half/closer

half / 17

The night was already mysterious. The moon was hiding in the clouds like a shy maiden refusing to expose her beauty but some stars were confidently blazing between the massive mist of the nightfall. The autumn was fairly bitter, however, inside the treehouse, the dancing flame warmed the air, bringing me a sense of protection.

It was already two thirty-four and I was still wide awake, resisting getting any sleep because of wanting to appreciate the time with Khloe. It was already the weekend so I wasn't bothered about getting up late tomorrow. Mom would always let me sleep until ten on a Saturday morning so it was safe to say that everything was going to be fine, I believe.

Though I insisted to wash the dishes, Khloe refused and shoved me lightly towards the unfinished canvas of her father instead.

"Try to end my misery with that," she jeered before going back to her tiny kitchen.

I scoffed, crossing my arms as I looked at her in disbelief. "I do the work but it's your misery?"

"Oh c'mon, Toes! I'm excited to see a complete work of yours for the first time," she groaned, wearing the rubber gloves on her hand and started with the dishes.

I lifted my eyebrow at the new pet name. Then I glanced down at my barefoot and shook my head in amusement. "Oh great! You decide my pet name based on the footwear I'm wearing."

Khloe laughed, provoking me to smile. "So you've noticed. There's a pair of slippers near the door. Wear it then I will start to call you 'slipper' if you don't want 'toes'."

I rolled my eyes and turned to the art materials on the desk. "You're so extra," I teased, earning a light chuckle from her.

Once I prepared all the acrylic colors I needed, I placed my phone on the desk and turned up the music— a classical piano piece I would always used whenever I do my paintings. The melody was always hauling me into a world of my own, guiding me away from reality. Not only it was my personal favorite but the piano piece was also important in my heart because it was the music I was actually playing when Cassie found me at the orphanage. And then with so many other reasons...

"What's the title?" I heard Khloe asked.

I peered over my shoulder to see her still busy at her task. "Butterfly Waltz, Brian Cain," I replied, pinching a tiny bottle of phthalocyanine blue on the wooden palette.

"Sounds like a kid lullaby to me," she concluded.

"Yes, it is...at least for me," I confirmed to her while damping the tip of the brush on the paint. "My mother used to play it to me using her old oak wood piano before I sleep when I was a kid."

I heard her footsteps drawing closer to me. "Do you still ask her to play it for you?"

As I sensed her presence behind me, I twirled sideways to gaze at her and shook my head. "No, my biological mother is already dead so..."

Khloe froze. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought..." she trailed off as she pinched her left ear uneasily.

"No worries, Klo." Leaning forward, I kissed her cheek to make her feel at ease.

She seemed to relax and collapsed her body on the couch. "Do you mind telling me about why you ended up in the foster system?"

Focusing back my attention on the canvas, I gently stroke the brush on the white material but answered her nonetheless, "There's nothing to tell, Klo. They're scarcely pieces of memories that are slowly fading away from my mind. It just that my mother died due to an incurable disease when I was six and my father was shot to death because of an unknown reason when I was almost nine. I don't remember, actually."

"Do you miss them?"

I shrugged my shoulder. "Sometimes. And when I do, I would visit their grave."

"Didn't you have any relatives to adopt you after your father's death?" she inquired curiously.

"Nope, not that I know of. But I'm pleased to be put into the system because I found my place again with my foster parents," I stated with a smile while brushing a lighter shade of blue on the canvas.

Khloe sighed. "I guess you're lucky."

"I am."

After a comfortable silence between us, while the waltz was still playing, I sensed Khloe rose up and then came to stand beside me. She was observing the canvas before she turned her head to look at me.

I giggled at her weird behavior. "What?"

"What are you planning to achieve in that painting?" she asked, producing a smirk on my lips.

"Well, your Dad painted a strip of shades of the sunlight in the middle of the canvas."

"And?"

