Be My Valentine

Primed For Sin - J Leigh

The hot water running down my body feels intoxicatingly divine as it eases my soreness. Each muscle is taught, my skin bears little marks from his lips and fingers, and I am deliciously spent between my legs. s*x with him is always phenomenal!

Chris and I met through a mutual friend while we were still with our former romantic partners. Our friendship was easy, and soon we both found ourselves single again. His fiancée cheated on him while he was away at training; my boyfriend had become an abusive ass. We ended up living in neighboring apartments and hanging out when lonely. Easy enough - we were friends, after all! No pressure, no expectations - we knew it would just be friendship.

Well, that’s what we had intended. Life, however, often takes us down paths we never planned to take. After a frustrating day of dealing with Josh regarding our break-up, Chris took my to his favorite bar and provided me the safe space to drink unhindered - every man that showed me any interest in me got his Army Ranger stare-down, leaving me in my own worry-free bubble.

When we returned, Chris assisted me up the stairs and into my apartment. He lay me gently in my bed and I grabbed his hand. My intentions had been to talk, which we did. As the talking became whispers in the dark, our faces inched closer until we were kissing. His mouth worked mine expertly and it awoke a newfound desire in me. I had never wanted s*x like I wanted it then! Three days of countless orgasms followed, and we have been together ever since.

While the s*x was amazing, these six months have still been lacking. Chris is sweet, considerate, and smart. He is strong, long, and lean. Before him, I never understood the lure of full lips, but his have taught me why they are desired. I was thoroughly smitten with him, but he doesn’t seem quite there with me. We still hang out like we had as friends, but the only thing that seems different in his treatment of me is the fact that we are sleeping together. If I were to be completely honest, I am not sure what to do about it.

Realizing that I am not going to solve this problem by just standing in the shower, I turn the water off and grab my towel. Once dried, I silently pad my way down the hall to Chris’ bedroom. As I reach for the doorknob, I hear his voice from inside.

“You don’t understand! I can’t live without you! You’re my everything! I could never love anyone but you!” His words stab my eardrums and heart simultaneously. “Jen, you have always been the only girl I’ve ever loved. Please come back to me.”

My pain becomes rage. How could he possibly want that b***h back? She slept with countless men while he was at Fort Benning! She used him, manipulated him. The engagement? She only said “yes” for the ring. She never loved him! If he is begging her to be with him again when I have been faithful and loving to him, then he deserves her and whatever pain she will inflict next!

I turn the knob and walk in, my face calm in an attempt to hide the fact that I had overheard his side of the conversation.

“I have to go. I’ll talk to you later,” Chris rushes out, sounding dejected.

“Everything ok?” I ask sweetly as I reach for my panties.

“Yeah. Just catching up with an old friend,” he says.

“I don’t want to start a fight, but I feel like I need to point out that you did it again. You called me ‘Jen’ during s*x. I know you say it’s because you were together for years, but after six months, it’s hurtful,” I say, doing my best not to show my hand yet. Half dressed, I begin searching his room for my shirt. If this conversation goes where I expect it to go, I need to be dressed.

“Val, you know it’s just a habit. I’m sorry,” he begins as he catches me by the waist in his strong arms. He places his cheek against my abs as he continues, “For the record, s*x with you is hotter.”

“I’m not talking about the s*x, Chris. I need to know if you’re all in. We’ve been seeing each other for six months. Do you love me? Or am I just your f**k buddy?”

His eyebrows shoot up as he lifts his gaze to meet my eyes. He knows I never cuss, so to hear me f-bomb surprises him. “You’re my best friend. Of course I love you.”

“As a friend.” The words sound bitter, and my tongue feels poisoned by their truth.

“You know, after what I had with Jen, I just don’t know if I can ever feel like that again. Can people love that much more than once?”

“Yes, Chris. People can. But it’s obvious that you don’t. Do you want her back? Are you trying to get her back?” My voice sounds stronger than I expected, but inside I’m a jittery mess.

