Learning to Love the Spinster

Chapter 5

“Will this torture never end?” She thought to herself. Philipa had finally started to get a pattern set when her brother and Simon showed up and declared there will be a house party.

Philipa was furthered dismayed when she found out that it would be over two weeks long. How was she going to endure Simon’s presence for that long? She left so she didn’t have to deal with her humiliation every time Simon looked at her.

In the past week Philipa had finally started to heal. When she first came to York she never left her room. Philipa slept most of the day and night. When she was sleeping she was crying. Philipa finally left her room several days later. Philipa would go for walks around the estate. She saw how hard the servants lifes were.

Philipa felt ashamed. When she talked to some of wives of the tenants and said that they went without food so their children could have full bellies. How if their husbands die the woman have to take care of their children as well as scramble to find a source of income. If their husbands are injured they have to work the land, take care of the kids, and feed everyone.

Flip’s problems were insignificant in comparison. Philipa decided that she needed to stop feeling sorry for herself and help these people. She started delivering food to the women, and went through all of the old clothes of her and her brothers. Philipa spent most of her day with the tenants and worked in the gardens until the sun disappeared into the night sky. The hard work was cathartic for her, it gave her a sense of purpose she never had before. Flip never thought she was spoiled, but she knew how wrong she was.

The only time she cried anymore was at night, when she couldn’t sleep. Philipa thought of the wives and children she helped. She cried herself to sleep over her loss of being able to be a wife and mother. Philipa’s progress was torn to pieces the second she saw Simon and Jack enter the salon. Philipa was so happy and furious at the same time. She was glad to see her brother and Simon as well. She was furious that Simon didn’t realize what had happened between them. Philipa was heartbroken that Simon would never be able to reciprocate her feelings of love.

The first week was easy to avoid the gay house party happening below her. The day after her brother and Simon arrived she pretended to have a cold. Philipa loved her maid Anna to death but she so glad she was off visiting relatives. Philipa would never have been able to fool Anna. Anna knew when Philipa was sick, or simply pretending.

Philipa was able to stay in her room for most of the week, undisturbed. However, her brother kept checking in on her, asking how she was faring and if she was recovering. She stated that she was getting better each day. However, the opposite was true; she woke up sick to her stomach almost every day. Philipa was so distraught over Simon that it was literally making her sick. The nausea would go away later in the day, as if it never came.

The second week Jack made her come down for breakfast; he said she needed some fresh air to feel better. Philipa’s stomach was still queasy when she entered the dining hall. Philipa took lighter fare, as to not further upset her stomach. Philipa sat down at her seat and looked around at the guests. Philipa didn’t know until then who Jack’s guests were. Philipa recognized Jack’s friends, and their wives. However, the women in varying colors of grieving she didn’t really know. Philipa recognized Lady Langston as she has been out in society for the last season due to her grieving period for her husband. Philipa almost dropped her fork when it dawned on her. Simon was looking for her! He was looking for his mistress! She had to leave this place, and leave now before she murdered Simon for his ignorance. She left the table and started up the stairs, she groaned aloud when she saw Simon coming down the stairs.

“Good morning Flip, how are you feeling?” Simon asked her with brotherly concern in his eyes. Philipa wanted to murder him!

“I’m doing much better, thank you for asking,” she smiled and started to go past him. However, Simon grabbed her hand, and she instinctively pulled away from his touch. Simon’s simple touch was anything but simple as it made her lightheaded.

“I’m sorry I meant no offense, just wanted to talk,” he replied a little affronted that she had reacted to him this way. Flip felt bad, then she was mad that he made her feel bad. Only this man could make her feel this mess of emotions.

“No I’m sorry, I was surprised. What is it that you wanted to talk about?” She asked him, and suddenly felt queasy. Philipa put her hand to her stomach in hopes it would settle.

“Are you all right Philipa? You look very pale,” Simon said taking a step closer, which turned out to be a good thing when she suddenly pitched forward. Simon grabbed her, and lifted her into his arms.

God she fainted and she looked so damn pale. Simon carried her to her room, and bade for a cool cloth and to fetch her brother. Simon opened her door, and set her down gently on the bed. The maid quickly came back with water and a cloth. Simon didn’t leave, but he took the stuff she was carrying and dismissed her. The maid looked scandalized, but she left in a huff. Simon dipped the cloth in cool water, and put it to her forehead.

Simon became a little concerned when she didn’t awaken right away, but he continued to wipe her face, then her neck. He looked longingly at her breasts and continued lower until he was cooling off the mounds of her breasts. He was doing so when he heard a moan.

He thought that was himself, as he had never seen a more lovely pair of breasts, then she moved. Simon was pulled away from his lustful thoughts when he looked and saw she had opened her eyes. Simon was taken aback by the longing in her eyes; he continued his cooling her down even though it was clear she wasn’t in need of it.