"And I think it's weird to paint a strip of light without an image of the sun so I'm seeing a picture of a polar night. You know, a season when there's no sun throughout the day, I need a lot of work though," I ranted, motioning my hands like they were gonna make sense at all.

Khloe tapped her chin adorably. "Whatever, stop it."

My eyes widened. "Why? You wanted me to do my work and I'm about to start then you want me to stop?"

She snickered at my surprise. "No, I mean stop for now. You can continue it the other day. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it's already late so put down your tools and let's go to sleep now."

I sulked. "No, I don't want to sleep yet."

Khloe whined, encircling her arms around my waist. "But I'm pretty tired, Toes."

"That's unfair," I fussed. "I'm also exhausted."

"Then let's go to sleep," she murmured, nuzzling her face into my neck.

Oh gosh, I could easily fall into her arms because she was so cuddly and warm but at the same time, I wanted to relish my brief freedom. I wasn't allowed to go out at all for the whole weekend so this was really all I could have for now.

"Klo, I don't want to... Let's stay awake, please," I implored and she drew a little bit to look at me. I pulled out my best puppy face I could muster to convince her. And it looked like it worked when she sighed with a tired look in her eyes.

"Alright, keep me awake then."

I frowned before placing down my paint tools and ushered her on the couch. I sat at the edge of the furniture and Khloe followed, resting her head on my lap as she occupied the rest of the space.

"Hey, I told you. Don't sleep yet," I whined, pinching her cheeks.

She upped her eyebrow in amusement. "Is this how you're going to keep me away from sleep?"

I pinched her nose this time. "Breath!"

This time, she glared up at me, swatting my hand away. "Not my nose, Toes!"

I laughed. "What do you suggest then?"

Khloe gave me a blank look but I knew that there were already thoughts coming up into her brunette head. My ocean blue eyes remained on her earthly pair and slowly, I was losing myself again into those worldly windows of her soul. I couldn't help but caress her soft chocolate hair while my other free hand stroked her comely face sweetly. It was captivating to look at her in deep thought and concentration with lips bite and all.

"Skinny-dip?"

Her deep voice depleted me away from my daze. "W-What?"

A foxy smirk appeared on her lips. "If you want me to stay awake, let's do something crazy. There's a lake nearby Quinn's mansion miles away from here. We can go there right now and swim completely naked."

I gulped at her suggestion. I couldn't even imagine seeing her naked body, let alone to be touched by her bare skin. Her idea was tempting yet scary. "It's cold outside."

"The more we should go. Or else, we can just sleep now," she muttered, burying her face into my stomach.

I giggled at her breath brushing my skin beneath the thin fabric of my shirt. "Klo, that tickles."

"Let's skinny-dip," she mumbled against my belly, causing me to squirm tensely.

"Are you that desperate to get me naked?" I covered my tension by teasing her.

She peaked at me and my newfound confidence waned instantly. That look in her eyes was different— like she was undressing my core stark-naked. "Yes, Hilary. I want to see you naked. Is that too much to ask?"

I gulped, her statement brought shivers to my spine.

Khloe sat up then faced me. And she was confidently leering at me that she had caught me in a terrible mess. Was she aware now of my feelings and thoughts of her? So she wanted to test me? To get something out of me by saying spontaneous things I wouldn't be able to handle. Was she planning to torture me until I confess to her?

Or this was just her?

Being mischievous, leading you into her own trap then once you fall, you'd be her laughing stock.

No! Stop, Hilary! Relax, this is not you!

Dammit! Think before you act!

Khloe would never do that to me anymore. After everything, she was better than that. She was just simply teasing me like the abnormal goofball she is. I was just reading her too seriously because of my own feelings for her. Feelings are intoxicating. They were like a virus spreading through your thoughts and behavior, like widespread influenza. It might drive you crazy or worst, kill you so I shouldn't get the wrong idea and get my hopes up, or reeling my mind with negative thoughts rather. Calm down!