“I wrote her an email a while ago, but she didn’t respond. I tried calling a couple times, but she doesn’t seem interested in reconciling.” He sounds as though he is seeking comfort from me.

Sadness is gone; wrath is here to play. “Are you seriously wanting sympathy from me?” I seethe through my clenched teeth.

“Val, you’re my best friend! Who else is going to make me feel better?” His face looks at me softly.

“I suggest Jen, since she is so damn irreplaceable!” I growl, bending down to snatch up my shoes and stomp through his apartment. I sling my purse over my shoulder as I come across it in the living room.

“Val, wait! You know you are the best part of my life right now! Can’t that be enough? We could never be more. In six months, we’ve never even had a fight. You know why? Because you do everything possible to prevent it. You are too perfect! If I said I didn’t like blue, you’d replace every blue thing in your life just for me. And yeah that’s great! But honestly, it is kind of boring. I mean, the s*x isn’t boring, but everything else is so…blandly perfect. I need fire, drama - where are you going?” He calls as I make my way to the front door.

I twist the door knob hard enough to wrench my own wrist, but I ignore the pain. With a grand slam of the door, I stomp my way past my own apartment and make my way down the stairs to my car. Sitting in the driver’s seat, I slide my feet into my shoes and start the vehicle. Taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to collect myself, I back out of my parking spot and pull onto the highway. I have no idea where I’m going, but I sure as hell cannot stay here.

*

“Oh my gosh, he did not say that!?” Faith gasps. Before Josh, Faith was my best friend. I guess she is still my best friend, we had just not seen much of each other ever since Josh forbade me from communicating with her. He said she was poisoning our relationship; come to find out, she was just being a good friend and was trying to help me see his abusive tendencies.

“You know, I think I knew that he was still in love with Jen. I just didn’t want to hear the truth…or accept it. He convinced me to dye my hair red like hers. And I did, hoping he’d like me more. That’s why I did everything I did - to make him love me! In reality though, he never really knew me. I hid so much of myself from him in an attempt to be perfect for him, he couldn’t really love me.” I groan as I lean back into her couch cushions, pissed that I’ve always played the role of a servant in my relationships.

“Well, you can stay with me for as long as you need,” Faith declares as she hands me a huge mug of hot chocolate overflowing with marshmallows. “Besides, I could use some help. Valentine’s Day is ten days away and I need to put together an event at the pub. Every theme I’ve come up with is already in use at another bar or restaurant. Who better to help me out than my own personal Vale-”

“No! I appreciate your letting me stay here because God only knows I don’t want to be next door to him right now, but you know how I feel about that day!” I snap.

“Maybe that’s a good thing! Maybe you’re just the right person to come up with the theme because you don’t see Valentine’s Day the way everyone else does,” Faith says slyly while smiling at me with big doe eyes. “If you had an exclusive party on Valentine’s Day, what would you do?”

“Seriously!?” I groan again, rolling my eyes for extra impact. “I guess if I had to do it, I’d make it an Anti-Love theme.” I sip my hot chocolate and start going down the trail of my thoughts and oh! How I like where they are going! “You know, Chris practically called me boring, but that man doesn’t even know what’s in this mind! I think the theme should be ‘Love Bites’ and have everyone dress up as something known for its bite - vampires, werewolves, snakes. No romantic music should be played. No date night specials. In fact, I think there should be specials for single people only!”

“And specials for anyone celebrating their bir-”

“No!” I cut her off and circle back to our event planning. “Now, if we are going to do this, we are going to do it right. You should direct your marketing to target singles. Leave fliers near divorce attorney offices, speed dating locations, etc. Advertise it as though we are giving Cupid the finger! The color scheme should be black and the only red should be blood-related, no pink, and we should use some gothic undertones in the decorating and marketing.”

