Love Doesn't Exist

Nightmares and Sweet Dreams

Jayden's pov

At around 5 am I wake up to hear Claire screaming. "no..no get away GET AWAY!!" she's laying in bed thrashing and screaming. f**k should I wake her? or are you not supposed to do that? no that's sleep walking "Claire! claire wake up. come on wake up" I try to gently wake her but it dosent do anything she's still screaming. "CLAIRE WAKE UP!" Suddenly her eyes fly open and her arms reach out flailing around she clenches her fists and starts punching my chest "f**k off you bustard you can"t hurt me! YOU CANT HURT MEEEE!" I try to get away but she starts throwing stuff, a lamp crashes against the wall next to my head "what the f**k!?" I hear some one yell from the room next to us. I run out the door and go to see of they can help. "hey!" I see Sam standing in the hallway. "claire was screaming in her sleep and I woke her up, then she went crazy she thought I was trying to hurt her" he nods "night terrors, shouldn't have woken her up man." he says walking towards the door. "no Sam don-" he pushes the door open and turns on the light. "oh my God claire." she's curled up in a corner crying. "Sam what are we supposed to do?" he Shrugs "she seems of be out of it now you can probably try to talk to her" when I walk towards her she starts to cry "please" she sobs making herself seem smaller. "please leave me alone" i crouch down and slowly approch her like you would a injured animal. "claire it's me. I'm jay, you're okay" she looks up and finally realisation washes over her face. "wha-you..did I hurt you?" Sam comes over and helps pull her up so she's standing. "I'm sorry I umm I thought you were someone else" she says shakily. when we turn around all the other boys are standing in the door way. "for f***s sake leave her alone and go back to bed" Sam shoos them away and leaves, closing the door gently behind him. "I'm sorry" she starts but I pull her into a hug. "don't be" she takes a deep breathe and then relaxes against me. "do you usually get these?" she shakes her head, still leaning on me. "I don't know, can we not talk about it right now" she yawns "can we go back to bed." her eyes start to droop. "yeah" we walk over to the the bed. "I think I'll sleep on the couch for the rest of tonight" I say as she gets into bed. "no please stay here with me" she whispers sleepily. I get into bed but don't cuddle up to her so she can have her space. but she rolls over and cuddles up to me anyway. Dam she's so cute like this. I'd like to know who the f**k she thought I was and what they did to her.

Claire's pov

rolling over I run into a warm body, opening my eyes I remember its jay. "goodmorning" I look up, he's awake. "I didn't mean to wake you-" "it's okay" his face breaks out into a grin. cuddling up closer to him I apologise "I'm really sorry about last night" he runs his hands through my hair which has fallen out of its bun. "I told you, you don't need to say sorry. you couldn't help it." I sigh knowing it's true. I can't help it. but I must've been having these for a while because I have nightmares nearly every night sometimes different ones but last night was one of the recurring ones. it's more like a memory really. "what's the time?" I ask and he checks his phone "It's twelve thirty" he stretches out in the bed and yawns. "wanna get up?" I look over to the bedside table and notice the lamps missing. "what happened to the lamp?" he points over to the wall on the right. oh my God I threw a lamp "did I throw that at you?" jay laughs "yeah but you missed." what if I didn't "jay this isn't funny I could've hurt you" his joking manner fades and he becomes serious. "you thought you were protecting yourself." I don't think that it justifies what I did. "okay but that doesn't mean it's okay." "mkay, how about we get some food?" he says getting out of bed. and goes to walk put the door. "wait. are you really going to walk around in your underwear?" he smirks "do you like the view?" rolling my eyes I get out of bed and follow him down stairs.

when I get down stairs all the boys are already down here. mike, Sam, tylor, Ben, will, Noah and Luke. Luke and noah I don't hang out with much, they gets into alot of fights at school. While me and jay walk to the kitchen I see Ben whispering to Luke and then he looks back at me then to ben. "so what do you like to eat for brunch?" jay asks picking me up and sitting me on the bench so I'm facing him. "I'm not really that hungry" he opens the pantry and looks around bending down showing off his butt on purpose. "jay stop it" I try not to laugh "stop what?" he turns around and gives me a cheeky look. "jeez jay seriously stop, okay, how about pancakes." I suggest and he stands up. "good I know how to make those" he wiggles his eyebrows to try and make me smile. "come on then" I jump down from the bench and walk over to the pantry picking out flour, sugar, eggs and milk. "hey I said I can make it!" Jayden grabs the ingredients as I pull them off the shelf. "mkay what can I do then chef?" holding up a whisk he uses it to point to the bench. "Park your pretty tush over there" he turns back around and starts putting the batter together. his back muscles moving and flexing. I seriously can't just sit here and watch him. I search the cupboards for a frying pan and eventually find one. "I told told you not to help" jay says turning around. "and I'm telling you now that I don't care what you tell me to do." i assure him as I turn on the hot plate and set the frying pan down. "fine" he gives up. "look at you two, like an old married couple" mike jokes and I feel my cheeks warm up. "your embarrassing her you dimwit" sam tells mike off and they both go and sit back down in the lounge room. when I look back at jay all 6 foot something of him is looking down at me.."your legs look so sexy in those shorts" he whispers down to my ear. "if your lucky you'll get to see more of them when we go swimming" I whisper back to him smiling as I put my arms around his neck and reach up to kiss him. sighing he wraps his strong arms around my waist and kisses me back. "finally!" I turn around and remember all the boys can see us. Sam's clapping "it took you two a while" he complains. I bury my face in Jayden's chest as I chuckle. "the frying pans gonna burn" I say changing the subject.

