Mr. (Almost) Right

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

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ELLA TAPPED HER FOOT nervously. She wasn’t entirely satisfied with herself. She disliked how she had handled the break up with Colin. She had made a mistake showing too much emotion, and that thought bothered her. However, she had already done it, and she couldn't change anything. She shrugged and looked around.

Her eyes fell on the shards scattered all over her living-room carpet. With a sigh, she started picking them up.

'Oh, God, how many times have I done this? Stupid, stupid cow!' It had taken her too much time to learn her lesson.

Ella shook her head in dismay. She couldn’t believe that she had been so blind for such a long time. A week is one thing. All right maybe even a month or two, but not so many months. That wasn’t acceptable.

She could feel a sort of constriction in her throat, and she feared that she would start crying if she had tried to clear it. Colin and Ella had been together for over three years now, the two of them. So three years went down the drain that evening, and only because she had kept her mind in a cloud.

Ella didn’t regret that she had shown Colin to the door, but she did regret that she had wasted three years of her life with that selfish jackass.

Colin had just taken her for granted. And why wouldn’t he? She was always there, faithfully waiting, whenever he came back to her.

Ella would express her feelings, and quite strongly sometimes. That was true. But then, it wasn’t as if he had cared that she would scream like a banshee or throw dishes, aiming at his head.

And the clock was still ticking. And here she was, almost thirty-seven, childless and husbandless.

‘Ugh. Ella threw the slivers in the garbage bin and remained standing there, her fists on her hips, looking out of the kitchen window. She didn’t see anything but just stared into space.

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind. Ella hesitated for only one second, and then, brimming with anxiety, she ran to the phone and started dialling Joan’s number.

Ella and Jo had known each other for ages, even though they weren’t very close. Sometimes being different could do that to people.

“Hi, Jo, it’s me, Ella. What are you doing tonight?” she asked in a cheery tone of voice.

“Hi,” Jo said hesitantly, and then, a long pause ensued.

Ella didn’t blame Jo for being circumspect. She might have had a bone to pick up with Jo now and then, but she couldn’t be unfair.

Her call had come like a thunderbolt to poor Jo. Ella hadn’t called her friend for ages to ask about her evening. She had failed in being a good friend, but she had her reasons.

“I ... don’t know,” Jo’s reply came with some hesitation.

“No plans?” Ella asked, always with enthusiasm in her voice.

Another pause followed, and Ella recalled that Jo was a bit slow when someone surprised her. That was one of the reasons she didn’t like to call Jo. She had other reasons, but that one topped the list.

Now Ella needed Jo, though, so she patiently waited for Jo’s reply. Jo liked well-thought plans. She didn’t like doing anything on the spur of the moment. If someone asked her to make plans for earlier than three days, she would overthink those plans and the person’s reasons for eons.

“Why are you asking?” Jo asked after a while.

“Well, I've been thinking, you know. We should go out to a bar or something,” Ella chimed in, happy like a magpie.

She had to act like that. Otherwise, she would cry her eyes out, thinking of how stupid she had been, and that wouldn’t do. Nothing would make Jo balk faster than someone crying. Ella understood Jo’s motives. Both Ella and Jo had problems when it came to comforting someone. Neither one knew what to say or how to react in such circumstances.

‘Yep, another pause,’ Ella mused.

Jo took her time to dissect the sudden invitation. Ella decided to wait patiently, although she felt a sharp pain in her arm. It wasn’t comfortable to hold the phone in the same position for so long.

Ella enjoyed brief and efficient phone conversations. If she wanted to linger over a discussion, she would do it in a place where she could have some coffee or whiskey.

She wasn’t one of the fans of that beautiful invention, the phone. Her phone calls didn’t go over three minutes and that only if she had to talk to her mother, who wouldn’t accept anything less and would call her on that.

“But what about Colin?” Jo asked with hesitation. She sounded as if she feared asking the wrong question or hearing the answer, and Ella understood Jo's reaction too well.

It wasn’t a mystery, after all. Jo wasn't one of Colin's supporters, and she had never made a secret about it. Everyone knew that.

Anyway, Jo wasn’t the only one who couldn't stand Colin. The Colin anti-fan club was large enough. If Ella thought better, no one among her family or friends rooted for Colin, but her mother.

‘The piece of... Okay, not now.’

Ella needed to take care of some more pressing things right then, and she couldn’t enjoy trashing Colin. She had to persuade Jo that he wouldn’t bother them ever again, and they could have fun together.

If she failed, her plans would follow the route of her broken relationship. They would also go right down the drain.

“You shouldn't worry about that, Jo. Colin’s got his ticket,” she assured her friend, always in that joyful tone of voice that sounded slightly artificial in her ears and left her with a sour taste in her mouth. Nevertheless, she crossed her fingers, hoping that Jo would buy it.

“What kind of ticket?” Jo asked with bafflement, and Ella could imagine her wide, shocked eyes. Her friend’s voice revealed Jo’s bewilderment.

“I meant that I broke up with him for good, Jo. Now, I want to go on a hunt, and you’re my wingman or girl or whatever!” Ella shouted cheerily. For a moment there, she could imagine Jo cringe. Of course, another pause followed in their conversation.

‘Come on, Jo, live up a little, girl! Maybe we can go out before we’re fifty. At least, that was my plan,’ Ella thought.

“What do you want to hunt?” another hesitant answer came, and Ella felt like grinding her teeth.

Jo needed to go out more and mingle with people more often. She didn't have any imagination and never understood a metaphor.

“A man, Jo. What the heck else? I want to hunt a man. A regular man to have children with,” Ella shouted, forgetting that she needed to be tactful to make Jo cooperate with her plans and go out with her.

She had talked too fast, so Ella had to stop and breathe. That helped her to reconsider her prickly attitude, and she promised herself to show more patience. After all, Jo didn’t have anything to do with the fact that Ella’s plans for the future had crumbled.

Now Jo decided to chime in. “Now? You want to make children now?”

“No, you... you, Jo!” Ella spluttered, unable to find her words. She forgot everything about tact and patience.

“Not now, like in right now. It’s not like I’m going to a guy and say: ‘Make me a child or more if possible’!” she practically shouted, losing the last threads of patience she had.

Jo could drive her mad with just a few words. That never changed.

“But I want to find a man with whom I could have children. Let’s say sometime next year,” she continued in a more reasonable tone of voice.

“Oh, I see. I see. And what can I do?” Jo asked her.

“I don’t know!” Ella shouted and thought stupid, stupid, stupid. “I suppose you could come with me to a singles bar. That would be a start in my hunt.”

Pause at the other end of the line, of course, what else. That pain in Ella's arm became sharper, and Ella mentally sent an arrow in Jo’s direction. She visualized it, piercing Jo straight through her heart. No, better through her brain. Jo’s heart was in the right place most of the time. Her friend's brain caused the damn problem.

“All right, Ella. When?” Jo finally accepted her friend’s invitation.

‘Next century, you dummy!’ Ella thought unkindly. Nevertheless, she replied sweetly, “Tonight. I’ll come and get you at eight, okay?”

“I suppose,” Jo hesitated.

‘Damn, she’s slow!’ Ella thought. However, she knew that Jo’s hesitance wasn’t about being slow but unsure.

“Okay, eight it is. See you, girl. Bye!” Ella spoke fast so that Jo wouldn’t have the time to reconsider anything.

Ella hurried to disconnect the call. She was exhausted. Throwing plates was not easy work. Throwing your boyfriend – all right, ex-boyfriend, out of the house, wasn't easy either. Talking to Jo – well, that would try even a saint.