"Okay, skinny-dipping it is," I said with a straight face but of course, deep inside me, my heart was racing.

Khloe's assertive look shrunk down, her eyes drifted away from mine then she pinched her ear, indicating that she was also nervous. "I was— I was joking but I'm serious about skinny-dipping though."

See! She might appear confident on the outside but every person has a fissure. Not that I would destroy that imperfection but I wanted her to willingly open up to me. Like Quinn had advised me, seize her in non-oppressive ways.

"Then let's go," I muttered, getting up on my feet.

Khloe laughed softly before holding my hand, then we were off outside.

•••••

Under the painfully obscure night, Khloe and I reached Quinn's Mediterranean mansion by the lake. There were lampposts around the structure so it was really not that that hard to see a part of the large body of water in front of us. I cautiously stared at Khloe in the driver's seat, anticipating what could happen. Though we were inside her car, I could feel the cold air through the first layer of my skin but there was heat under my body that I couldn't even explain.

"Chickening out, Boots?" Khloe spoke, clutching my hand on her lap.

I laughed anxiously. "No way... You are!"

Khloe stared back at me with a snide expression on her face "Are you challenging me? ME?! Khloe Summer, the first daughter of Victoria, the Roman goddess of victory?"

I snorted. "You're a nerd!"

"We're nerd together."

Heat migrated to my cheeks. It was really a sweet sound to hear that she was placing us both using 'we' and 'together' in a sentence.

After my internal stupor, Khloe and I hopped out of the car, and immediately, the cold autumn air hugged our bodies like cages. We were just both wearing our sweatpants and thick sweatshirt. Khloe's foot was clad in a pair of black Nike sneakers while I was wearing my ankle-boots, explaining why she had called me back to 'Boots',

Holding each other's hand for comfort, we walked to the lake bridge and once we reached the edge of it, Khloe turned to me.

"Ready?"

I nodded at her, though I was freaking out of cold and nervousness. I was already used to showing off my bare body with my cheerleading squad due to our club-shared shower system but this was different. I was going to expose my body to the girl I had feelings for. Not any other person but Khloe Summer alone could make me feel insecure about myself— in all aspects of myself. However, even though I was afraid of baring all of me to her without any assurance of her feelings toward me, this could be an opportunity to make her see me. Maybe not in an emotional state, but the physical attribute is also a huge element to make someone interested.

Aching to get on with it, I freed her hand and boldly gripped the hem of my sweatshirt, and yanked it off my body. Then next were my red sweatpants which I just tossed down on the wooden surface. I refused to stare at Khloe, knowing I wouldn't manage to handle her eyes on me. I could feel her stare as I hugged myself, doubling the beat of my heart.

I was shivering, and I didn't know if it was because of the chilly air or I was just so anxious. I stepped forward only covered with matched brassier and thong before I bit my lips, gathering all the courage. Beneath the night, I dressed out of all my layers, revealing my naked physical self to all the stars and moon, and to Khloe.

And everything didn't matter anymore as I found myself gazing back at her.

She was standing there frozen. Though it was dark, I could see her eyes in tremendous admiration while her mouth ajar.

It was then my insecurities turned into towering confidence. I got Khloe interested and it was truly an achievement. This was my first time seeing her in this state— where she was conveying a profound yet expressive emotion through her orbs.

What emotions? I feared to describe because it felt so immeasurable, knowing it was impossible for me to grasp. So I let myself not think about that anymore.

A smirk emerged on my lips. "What? Chickening out?"

Khloe snapped out of her frozen state, her eyes locked on mine briefly before taking them off. "N-No! Of- Of course not!!"

"Then strip already, Stutter," I teased with a giggle. Carefully, I dropped myself off the bridge and the water felt like a thousand needles poking my skin. "Oh god, Klo! It's fùcking freezing!" I screamed out loud and turned to glare at her.

