Fighting!

Chapter 1

Ayush Malhotra:

I looked at the night sky, moon’s light shining bright on me. Stars shining around it were as beautiful as the moon giving it company. Why does it feel like I’m the only person who is alone in the whole wide world right now?

The tall buildings surrounding the skyscraper that I’m standing in, stood tall and strong. This lonely feeling that I’ve been feeling for the last few months is nothing in front of the guilt that I feel for abandoning my kid at home. Sure, my mom looks after her but I still miss her and I feel guilty for destroying her future.

No child should go through what my kid will face when she grows up. Her mother, my ex-wife who I thought was the love of my life ruined mine and my baby’s life. Before I start blabbering about my depressing sad story, let me introduce myself.

I’m Ayush Malhotra, a 28 year old man standing here at 11pm in the skyscraper of the multi-national company that I’m working in as a Senior software engineer. I have been working since I finished my masters in University of British Columbia. I worked in Canada for a year before I came back to India. I have abundant experience in my field so I got a very good paying job in this company. The reason I came back to India was my father’s health. He had a heart attack and next thing I know I’m resigning my work there and on the plane way back.

I got a job very soon because of my academics and my skills. That’s where I met my ex-wife, Aarohi. She was working in this company before I even joined. Soon after our love story began. I never had a sudden interest or attraction for her but then she proposed one day and I didn’t want to break her heart so I said yes. We went on a date and as I got to know her, I didn’t regret going on that date. Next thing, I know we were dating.

During our first anniversary, her father started to force her to get married. My mind at that time was blank. I didn’t love the idea of marriage nor did I hate it so when she forced me to talk to her parents, I did and they approved our relationship. My parents were not that keen about us. They thought I was moving too fast but I had nothing to lose so I went with the flow and of course I loved her.

We got married in a banquet of her choice. We had her dream wedding, I never imagined my marriage or had high expectations from it so I was fine with it. After 2 months of our marriage, she got pregnant. She didn’t want to keep the baby as it would ruin her carrier but I was already in love with my baby. I just couldn’t abort it. My parents wanted their grand-kid and so did her parents so everyone cajoled her to keep the baby. I did everything to make her feel loved. I said yes to all her wishes and treated her like a queen. I thought we were happy but I never knew what happened behind the doors after I left.

I knew she wanted to work, she loved her career. I pacified her telling that she couldn’t continue her work after the baby is born. She could work from home until the kid grows up to go to school and then she can join the company and work as much as she can. I told her that I would put as much as efforts as I can to help her out with our baby and I thought after all that reassurance she would be happy but I didn’t know I was wrong at that time.

Those 9 months were hectic for me but beautiful too. I enjoyed every minute of it. After those 9 months, my baby Diya was born. That day was the happiest day of my life.

The emotions I felt when I held her for the first time was out of this world. My parents and her parents rejoiced that day seeing their grand kid but she was the only one who hated my baby at first sight.

I never noticed in the beginning but later I started to see small things that felt really odd. I thought she was new at this and she didn’t know how to handle the baby so that’s why she stayed away from her, that’s why the interaction she had with the baby was when she fed her. I thought it was normal and it would take time for her to get used to it but when my mom noticed her behaviour and told me that mothers have natural instinct and humongous amount of love for their kid at first sight is when my mirage broke.

Just after the birth, she became distant from me. She would avoid me or just talk whenever required. I didn’t really care because I was and still is head over heels for my daughter. After 3 months, she started going out. I thought she was at home for so long, she might need some break and enjoy with her friends. I worked from home and looked after the baby. After the pain she went through during the child-birth is nothing in front of this so I was happy to help.

But soon those innocent hangouts became weird. She would come home drunk off her ass which wasn’t good as she had to breast feed the baby. First time, I let it pass but she continued to do every other day. I was pissed and annoyed by her behaviour. My mom stayed with us to take care of the baby when she started getting drunk more and coming home whenever she felt like it.

After few weeks, I had enough and took her to a doctor who said she has postpartum depression. I saw stunned. When I took her to a therapist, we found out so many things and honestly that was the beginning to the end of our marriage.

I was up in my head that we were having a baby that I forgot to notice the hate she had grown for our kid. All through the pregnancy time, she was miserable and I kind of blame myself for not noticing it. If I had then she could have talked to someone and would have been able to process this whole information. But she never did tell me what she was going through. I had to work and look after the doctor’s appointments and when we did talk she would act like everything was okay. Then after the birth, hormonal changes in her body made whole new changes in her life. I still don’t know why she hid all this from me. I loved her and I would have been able to help her through this but she chose to hide it from me. She went through all that alone and after the birth she stumbled very bad.

Her parents and I talked her into seeing a therapist that I appointed for her and she agreed only after I told her how our marriage was deteriorating and it will lead to an end if we don’t fix it.

She saw the therapist for few weeks and those weeks she stopped drinking and going out. She tried to stay with the baby and look after her. She tried to rekindle our relationship but that all came to end when I found out that she had slept with a guy who was her friend’s friend whom she met at a club. When she came home drunk after she started drinking I thought she would stay at her friend’s place and drink to have a change of pace in life but I never imagined her cheating on me.

After I found out, I broke off our relationship then and there. I was devastated. I enjoyed our normal drama free life, I never imagined any one of us cheating on another. Her parents and my parents came to our place as soon as they heard the news.

That night, the day after I found out about her escapades we all sat in my living room. Her parents tried to talk me into this telling that she was turning her life around and it was her illness that made her do it and now she was cleaning up her act. And that’s when she came home too drunk to realize what was happening in our lives.

Her parents seeing her condition didn’t talk much, they took her back to their home town. My mom helped me with Diya, I needed time to process what was happening in my life and all I could see was void.

After a month, I filed for the divorce and won the custody of Diya as Aarohi wanted nothing to do with her. It was petty but she made her choice.

My life was a wreak at that time and my escape was work. I worked day and night. Mom took Diya to Pune where Dad and mom reside in. I stayed here in Mumbai working my ass off.

Look at the time, it’s 11pm and I’m still in my cabin working. I have one of the highest paying job in my company and I own some of the company shares giving me a job security.

I miss my baby, I really do but whenever I try to think about what happened my mind closes up. I don’t hate Aarohi but I don’t love her either. All that we had has hit the dust and though sometimes I get mad at her for throwing away everything we had so easily than talking to me but I feel calm knowing that she was out of my life.

Now, I’m standing here in front of the big window that I had in my office looking at the night sky thinking about how my simple happy life turned so disastrous. It’s been a while since I remembered all this. I usually indulge myself in my work rather than thinking about my shitty life.

But today, it was different. Dad and mom want me to get married so that I can find someone to look after Diya, love her like a mother and someone to love me which I highly doubt. No one would fall in love with the emotional wreak that my ex-wife has made me. I was f****d up and I don’t think any girl would marry me.

I’m not interest in investing my time for some girl who could be just as f****d up as my ex. But I do know that my parents can’t look after Diya for too long and I need to clean up my act and take responsibility for my daughter.

They are forcing me to see this girl that they have chosen for me. And I have no idea how this meet will turn out.