The Alpha and His Song

Lonely Life Pt. 1

Odette was looking around her apartment. I sighed. I liked this place. I was packing up again. For once, my mom was ending the relationship she was in. She wasn’t breaking up with him for several more weeks, but I was packing up all the same. I remembered when she burst into my place in Nashville. She was furious. She yelled, “What the hell is this place? Why aren’t you at your other place?” I frowned, “Mom, I emailed you. Men broke in and…” My mom instantly grew concerned, “What men? What did they say to you?” I said, “They were obviously crazy. They thought they were demons.” My mom relaxed instantly. She sighed, “You’re very dramatic.” I told her, “They abducted me. My friend Ashley…” I’d nearly said Melanie but something in me cautioned me not to give her real name to my mom. I continued, “Saved me. She set me up with this place so I would be safe.”

My mom was breathing heavily again. She was angry. I asked, “Wait. How did you know I was here if you didn’t read my email?” My mom glared at me, “I’m your mother.” I raised an eyebrow. My mom raised her hand then put it down, and walked away. She muttered, “Just like your father.” My heart skipped a beat. How did I hear that? I didn’t bother asking. She would just become angrier if I asked about my father. We’d had that fight a lot. She’d end up shouting he didn’t want me. I was just a burden to her that he didn’t want. I should be grateful she wanted me and didn’t leave me on the front steps of a church or firehouse. I heard the fridge door slam.

She stormed back into the room, “Pizza? Odette? You have left over pizza in the fridge? No wonder Luke said you’d gained too much weight. I have you on a strict diet, Odette. How dare you disobey my wishes.” I frowned, “I haven’t seen or talked to Luke in months.” He was my ex-boyfriend and we did not end on good terms. My mom snorted, “Who do you think called me to inform me of your move?” I countered, “I emailed you mom. I don’t have your number or I would have called.” My mom’s eyes narrowed, “You don’t have a phone.” I told her, “Ashley gave me one.” I held it up. She took it from me. I frowned, “Mom, everyone has a phone.” My mom hissed, “You don’t.” My blood was pounding in my ears. I yelled, “Give that back. It was given to me, not you. I live alone, and I was kidnapped. I need a phone for safety reasons. You don’t even care! All you care about is the stupid leftover pizza! It’s store bought cheap pizza. I can’t buy the expensive foods on your list. I don’t make enough money to cover it. I don’t know why Luke came into town, but he didn’t talk to me. Honestly, I'm glad he didn’t.”

My mom said, “He couldn't get in the building for some reason, and then you were being shadowed.” I smiled. Melanie had people looking out for me. That was sweet. I shrugged, “Shouldn’t that make you happy? People are looking out for me so you don’t have to worry. I’m just a burden to you anyway.” My mom gasped, “Who is filling your head with such lies? We are leaving immediately. These new friends are a bad influence. All you need is me and Luke.” I yanked my arm away from her. I yelled, “Those are your words mom. I heard you tell your boyfriend before you left I was a burden. You’ve said it to my face many times. I don’t even bother you that much, and you still feel that way. You don’t even leave a reliable way for me to contact you yet Luke has your number! Do you even know what he’s like? He’s abusive mom.”

Now my mom’s eyes narrowed into slits. She said, “I don’t know who this Ashley is but she’s clearly filled your head with lies.” I snorted, “I didn’t tell Ashley about Luke or he’d have gotten beaten up. She’s amazing and fierce. Luke comments about my weight all the time. I’m not heavy. He doesn’t really even seem to like me. I think he might hate me. If I don’t do my hair just the way he likes it his anger explodes. He was so nice in the beginning, mom. I thought I loved him. Then we had s*x and became….sinister and possessive. I couldn’t breathe without him getting mad. He called and yelled at me if I was one minute late getting back to my apartment. I don’t even know how he knew. One day, I was working on a project after school and lost track of time. I ran four miles in the snow to try to get back on time. He ended up being at my apartment. He hit me, mom. He had me committed!”