“Where is that boring, sweet girl Chris was complaining about?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure she exists anymore. She was just a shell. I'm ready to let my full self out. No more being who everyone tells me to be. No more people-pleasing. From now on, it is 100% Val! If I want to say ‘f**k’, then I am just going to say it! If I want to get f****d, I am going to do that, too! I am putting away the glitter and halos, and I’m letting my darkness out. I am primed for sin, and I intend on pulling that trigger!” I declare boldly, totally ignoring the fact that I’m curled up on a couch with my chin on my knees, sipping marshmallowy goodness.

“Good! There’s nothing better than a b***h with big d**k energy!” Faith cheers, clapping her hands.

I roll my eyes and chuckle. “I think I am just ready to take what I want and not apologize for it. I’ve always been the puppy following my man around; now I want to be the b***h my man is ready to please.”

“To the new cage-free Val!” Faith raises her mug to clink with mine. “Now, let’s start designing these ads!”

*

“The lights need to be dimmed lower over here, Greg!” Faith shouts the order as she finishes setting up the mingling area of the pub. We decided to put half of the tables and booths in storage to create a more party-like feel. Additionally, we set up all of the rectangular high tops end-to-end to create a second bar of sorts in the balcony from which onlookers could watch the party below without having to be in the midst of it. Faith inherited her family’s historic pub once she graduated college, so this event is very important to her as it is her first event as the new owner.

Heading to the ladies room, I grab my bag so I can put on the makeup I packed for my costume. True to my words, I am letting the real Val out. I covered that unflattering “Jen red” with nearly-black dye matching my natural hair. I tossed the blue contacts to let my light hazel show. I‘ve eaten ice cream for breakfast each morning, read the fifty shades series each night, and voiced my thoughts whether people appreciated them or not. I traded the leggings and sweatshirts that Chris thought were cute for jeans and vintage 90’s tops. Last Halloween, I dressed as a sweet little bunny for Chris; tonight, I’m dressed in a gothic bat costume.

“Val, did you print the playlist for the DJ?” Faith calls out to me. I roll my eyes, but smile knowing how much tonight means to her.

“That list was s**t! I printed it, then burned it!” I holler back while applying my mascara. I start counting seconds in my head.

Soon enough, the door bursts open! “You did what?” Faith shrieks.

“Deep breath in your nose; slow breath out your mouth,” I state calmly.

“Whatever, Pre-med! You’re giving me palpitations! Where’s the list?” She nearly yells.

“It’s been texted to the DJ, and there is a printed copy on the DJ booth. Calm down. You have everything lined up for a fantastic event!” I do my best to reassure her.

“Aren’t you chipper tonight? I take it you had another wet dream about that guy again?” She gives me a knowing look and sassy one-sided smile.

It’s true. Ever since the day I walked out of Chris’ apartment, my dreams have featured the hottest man imaginable. Everything about him suited my desires. He was tall with sculpted muscles, a perfectly rounded ass, and lips that begged to be sucked. His hair had impossibly soft curls to match his soft, warm skin. His eyes sparkled with intelligence and mirth, but when things got hot and heavy in my dreams, they were filled with adoration. He made me feel more wanted, more beautiful than any man I’ve ever known! So of course, he is only a dream!

“Mmm. If he were real, I’d tie him up and ride him to oblivion,” I say all too dreamily. “But there is no time to chat about my dream guy. We have an event to get started!”

Once we opened the pub’s doors, people poured in dressed as everything from cutesy alligators to gothic vampires. Faith’s security guy hands each one a “valentine” with drink and menu specials on one side and information about the event on the other. The crowd seems excited and ready to have fun! As people are seated, Faith makes her way to the DJ booth to address the crowd.

“Happy ‘Love Bites’ Day, everyone! Everything you need to know is on the card you were handed upon entry. Please be sure to play well with others, and if you plan to drink, please have a designated driver ready for your ride home. Enjoy your night! And be on the lookout - love just might give you a bite!”