Khloe was in the middle of pushing her pants down and I deeply swallowed at her tan legs, especially her top body clothed with Reebok white sports bra. Holy s**t! Why she didn't inform me of this?! She had a freaking six packs!!

And in a matter of seconds, she had already stripped herself naked. It was so damn cold underneath the water but my cheeks were burning hot while I gawked at her body. She had a pair of perky breasts, curved hips, toned legs, and tanned skins. Khloe's form from her hair to toes reminded me of my favorite Leonidas chocolate bar. In short, I wanted to devour her at this moment.

And those abs! I should've known all along because she was a soccer player.

There was this familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, threatening to crawl between my legs. I never knew she was hiding a sexually seductive goddess inside her. She must be the first daughter of goddess Venus.

Good lord! Stop being a perve, Ry!

"This is a bad idea," Khloe yelled out as she dipped herself down into the water. "We're gonna die of hypothermia if we don't get out within five minutes. It's so cold!!"

"It's fine, I would die happy," I whispered to myself.

"What did you say, Boots?" Khloe asked as she swam closer to me.

Shit! I wanted to seek any heat at this moment and I knew Khloe was the only one who could give them to me. This was the opportunity to touch that abs. You can do this, Ry!

Without any shame, I met Khloe halfway and embraced her against my body. I could feel her tensed at the touch. Well, I was also surprised at myself for making a move to her. Couldn't help it though. It's one of the best feelings to hug someone you adore, not to mention, our chest was against each other, our hearts were closer to each other, almost one. Her heat blending with mine was an overpowering feeling and it almost put me in a trance.

However, my main goal was to feel her abs with my hands.

So without any further ado, I turned her head and kissed her hard. Khloe was stunned at first but she kissed me back. Pulling our naked body closer, she deepened the kiss causing me to release a throaty moan. Gosh!

Kissing her was only a distraction so I got to the main purpose. Slowly, I inched my hand on her stomach. And once I touched those six packs, rubbing them sensually under my hand, it was already official— I wanted her so much. I would always need her, not only physically but also in all aspects. I knew that I considered her as mine already but I also wanted her to know that I was also hers. I needed Khloe to make me hers or else, I would go crazy.

However, that illusion shattered when she suddenly jerked back. I opened my eyes to see her in a deep frown and that tedious look on her face caused me to shrink at my own place.

"W-We should stop. I don't want us to get sick," Khloe muttered with cluttering teeth. After that, she swam back to the bridge and climbed on the stair, leaving me in a cold mess.

Feeling myself getting weakened by the cold water, I, too, propped myself up from the water. Covered with the bath towel she took with us, Khloe walked up closer to me and wrapped the fabric around my trembling body.

With rough silence, we dressed in our clothes and then we headed back into her car.

I glanced at Khloe as she turned on the heater. I knew she was mad because we were not supposed to go that far. We had set a boundary to each other and made a deal of just 'kissing benefits'. And I went over without thinking.

Khloe drove us back to her treehouse quietly. Once we arrived, I just followed her trails, scared of what is she going to say if I speak about the predicament. I would also understand if she would just tell me to go home.

Dammit, Ry! You messed up big time just because you just wanted to touch her abs?!

She prepared our cushion in the middle of the living room and I just watched her blankly, not knowing what to feel anymore. However, the touch of her hand carried me out of misery.

"C'mon, change your clothes. It's already four and you're about to pass out," she said, tightening her hold on me.

Her sudden approach gave me hope.

"Please don't get mad at me, Klo. I'm sorry," I uttered and my eyes slowly brimming with tears, gazing at her desperately.

Khloe seemed worried but instead of responding, she reached for her bag and pulled her pink hoodie out. "C'mon, take off your sweatshirt."

I just complied, taking off my used sweatshirt and she immediately slipped her hoodie on me. It smelt exactly like her, relaxing me further.

"Klo," I called out, needing her to speak her heart to me.