Jayden's pov

after brunch we decide to go out in the boat on the lake. "I'm just gonna head upstairs and get changed" Claire says. "you guys must've done some really kinky s**t last night" Will says to me and I glare at him "she had a night terror, she's had a s**t life don't joke about it" my voice comes out like a growl and Will scuffles away. he's not one of my favourites. "hey you gonna get the boat out ?" Ben asks "yeah want to give me a hand?" he nods and we go out to the boathouse. once we have the boat ready to go Ben goes to round up the boys that want to come. "hey, i didn't know the boat would be this big" I hear Claire say as I adjust some ropes. "come on up" I hear her soft feet as she walks across the plank onto the boat. when I turn around I almost drop the stuff I'm holding in my arms. she's wearing a very skimpy black bikini that's only held together with knots at her neck back and hips. she has a sheer over sized top on over it but it's practically see through. "do I look okay? I haven't worn one of these before." she shifts where she stands and it makes her straight hair sway slightly. I have to clear my throat before speaking "no you're beautiful, it looks good on you" I turn my head and notice a noise coming closer. oh right it's the guys. around the corner I see Ben, mike and Sam who all come aboard. "daayy-um girl you know how to pull off a bikini!" mike yells checking her out. "Stop being a perv mike" I remind him. Ben decides to change the topic. "so are we ready to go?" I nod and start the engine while the boys find seats. turning around I feel a small hand on my back. "can I stand up here with you?" Claire asks. "of course, come here" I move her so she's standing infront of me with her back pressed against my front.

when we get out far enough into the lake we stop the boat. "wanna jump in?" I take my shirt off while claire stands at the adge of the boat looking into the water. "how deep is it. I heard that there's always dead bodies at the bottom of lakes in America." I scoff and pretend it's not true even though it probably is "that's bullshit,

I've been swimming in this water since I was four years old" I run and cannonball off the back of the boat. "come on! " I call her as I tread water. "okay!" she says taking the see through shirt off she walks to the edge of the boat and cleanly dives in. when she resurfaces the water the boys cheer for her "yeahhh ten out of ten!" Sam says pretending to hold up a judges paddle. "ohmygod! ohmygod! something touched my leg!" she squeals and splashes over to me while the boys laugh. "hey calm down it would've only been some sort of fish" she looks down into the water. "oh okay yeah" says breathlessly. something catches her eye and she suddenly dives down. what the hell. "hey where'd she go" yells Sam standing up looking over the edge of the boat for Claire. after nearly two minutes she comes back up gasping and holding something in her fisted hand. "what did you find?" she smiles and opens her hand. and there in the middle of her palm is a small silver ring with a giant square blue stone on it covered in algae. "how did you even see that?" I laugh. she Shrugs "I just saw something glinting down there." she says as she examines the ring. "it looks old but not corroded. I wounder who is belongs to?" I shake my head and laugh at her "what! " she says "I can't believe you want to know who used to own it, it's probably at least 50 years old and this ring wouldn't have belonged to a young person. the owner would be dead claire, let's get back onto the boat" together we swim over to the boat and get back on board. "what were you doing claire?" mike asks. she hold up the ring and Sam whistles "that's some serious bling girl" claire picks up a towel and starts to rub all the algae and grime off of it. "if you want when we go back home I can take it to a jewller to clean it properly." I say "that'd be nice" she says absent mindedly as she holds the ring up to the light. now that all the algae is off it you can see its silver. "i think it might be a genuine sapphire" she says. she brings the ring close to her lips and breathes on it then watches the condensation on the gem rapidly disappear. her eyes go wide and her mouth drops open. "oh my God jay this is a real sapphire the size of a quail egg it's probably worth quite a lot." the look on her face is so adorable. "we should try and find the owner" she sighs betraying her own desire. "I can look into it for you, of you want" I say and she nods. "do you have anywhere safe u can put it for you to look after it. "sure" she hands me the ring and I put it away in a compartment near the steering wheel.