As the event picks up, I make my way to a small two-seater table near the bar. I figure it is the best place to be since I’m here without company, and it makes me readily available for Faith if she ends up needing help. Every table is already full, seats at both bars are filled, and the dance floor is packed. It’s safe to say that the event is a raving success! Realizing the need for more seating, I stand up from my table and make my way toward the back wall near the door to the kitchen.

“Hey! I was coming over to see if that seat next to you was taken,” some guy carrying a mug of tonight’s special, lobster bisque, slurs in front of me. The mixture of alcohol and seafood on his breath wafts up my nose, making me cringe involuntarily.

“You can have the table. I am headed that way,” I gesture toward the safe-looking spot against the wall.

“I was hoping you’d sit with me,” he states as he moves in much closer.

I take a steadying breath and glance upward to think of how I am going to tell this guy to get lost. As I do, my eyes connect with a man in the balcony. Not just any man - my dream man! Literally him! He winks at me just as the soup guy sneezes, spraying it all over my costume.

“I can lick you clean if you want,” soup guy starts, but I raise my hand to cut him off before stomping to Faith’s office to clean myself up and change my clothes. Once clean, I head back out, praying I don’t smell like lobster.

As I make my way back into the crowd, I do my best to not make it obvious that I am searching the room for my dream man. I pass through dancers and make my way to the balcony’s stairway.

“What the f**k are you doing here?” Josh’s voice echoes in my ear. I turn to see him standing with Chris and Jen. “Who’d be willing to come with you?” His smug face ignites my anger.

I feel a hand slide between my waist and arm, a hand lightly gripping my forearm. A smooth, deep voice croons near my head, “Willing…and I consider it a gift to escort such a jewel of a woman. I feel like I should thank every man from her past for falling short so I could have this opportunity.”

I slowly turn to see who on earth would make such audacious claims. As I raise my eyes from a solid chest, I find my dream man looking down at me affectionately. He bends down to kiss my forehead as I stand there wordless, my mouth agape.

He takes my hand as he says, “Let’s leave this couple and their friend alone. I am sure the young lady wants to finish the makeout session she started with him by the restrooms.” He nods his head toward Josh, and Jen gasps, whipping her head to see if Chris picked up on what was said. His ashen face says he did.

We exit and walk a little way before he stops and turns to face me. “I need to apologize to you. First, I am sorry you had to live through those two morons to learn to be bold, to be yourself, and to recognize real love. Second, I do hope you enjoyed my visits in your dreams the past week and a half.” His eyes seem to be pressing the truth of his words into my soul.

“Who are you?” My curiosity peaked at the mention of my dreams.

“Eros, god of love,” he states strongly. “Out of every woman in the world, I’ve chosen you to be mine to worship for the rest of your days. You’ve proven yourself able to love, now it is time for you to be loved in return; and I promise, no one could possibly love like I do.” He winks and we are no longer outside Faith’s pub, we are in a seaside villa with sun shining brightly outside.

I try to grasp what just happened, but all I can focus on is my libido as memories of each dream play through my mind’s eye like the world’s sexiest XXX movie. My own words reply in my mind, I am primed for sin and I intend to pull that trigger.

“You know, I told my friend that if I met you, I’d tie you up and ride you,” I drawl.

“I think you should make good on that promise,” he responds. “How about we start with a shower? I’m sure you’d like to get that bisque off. Sorry about that, by the way. It was all I could think of to rescue you from that far away without drawing attention to myself.”

“Why avoid attention?” I ask, following him to a beautiful bathroom.

“I was only there for you,” he replies.

I slide the zipper of my dress down, letting it pool at my feet. Eros makes quick work of his clothing and enters the shower. He lathers me up and rinses me as though I am precious. Once we exit, Eros reclines on a chaise in the master bedroom. Using his belt, I tie his hands behind his back. Without hesitation, I straddle his hips and rock myself against his impressive c**k. “Happy birthday, my Valentine!" He says as he slides himself into me, and I fulfill my promise of riding him into oblivion. Beautiful, blissful oblivion!

Pen Name: J Leigh

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