My Four Last Hopes

Chapter 3: The Funeral

Khloe's P.O.V.

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I stared down at my mother's lifeless body in the casket. I keep waiting for her to sit up, and scare the sh,it out of me. To tell me, this was a big joke on me.

That never happened. Mom is really dead. This is it for her. She's really dead.

Part of me feels.. hollow. Almost like the reality hasn't hit me yet. Not that it would affect my reality much. Mom wasn't helpful before. I was the one taking care of my little brother and sister from states away.

Another part of me feels.. relieved. I feel guilty for feeling that in the first place. What kind of daughter feels relieved to lose their mother? Even if she did treat me badly.

I guess I'm that kind of daughter. This is the woman who gave me life. The person who caused the most pain in my life. Now she's gone. For good.

Someone wrapped their arm around my waist, and I tensed.

"I am so sorry for your loss," Uncle Melvin said to me.

I pushed his arm off of my waist. I hate that the old people here think that they can just touch me however they see fit. It's disgusting. Everyone all day has either hugged me, patted my back, wrapped their arms around me. All of them just touching me without even asking.

It's overwhelming.

"Say that to her children that she actually cared for." I spat.

Then I turned on my heel, and stomped into the next room. There are so many more people here that I never thought would show up. Mom's family are all just as fake as she was. Giving me their condolences. Pathetic.

Every person here knew how that woman treated me. No one cared then, and they're still trying to brush everything under the rug now. And I'm still staying silent like always.

Why can't I just stand up for myself? I'm a grown adult now. I know that what I went through wasn't right. I should be yelling at everyone here.

Honestly, I shouldn't have come in the first place. I don't belong here. I feel so out of place.

Where the hell is Ava?

"Khole," my aunt Tara stopped me. "The caterers are looking for you. And the flourists need their check. Oh, and the owner of the funera-"

"Okay, tell them all I'll be right back." I interrupted her.

I turned around, to come face to face with more family members.

"Dear, where is Ava? Did you not tell your own sister about your mother's passing?"

"She should be here. You should have forced her to be here."

"Khloe, they can't just wait. You have to pay the people."

"Khloe, we're out of ice."

"Did you really not tell Ava about this Khloe? Shame on you."

"What kind of sister are you?"

"I know you were always jealous of Ava, Khloe, but you should have dragged her here by her hair-"

"Maybe one of you should have done that then!" I shouted, making them all stop.

I shook my head as they started t whisper to themselves.

"Ava is her own person. She's an adult. She's the oldest out of all of us. She should be the one handling all of this with me." I complained.

"Poor dear.. She's overwhelmed."

"Well, what did we expect? It's Khloe."

I opened my mouth to snap at my family members. Then I caught sight of Celia. She's crying while one of our distant relatives holds her. I decided to take a deep breath instead.

"I need some air." I mumbled.

I rushed to the back door of the funeral home. I leaned against the building, and slowly slid down to my butt. I pulled my phone out, and tried to call Ava for the thousandth time since I've been home.

"Sorry, can't pick the phone up right now. Leave me a message." My sister's cheerful voicemail rang through the ling.

Beep.

I sighed.

"Ava, where are you? You're really making me do this all alone? You sh.itty a.ss sister." I said, my voice cracking. "Please.. Please call me. At least let me know that you know Mom is dead. What am I even supposed to do, Ava? I still have lawyers to meet with tomorrow, and estates to go through. Come help me. Please," I begged.

Then I hung up, and wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes.

Who am I kidding? Ava isn't going to come help me. That would involve caring about someone other than herself. Still, I'm surprised she didn't come running to see what kind of money she could get.

This is all so fu.cked.

"Khloe! There you are!" Aunt Tara said as she came out of the back door.

I've literally been out here for less than ten minutes.

"Aunt Tara please, I just.. need a few fu.cking minutes." I said.

"Don't use that kind of language with me." Aunt Tara snapped.

