Can't Fight Fate

Chapter six

Dylan

I got into my Uber and made my way to the airport to catch my flight. I was exhausted. I tossed and turned all night just thinking about everything going on. Everything from fixing things with Archer to going home and facing my past, all of my past was running through my mind nonstop and I didn’t know how to turn it off. With one bag in hand, I took my phone out while I was on my way to call Jordan.

“Hey man.” He answered after a few rings, “You got me right before we were about to head to the field. How’s the drive so far?”

“Not driving. Heading to the airport. I need you to do a couple of things for me.”

He paused and I knew he was confused, “Why are you going to the airport? You’re supposed to be driving to Crossdale.”

“Well, when you have a bye week, I need you to drive my car down and I’ll get you a flight back to New York.”

“Uh, why? I need more info, man. What exactly is going on?”

I groaned. He was relentless, but I knew he meant well. If there was one thing about Jordan, it was that he always had my back, no matter my decision. It seemed like he was the only person I could fully trust to tell me the truth, no matter how hard it was. “I’m going to North Carolina first and then I plan on getting a rental and driving home.”

He laughed, making me roll my eyes at him. He knew what had happened between Archer and I and he tried convincing me to make things right with him, but I was stubborn and thought that maybe if I ignored it things would fix themselves. I have never been so wrong. “About fuckin’ time you fixed s**t with your little brother.”

“I know, I know.”

“You’re still an ass for waiting this long.”

“Tell me something that I don’t know.”

“Oh, get ready for this.” I prepared myself for what was about to come out his mouth. It was either going to be really good or make me want to have the driver turn around so I could slap the s**t out of him. “Your girl, Raegan, has a roommate.”

“One, she’s not my girl and she can never be my girl. Eli will kick my ass and kill me and I think my dad would bring me back just to clean up the mess so they can kick my ass again.” I cut him off before he could continue, “And two, why are you stalking her?”

“No, no, listen dip wad, her roommate is a smokin’ hot girl. Her name is Summer, I think, and dude, she’s fuckin' drop dead gorgeous and, from what I can see, she’s single.”

“Good for you. Too bad you’re in New York and she’s in Texas. It’s not like you can do anything about it.”

I heard some shouting in the background and I knew that was coach yelling at Jordan to get his ass on the field, “Take a chill pill coach, it’s Nicholson.” There was a bit more scuffle going on as I patiently waited for Jordan to get back on the phone.

“Nicholson.” Coach’s voice echoed through the phone and into my ear. I pursed my lips and closed my eyes, not wanting to talk to him. Anyone but him. “My offer still stands.”

“I already said no.”

“You would be amazing at it and it’s a lot of money.”

“I don’t care about the money. I never have and I never will. You know the reason for me turning it down. I’ve already told you a million times, besides, I already took the job.”

“As a kid’s teacher.”

“Yeah, so? What’s your point? I might as well make good use of this degree.”

“That’s not your calling and you know it.”

“You know, maybe it isn’t my calling, but neither was football.” I shrugged at no one in particular. “I will find my calling and I think going home is going to be a good start. Facing my demons and creating a new path will lead me to where I’m supposed to go and if you cannot understand that, then this conversation is over. I gotta go coach, don’t make them work too hard.” I hung the phone up before he could say anything in return. Coach was always determined to make sure I stayed with the team in any shape, way, or form. After I was injured, he pushed and pushed me to rush through rehab to get back on the field. I know he feels bad for pushing me, somewhat blaming himself for making things worse, but it was also my fault. I shouldn’t have done what I did and when he found out I couldn’t play anymore, the look of disappointment from him will be forever engraved in my mind.

That was when he came up with the coaching idea, to be his assistant. It was tempting to be part of the team without getting hurt, but something inside me told me that wasn’t the right move. My heart would never be in it and it would be too damn painful to stand on the sidelines instead of being the one on that field catching the ball and running towards the endzone. I asked my mom to send my resume and applications to a couple of schools around Crossdale, wanting to go home without living at home. Much to my dismay, she sent it right to the admin office of Crossdale Central school district.

The day I got the phone call regarding the job, something inside me clicked. It was like a puzzle piece went back into place, the first of many. I immediately took the position with the plan of starting the next school year, or whenever I could make it home. That began my search for a house and when I couldn’t find one I liked, after doing dozens of virtual tours, I got a hold of a contractor and a 2 acre plot of land to build my house on. The rest well, the rest seemed to fall into place.

I tipped the Uber driver an extra $50 and headed through airport security. I was usually a pretty calm guy, but the idea of seeing my brother for the first time in over a year is bringing the nerves out. It was like time was slowing down with each passing minute. Soon, I was boarded on the plane and we took off to North Carolina, landing right on time and my rental waiting for me at the pickup location.

The campus was beautiful. He picked a great school to go to. I looked into more and they have amazing academics, a lot of college classes and a fantastic sports program, something I wish I would have found when I was thinking of going to boarding school. Instead, I opted to stay in a public school and busted my ass to become an All-American at football.