Claire's pov

after spending the day on the lake we go back to the house. running inside before any of the other boys can, I hop into the shower. if I waited till after they had their showers I'd have no hot water. once I had almost finished washing someone opens the door. "umm I'm in here!" I yell turning away from the door so they couldn't see my most private parts. "s**t sorry I didn't hear the shower!" oh my God it's jay. at the thought of him seeing me naked my whole body blushes. when the door closes I hear laughing and someone yelling "you dirty pervert!" I let out a breathe i didn't realise I was holding and finish washing out my hair. lucky I brought my clothes down here with me. I pull on some very short denim shorts and a cropped and tied flannie top. when I walk out of the bathroom I notice all the boys, except jay, are looking disappointed. "did you all think I was gonna walk out here with nothing but a towel ?!" Sam nods "yeah we did, too bad you didn't I would've liked to see jay lose his s**t" Sam and a few other chuckle. I walk over to the couch and sit down to towel dry my hair. "why would jay lose his s**t?" I ask Sam "well because he'd either want to kill us for looking at you or he'd have such a hard on he'd be barley able to contain himself" Ben chuckles. "I glare at Ben, how about you don't speak or think about me that way?" I say raising an eyebrow at him.

after drying off my hair I go outside where the boys have moved to sit in the sun or play football while Will cooks on the barbecue. I find jay with only a pair of shorts on sitting at a table drinking with some guys I've never meet before "hey" I say sitting down in his lap. "claire these are some dudes from across the lake they're Mates of my mate blaire" he points to a guy who seems to be in his early twenties who's wearing a blue ripcurl shirt and board shorts. he nods to me in acknowledgement holding up his beer. I smile back at him as I lean back into jay while he slings his arm over my shoulder and across my chest. "I was just talking to blaire about the ring you found" jay explains happily "turns out it was his great great grandmothers and he doesn't mind if you keep it" I look up at blaire "really? are you sure your mother wouldn't want it?" he shakes his head "my mothers a b***h and it would only end up with me so you may as well have it" he says matter of factly. "thank you!" I say and he smiles flashing his whitened teeth "seriously no problem" he says. "so blaire do you go to collage?" I ask wrapping my arm around jays head to play with his hair. "yeah I go to the state collage nothing special I'm working on becoming a doctor." he explains. "do you know what you want to do?" I shake my head "I'm not 100% sure but I think I'd like to be a teacher." jays hands slide down my sides to my thighs sending shivers through my body. "my girl says that she wants to be a stay at home mom" blaire says chuckling. "I personally don't see the appeal but to each their own" I say and get a curious look from blaire "you don't like children?" he asks and I shrug "I don't know I just couldn't imagine having my own, you know you never sleep the same after you have children? for the first six months you get nearly 70% less sleep than you used to" I tell him "you've thought about this?" jay says surprised. I shrug "I know alot of people who had kids young" blaire looks impressed for some reason. "well I respect a women who knows about the world and what she wants." I laugh "I'd hardly qualify as a women" he raises an eyebrow "what do you mean?" I look at him "well I uh I'm just not that old" I say and he c***s his head to the side "oh I meant no offence I didn't mean to say you look 30 or something" he says as if he's worried I might be upset with him. "thats not exactly what I meant either, guess how old I am" I say and he looks me up and down again "I'd say your no younger than seventeen or eighteen, why?" I lean forward on jays lap for suspense "I'm fifteen" I say and then lay back on jay who's now laughing at Blaires face. "Jayden you little bastard!" he says shocked "your a pedofile" he jokes laughing with his mates. "well technically she'll turn sixteen later this year" Sam pipes in from behind us bringing a smile to my lips. it makes me happy to know the boys rember details about me. most typical guys don't think about stuff that matters to most girls. "hey come get some food!" Will yells from the barbecue and everyone get up and makes a beeline for the food. "come on" jay says pushing me upright first and then stands up with a oh so manly grunt. He grabs my hand and I follow him over to where everyone is.