I chuckled hollowly.

"Get up, you have things to take care of." She ordered me.

I wonder what they would do if I just.. ran away.

"I will be back in ten minutes. Tell everyone to wait in the kitchen for me," I said.

Aunt Tara scoffed. She grabbed my arm, and yanked me to my feet. Who would have guessed she'd have enough strength to do that?

"You are going to deal with this right now you selfish brat. You're not going to make everyone else wait to grieve the loss of their loved one because you 'just need ten minutes'." She spat. "Think about the rest of these people, and how they feel. You've always had a selfish streak, but honestly, Khloe, this is ridiculous."

"I'm being selfish?" I asked incredulously.

I ripped my arm free from Aunt Tara's grasp.

"She was my mother! I should be allowed to be as selfish and distraught as I fu.cking want to be! I should be grieving my heat out while someone else takes care of all this bullsh.it!" I shouted.

Aunt Tara scoffed as she shook her head.

"Your loss? Grieve? For what Khloe? You left 10 years ago. Without saying goodbye or telling anyone where you were going. Just poof. Gone just like that." She said as she snapped her fingers.

I glared at my aunt.

"After everything she did to me-"

"Like what?" Aunt Tara interrupted me. "Put a roof over your head? Put food in your belly? Honestly Khloe, what did she do?"

My jaw dropped. Tears stung my eyes.

I don't get to grieve. I don't get a moment of peace. I don't get... anything.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, and squared my shoulders.

"I don't want to hear sh.it from any of you about not forgiving her. Since I apparently don't deserve the chance to do so," I said as I pushed past her and into the house.

I marched to the office of the funeral home. The director is inside arguing with a few different people. He looks like he's ready to pull his damn hair out.

"Alright, let's get this sh.it over with." I said as I walked in.

I set my purse on the desk, and opened my wallet.

"This check is for the funeral home." I said, handing it off.

"Thank yo-"

"Just shut the hell up." I interrupted him. "This one is for the caterers." I said, handing the woman a check.

Then I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Don't even think about opening your mouth. Just go get more ice." I told her.

This attitude of mine is all Aunt Tara's fault. Now everyone is going to feel my wrath. That's the only thing I had in common with Mom. When we're angry, it's a storm that everyone should steer clear from.

"This one is for-"

"I'll take that." The funeral director said as he snatched the check out of my hand.

I turned to him to see him smiling. I snatched the check back, and glared at him.

"If you ever snatch anything from me again, I'll cut your damn fingers off." I threatened him.

The man gulped.

"Th-that is for the music and flowers. Which we provid-"

"And today you provided them free of charge." I said sweetly as I ripped the check into pieces. "That was so nice of you to do. I'll be sure to give this place a five-star review on Yelp. Thanks so much."

"Y-you can't-"

"Oh, I can, and I did. If you have a problem with that, do something." I said threateningly. "Go ahead. Do something."

The man narrowed his eyes at me. I narrowed mine right back. After a moment, he gave up.

"Well, Ms. Nowosielski, it was a displeasure doing business with you. I hope to never see you again. Don't forget that everyone is to be gone no later than 8 pm." He said smugly.

I zipped my purse back up, and tossed it over my shoulder.

"Oh, that's your problem, my friend. I'm getting out of this fu.cking place." I grumbled.

I walked out of the office, and bumped right into the chest of a very large man. I looked up at the man who was a foot taller than me. My eyes widened as I looked him over. He has jet black hair styled to the side. His deep blue eyes feel like they're boring into my soul. He has a strong jaw line, lined with light stubble.

Wow.. He's.. se.xy as hell, and most definitely not a part of my family.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked him.

The man raised a brow at me.

"I'm a friend of the family. I'm looking for Ava Nowosielski." He told me with a thick European accent.

Of course. Ava always gets the hottest guys. So unfair.

"Well," I said. "Get in line."

With that, I pushed past the man, and got the fu,ck out of there.