Nuturing Evil

“Nothing… Nothing left…” My tone came out vague, vision blurred due to tears, submerged in agony, my voice tightened around my throat, “N..Nothing..” A sob died to escape my lips but to no avail, I was losing hope, I was losing myself. “Tell me this is a f*****g lie.” I whispered, pulling my hairs in frustration, the blood on my hands flowed out, trailing down to my forearm to the ground indicating this malevolence meant nothing.  “This path brought me nothing, I was ready to face it but why did it take away that little girl’s life? Why does it hurt that poor soul? I already had no reason to live but why did you do this to her?” I talked to myself, losing my senses in the darkness consuming my mind taking me to the depth of the abyss from where there is no return. “What am I supposed to tell her?” I whimpered, biting my lips, hoping to impede my fright, to subdue the heartbreak stealing my hope for a better tomorrow. The blood tainted my soul, ravage ruined myself and yet I was unable to find redemption. Falling on my knees, a few tears rolled down my cheek, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move, the tingling sensation of grief was making me numb. “I have lost.” Accepting my defeat at this point, I began to let out the woe building inside me, breaking into a sob, wailing my anguish out. “I have lost it all!” I cried, curling my hand in a fist, The light of hope blew out before I could hold it and believe in a better tomorrow. “You can’t take away my hope like this!” I cried, slamming my hand on the ground, over and over till the point my hands began to hurt, “You can’t take her away too!” I yelled, putting my head on the ground, ignoring the sight before me, not paying heed to the smell of death or blood staining my body all I could see. I have no hope left anymore. “She doesn't deserve this!” The sound of my thundering sob echoed in the air, reflecting the once stone-cold being has now broken. I was shattered.  “Please…” I begged knowing there’s no help coming, drying my throat in pain, I continued to cry, not knowing what to do or say. “Please. Please… Please…” Whispering desperately, my tears flowed out without any halts, only hurting me badly beyond words and I had no nowhere to go at this point. I had no place, no expectations.  “Rylan…” I heard Crystal calling my name faintly, afraid. Getting up, my voice stopped as I quickly wiped my tears, “Crystal?” Calling her name I got up, burying my grief inside me and running to her, not wanting her to see the bloody sight. “Crystal!” I called her, getting out and wiping my tears. “Rylan!” She called, coming to me. “Why are you here? I told you not to come inside, didn’t I?!” I scolded, bending on one knee and holding her hands. “But, I was scared.” She whispered, looking down and gasped a little seeing my crimson hands, “Rylan.. Your hands…” “Oh, it’s nothing.. I just killed a deer, would you like some for dinner?” I asked, shaking my head to ease her tension. “Deer or monster? You have blood all over you.” She mumbled, taking out her bag and taking out a handkerchief and wiping off the blood, “it’s fresh. Do they have animals here? Can I see it?” She asked expectantly. I can’t let her see what happened here. “Maybe later. We are going back now.”  “But.. you said, this is our last journey.” She stopped, the hope I was dreading to lose was vanishing from her crystal-like green eyes. “You said we live together after it. You said we can go to all the remaining places. You said… I will live.” She paused, getting down, tears brimming in her eyes. “I am tired… I don’t want to go anywhere now.” Her voice cracked up, “I don’t want to lose anyone anymore, I don’t want to lose you Rylan… but… but..” She began to cry as my eyes narrowed in pity, not knowing what to say about her condition, “But I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die so soon. I want to live long with you, I want to live with you, I want you to drop me at school, I want to act stubborn, place demands. I want to make friends of my age! I want to live! I don’t want to die, Rylan!” She cried, her tiny hands hugging my depraved form, crying out loud, my heart clenched wanting to console but what will I say? It was dolorous to hear ‘I don’t want to die’ from the person who was going to die.  “Please Rylan, I want to live! I don’t want to die, I have heard death is a painful thing, I don’t want to die, please save me.” She sobbed in my chest, tears soaking my chest but I remained motionless, unable to react.  Please don’t speak anymore or else I will break.  A tear rolled down my cheek as I ran my one hand in her hair, pulling her in my embrace, hugging her petite form close, “I don’t want you to die either, Crystal.” I whispered, on the verge of crying. “I want to watch over you, to teach you a lot of things, I want you to live freely, I want you to dream… I want you to live as well.” I sniffed, trying to suppress my tears, holding her close, never wanting to leave her from my sight and protect her till my last breath but the pain was incomprehensible but that doesn’t mean I will stop searching. I will do anything to cure her and snatch her future away, to give her a long life.  “And I promise you..” Pulling away I cupped her cheek, passing her a genuine smile, wiping the tears on her cheek, I will annihilate anything which dares to put a single tear in her eye, I can’t bear it anymore. Smiling, I made a promise I was willing to fulfill till the end of my life,  “I will die myself but won’t let you die.”