jays pov

after dinner Claire pulls me aside "wanna go chill out inside where it's more quiet?" she says slyly her voice like silk as her hand rests on my chest. inside there's no one else but us. when I sit down she straddles my lap again, like earlier, but this time facing me. sitting one of my hands at her hip and another at her neck I look up at her. "you're so f*****g hot" I sigh as she runs her hands up my chest and neck tangling her hands in my hair. she leans down really close to my ear. "you'll have to take the lead from here because I'm still quite inexperienced" she whispers looking at me through hooded eyes. "mmm okay" I say then bring my lips down on hers parting them and sliding my tounge into her mouth she moans. "mmm jay" she let's out soft sighs of contempt as we make out. she tugs on my hair every now and then. "mmm" I moan not able to help myself. "hey you two get a room!" some one yells instantly claire jumps of my lap and looks around her face guilty. "chill we don't judge girl, you can do what you want but don't let it get too far infornt of us, we don't wanna see his micro p***s" Sam jokes gesturing to me. well way to kill the mood. I look over to claire and find her blushing bright red. "umm sorry guys" she turns to me and grabs my hand. "come on then" she leads me over to the stairs to go to our room. "oh okay" my surprised voice comes out horse and Sam laughs "you're acting like a prepubescent boy again!" I turn around and stick my middle finger up at him . "have fun my man, be safe claire!" he yells as if he's farewelling us. and I hear Claire nervously giggle. when we get into our room I lock the door, just in case while claire turns a lamp on. I run over and jump onto the bed, I'm already half undressed since I'm not wearing a shirt. but she just stands at the end of the bed biting her lip. propping my head up with my arm I look at her "you okay?" she smiles "I umm I just wanted to say I'm definitely not ready for s*x yet" I nod "thats okay, I didn't expect you to be" I say softly and she lays down next to me "I don't want you to worry about any of that stuff, I don't care how long you want to wait" I say and she bits her lip again. "I still want to do other stuff" she whispers tracing my nips. "is there anything you specifically want me or not want me to do?" I ask and she thinks "I dunno" she says "like I said I have no experience, I don't know what I do or don't Like" nodding I roll onto my back and pat my lower belly. "hop up here" I encourage her and she smiles cheekily as she swings her leg over me and sits on my lap for the third time today. she wriggles down a bit further than where I showed her to sit but I sure as hell don't mind. slowly she leans down and kisses my chest then up to my neck as she grinds down on me. slowly i let my hands wonder from her hips up to her ribs. I look up and we make eye contact she nods her head and unties her small top to reveal a lace white bra. "dam baby girl" I moan looking at her. "you can take my bra off if you want" she says shyly leaning forward. I kiss her again while I unclasp her bra letting her t**s fall free. I look at her brown n*****s then up at her face. she's blushing in embarrassment "are they okay?" she says nervously. I Cup one with my hand watch her expression go to lust as she bits down on her lip and closes her eyes. "they're perfect" I moan "can I suck on them?" I ask and she nods her head making her coloured hair fall around her boobs. when I start sucking on her n****e she gasps and her eyes fly open "oh my God!" she sighs panting. As I lick and nip at her breasts her back arches. "mmm" I end up flipping her over so I'm on top. She giggles and leans up to kiss up neck to my ear then pulls away to look into my eyes. suddenly something washes over her and she sits up seemingly panicked. she sits up against the head board and pulls the sheets up to chest to cover herself. "please, claire, I want you to be brutally honest and tell me what's wrong." I ask as I sit up next to her.

Claire's pov.

I don't know if I should listen to him and answer honestly or not. I look up at his pleading face and decide to tell him what I'm worried about "well I, this is just really good" I say not sure how to word what I want to say "but well..." oh to hell with trying to say this in a delicate way. "okay like you said I'm going to be brutally honest and I'm gonna be blunt" I say warning him and his face turns serious. "I'm really f****d up, jay. I have trust issues and alot of insecurities. I doubt everyone's intentions and its probably going to be hard for you to deal with me sometimes. I mean I could've killed you last night for f***s sake!" my voice starts to crack and my eyes water. "I'm just a mess" I sob "and I don't want to care and become reliant on someone because everyone who I get close to hurts me and I already care about you too much" I sob looking up at him, he wraps his arm around me. "I don't care how hard it is, I want to try. I want to make you happy and I'm going to try never to hurt you." he whispers to me as we cuddle. "I'm not sure, what if I ended up hurting you?" he Shrugs "you wouldn't do it on purpose and I'm a big boy I can handle it" he shows off his dimples and lightly talks about it as if it's not a big deal. what if I brake his heart? I flop over and lie down. "so what exactly was it that made you think about all this?" he rolls me over to face him and I watch his eyes go wide. "do you love me" his voice comes out high pitched and uncertain. I scoff "no! I don't believe in love" I roll my eyes, I did not expect this guy to be a romantic "what do you mean you don't believe in love, it's not a religion, it's a feeling" he says quietly. "no I don't think so, I think that you can care about someone but I don't think love is a real thing you know" I try to explain but he laughs shaking his head. "one day you'll change your mind" he sighs and to my dismay I feel it in my gut that he's right. "agree to diagree" I say feeling his body shake as he laughs at me. I lean over and kiss him placing my hand on his heart I feel it thump, thump-thump, thump, thump-thump.