One Starry Night

Three Months Ago I stepped out from the building with heavy heart, tears ready to fall. I lifted my head up to keep them from falling. I am strong, before and now but the sob almost came out from my mouth wildly. I bit my tongue at that. Home is the last place of my destination. I can't go home and let my pain to sleep, it is torture, I'd rather choose to be killed at once. I shuddered with my own thought. No, I'm far from that, I'm strong as I reminded myself once more. The sky is so bright. The stars are twinkling, teasing me. I glared at them in return, yet they shine more, as if they were happy. Happy, probably that's him with his love, Zach with Scylla. My heart clenched of the thought. I'm a fool, I choose this. My love for him is impossible, yet I choose to stay by his side for years. I knew this time will happen; everything has its end. The coldness engulfed my system crisping the tears welled at my eyelids. I sniffed too many times that it dries my throat. I felt thirst but not for water but of strong liquid. An invention that will help me through the night. The last time I checked, alcohol was bitter, and I don't like the taste of it, but it was like a flavored lemonade tonight. I gulped until my throat burned. "Aaah." My reaction as I close my eyes. It tastes sweet, weird and I drink some more. "Aaah." I felt bitter but I didn't find myself hating him. Why would I hate him when finally, he has her? He suffered enough and it's time for his own happiness though leaving me a miserable. "He warned you, didn't he?" I'm talking to myself and gulped another glass. "Aaah." The alcohol finally hits my system, I'm swaying as I stand up. "Woops, Stella be careful! hik..." More talking to myself, eh? I decided it is enough, enough for me to put to sleep. I am holding my last shot when I swayed and spilled my drink. Not on the floor, but on a man's suit? Moly! He was pissed! I don't want any additional trouble aside from my state, so I better compensate. "Look, Mr. I'm sorry, I wet your shirt!" I said, and almost giggled because of his reaction. He was wiping his suit hard, and I find it cute that it tickles me. Drunk alert! He looked at me, but I'm not really focusing at him. I saw doubled to be exact. "I can buy you a drink, if you want?" I offered. I licked and bit my lips on the process, unaware. I didn't wait for his reply. The early I can compensate, the earlier I can leave. "A drink, please. hik..." I shouted to the bartender still holding his wrist. I did not give him a choice as my order arrived, but he didn't touch it. I can say, he was staring at me. He thinks, you are crazy! "Mister, please accept this as my compensation of wetting your suit." I said drunkenly. "You're still holding my wrist, lady." He said that snapped my attention to his and I looked at his face. This time, more focused to make out his feature. Only, I am seeing Zach. My eyes began to water. The man clearly surprised by my crying. "Woman and alcohol." He muttered. "Fine, I'll take this. Just don't cry in front of me. They might think, I'm responsible for that." And he gulped it very smoothly. "Another, please!" I shouted, making him looked at me seriously while shaking his head. He was disappointed at you, woman! "Apology, accepted." He said but I cut him off. "Thank you and because of that, it deserves a toast! " I said as I clinked my glass to his, and now empty. "Please, don't go!" I grabbed his arms when he was about to leave. Just tonight, please just one night, let me get over you. "Lady, this habit of yours is dangerous." He said sternly and he takes his seat back beside me. "Quit calling me, lady! My name is Stella!" I whined. "Look, Stella. I don't really mind my suit being ruined..." "Oh, the suit!" And I wiped it by my hands absentmindedly. "Don't!" And he gripped my hand harshly. "Ouch! You are hurting me, Mister!" I glared, but no one in particular. "Quit calling me, Mister! My name is Jacob!" He was clearly copying me. "I know, I know!" I swayed, and my hand up in the air to surrender. "One more drink, please! hik!" I shouted. "Stella, who is with you tonight? Come on, let's call that person." He said almost kindly. If I know, he will be leaving me! "I'm alone!" I said and stooped down my head on the bar's table. "What?" He asked and said some more, but I didn't anymore catch it because I felt dizzy. I stayed that way to be stabled and I remembered I ordered a drink. But he was