Future Ex Fiancée

THE GUILT

"Oh . . ." that's all that came out of her mouth when I gave her the news.

Honestly.

I felt like a f*****g jerk.

"Do you want me to move to a different suite or another hotel maybe? You know, I could do that." She asked as she tucked a hair strand behind her ear. That one action seemed so innocent but cute as f**k. But the moment my eyes found her glassy ones, lump of guilt rose up my throat.

"Virat? " Her fingers snapped in front of my face as her voice softly called me out.

I blinked, "hmm?"

"Do you want me to leave?" Her voice small again, as if hurt.

I shook my head responding to her. "No." Her mouth opened and closed taking in my response.

"It's okay. I can leave if you want —" I frowned when she was about to repeat something which was going to upset me even more.

So I stopped her then and there. "No. I said no, Asmita." I pressed on with my decision and got up, leaving her alone inside the room.

My steps halted when I was at the porch, the uneasiness lowered down when I started thinking somewhat rationally.

Fuck, what's happening to me!

Running my fingers through my hair, I sat on the porch. I was very disoriented.

Asmi is very close to me, my buddy. So, obviously, I do not want her to cause any discomfort because of me. She is here because I asked her to. But it felt like that wasn't the only reason to make her stay, there was a lot to it. A lot more.

I sighed and didn't know for how long I sat there looking blankly at the beach and listening to the calming faint noises of the rides hitting the shore. Afterwards, when the moon was up and my surroundings lit in small lights, I got up, brushed my hands on my shirt and went into my room.

And once again, I found Asmi there sitting in one corner doing some work on her laptop.

Well damn, I forgot to tell her that she was in my room. As if sensing my presence, her face snapped up. "Hey." I almost whispered, looking at her small self. A small courteous formed on her face as she waited for me to respond.

"Actually um sorry I forgot to inform you. The room beside me is yours." Instantly her brows furrowed, "this one is mine." I mumbled, scratching my head.

Just then she shot up in one move, "Oh. I didn't know that." Holding her laptop, "show me the room please, " she murmured. I nodded and found myself leading the way. Opening the other room, I forwarded my hand, presenting her the space. Once she entered, I saw her smile a little. "It has a pool." I smiled and nodded.

"Yes it does." I responded. Once, I turned back to give her privacy, but my steps halted when she called out my name. "hmm?" I asked, looking back at her.

I saw Asmi pressing her lips into a thin line but opened up, "it's okay if ver—Veronica comes over." she stuttered but trailed off later sighing in between, "Um just let me know beforehand, I'll be out of your way. I guess." All I was feeling was sheer guilt, I felt like s**t.

"Asmi, I—" f**k I didn't know what to say.

She shook her head and blinked at me, giving me a knowing look, "it is alright virat, it really is."

Asmi~

Once again, Virat showed me his back and went away. I tried not to mind that and plopped on the bed. The next few days, I didn't really see him much. The five-day test match against West indies had begun and I watched it everyday, sitting inside my room and doing my work side by side.

I could never forget that golden moment in Virat's life when he achieved one of the most memorable milestones of his cricket career. Hitting a double century for the first time in first class cricket. I never missed that shine, also that small glimpse of happy tear in his eyes; that bright smile on his face when he flung his bat round and round, celebrating wildly. I was continuously jumping on the floor clapping like a crazy girl watching his success.

I was so happy and was bombarded with calls from his family and mine. Saroj mom called me a lucky charm, my face warmed up and didn't say anything. Later that day, I waited for him to come back as I had prepared a special treat for him.

It was already almost midnight when the main door of the villa croaked open. I shot up at the sound of the couch where I had almost drifted away earlier. Then there was Virat who slowly shut the door behind him and lit the lights. His eyes widened when he saw me. He mouthed my name and I smiled sleepily. I walked over to him and flung my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"You played so well virat, my God I am so so so happy." I rocked his shoulders but, in response, rocked myself against him. He was so stiff against me. "Congratulations." I whispered, my face still clung between his crook of his neck. I was so ecstatic that I was out of control. But at his unresponsive behaviour, I myself froze and backed out slowly.

Virat~

I was shocked.

She was too.

I did mess up.

Fuck, I didn't expect such a warm welcome when I came back in the middle of the night after celebrating a little with my playmates and coaches. I was glad that I had the extra key to the villa. I didn't want to disturb, most probably, sleeping Asmi, who usually worked all day talking strictly to her juniors; which, by the way, I found kind of hot.

No judging.

She is usually so sweet and sometimes moody, but I never saw her ordering around. When she demanded explanations for those lazy a*s lads, I was impressed. Man, she could make them s**t their pants. But the second she hangs up the calls, she gets back to be Asmi again. The one who's herself.

