Learning to Love the Spinster

Chapter 9

Simon felt lower than a snake at that moment; he couldn’t believe that some one told her. Simon couldn’t hold her gaze; he lowered his head in shame. Simon thought that saying that to his friends was horrid, but now knowing the words came back to her, he didn’t know how he’d make it up to her. “Who told you?” he asked quietly.

“No one told me.” He looked up at her with a questioning look, “I was headed to the gardens when I heard my name mentioned.”

‘Bloody Hell,’ he thought, she had to listen to herself talked about in that way.

“I was foolishly excited to hear what was said about me, and then you said what you said.” Flip stopped talking, and Simon looked up to her, her face was one of pain and hurt. Simon didn’t know what to say, he behaved like a complete ass, and he had hurt her deeply. How she still talked to him afterward was beyond his understanding.

“It’s ok your grace, it took me awhile to realize you weren’t saying anything that wasn’t true. I’m only telling you this so you will stop lying to me about my appearance, I know I’m plain and too plump, especially now.” She put her hand on top of her swollen belly a motherly gesture that swelled his heart, she was going to be a wonderful mother, and wife. “My answer remains the same I will not marry you, as I have vowed to marry no man for any reason other than love.”

“But we could learn to love on another,” Simon put in, not sure what to say to her. Flip gave a small sad smile and stated,

“No we wouldn’t, a man like you could never love a woman like me. You may think you will be content with a mistress, but you may find a woman whom you fall in love with. Then you will become angry and resentful toward me and your child, and that’s something I can’t allow to happen.”

“I would never resent you, or our child!” he couldn’t believe she would say these things to him, to believe that he would treat her that way.

“So you would be content with your mistress then?” Flip had asked him.

“You shouldn’t be talking about such things,” Simon replied stuffily. Simon may have planted his seed in her belly, but he had never heard her talk about such things.

“Well I would never be content with a man taking another woman to his bed,” Philipa said matter of factly. Simon was growing uncomfortable with the conversation, even when he realized he must marry Philipa, he never gave thought to married life. Simon figured he would do the same as his parents, he would have a mistress and she could enjoy herself with whomever she choose to.

However, looking at Philipa and imaging another man’s hands on her filled him with jealousy, something he had never felt before. Simon didn’t like the thought of Sheffield with her before he knew Flip was going to be his bride, now it sent hot rage throughout his body at any other man touching her. It didn’t make sense, yes she was carrying his child, and would soon be his bride but he never thought he would feel possessive of her.

“Why won’t you give me a chance?” Simon asked her. Flip remained silent, so he pushed his luck. “I know I have been horrid to you, you have no idea how ashamed I am knowing that my cruel words hurt you. The only thing I want to do is protect and care for you. I will not lie and say words of love to you, but I care for you a great deal.” He saw Flip’s eyes tear up, and he felt her hurt if was his own.

“You care for me the way Jack does,” Philipa stated with a catch in her voice.

“Not anymore, I used to think of you as my sister, but ever since our joining I have started to see you in a new light. I know it’s hard to believe, Lord knows I fought it, I fought seeing you as a woman, not as a little girl. You remember my moment of weakness in York?” He saw Philipa blush and was embolden by it.

“Since that day I’ve done nothing but think of you, in every way. I worried if you made it through horrible weather, I wondered if you were lonely where ever you were. I dreamt of your lush body, of what it would be like to join with you, if you would exceed my expectations, and experiences. My body knew it was you, even though my mind didn’t.” Flip stood there frozen by his speech, and he moved a step closer to her.

“You thought of me?” Flip asked and bit her lip. He inwardly groaned as he felt a twitch in his c**k at the action. Simon took a tentative step forward,

“Yes.”

“Every day?”

“Yes sweetheart, every day.” Simon took another step toward her. He didn’t want to touch her yet, he didn’t want to break the spell.

“You thought of me, or your widow?” Flip asked him brokenly.

“Both,” Simon took another step and hauled her into his arms.

Flip could hold her tears in no longer, she cried out her relief and anxiety. Simon thought of her, she didn’t care if it was a lie. She was so relieved to know that he thought of her, she doubted it was as much as she thought of him. However, that fact seemed irrelevant now.

“Sweet, please don’t cry, it tears my heart seeing you this upset.” Flip couldn’t help but cry harder when he called her an endearment. “What can I do?”

“I need your word on something,” Flip asked whenever her tears abated.

“Anything sweetheart.”

“No mistress, I will marry you if you promise not to ever have a mistress.”

“I promise,” Simon swore without hesitation. “You are all that I want,” Simon said and since he could stand it no more he leaned down and kissed her. Their kiss was one of passion, of heat. Simon slanted his mouth over hers again, and again. Simon put his hand to her breast, when she moaned out her pleasure Simon started to move down. Simon was abruptly stopped when he felt something move on her stomach. Simon jumped back and asked,

“Is that normal?” Flip giggled,

“Of course its normal, your son has missed you.” Flip still smiled at his doubtful face.

“Are you sure? Maybe we should call for a doctor,” Simon stated worriedly. Flip smiled and grabbed his hand which she promptly put again where the babe was kicking her.

“It is perfectly normal, it would be abnormal if the babe didn’t move,” Simon relaxed at hearing this, and began to enjoy feeling his child move within the womb. Good Lord, I’m going to be a father, what if I screw that up too. Flip saw the panic in his face.

“Simon what is it?”

“I Don’t know nothing about being at father, what if I screw it up?” Flip smiled, and he saw her physically relax. Flip must of thought that he was panicking about marrying her.

