In his grasp 2

Moving out

I squeezed one eye open to see the sun breaking through the trees. Rubbing my eyes I realised that my phone had woken me up by buzzing against the hard surface where my head was. I grunted and put my hand in to retrieve it. It was a number a didn’t recognised and I answered it.

“Mmm... hello?” I crackled as my voice was croaked. 

“Uh... Miss Simmons?” A woman replied on the phone sounding slightly confused.

“Speaking” I muttered.

“This is Mrs Austin... from the rehabilitation centre?” I jumped up and cleared my throat.

“Yes! Hello, I’m terribly sorry I had lost my voice for a second” I chuckled nervously.

“Oh” she giggled. “I’m calling in regards to your interview that had taken place yesterday” she continued.

“Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed meeting you and seeing the grounds” I complimented.

“Well I was ringing to inform you that me and my team had a discussion yesterday and have decided that we would like to take you on, if you are still interested”. I tried to contain my excitement. I wanted to jump and scream but managed to compose myself.

“Of course! I would be delighted” I exclaimed and I could hear her chuckle down the phone. 

“We would love for you to start pretty soon, would you be able to come in Monday morning at 8am?” She asked politely.

“That’s absolutely fine. Do I need to bring anything?” I asked.

“Just yourself and some lunch, we have the uniform here for you and footwear so there’s no need to bring anything else” she informed.

“Brilliant! Thank you so much! I look forward to seeing you on Monday” I replied and we ended the conversation. I took a moment to gather my thoughts. In just 5 days I get to start my dream job which will kick start my new life as an adult. I just wanted to ring Joe and tell him but sadness overcame when I remembered the events from from yesterday. I looked down at my thighs as I sat in the back of car. 

Eventually I had managed to find the strength to climb into the front and drive to the cafe to get something to eat. I sat there gripping at my cup that held my hot warm coffee inside and twiddled it through my fingers. My hair was still a mess and I was wearing the same clothes as yesterday because all of my clothes were either at Joe’s apartment or his house. My mum thought I had my own place near the university but I told her that so that she didn’t find out about Joe. She knew about him but thought he was just a friend of a friend. If she knew the truth then I know for a fact she would make things difficult and she wouldn’t approve. Especially after everything that had happened with Grey, she doesn’t trust any man around her little girl at the moment as her feelings towards protecting me are too raw. I think she blames herself but that I didn’t really understand. 

“Here we are, full breakfast with no egg and no sausages”. The waitress smiled sympathetically at me when she saw the state of me. I narrowed my eyes and forced a smile. “Thank you” I said and grabbed my knife and fork. I dug into the food and scoffed at it. I was so hungry and I hadn’t eaten since before my interview yesterday. It had been 24 hours at least since my last meal and the stress of everything had spoilt my appetite, but not today.

“Lauren?” I heard a voice from behind me. Oh s**t, what is Ryan doing here? I looked up, embarrassed at the way I looked and was behaving. It was as if I hadn’t eaten for a year and was scoffing my face with food, still wearing the same thing he saw me in yesterday. He looked shocked and really worried. He sat down on the chair opposite and scanned my body. “Is everything okay?” He asked in a confused tone. I wiped my mouth and sat up in my chair.

“Yeah... why wouldn’t it be?” I tried to play dumb. “Lauren” he softly whispered and took a hold of my hands on the table. “Your wearing the same clothes I dropped you in, you look like you’ve hardly slept and your eating like an animal” he brutally said. I looked down and took my hands away. Shameful of how I have ended up. 

“Talk to me” he gently said. “I’m here”.

Those words were like a melody through my ears. Every time he said it, it sent goosebumps through my skin and it always broke me down. I took a deep breath in and exhaled.

“Ryan, it’s not your problem and it’s something I’m working on” I said. He looked even more confused than before but also slightly irritated.

“If it’s your problem Lauren, then it’s also my problem and I have told you that no matter when, no matter what, I’m always here for you so please...” he cupped my cheek and the warmth of his hand forced me to close my eyes.

“Tell me” he ordered. I sighed and let my guard down.

“I slept in my car, that’s why I look the way I do and that’s why I’m still wearing the same clothes as yesterday”.

“What? Why did you sleep in your car?” He scrunched his nose in disgust but I could tell it wasn’t at me. 

“All of my things are at Joe’s and after graduation I was pretty much living with him until, I managed to get my own job and my own place” I felt so embarrassed and defeated. I thought Ryan would judge me for trusting Joe to that extent and being so quick to live with him after graduation.

“I’m so sorry Lauren” he bowed his head with guilt and there was no signs of him being judgmental at all. 

“It’s not your fault” I nudged him to try to humour him a little.

“You should have told me” he looked up at me with guilt and anger in his eyes.

“I... I’m sorry... after the kiss I just didn’t want to...” I stopped myself from finishing the sentence as the fact that I was talking about it again was too painful. There was a long pause and Ryan stood to his feet.

“Right... come on... your staying with me” he said and I looked up at him in shock.

“Ryan I can’t. You and Ashley live together and she hates me” I reminded him. He sniggered at me and grabbed his wallet from his pocket to pay for my bill. 

“She doesn’t hate you Lauren, she’s threatened by you”. I feel like that’s pretty much the same thing. I rolled my eyes and he paid off my bill. I stood up to follow him outside. We walked down the street a little to where my car was parked and his was only a few feet away from mine. He must have seen my car and came to see me.

“Right. You go and get your stuff and bring it to mine” he said tapping on his phone screen. I began to tremble at the thought of seeing Joe’s face. “And I will go and sort out your room” he lied. I knew he was lying and that he was really going to speak to Ashley to persuade her into letting me stay. Ryan put his phone back and said “I have texted you the address so I will see you in a little while”.

He looked up to find me petrified and trembling. He stepped closer to me and cupped my face once more but this time with both of his hands. “It’s going to be okay Lauren, do you want me to come with you?”. The havoc that would cause if Joe saw me and Ryan gathering my things together would be explosive. I couldn’t allow that to happen so I shook my head as confidently as I could. He pressed his lips together and arched the corners of his mouth to give a sweet smile. He ran his hands from my cheeks to the tops of my arms. “Everything will be okay” he reassured me and I nodded.