I checked my phone and it said 2:30. The game started in 30 minutes and if Archer is anything like me, I know exactly where he would be. I walked through campus and everywhere I looked, eyes were staring at me. Damn high school girls. I rolled my eyes and ignored the giggles and the whispering comments.

He’s hot. Who is he?

He looks like Archer.

How old is he? Would he date someone younger?

I walked past every one of them, not making eye contact with anyone. I had one goal in mind. I made it to the locker room and stood there, staring at the door. I wanted to go in but it was like my feet were cemented to the ground.

“Excuse me? Who are you?” I heard someone ask behind me. I turned around and came face to face with an older gentleman who, if memory serves me right, was Archer’s coach.

“Oh I’m sorry, are you coach Benson?” He nodded, raising an eyebrow at me while crossing his arms. “I’m sorry to bother you, I’m-“

“Dylan Nicholson. All American football for St. John Fisher until you had an accident on the field that left your knee is shambles. You’re here for Archer, right?” I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting him to know all that information about me. “You look surprised.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“When Archer came to our school last year, I knew his last name was familiar.”

“Yeah, our dad is pretty popular in the business world and with mom being a famous author.”

“No, it was because of you. I used to go to St. John’s as well. My buddy is the baseball coach and when he told me about you, I started to follow your career in hopes you would make it big. You are an amazing athlete, one of the best I’ve seen. It’s a shame what happened. How did it happen?”

I sighed, “I thought I saw a ghost of my past in the stands and it caught me off guard. Then next thing I knew, I was on the ground.”

“I see. Does Archer know you’re here? He didn’t say anything.”

I shook my head, “No. We had a huge falling out last year and I was on my way home and I figured I should try to patch things up with him before I headed home.” He nodded in response and took me into the locker room.

The dark blue lockers looked pretty new. Some had stickers on them and others had signatures written on the front, some more than one. “Our seniors sign their lockers. Kind of like leaving their mark on the school before they go on to their future.” I nodded my head. “He’s through those doors over there, just be prepared. I don’t know what anyone has told you recently but…just see for yourself.”

Confused, I walked past the rest of his team as they watched me go to the single door on the other side of the locker room. I pushed the door, expecting to see Archer, sitting down with headphones in, listening to music to get into the zone like he used to when he was younger. What I saw broke my heart. He was sitting in an ice bath, seething in pain. Mom and dad never mentioned that he was injured. I used this method all the time after a game to help with my muscles and joints, but to see him doing it before his game, the sight pains me. It tenses your muscles and can make things worse.

“Archer…” I whispered from the doorway. He snapped is head at me and his eyes went wide as he stood up in nothing but his gym shorts. “What’s going on little bro?”

“What are you doing here?” he snapped as he wrapped a towel around his waist and went to grab dry clothes.

“I wanted to see you, to talk, but I see you have more important issues going on.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“How long have you been injured?”

He paused and I heard him let out a sigh. His back was to me, but I could see he was trying to hold back the tears. I walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder, making him tense up even more.

“Archer…”

“What Dylan? What do you want me to say?”

“Talk to me.”

“You don’t deserve an explanation.”

“But you do.” His head fell to where his chin hit his chest and he started to sniffle, “When your game is done, let’s get food and we will talk, please.”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t go after the game because I was never going to play today anyway,” he said softly. The disappointment in his voice could be heard miles away.

“How did you get hurt?” I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the bench where we sat for a moment in complete silence. He finally turned his head to me and just stared, making me look back at him.

“What happened last year Dyl?” The pain started to flow forward in his eyes. It was something I never wanted to see, ever, from him. I hurt him badly and I have no one to blame but myself. “All I wanted to do was see my brother and you freaked out on me.”

“The truth?”

“Yeah…I think I deserve it.”

“You do.” My eyes rolled up as I let out a sigh and I shook my shoulders to try and loosen myself up. “I did forget your birthday and I’m sorry. No words can make that up to you. That day, I just got back from the doctor and was told I could never play football ever again. My injuries were too far gone and severe to be able to turn around from it. So I drank. It was the only thing I knew I could do. I was hurting from losing my dream amongst other things. When you called, I was already 2 bottles deep and in less than 30 minutes. I said things I didn’t mean. The money comment? I never meant it. I didn’t mean any of the s**t I said to you. You are the best brother a guy could ask for.”

“Dyl…” his eyes went wide and I nodded. “You didn’t, did you.”

“I’m not proud. I hate myself for it every day.”

“How bad? I knew it was bad because mom and dad were gone, but they didn’t tell me exactly what happened. When she came home, I have never seen her so upset.”

“I drank 4 full bottles of liquor in less than an hour and a half. No food in my system. I started to get a headache so I took some pain meds and doubled the dose. I ended up passing out. I don’t remember much after that until I woke up, but that is for another day.” I paused and turned my head to look at my little brother, “Archer, what I did, there is no excuse for my behavior and I regret it every day. I don’t know what I can do to make it up to you, to show you how sorry I am. I want you back in my life. Hell, I need you back in my life.”

He clasped his hands together and let out a sigh as his head fell. I started to see little droplets of water hit the floor. He was crying. His shoulders started to shake and he started to sniffle. I brought my arm around his shoulder and pulled him to me, trying to give him a little bit of comfort.