“Simon what do I know of children? But I already love our child and am willing to do whatever it takes to be a good mother.” Simon smiled,

“Philipa you are one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever known, you are going to be an amazing mother.” Flip practically beamed at him.

“Thank you Simon….Oh no!”

“What? What’s wrong?” Simon asked concerned about the panic he saw on her face.

“What are we going to do? Jack is going to be here tomorrow.”

“Bloody hell I forgot about that, well sweetheart what do you suggest we do?” Simon asked.

“Well Anna is already packing my things,” Philipa trailed off.

“So you want to go to Gretna Green?”

“Is it too late to leave today?”

“Its never too late,” Simon said as he grabbed her hand and started off to the house.

Philipa still couldn’t believe that she and Simon were on their way to get married. It made her so happy, she thought she was going to be doomed to live her whole life as a lie. Philipa looked at her soon to be husband and could only hope that Simon would be able to learn to love her. Philips knew when Simon gave his word he would honor it, she knew that he would never take a mistress. This isn’t what she wanted for herself, to marry a man who didn’t love her. However, she loved him and there was really no choice. She rubber her stomach and thought of the babe that was on the way. They had to do their best for their child. That was the only option available now.

“We will only be able to ride a few hours before nightfall, I don’t want to travel through the night, it will be too hard on you and the babe.” Simon said and Flip smiled at his thoughtfulness.

“I appreciate that Simon,” Philipa watched Simon sit across from her and an overpowering feeling of loneliness set in, she wanted to sit next to him. Philipathought she should see if she could get her way with subtle suggestions.

“Simon I’m dreadfully cold all of a sudden,” Philipa said in what she thought was a plaintive voice.

“There should be a blanket around her somewhere…Ahh here you go,” Simon said and covered her with the blanket.

‘What an utter clod,’ she thought to herself.

“I’m still cold Simon,” Philipa tried again.

“Well sweet I don’t think there are any blankets left, do you want my jacket?” He asked. Philipa gave and exasperated sigh. Simon really didn’t get subtly did he? She’d have to be more blunt.

“No Simon I don’t want your jacket I want you to sit next to me,” Philipa practically shouted. Simon let out a small blasphemy before he quickly seated himself next to her and pulled her into her arms.

“I really am a dolt aren’t I?” Simon asked. Even though he wasn’t expecting a reply, she couldn’t help but say,

“Most defiantly.” Simon gave her a stern look, but that softened and she leaned into him, waiting for a kiss. Simon didn’t hesitate to kiss her thoroughly. Philipa hadn’t felt more alive in her whole life. Simon was kissing her, knowing full well who she was. Simon abruptly pulled away from her. Philipa looked up at him confused.

“We must stop this,” Simon said his voice a little husky. Philipa leaned up to him and asked,

“Why?” Simon pulled back and stated,

“Because of the babe, I don’t want to hurt you or the babe.” Philipa reddened and remembered the midwife saying after six months she should stop any relations with the father. At the time Flip thought that was the last of her worries, now she wished things were different.

“Yes I was warned not to indulge myself in the way you are referring,” Philipa looked down at the bulge in Simon’s trousers.

“Is there nothing I can do for you? To make you less…frustrated,” Philipa searched for the right word to use. She couldn’t help but feel awkward and shy. Flip was determined to try and please Simon.

‘Holy bloody hell!’ Simon thought to himself, how was he going to survive this? He grew more aroused at the thought of her stroking his c**k again, even putting it in her mouth.

“Here let me help you,” Philipa said and reached for his trousers. Philipa slowly unbuttoned him, and his erection sprang free.

“Oh my, you are bigger than I remember,” Philipa said in a small voice, then grabbed his c**k.

“That’s what seven months of celibacy does to a man,” Simon stated in a groan. Good Lord what she was doing to his c**k was miraculous. Then he felt her stop stroking him, and he looked at her.

“What’s wrong sweet?”

“Nothing,” Philipa replied and started stroking him again.

‘I’ll ask her later,’ he thought and pulled her to him for a passionate kiss, while she stroked his c**k.

“Faster….oh yes grip me stronger,” Simon said pulling away from her mouth long enough to instruct her and pulled her back to him. Philipa gripped his c.ock with a little more strength and started to go faster. Simon groaned, he pulled away from her lips and looked at her face. Philipa was so beautiful, swept up in her passions he had never seen her look so happy. He fumbled around for a handkerchief as he felt his climax approach. He found it just in time, and spilled himself in between their enclosed hands.

Simon was still recovering from his amazing climax, when he looked over at Flip and saw her smiling at him. Simon picked her up by the waist and sat her in his lap.

“Simon, I’m so large I will crush you,” Flip said with a smile.

“You could never do that to me sweet,” Simon replied and brought his hand to her face. Flip smiled and put her hand over his. Simon had never felt more happy and at peace with himself than he did at this moment.

Flip moved to put her head on his shoulder, and she sighed with contentment. Simon smiled in reaction to her happiness. The two of them sat like that for what seemed like minutes, though in reality it was a few hours.

As the carriage came upon the town they would be resting at, Simon thought of the look Flip had given earlier.

“Sweeting, what was wrong earlier?” Flip sat up from his shoulder, and he frowned at her not being as close to him.

“What do you mean?”

“When you started touching me, you gave me this look, is everything all right?” Flip hugged him and said,

“Everything is just perfect.” Flip couldn’t believe that Simon hadn’t slept with anyone since they had made the baby. She thought it was a great sign toward their future.

“Well I can’t argue with that,” Simon replied hugging her back enjoying the feel of her in his arms.

Simon had to get them checked into the inn before he could get his heavily pregnant fiancée a bed for the night.