My Laughable Fate

8. I feel used

LEIA POV

NEXT DAY

I like a firm mattress. I couldn’t help thinking about that as I tried to bury my face deeper, but stopped when I felt way too much resistance. This mattress is beyond firm, it has… muscles? Two large hands that had been resting on my ass squeezed my cheeks. “Herc!” I squealed and we both shot up. His long dark hair was messy, but he went into full warrior mode, fighting stance and all.

“Calm down! No one is attacking us. If anything, your pervy hands were attacking me!” I accused, even though it felt kind of good. “You’re the one who jumped into my arms last night so that we could cuddle.” His usual hard stare turned into a goofy grin. “You’re an ass. Go get ready, we have PT in an hour.” Because I couldn’t argue the cuddling away, he kept the stupid grin until he was gone.

“That has never happened before.” I muttered to Sian as I hurried into the shower. “Getting drunk and passing out? Really? You’ve never done that?” She scoffed. “No, you dolt. I’ve never cuddled with anyone, sober or drunk.” She knew that, but she was acting nonchalant about it. “I didn’t even get any s*x out of it, I feel used.” Emotionally used, double eewww.

“Maybe you were using him.” Sian was telling tales now. “If I was going to use a wolf like Herc, he would not have been able to get up so nimbly this morning.” Cuddling was not my idea of a good time. At least not usually. I’m surprised that I didn’t feel his arms around me or his body under me. I would think that sleeping on top of someone, something I’ve never done, would feel awkward.

It seemed Herc’s big muscles somehow turned into fluffy pillows that molded me perfectly. All that meant was that I’d be more inclined to reward him with cuddles after s*x. If he wasn’t my subordinate. Even if it didn’t feel like he was. Shaking my head, I removed those lustful thoughts. Playing drinking games with my second in command is one thing, but scratching each other's itches would be going too far.

I can't believe I'm actually thinking about s*x with another wolf right now. I just found my i***t mate who took a chosen before even meeting me and has clearly decided to stick to his decision. All of that while I'm stuck here doing my job for the were army s***h council. That was worth reminding myself since I was getting side tracked in every direction. First Paul and now... No, that's stupid.

I don’t owe anything to Alpha Paul, I’m not tied to him, and it seems he wants to keep it that way. If Herc wasn’t my second in command, I could do all the nasty, dirty and hopefully legal things I'd caught myself dreaming up. “Not until we talk to our mate.” Sian asserted. “Don’t worry, mi Lobita (my shwolf). He's off limits and there are hardly any wolves that I’m allowed to touch in this pack worth shaving for.” Not that I was currently in the mood.

When I finished showering and getting ready, I left my cabin. It was still dark out at five am. I was ready for PT and all of my warriors were likely heading for the training area. When I got to the training field, the Alpha was sitting on a bench at the side of the field. He looked like he had never been up this early. Is that drool on his chin?

Focus Leia, pretend he isn't there. It was time to get started anyway, no reason to waste any more of our valuable time. The Packs morning training starts in two hours, and we needed to be warmed up by the time things really got interesting. Today is the day that we get to see how Dark Mist performs as a pack. Maybe I'll even find a few shining stars that can brighten up my day.

When I reached the center training field, most of my warriors were already there. A few stragglers came sprinting up to us and tried to avoid my glare. Early is on time, on time is late and don't bother showing up any time after that. My dad instilled all the structure and discipline that my naughty mamasita insisted was his job to teach me.

Now that we were all here, Herc and Julius began to strategizing how they would split up the pack’s warriors. Where the more advanced warriors would be tested and ranked. Once we had the field split up in sections and every warrior was given his job, we did our morning run. We also did our normal training that included burpees, squats, planks and every torturesice known to wolf kind. Then the fun started, sparing.

By the time I had my legs wrapped around Herc’s throat from behind, the sun was out, and I was feeling so much better. Even if he refused to tap out. Most of the time, because of his size, he was able to subdue me quicker than I liked. But if I’m quick enough, I can get him into a position where I’m stronger. You would think he would tap out to regain air flow, but no.

My things clenched down a little too tightly and Herc pinched my thigh. Still refusing to tap out. That hadn’t been the reason I tightened my grip, but it would have been a happy coincidence if it had worked. “Master Sargeant Leia! My warriors are ready.” His voice was so cold it sent a chill down my spine. Even though I couldn’t see him from my position, I felt his eyes on my back as he approached.