My mother interrupted, “Tell your sob stories to someone else, Odette. Men are men. That’s the way of the world. Luke can take care of you. He can give you a good life. He comes from a very wealthy family.” I frowned, “You said we do too.” She smiled, “We do.” Then her face turned angry. She said, “Our family turned their backs on me. You can only count on yourself, Odette. You and Luke will be together. Just try not to upset him.” I frowned, “We will be together? Arranged marriages aren’t a thing. Do you know what year it is?” My mom hissed, “You will not be like the others, Odette. You will not turn your back on me, and you will do what I say?” I yelled, “Others? What others? Stop saying Lux turned his back on you! His father loved him. That’s why he took him so that Lux wouldn’t have to live like I do!” My mom slapped me.

She said, “Odette….I’m sorry. It’s just….it hurts that Lux was like everyone else.” I held my cheek. I told her, “If you ever raise your hand to me again you won’t like what follows. I’m not the same girl you left behind this time. I will never marry Luke, and Lux wasn’t like your revolving door of boyfriends. He just had someone who loved him.” My mom rolled her eyes, “You are so naive. There’s nothing wrong with Luke.” I told her, “He’s abusive and controlling. We shouldn't have been together anyway. He’s in college and I’m in high school.” He manipulated me, and I was so desperate for love I fell for it. My mother snorted, “Age is just a number. It doesn’t matter.” I frowned, “Of course it matters. Especially at my age. The law backs me up. Why aren’t you on my side? I’m your daughter.” My mother snorted. I swore she muttered, “Humans and their laws don’t apply to us.” Humans? Was she insane? We were humans.

My mom sighed and told me, “Odette, there is one person in this world you can rely on. Yourself. Why do you think I raised you to be so self-sufficient and independent?” Raised was a strong word for giving birth and occasionally checked in to make sure I was alive. My mom touched my arm gently. She said, “Luke and his family can help us. You don’t have to love him, just try not to make him so angry. His father and I decided once I found out you were a girl that you and Luke would get married one day.” I gaped at her.

I stood. I told her, “I won’t ever marry Luke. We don’t fit together, and he doesn’t love me.” My mom snorted, “Love? Oh, you silly naive girl. Do you want flowers and candy? Luke can buy you those. Do you want to have nice things and a house? Luke can give you those and a mansion.” I interrupted, “I don’t care about that. I want someone who loves me, mom.” My mom hissed, “Love is for the weak, and I did not raise a weak daughter.” I asked, “How would you know? You didn’t raise me.” She went to slap me again, but I caught her arm. She yanked away from me. She told me, “You will never see your little friends again, Odette. You and Luke WILL marry. You will stop this attitude with me. You will give me everything I have deserved for so long.” I told her, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I walked away to my room. She yelled, “Pack!” I slammed my door shut.

I snorted, “Marry Luke. She didn’t even care that he hurts me.” Physically and mentally. I ignored all the signs because for the first time since Lux had vanished from my life someone had cared about me. The girls I worked with at the fast food place had warned me. Luke told me they were just jealous of what we had. I’d never had many close friends so I thought he was right. After he beat me up he blamed me. He yelled at me screaming at me to look what I made him do. How dare he come here and report on me to my mother!

My mom knocked on my door. She held out her phone and left slamming the door. I hoped Melanie was calling. I excitedly said, “Hello.” Luke’s voice came over the phone, “I’m very disappointed in you, Odette.” I sighed. My mom was right was naive. My mother was never going to let me talk to Melanie again. I retorted, “If only I cared anymore about what disappoints you Luke. What did I do this time? I’m terribly sorry I live off my income and maintain a 4.0 GPA. I’m really the worst.” Luke said, “Don’t you speak to me like that. Your mom told me you got yourself kidnapped.” I muttered, “Thanks for your concern.” Luke asked, “Do you know how long it would’ve taken me to track you down? Do you think I have the time to save you all the time?” I told him, “I wouldn’t ask or want you to save me. I’d have rather stayed with the crazy people who thought they were demons.” Luke said, “Odette, you need to be very careful. I am angry enough. Your mother told me you were rude to her.”

I asked, “Why are the two people who claim to care about me, are more annoyed that someone broke into my old apartment and kidnapped me than worried about me? Neither of you care.” Luke’s voice softened, “Baby, I’m sorry. I just tried to visit you and couldn’t get in your building. It just made me angry.” I told him, “That doesn’t make sense, Luke. You could’ve just walked through the front doors.” Luke told me, “One day you will understand. You are mine, Odette.” I rolled my eyes, “I’m not yours, Luke. I don’t even think you like me. You hit me, Luke. You hurt me. You make derogatory comments about me and my body. I’m never good enough, Luke. As you said, I’m too immature. So, I’ll do us both a favor and tell you to find someone who has graduated high school.” I hung up on him.