With a deep sigh, she sat on the bed and spread her arms wide. I found myself smiling and excitedly fell into her arms. I was becoming needier of her.

"You're always a crybaby," she said, kissing me on my shoulder and enveloping me with her arms around my waist, her chest against my back.

I sighed in contentment.

"But you were mad," I pointed out. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have touch y-your—"

She interrupted me with a booming laugh. "Can't blame you. It's very hard to control."

I whined, feeling myself burning again in shame. "Don't get cocky. I'm embarrassed enough."

"Sorry but I'm not mad, Toes. You just have a habit to assume things. Or you just can't read me at all," Khloe bragged while intertwining our hands together. Her warmth encased my cold heart and body securely.

I played at our joined fingers. "True, you're hard to read."

Khloe hummed.

"If you're not mad, then why did you make me feel like s**t?"

"Really? I made you feel like that," her tone sounded she was shocked.

"Just answer me," I demanded, leaning back against her.

Khloe puffed out a tired breath. "I told you it's very hard to control."

I turned sideways to get a better sight of her. "What do you mean by that?"

I saw her gulped as she met my ocean eyes with her forest one. "I wasn't mad, Hilary. I was— I was controlling myself. It was very hard not to touch you after, you know, after seeing your— your beauty."

Every fiber of my being scorched in a fire at her statement. Khloe was thinking I was beautiful?!

"Sorry, I just found myself entrance at your beauty. I don't even know why I suggested skinny-dipping in the middle of the night and in the middle of the woods. Maybe because I was trying to search for any blemishes of yours because as I get to know more about you, you're becoming more and more perfect every time. I couldn't find any fault at you but I should've known you're beautiful inside out."

And I felt dizzy at her revelations. With her words, Khloe could have possibly liked me. Was that right? Or was I just assuming things again? I couldn't read her at all. She was difficult to comprehend and I didn't know what to think anymore.

"I'm sorry," Khloe apologized again and I had no idea why she kept saying that word. She was not to blame for. I was the one who initiated and sparked the longing inside of me. It was me who had feelings for her to the extent I couldn't even control myself anymore.

Khloe groaned and I realized I was not responding to her.

To cage her in comfort, I opened my mouth to speak, "Klo... d-do you like me?" I asked, my heart was thumping out of my chest, not trusting myself on how I could assemble that question. But I desperately needed an answer because my heart was itching and dying of the thoughts that my feelings might not be one-sided in the first place.

Khloe tensed and I saw fears in her eyes. "Sorry—"

"No!" I hissed. "Answer my question, Klo!"

Her eyes fell and her hold loosened as if she was defeated. "Yes."

A gasp escaped my mouth. The universe must be laughing at me now. I was profoundly troubled about her feelings for me, calling her dense for not noticing how my heart race whenever I'm with her. But in truth, I was also blinded by my own emotions for her, not realizing how much she was eager to help me, to be with me, and to heal all of me.

Every kiss meant something, every touch, and every embrace. All those night talks, eager needs to be with each other, especially those terrible moments I had— Khloe was always there for me.

"I'm sorry for liking you, Hilary," I heard her say softly then, her head was still down as she denied to look at me. "Can you blame me? You're just too perfect. At first, I thought you were a b***h because you're always bitching at me but when I got to know you better, you are far better than what I expected. So sorry for catching feelings when in truth, I shouldn't feel this way. I can understand if you want to end our friendship."

With incalculable joy in my heart, I stroked her face and upheld her chin, forcing her to look at me. At this moment, I knew that Khloe was already opening her heart to me and I knew that this was hard for her so I wouldn't dare to waste it.

"Tell me again," I whispered softly. "Tell me you like me."

She gazed deep into my eyes, her fear faded and was replaced with passion. "I like you, Hilary."

I let out a smile, my heart in bliss and tears willingly fallen to my cheeks. "I like you, too, Klo."

"Wh-What?"

