Wrong Idol

6

Irene's POV

"You're smiling..." I heard Joy. I locked my phone and turned a little to hide my face and control my expression. 

Damn it. 

I was too overwhelmed, I totally forgot I was with my members. 

After that little incident of Mono and I, we've talked a lot. About work and books, of course, nothing sort of personal. But it's personal to me. 

And I'm not sure if I should be happy or not but doing so making my feelings for him solidify. Like, how am I able to stop myself from liking him when he's literally just perfection? 

He was so considerate and I was kinda surprised he wasn't even bothered about the fact that people might see us together. 

And then something good happened. 

We exchanged numbers. We f*****g did. 

Imagine how giddy I had been the entire time I was on my way home. And to think that I tried so hard to control myself just so I wouldn't message him first. 

And then he did. 

He asked if I got home safe. Just how many times will he kill me? 

We don't message each other often. I don't message him deliberately too because I'm afraid he'd notice. 

Alarming. That's how I can describe everything that has been happening to me. I can't fall in love right now. I don't have that privilege.

Five minutes ago, he had sent me a message about a book he was reading and was recommending that I check it. The truth is, I have read it a few months ago but I don't want to tell him that so I was thinking of what I should tell him.

But then Joy just had to notice. My fault too. Because if it's him, I can't help myself. I can't stop my facial expressions. 

If it's Mono.

Like always, days went by and I wasn’t able to see him. We attended Music Shows and carry on with our group appointments.

"Unnie, we'll be late. We're up next," I heard Sally whispered. 

"Wait," I answered before fixing my skirt. It was too short somehow I kind of feel uncomfortable. 

We are about to attend an awards show and it'll be a matter of minutes before we proceed for the introduction. 

We all headed outside our dressing room. We bowed in greeting after seeing other idol groups greeting us the same. 

"Your skirt is too short unnie," Yanna pouted and I smiled timidly. I wish I can change but there isn't an extra garment that I can use which matches my members. 

We started walking and I felt Wendy hooking her arms over mine. I laugh at her gesture. 

"I'm so nervous," she stated and I raised an eyebrow. 

"What for? You got this. You always do," I told her and her cheeks blushed. 

That's true anyways. Wendy is so talented sometimes I want to scold her for lacking confidence in herself. 

"You'll kill it, don't worry," I assured her and I saw her released a relieved sigh. 

"Thank you..." she mouthed and it wasn't long before we were already standing in front of the stage, the loud cheering from our fans and other groups can be heard. 

I look around, bowed, and waved to the mass of people. This adrenaline, sometimes it feels surreal how I am lucky to be able to do something I really love. 

Everything went so fast, at least to me. All groups have already been introduced. As for me, I tried my best just so I won't be seen looking at his direction. At Mono's. I can't risk that. 

I saw him earlier and despite being such a dapper and with his natural charms, I can't help but notice this strange look in his eyes. 

The usual spark that I see was gone. Instead, it kinda looked like he was scared and worried. But it doesn't make sense. 

What is he afraid of? What does he fear now? 

I mean, after Seth's revelation of his wedding with Zanaya, things had turned out to be the best for them. Their fans never left. 

So what makes him be like that? 

Those were in my thoughts the entire time. Our performance already ended and I was extra cautious about it because I know he's out there, probably able to see me perform. 

While seating on the designated chair for us, I turned towards my members, "I need to go to the restroom," I whispered. Yanna was about to accompany me but I stopped her. "It's fine," I smiled and she nodded, returning to her seat. 

In no time, I was already finished doing my business to the restroom and was simply washing my hands. 

To be honest, I don't really want to come back now because it's a little exhausting. Aside from the cameras from the show, there are thousands of cameras from different directions of the place. It's awkward sometimes but we all know that these fans just want to keep a memory of this. 

After drying my hands, I went out but had stopped abruptly when I almost collided with someone. 

"Careful..." I heard him utter and I felt all the hair at the back of my neck standing up.

I lifted my gaze and our eyes met, recognition filled his expression and I smile timidly, a phone right beside his ears. 

I can recognize the exhaustion, the stress, and worry on his face, and I had to stop myself from doing something stupid and reach out to him. 

"Zan, I know," I heard him sigh. His eyes were on me and I can still my heart going wild, "I will call you back later okay? Take a rest. I miss you," 

The smile on my face immediately crashes once I heard what he just said over the phone. 

Zan? 

I miss you? 

My heart started beating erratically, I had to raise my hand to support my chest because I feel like it's about to jump any minute. 

So the rumors are true? 

After keeping his phone, he turned to me and forced a smile. 

"Sorry, I was talking with Kaizan. I told you about her before, didn’t I? My girlfriend?"

And that was more than enough to kill me inside.