My mom flung the door open. She ripped the phone away. She said, “I don’t know what I did to deserve such an ungrateful daughter. I’ll call Luke’s father and try to undo the damage you have done.” I told her, “Don’t bother. I don’t want to be with Luke.” My mom yelled, “Life isn’t about what you want.” I snorted, “Of course it’s not. My life has always been about what you want.” She told me, “We are leaving in thirty minutes.” Of course we were. I was happy here. I had friends. Why couldn’t I ever have nice things? My mom yelled, “Have you taken your medicine today?” I yelled, “Yes!”

I clutched my pills to my chest. My one lead on my birth father. He had a blood disorder. I had leukopenia. I had to take these pills to keep myself from getting sick. I had a low white blood cell count that would lead me to get infections easily. Unfortunately, it wasn’t super rare for people to have this disorder. It was rare to have it as bad as I do needing these pills, but that didn’t mean my dad had it as bad as I did. Few people did. I was rare. Yay me. My mom had to take me to some weird out of network voodoo doctor to help me. My mom insisted that wasn’t what that lady was called, but she was old, creepy and clearly into voodoo. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that lady thought she was some kind of evil witch. Her name gave me shivers, Valdoma. She looked at me like she was happy something was wrong with me. I didn’t like her.

My mom came back into my room. I’d left a note for Melanie under my bed. She’d come. I’d addressed it to Ashley just in case. My mom told me, “Go get in the car.” I grabbed my bag and went down to the car. We were going to another new place. My mom came down fifteen minutes later. She threw the note at my face. She said, “Your friend won’t be finding you again.” Probably not. When I turned eighteen though, I could track Melanie down in Nashville. Now that I knew Luke occasionally showed up to check on me I’d know to watch out for him.

My mom muttered, “The last thing I need is some girl filling your head with these modern ideas. Abusive. Honestly.” Modern ideas? By any stretch of the imagination hitting someone you’re in a relationship with is abusive. That wasn’t modern. I told her, “I didn’t tell my friends about Luke.” My mom asked, “Then where would you get the idea he was abusive?” I stared at her. I told her, “Google.” That wasn’t true. The school here had an assembly on abuse. Honestly, my mom was abusive and so was Luke. Luke was just around more than she was. My mom neglected me, but when she was around she was verbally abusive. I was never pretty enough or skinny enough. The irony was that I lived in an apartment and not with my mom and her boyfriends because she didn’t want them to give me attention. When I got older she worried I’d steal them from her, but in the same breath say I wasn’t pretty enough. It made no sense. My mom muttered, “I can hardly keep you away from the internet.”

Nope. She’d kept me away from a lot. I used to love fantasy books. I was drawn to books about werewolves. When she found my hidden stash she threw the books at me. One hit me hard enough I passed out. When I woke up she had gotten rid of them all. She said that no daughter of hers would be some freak who believed in that s**t. I was eight. I still thought that stuff would be cool. Turning into a wolf and running, and being part of a pack. They were like family. I wanted a family. No one ever had my back anymore, but the supernatural groups in the stories did. Not just werewolves either. Other supernaturals did as well. They had their factions, but those factions had their back. The only person who loved me was Lux, and I didn’t even know his last name. I didn’t know my last name either. My mom said she didn’t give me one. She had to have a last name though and so did my dad. Everyone had a last name.

We’d driven to New Mexico when she forced me to leave Nashville. My mom found a new boyfriend pretty much right away. I was left in my apartment all by myself again. Going to yet another new school. There were clear clicks here. Sometimes I swear there were groups that were like catalog models in the schools. They were very fit, the best at sports, and stuck to their groups. They always looked at me oddly. They asked strange questions too. I could never figure out why. Part of me wanted to think they wanted me to belong with them. Guys always flirted with me, but Luke put the last guy I kissed in the hospital. I didn’t want to be responsible for that again. We had broken up already anyway. I don’t know why he was so upset about it. Or why Luke was even around to see it.