I embraced her so tight and sobbed into her neck out of happiness. "I like you. I really like you, Klo."

I heard her gasp as if a wire around her neck slackened, bringing her freedom. "What? You like me, too?"

"Gosh, yes," I breathed out, drawing away to stare at her with tears in my eyes. "Do I need to repeat that again?"

Khloe smiled back before she laughed. "Goodness, Hilary. I thought— I thought you were—"

"Me too, I also thought you don't have feelings for me."

Khloe gave me a toothy grin and wiped away my tears. "So we like each other."

I clamped my lips inwards, forcing myself not to scream in happiness. Instead, I just nodded as a response.

However, Khloe's mood turned dark again. "But we're not supposed to like each other."

I frowned. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to burden you more so I hid my feelings for you. You already have enough baggage in your life and you told me you're not ready for any romantic relationship."

I groaned. "But Klo, I just said that to subtly tell you that you can have me alone. And f*ck my life, you're the most beautiful that happens in it, actually. So stop ranting about stupid things like we're not supposed to like each other."

Khloe sighed. "But— But you're too perfect. Can you see yourself in the mirror?"

My frowned grown at her odd behavior. She was being vulnerable. Was this Quinn was talking about? Khloe was confident outside but in truth, she had so many cracks inside.

"Klo, of all people, you should know that I'm far from perfect. You are here with me for my imperfection, is that why you're helping me?"

"Yeah, I know. But you're too perfect for me and I—"

I cut her off by slamming my lips onto hers. That shut her up and I pulled away to shut her stupidity further. "Stop thinking about me being too perfect for you. You like me and I like you so can we just make it simple as that? I want to try, Klo. I want to be yours and I also need you to be mine. Please, let's try," I pleaded with my eyes.

I wouldn't let it pass this opportunity. I didn't want to let her go.

Khloe rolled back her orbs before landing them back to mine again with a grunt. "Okay, let's try."

My lips curved into a triumph smile. "Yes!"

She chuckled at my little celebration. "But we should probably get to sleep."

"No! You said we'll try."

Khloe hung her mouth open. "B-But it's already late. Are you not tired?"

I pouted. "But what if I wake up and realize this is just all a dream?"

She stared down at my lips and she leaned closer then kissed me softly. I kissed her back and she dragged us down to the soft mattress, making me squeal between our kisses. She didn't let go but pulled me closer to her and I willing opened my mouth slightly, letting her intensify the kiss. Our tongue battled for dominion, my head felt fuzzy at the taste of her, at the feelings she was trying to convey with her lips.

I rolled my body to hover over her and she tightened her arms around my waist like she didn't want any space coming between us. As our tongue tangled in a wet dance, I shamelessly snaked my hand under her knitted sweater and caressed her stomach.

Gosh, her abs! I was certain I would do anything for this wonderful physical feature of her I just recently discovered.

"Toes, you're tickling me," she muttered, before tugging my bottom lip with hers with a faint laugh.

I moaned out loud, and I could feel myself getting out of control again. I was beginning to get addicted to her and she liked me back. Khloe liked me, too!

"You can touch them tomorrow so you'll figure it out that this is not a dream," she smirked, her confidence came back again and I groaned when she pushed me back to the mattress and buried her face in my neck comfortably. "Stop being a teenage perv and go to sleep."

"I'm not a perv," I blushed but hugged her in my arms anyway and tangled our legs together. "Promise me, you'll let me kiss your abs tomorrow."

She laughed, sending her breath to my neck. "For god's sake, Toes. How many energies still left on you? I can't keep up. Let's sleep, please. It's already morning!"

"Promise me first," I whined like a needy child.

"Okay, I promise," she said, giving me a peck on my neck.

"Goodnight, Klo."

"Goodnight, Toes." I felt her smile and once I was completely satisfied, I slowly closed my eyes, my mouth broke out into a joyful grin. And for the first time, I let myself fall into a slumber full of contentment and certainty.

•••••