But when I found her still hugging me as if she was genuinely happy for me; I didn't take it well. I was stiff like wood; her warm breath was constantly hitting my neck and those poundings of her heart met mine. God damn it was beating so hard.

And then there it was, disappointment.

When she backed out, there was a churn in my stomach when she hid her real feelings with a smile. Holding my hand, she dragged me towards the couch and offered me a bowl. She was blabbering about something afterwards, but I couldn't help but notice how amazing she looked in her messy bed hair and droopy eyes. In those SpongeBob Pjs and spaghetti tees she was rocking an adorable look. Her bare pink lips were puckered in one small pout. I was snapped out of my most probably inappropriate thoughts when I saw a small frown above her right brow.

I noticed she had stopped talking, "did you say something?" I'm just an i***t.

"I said, you could eat it. It doesn't have sugar. I used jaggery." I looked at the small bowl and then at her, "you don't have to eat it if you don't want to."

Before she could take away the bowl, I snatched it from her hand and started to eat it as if it had been starved for ages. My eyes widened when I realized the taste, "it's my favorite." I incoherently mumbled and looked at the empty bowl. I heard her chuckle.

"Mine too. Wait no. It's the third favorite." She tapped her under the chin, thinking. "Definitely after rasgulla and brownies." She spoke so thoughtfully it made me laugh. Afterwards, she yawned and rested her head back. I saw her drift away after a while. I poked at her shoulder, "Let me sleep. There was so much work today." She mumbled sleepy and so her body slipped on my side and in no time her head was resting on my shoulder.

Mindlessly, I caressed her cheek, so soft. I deeply sighed and called her out again. "Five more minutes." I heard her mumble. I smiled, looking at her innocent features. It was like she was pulling at her. She was pulling onto my heart. I shut my eyes closed but it didn't shut continuous thoughts, especially when Asmi's head was resting on my shoulder. Soon after, I was cold out when I was eloped facing flowers scent and sounds of deep breaths.

Asmi~

I panicked a little with a stiff neck when I found myself sleeping on the couch next to virat. I rubbed my eyes and suppressed my urge to groan. I got up slowly and put the thin duvet on virat, stepping back into my room.

The entire day, I tried my best to avoid him. He didn't try to approach me either. Most of the time he was on call, most probably talking to his girlfriend. I rolled my eyes and tried not to let that thought bring bitterness to me. So I decided to avoid it by reading a nice book.

And it did work, until.

I was so engrossed in the story where the male hottie was about to kiss the girl who was quite cold-hearted from the start. I turned the page and slapped my legs into the water as I was sitting at the edge of the pool taking advantage of the cloudy weather. Then there was a throat clearing, my lips pursed and I knew who it was. I looked back at Virat, who was standing at the room's threshold leaning onto the frame.

"What's going on with you?" He asked, scratching his stubble. He looked hot doing that. I cursed under my breath.

I shrugged at his arched brow, "nothing."

"Are you trying to avoid me, Asmi?" I gave him a blank look.

Of course, I was trying to avoid him. He doesn't need to know that.

A few water droplets fell upon me, it was about to rain. I sighed and got up. Brushing up my clothes, I turned. I backed up when I found a virat in front of me."Don't do that."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "don't do what?" And I took another step back, looking at his advancing steps.

"Stop avoiding me. I don't like it."

"What are you —" My eyes when I lost my balance when my leg slipped on wet tiles. My hand reached in the air to hold onto something and, well, I just happened to catch Virat's hand.

Take him with me.

Into the pool.

To f*****g drown.

There was water everywhere, in my eyes, ears, mouth. I couldn't breathe. And I was falling, deep into darkness.

Virat~

This was ridiculous. Asmi was avoiding me again. I mean just because she slept next to me, with her arm around my waist and her face on my chest. Safe to say, that was one of the best sleeps I've ever had.

And now there was guilt. It felt like I was somewhat cheating on Veronica. But I was cheating on Asmi too. Technically, she was my fiancée. Ugh, it was messed up. And now that Asmi was avoiding it as if I had a contagious disease. The entire day, she was successful in playing hide and seek with me. But no more, when I found her in the pool area reading a book. I decided to confront him. Enough of her childish behavior.

I hate to get attached to things which I will loose one day. She had said that to me once when I asked her about her relationship status at our friend's wedding. What is doing this just because we won't be together one day? I scoffed, our situation was f****d up and we had to talk it out.

I asked her to stop avoiding me but this girl had to slip and fall into the water. But the worst thing was she took me with her. I was f*****g drenched. I just showered an hour back for God's sake.

I wiped my face when I reached above the water surface. And just then I noticed she wasn't there. I panicked, looking at my sides. I cursed rather audibly and swam under water.

Asmi didn't know how to swim.