I closed my locker and one of those perfect model like girls was standing there. Her name was Roxie. She said, “So, Tess, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” I said, “Nothing. I’m working Black Friday.” I had gotten a job in a retail store here when we moved here. I was working the entire Black Friday shift. The girl whose shift I’d volunteered to cover was grateful. She had a family. Roxie said, “I mean….my mom always makes too much food. You could stop by if you want. We could really talk. Without…other ears around.” I asked, “Why would you want to talk to me?” Roxie laughed, “Hey, we all have to stick together, you know? We aren’t like other people. I mean you and I aren’t the same but…you know what I mean.” I told her honestly, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She studied me. Her jaw dropped. She said, “Wait, you’re serious. You have no idea what the difference between us and them is.” She pointed at some other students in the hallway. I said, “Currently the difference is where we are standing as opposed to them. In general, I mean you could be a model. Your boyfriend and his friends clearly value lifting weight and keeping up their physic. Oh, wait! I know what you mean.” Roxie looked relieved. I continued, “You mean being on a super strict diet. I didn’t realize that was a high school click. I do my best to make enough money to follow my mom’s program. I cheat a lot though because that food is expensive. Some weeks I live off pizza rolls and ramen. They are cheap.”

Roxie looked horrified. She said, “Seriously Tess, stop by my house on Thanksgiving. We need to talk.” I shrugged, “I’m sure I can for a little bit.” Roxie said, “Great. Give me your number.” I told her, “I don’t have a phone.” Roxie frowned. She wrote something down and gave it to me. She said, “This is my email address. Email me. Ok?” I nodded. She walked away and muttered, “They are isolating her. She needs to know what she is. I was hoping she knew because none of us have a clue.” What I am? I knew what I was. A lonely girl whose own mom couldn’t stand to be around her for more than a week at a time. I snorted and walked to my next class.

Several of Roxie’s friends were observing me with new looks. It was like they somehow spoke to Roxie about our conversation. Which wasn’t possible because Roxie didn’t come in here. None of them were looking at their phones so she didn’t text them. Were they intuitive? I shrugged it off and completed my test. I knew I would get an A. Once the bell rang I went to lunch. I was sitting at a random table when someone plopped down beside me.

I knew who it was the second he whispered in my ear. He ran his finger up my arm and whispered, “You call to me. God, I think you’re my addiction. I could have you screaming my name underneath me so fast.” I jerked away from him. I bit out, “Stay away from me Todd.” He jumped up, “Don’t be a tease.” Roxie was beside me in a flash with her boyfriend. God, they should run track. I swore they were just across the room. Roxie practically growled, “Back of spell boy. She doesn’t like you.” Spell boy? Were people into Wicca around here? Darn. Maybe I should’ve asked Todd some questions. He said, “That’s Warlock man to you dog.” I gaped at him. Roxie’s boyfriend snarled. I stared at him oddly before I said, “Todd, that is not how you talk to women. Roxie isn’t a dog, and she was just defending me.” Todd stared into my eyes. He was suddenly flush up against me. He said, “Oh yeah baby, command me tell me what to do.” Before anyone else could react. I grabbed his wrist and twisted it. I kneed him in the balls.

He went down in a heap. The lunchroom howled with laughter. Literally. I swear some of Roxie’s friends were howling. Gosh. Maybe mom was right and I read too many paranormal, fantasy books. Roxie said, “Well, Tess. You know self-defense. The poor warlock man didn’t realize your strength.” I grabbed my bag. I said, “I had a friend who taught me self-defense after…” I trailed off. I couldn't tell these people I was kidnapped or beaten up by my ex-boyfriend. Roxie frowned, “After what?” I shrugged, “Doesn’t matter.” I ran out of the lunchroom. I reached the door when I heard Todd hiss, “What the hell is she to be so strong?” Roxie said, “Don’t mess with people you don’t know, Todd.” He winced and cupped his balls. He retorted, “I told you something about her calls me in.” Roxie said, “Whatever.”

