack. If you need anything I am here to assist you and make your stay here as comfortable as possible.” he only nodded at me watching me carefully. I motioned for a pair of volunteers to come closer.

“She will be showing you to your room and he will be bringing your luggage up for you. If you need anything please let us know.” He didn’t say anything. He just started to follow the girl as the boy went to get their things from the car. I made sure that there was a light lunch in each room just in case they were hungry as well. The rest of my day went pretty much the same. Some of the Alphas were outraged at Rowan's nerve and some didn’t even care to ask, but everything was going smoothly. Which I was grateful for.