“I shouldn’t have left. I knew something was wrong. I felt it. Maybe if I didn’t leave and realized you were hurting, things would be different. I don’t know why I even freaked out. You never did that to me before, so why would I take it personally now? I’m so sorry Dyl. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.” He cried. I was shocked. He blamed himself when he did nothing wrong.

“Archie. Look at me.” He refused to look up; I had to force his face up to meet my eyes, “Listen and listen good. You did nothing wrong. Nothing. I was the one in the wrong. I was the one that said the cruelest things I could say to my brother. I was the one that was belligerent drunk and couldn’t control myself. I am the one that’s sorry. I am the one that should have reached out sooner and patched things up. I’m the one that’s the asshole of the family and needs to fix the bits and pieces of my life.”

He laughed and shook his head, “Yeah, you’re the asshole, not me.”

“We good?”

“Always.”

“So, tell me about this injury.”

He brought both his hands to his hair and gripped it and let out a frustrated groan. “Last year, after we fought, I was playing a game against our rivals. I was running from 3rd to home when one of the assholes grabbed my arm and pulled it back so far I heard a pop and felt a tear. I ended up getting surgery on my shoulder and going through rehab for 6 months. My first game back, my freaken first game back and I was on fire. 2 doubles, a triple and 2 homers. I felt new, better than ever, until the assholes slid into me, knocking me over and his cleat smashed my knee.”

“Why did I not know about this?”

“I made mom and dad not say anything.” I glared at him. What the hell? I know we weren’t talking but I feel like I should have known! I could have helped him! “I’m sorry! I know I should have told you but I just…I just..” He started crying again and all I could do was hold him tighter, “I’m not playing right now.” He said as he wiped away his tears, “I’m going through more rehab. I tried to practice today and my body just couldn’t take it, which is why I’m doing the ice bath. I feel like any shot I had at the majors is gone, Dyl. My dream, everything I worked so hard for, is gone.”

I felt his pain deep. I was there in the past two years when I first got injured, until last year when they said I could never play again. I felt his sadness, his hopes and dreams vanished. “This is what we’ll do.” I paused as he looked up at me, “When the school year is out, come home. I’ll get a hold of the best sports therapist there is and get another opinion. You can even stay with me when the house is finished.”

“But they said…”

“I don’t care what they say, Archer. You’re only 16. You’re still young and you have time to heal. Listen to the therapists here and when you come home, I’ll take care of you, okay?”

“Wait…you’re going home and you’re building a house? I thought you hated it there.”

I shrugged, “It’s home. I never hated it, I just avoided coming home.”

“She never stopped, ya know.” I looked up at him and c****d an eyebrow, “Raegan. We knew she had a crush on you, but she never stopped.”

“What makes you say that and what do you know about me and Raegan?”

“I know what I see. I saw the way you looked at her when you left on her birthday. You looked sad and then you never came home. I remember mom and dad talking with Eli and Bella and she was crying about you and how you guys kissed or something. She’s been on some dates here and there, but nothing too serious that I know of until college.”

“I’m glad she moved on. She needed to. I’m sure she stopped. She needed to. She doesn’t need someone as broken and damaged as me in her life. She deserves better.”

“You’re an idiot.” He nudged my shoulder, “You’re the most standup guy we know. Broken and damaged? What kind of attitude is that?”

“The kind of attitude when you f**k up your life so badly that you know no one would want to be a part of it because of your past.” I shrugged, “What’s done is done and I can’t change the past.”

“You can’t change the past, but you can change the future and trust me, she didn’t move on and let me tell you, she’s a babe.” We both chuckled, “Well, you have a long drive home and since I’m not playing there’s no point in you staying here.”

“There is a point and it’s because of you, to fix this.”

“It’s fixed. When school is done, I’ll come home. I’m giving up my studio and I was going to move in with Fin, but since your offer is on the table, I think I’ll take that.”

I stood up and we clapped hands and hugged, “Sounds like a plan.” He walked me out to the car and before I pulled off, he tapped on the window, signaling me to pull it down. “What’s up little bro.”

“When you get home, just remember that no matter what happens, you can’t fight fate. It’s always been you and Ray. I know it, you know it, she knows it, hell, we all know it.”

“What happens when you don’t believe in fate?”

“Still can’t fight it.”

“Whatever you say, little brother. You can’t fight something when you don’t believe in it and I lost the notion of fate years ago.”

“You know, it sucks hearing you say that when you were the one that always told me that fate was something in our lives that we couldn’t control, that we should embrace it and learn to handle it with grace and make the best of what destiny has to offer us.”

I sighed, knowing exactly what he was talking about. It was something that I used to believe in, but when one bad thing after another happens in your life that takes away all your dreams, you tend to lose the notion of fate and destiny. “We still have a lot to talk about, but that can wait till you come home. I gotta go, it’s going to be a long drive home.”

With that, I pulled away from the boarding school with my brother waving at me as he got smaller and smaller with every foot I drove. Things with him and I will never be like they were before, but I am sure we could be better than ever and I was determined to help him, no matter what it takes.