The Apha’s Last Virgin Mate

Doubting

RUTH’S POV

I could see that Jasper was starting to doubt me and I could also see that he was having second thoughts about the work that we were doing. I couldn't understand why he was suddenly unhappy with the way we were doing things when he knew that there was no other way for us to help our mother. I wasn't certain if all these questions he was suddenly asking me were questions he had come up with all on his own or if it was because of his friend Silas. however, no matter where the questions were coming from I had to come up with a way to put all his concerns to rest.

I had to find a way to convince him that this was still necessary. I couldn’t allow him to jeopardize the work we had already put into this. I wasn't about to fail in what I was doing all because of my incompetent brother who had decided to develop a conscious overnight. After all, the whole reason we were here was to make sure that our mother got well, or so he thought. I had worked too hard to get to where I was and I couldn’t allow him to ruin things for me. I didn’t want to have to do anything to him to get him out of my way because I was willing to do anything to get him out of my way, I was willing to do anything to get rid of anyone who got in my way.

Why couldn’t he just do as he was told without asking any questions and without fighting me about it? Why was he suddenly eager to put love for a mate before the love that he was supposed to have for his own mother and me...his only sister? I suspected that Silas had something to do with this. Silas had probably found his mate and maybe he was making my brother jealous of what he didn’t have.

How could he even think he needed anybody else when he had me? Jasper didn’t need anyone. I was all the woman that he would ever need and if he ever felt the need that he needed to be around a different woman, our mother was always an option for him. The best part was that our mother was not the kind of woman who talked back at him. I almost laughed as I thought of that. How could she talk back at him when she couldn’t even speak or move? If there was one thing that I was grateful for and also proud of, it was the way I always made sure things went my way and my determination to get things to be done my way. as much as I didn't like the fact that Jasper was now questioning my decisions, I wasn't stressing because I knew that I would soon find a way to make him forget what he thought was questionable.

As I was sitting in my room and admiring just how smart and beautiful I was, I heard a knock on my door. It was my brother and I knew this because I had made it a point to know his scent and memorize it. I needed to know what his scent was like so that when he found his mate I would be the first to know and stop it before it went any further. I didn’t have a mate, so what made him think that it was more important for him to get a mate? if I was doomed to spend my life alone then so was he, we were sibling and as far as I was concerned we might as well be mated to each other because there was no way that I was ever going to allow another woman to take my brother away from me

“ Come in,” I said, fixing myself and then turning around to face the door.

“Am I disturbing you?” he asked me as he slowly walked into the room.

”No, I have been expecting you,” I said as I stood up and approached him.

“I wanted us to talk about what happened earlier,” he said “I meant what I said, I want to settle down too. I am tired of doing this,” he said, and I smiled as I sat on the bed.

“ Come and sit next to me,” I said and he did, “ Do you feel like you are the only one sacrificing something here?” I asked him calmly.

“ Sometimes I do, but then I know that you put your life on pause so that you can take the place of the alpha in the pack while I mature. But now I am grown up and I am certain there's another way that we can help our mother without me having to sacrifice my own happiness” he said, and I wish he knew how infuriating the words that were coming out of his mouth were to me right now.

“Jasper, you are my little brother and I will always protect you. Do you think that the moon goddess would keep sending you these mates that she sends you if she didn’t agree with what we are doing?” I asked him and he dropped his head and played with his fingers. I hated it when he behaved like a child like I hadn't taught him anything at all.

"She keeps sending them because she also wants to help us, if she didn't agree she would stop giving you mates because I think she already knows that they will all end up dead," I said as gently as I could

“I know that but I also think that you are wrong,” he said, and I realized that there was nothing that I could do to convince him that I was the right one and he was wrong. So I did what I did best and started crying.

“ What's wrong?” he asked me.

“I can't believe that my….my….my brother thinks that I don’t mean well to him. I can't believe that you think I am selfish”, I sobbed.

“ Come on Ruth, I never said you were selfish. I just said that I think that it's time for us to stop doing this”, he said.

“ You are saying it again. By saying that it's time to stop and that I am wrong, it's like you are saying that I am just doing this for my gratification. Do you think I gain anything every time you lose?” I asked him.

"Do you think I find joy in your tears?" I asked

“ I share your pain when you lose and when you are hurt but, if you want your throne, I might as well just hand it all to you right now so that you can do what you think is right. It is obvious that you think I don’t know what I am doing. You think that I am leading you astray”, I said, and he shook his head and wiped off my tears.

”Ruth, I love you and I appreciate all that you do for me and this pack. If it wasn’t for you we would have lost everything a long time ago. Sometimes I think I will never be as good as you in leading this pack. But I know that you will teach me and I know I can rely on you” he said.

“ Please don’t you ever think that I don’t appreciate you or what you do,” he said pulling me for a hug.

“but…”

“ Shh, don’t say anything. If talking about this makes you this upset, then let's never talk about it ever again okay? I don’t want to see you crying” he said and I nodded as I struggled to hide my smile.

If there was one thing I could do well, it was to get my brother to see things my way. Jasper never wanted me to cry and that was the reason why I always used my tears as a secret weapon that I only pulled out when I felt like there was nothing else that I could do. They were my only defense whenever I couldn't get through to Jasper and I guess the only person who ever saw through this was our mother. not only had she realized the kind of hold I had on her son but she despised it to the extent of trying her hardest to separate me from him. This was one of the reasons why she was now lying on that bed, she had tried to stop me and I had to do all that I could to get her out of my way. now I could flourish without her constantly trying to sabotage my plans and I could do all this while Jasper was preoccupied with an impossible task.