I loosened the grip my thighs had around Herc’s neck, and he took in a deep breath. Turning my head, I saw Paul’s dark eyes on Herc’s hand. It was sliding down my leg as I removed it, so I could get to my feet. “Have your men run ten laps. We’ll be done by then.” I spoke and then turned away from him. He will approach me if he wants to talk to me. I’m not giving him anything for free.

There were a lot of awkward glances and whispered words from both of our warriors that happened to catch our cold exchange before the Alpha spoke. “Ten miles, now.” He barked and the fifty or so warriors that had shown up with him took off. “Get Julius and prepare for when they get back.” I told Herc, who was back to eyeing me suspiciously. Was I really that bad at hiding my emotions?

My entire team began to walk away, each of them had a different task and were getting into position. We were used to being efficient and today wasn't any different. “Sargeant Master Leia. I’d like to have a word with you about… about this process.” He lacked the ability to sound sincere when he wasn’t, so I could tell he had no interest in the “process". Like most, they were only interested in the benefits.

Why was he pretending to care if I hadn’t given him a reason to? Usually, Alpha’s start caring when I start exposing their weaknesses. “Everything was explained to you and your father before I arrived. Assessments will be made and then a detailed list of the next steps will be prepared. The process at this moment is to wait for that to happen. If there isn’t anything else, I’m very busy.” But there won’t be anything else, will there?

I wiped the sweat off my face with my towel and picked up my water bottle. Didn’t even spare him a glance as I turned and walked away. “How is this resolving anything? We are walking away from the one person we need to talk to!” Sian growled at me. “He’s not ready to talk.” It was about more than him approaching me. There was a huge elephant in the room that he brought with him.

“Leia!” I was a little stunned to hear my name come out of his lips without my title preceding it. The hint of desperation in it ignited a microscopic spark of hope. Hope that was dangerous if false. My steps faltered, and I’m pissed to admit that I froze for a second before I composed myself. “It's Master Sergeant Leia, Alpha Paul. We don’t know each other well enough to be on a first name basis.” He needed to earn that.

Even though I didn’t turn around, I could hear his perfect white teeth grinding together. “Everything okay boss?” Herc asked as he approached me, but his eyes were trained on Alpha Paul, who was now a few yards behind me. “Perfect. Is everyone ready? I want every wolf who thinks he’s worthy of calling himself a warrior to earn that title on this very field.” Otherwise, what’s the point?

What’s the point of calling yourself a pack member if you’re not committed to your pack? Or a Luna if you don’t see every member as yours to guide and nurture like a mother. A warrior if you’re not prepared to defend your Alpha, the pack and its members with your life. There is no phoning it in when you’re a warrior. I mean you can, but you’ll probably have a very short career.

The first day assessing a pack’s capability is important. I can’t let the fact that he’s sitting in the shade watching us instead of joining us further irritate and distract me. I’m not sure why that really bothers me, but it does. There were a few Alphas in the South who joined in, and it made the “process” much easier. Made the warriors more willing to accept doing things… differently. f**k that, correctly.

“I think he would have joined us if you hadn’t been so rude to him.” Sian said thoughtfully. Julius and Herc began to demonstrate a few basic moves they wanted each warrior to demonstrate on one of them. Then they asked me to help demonstrate how a smaller wolf would accomplish the same move.” A few shewolf hopefuls had shown up, and I was excited to see how many of them could make it.

Many of the warriors here were considered warriors by Dark Mist and their Alpha. I was here to determine if they were up to muster or not. There were also a few wolves who wanted to see if they were destined to be warriors. A slight rush of adrenaline went through me as I stepped onto the mat, and I was me again. Not Leia, whose mate is a douche. Just warrior Leia.

I stood in front of Herc, so that he could “attack” me. One of his arms reached out and grabbed my neck. I ducked and took hold of his arm, twisting around his back before kicking his legs out from under him. He fell to the ground with a thud. Basic and easy. “Everyone here should be able to replicate that move in two hours. Get to work.” I instructed, and patted Herc's arm, causing dust to fly around.

I heard grumbling and footsteps but didn’t acknowledge the owner of the sounds. “He can clean himself.” Alpha Paul growled as he passed us. “What?” Herc furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Paul’s back as he walked away. “I think he’s one of those germaphobes. Seeing you all dusty must have offended him or something.” I shrugged. What was his problem?