drinking it. "Hey, that's mine!" The man gulped my drink that I ordered. "One more, please!" I ordered again instead. "Enough, you are already drunk! Where is your place? I'll hail a cab for you." He suggested but I lay my head down again. Feeling stable, I looked for my drink which is now empty. "You!" I pointed at him. I noticed; his ears were red already. He is drunk too. "Order, no more." He commanded and fished some cash from his wallet. I was eyeing him as his muscles move. Sexy. The word was floating on my mind. He was seriously texting with his phone as I continuously stared at him. Not good. I am seeing Zach in front of me, all smiling. I gulped and licked my lips while looking at him as he was staring back. I reached for his hands and held them with mine. I smiled, it was a happy dream and Zach did not shove me away instead, he let me. The next seconds, my hand was on his face as he stiffened. I looked at it for the last time very lovingly and fondly. Again, he let me. His eyes mirrored mine, we stared at each other without blinking. "Stop." He said very lowly as he gripped my hand weakly. I understand, at least he gave me a chance to caress his face for the last time. "Stella, come. I'll send you home." And I obliged. I am drunk, but the pain is so raw. The alcohol failed me, I didn't forget him, all of him. I was staring at his back as I'm slowly following him. I'm happy to know that at least he cares for the last time. "Get in." He opened his car door for me. I silently obeyed. He started the engine and rolled off. "I don't want to go home, alone. Please." I pleaded, hoping that he will grant my wish, just for tonight. He didn't say a word and a hope inside of me grow. I did not fall asleep during the drive instead; I was awake but not aware that the car was on stop already. He was gripping his stirring wheel hard while on deep thought. And I acted what I really want to do with him. I hold his face and he stiffened immediately at that. "Please, consider me for tonight." I said not knowing my word, what exactly I want. The tears are welling up again causing my eyes to be glassy. One more blink, they will fall, and I know it will be non-stop. "Please." I begged once more but he didn't move. His jaw clenched instead, and I did what my mind tells me to do. I slowly inched my face at him, ready to close our distance. This is so brave of me to do this but I'm testing my luck for tonight. "Please, just for tonight." My last beg because the next second, I know, he is already kissing me. Hard enough to tear my lips. I blinked several times to make sure the situation I'm in. He groaned as if telling me, why I'm not moving, responding to his kiss? I still didn't move; I can't believe he considers it. I was out of breath and gently pushed him for some air. He was looking at me in questioning eyes. I saw fire and want? He wants me too. "I.." I started but I really don't know what to say. With my hesitant look, he chuckled as he gently played his chin. Sexy. Goodness, what's with that word! I touched my lips and it's tingling. Over shadowed with my want for him, this time I kissed him by surprise. I moaned in desperation, wanting to feel his lips moving in sync with mine while grabbing his hair. He gasped as I shifted from my seat and sit on his lap. With my bold action, one cannot hold long, but give in and he is no exemption of it. The air was on fire, the car was on fire, our body was on fire. This is my first time, yet I feel very expert in doing such. "Don't." He said when I tried to undo his suit. "But..." How can we do the act if we are fully dressed? He kissed me one more time and whispered to my ears. "Sweetheart, there is a better place for this." He said sending chills down to my spine. I bit my lips thinking that better, soft place - bed. "Come." He said tugging me. I excitedly grabbed his hand, my whole body was tingling of the thought, of what will about to happen. I can say, he feels the same as our strides were fast and long, and in no time, he opened a door that leads us to his room. A room I saw for the first time. A room I can't define as he swept me off my feet and he tossed me on to his bed. The next event was blurred for my mind to remember. I suddenly felt so weak, yet strong in mimicking his actions. The pleasure went on as I welcome the whole him inside me. He gasped as I feel the pain inside my core. Oh! Then, I passed out remembering the feeling of ecstasy. - - -