I frowned. Roxie’s boyfriend, Kaiser, was staring at me. I shook myself and muttered, “How the hell could I hear them? It was like they were right next to me.” I walked out the door. Someone said, “So fairies are out.” Fairies? Did someone thing Todd was gay until he accosted me? He did kind of keep to himself. Weren’t we past this as a society? Todd could like who he liked without being called names. He just needed to stop being a creep about it. I went to the library.

After a while Roxie’s brother Rex came and sat down by me. I asked, “Can I help you?” Rex laughed, “Someone is snappy today.” I sighed, “Sorry.” Rex offered, “Todd is a jerk.” I nodded. Rex continued, “You seem really lonely, Tess.” I told him, “Probably because I am.” Rex frowned, “Roxie would love to be your friend.” I told him, “I broke my rule of not making friends in the last place I lived. My mom blew back into town and didn't like them. Now I don’t get to see them. It hurts less when we leave if I don’t make friends. I learned that when I was five. Plus, you don’t want me to be your sister’s friend.” Rex pointed out, “That’s a bold statement from someone who doesn’t know me.” I snorted, “My own mom doesn’t really like me. I don’t see her much, and when I do it’s because she’s been dumped and we are moving. My older brother vanished from my life without a goodbye, and he was my only constant for five years. My psycho ex-boyfriend is apparently stalking me and might report to my mother we are talking. Who knows? I didn’t even know he was in the town to notice he realized I had friends. Like the abusive jerk he is, he didn’t like them. Or it was the fact that I had friends. I really don’t know. I even have this blood disorder from my dad, whom I’ve never met, and when I don’t take them I get really sick and hear voices. Well, it was just the one time because I took them religiously after that. Ok, it was just the one voice but still.”

Rex asked, “What did the voice say?” I gaped at him. I asked, “That’s your question?” Rex nodded, “Yes, and the answer is important.” The bell rang. I told him, “To be continued at Thanksgiving, I guess.” Rex grabbed my arm. I looked down and said, “You’re really strong…and fast.” Rex said, “So are you. You’re coming to Thanksgiving, right?” I nodded, “Roxie invited me and I have nothing else to do. Provided my mother doesn’t show up and make us move or my crazy ex shows up.” Rex frowned. I laughed, putting him at ease, “Don’t worry. If my mom’s new boyfriend is already tired of her, that would be a new record for her. She never comes home for the holidays.” Rex said, “We’ll sniff you out if you don’t show.” I said, “Odd wording but ok.” I walked away muttering, “Sniff me out. He’s not a dog.” I heard Rex chuckle. Today was really strange. Not that I didn’t meet kids that said stuff like this all the time. I did. They were in every high school I went to.

I flashed back to the moment I heard the voice I had just told Rex about. It was my sixteenth birthday. I was tired of taking my pills and didn’t the day before. On my birthday I was going to take them, but my hand shook when I tried. It was as if someone else was in control. It was strange. I’d been dating Luke at the time. We’d just started having s*x and he’d come over for my birthday. He brought flowers. When he touched my back I swore I heard a growl. Luke said I was being crazy. I still made him search the apartment for an animal. He rolled his eyes and complained about humoring me.

The voice did not like Luke. I was startled when she, and yes it was a she, said he was a horrible boy. She’d told me she even had a name. I’d obviously lost my mind. It was strange. Like she was an old soul or something. It should’ve scared me, but it didn’t. I felt as if a missing piece of me fell into place. I tried to keep quiet, but then Luke and I had started making out. She said he was bad at it, and I deserved better. I actually laughed out loud. Which Luke did not care for. He slapped me, and I accidentally answered the voice out loud. Luke slammed me into the wall with his hands around my throat. He asked who I was talking to. He couldn’t have been expecting an answer because I couldn’t breathe. He said he’d done research on my blood disorder and he was prepared.

To this day, I still had no idea what he was talking about. Having a low white blood cell count did not lead to hearing voices. He injected me with something that burned in my veins. He didn’t let go until I passed out. I woke up in a mental health facility with my arms tied down. No one would tell me what was going on. The people there actually looked like they felt bad for me. I spent three days there. I was crying and all alone. I even tried to talk to the voice again. She felt like a friend. It was at that point I admitted, I might be crazy. My mom came and got me. She told me how embarrassing I was. She was mortified. I promised to always take my pills after that. I never wanted to be put in that place again.