Simon looked into her eyes as he moved the cloth further down, almost to the tips of her breast. If he was not a more controlled man he would have bedded her right then and there when she responded to his ministrations with passion in her eyes. Philipa had bit her lip, an action that his c**k thoroughly enjoyed. Simon couldn’t believe it; no woman had got this kind of response from him since he spent that glorious night in his widow’s arms. He couldn’t believe that it was his best friend’s sister that made him feel with way. The woman he had known all of his life, who had never given him any lustful thoughts, and here he was rock hard. Simon looked away from Philipa, in an attempt to lessen his desire for her which was starting to work until he heard her moan slightly. Good lord she was going to drive a man insane with her throaty moans, he started wishing it was him.

Simon literally shook himself; he was acting like a moonstruck calf over a pair of breasts and a few moans, which came from his friend. That thought sobered him, he put the cloth on the stand, and with his eyes still glued at the far wall asked,

“How are you feeling?”

Philipa didn’t have time to reply for Simon quickly stood when he heard Jack’s footsteps coming this way. Jack opened the door without knocking, and demanded,

“What the bloody hell happened?” Simon looked at Flip and saw as her face changed from excitement to dismay as her brother walked in the door.

“Jack!” she exclaimed and quickly sat up, then put her hand to her forehead. Simon started to go to her, but Jack beat him to her bedside. Jack laid her back down and asked more quietly,

“What happened sis?” Jack’s face was filled with brotherly love and affection. Flip looked at Jack then him and said,

“I don’t know, one minute I was on the stairs talking to Simon, the next I woke up in my bed.” Jack nodded, and then looked to him for an explanation.

“She fainted,” he stated simply. “What kind of sickness is this?” Jack asked her. She shook her head,

“I don’t know, I haven’t been eating right,” Philipa said and looked over at Simon. Why she looked at him he’d never know. “I haven’t been eating enough, my stomach has been upset, and I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“Why on earth didn’t you ask cook for some broth?” Jack asked bewildered.

“I didn’t want to trouble her; she had her hands full with the party.” Simon was always astounded by her loving and gentle nature, Philipa thought about every one before she gave herself any concern.

“Sis you know the cook will have your hide if she thinks you haven’t been eating right,” Jack said to her kindly.

“I know, Jack I know will you ask her, if she has the time to make me some?” Philipa asked, and Simon couldn’t help but smile as she continued to think of the cook.

“I know she will, I’m going down to ask her to make you some,” Jack replied with as he leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Jealousy reared its ugly head as Simon viewed their love for one another. Simon had a few siblings, but they never had the affection like the Turner siblings do, maybe it was due to the loss of their mother at such a young age. Simon and Jack were only thirteen when the Duchess of York passed away from some unspeakable sickness that couldn’t be cure. While the boys were thirteen Philipa had only been eight, and it had been very hard on her. Simon thought of his brother that had no use for him other than keeping his pockets full so he could w***e and gamble. Then he thought of his sister whom had no use for him once she was married and he was no longer giving her any blunt. Simon looked at the two of them speaking softly, and wished that his own family was as loving.

Simon had gotten so lost in the past that he didn’t see Jack move to the door. However, he did notice the look of pain in Philipa’s eyes before she quickly masked it. Simon stared at her, wondering if she was hurt when he heard,

“Stoneville if you think I’m leaving you here alone with my sister you are out of your mind.” Simon started upon hearing that, and walked to the door. Simon gave one last look to Philipa, one of concern, at least he hoped his face conveyed and exited the room.

“What the hell do you think you are doing with my sister?” Jack asked as he shoved him against the wall. Simon, taking offense at simply helping Philipa in her time of need, he shoved Jack off of him.

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?” Jack shoved against the door again, and held him there in a hold that he couldn’t break without hurting Jack.

“I saw the way you looked at my sister; I recognize the lust in your eyes. I may be your best friend but I will call you out if you do anything to hurt my sister in any way again.” Jack stomped off, and Simon couldn’t hold in a curse. He had no idea he was that transparent in his lust for Philipa.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Simon asked himself. Simon had never done anything like that in his life. Yes he’d slept with many women, but not innocent women, especially not his friend.

Philipa had taken a nap after the cook came to personally deliver her some broth and some biscuits to eat after she woke up from her nap. The cook sat with her, and watched her eat until she was satisfied Philipa had ate enough.

Philipa sat up, stretched, and swung her feet onto the ground. Philipa slowly rose, and started to the small table where the biscuits lay. Philipa sat sown, and popped a biscuit in her mouth. Philipa was glad she was feeling well; she’d be able to go downstairs for the dance that night.

She sat there and thought about what happened earlier that day. “Why did he touch me like that?” She asked aloud. Simon’s touch wasn’t like the ones in the greenhouse that night, but it wasn’t an innocent touch either. Philipa pondered it while she ate. When she was finished Philipa rang for her maid so she could get dressed. Philipa looked at the clock and saw that she still had an hour or so to get ready.