For The Love Of Yuri

(For Yuri) Is This Goodbye?

"End your friendship with him? Have you gone insane?" Erika blurted out just after she heard Yuri's decision. After a while, she just sighed heavily and slightly shook her head in disbelief as she rubbed her temples. Seriously, what was this guy thinking? "So that's it? You're just simply going to end everything that both of you had able to earn for the last ten years?" she asked with slight sarcasm in her voice.

But Yuri didn't say anything. So he'd really decided. She knew Yuri when it comes to decision-making. He would let no one stop him once he decided something, especially as important as this. But then, she couldn't help but to feel sad about Yuri's abrupt and obviously insane decision. She knew for the start that Yuri will definitely suffer for this; not unless his feelings for Wolfram were not as real as it seem to be… not even strong enough to surpass this trial that Conrad might have given just to prove Yuri's strength to fight for his love… to prove Yuri's love for Wolfram.

She sighed again. As of now, that's all she could do…

Yuri, I hope you wouldn't regret this… she sadly thought.

ーーーーーー

The next day…

Wolfram's POV

I woke up the next day like nothing had ever happened. I was still here at the hospital since I haven't got officially discharged because of what I did last night. And then, I suddenly remembered that—that painful memory that I don't want to remember for as long as I live.

I can't believe it all ended like that. The friendship that I really treasured for the last ten years… The friendship that I considered special since my best friend became the first and the only person I fell in love with. That feeling of love that I kept for more than five years here in my heart just for him… I never thought it would be left shattered like that—like a fragile glass.

It's a good thing that we'll be leaving today instead of two days from now since my mom insisted that. And I'm happy that I'll be able to return home after ten years of not being able to have a glance at it. But then I'll be leaving this world—this world that I've come to love—as I bear the unexplainable pain that Yuri had imposed to my heart because of what he decided.

Can this get any worse?

I closed my eyes tightly in anguish. As much as possible, I wouldn't want to remember any of what happened yesterday. As much as possible, I don't want to remember anything that reminds me of Yuri at all. That's because I don't want to remember anything painful that will lead me to crying again. I hate crying… I really hate it!

But the only reason that I've cried for this long was because of the thought that I was completely hurt. I never thought that loving someone secretly without the guarantee that the feeling would be returned will be this painful—in fact, too painful for a person to bear that could possibly lead to insanity.

But then, I asked myself a question.

Did I really regret loving Yuri for more than five years?

Probably before, when I didn't hear all about wimpy Yuri's stupid decision, then I know I could easily say that I really don't regret loving him. But now…

Now I don't know what to answer…

"Wolfram, it's time to go," someone said. When I turned around, I saw Conrad by the door. He was carrying my bag where my clothes were placed. I guess the doctor finally agreed to let me leave this place.

Ever since before, I hated hospitals. But because of always pressuring myself, I was always ending up here. I heaved a heavy sigh before I left that room. Before I let Conrad move out of the way, I said something.

"Conrad, will it be okay if we go back to the house… just for the last time?"

Thankfully, Conrad complied with my request. But he doesn't really know why I'm here. And I don't want him to know my reason for that. This is something that I have to deal with by myself, since this concerns Yuri and me.

And since I'm leaving today without letting Yuri know that I'm leaving, I want to at least leave something here that I only hope he'll find… someday…

I never thought I'll be facing this kind of predicament—or to be more specific and in a milder term, a choice.

It's either I fight my feelings for Yuri despite his decision to end his friendship with me that caused too much pain in my heart…

…or to leave him without his knowledge since I guess it's no use fighting my feelings for him…

Thinking back, I could clearly remember all the good and bad events that we saw and experienced together that I really treasured more than my life since those were really special to me. It really felt like heaven whenever we're together during those times. But right now, I know that it'll just remain here in my memory since I decided to leave everything that reminds me of Yuri…

Everything…

Okay… maybe not everything…

Unfortunately, I couldn't just abandon my feelings for him… It's not that easy leaving that intense emotion that I have for him behind. And hate myself for it. But in any case, I have to try. I don't want to leave still bearing every piece of memory and emotion wherein Yuri was involved. I want to release everything here that concerns Yuri. But for now, the only way for me to do that was to leave something behind that holds every bit of emotion that I have for him.

Reaching out in my pocket, I draw out papers—three folded papers, to be exact.

These are the papers where I wrote those poems—poems that are all meant for Yuri since I poured out my feelings for him through it. I couldn't help but to smile bitterly at those thoughts.

I can' believe it… I can't believe I'll be leaving these behind… I was supposed to give these personally to him when the time comes that I have to reveal everything to Yuri. But because of what happened last night, I guess I don't even have an ounce of strength and courage left for me to do that. There's no use, anyway.

I'll be dying soon because of a sickness… a curse imposed to me when I was younger that made me live here on Earth for the last ten years. But I want to at least leave an unfading memory to my best friend before I completely leave this world for good, even if it means I have to leave a painful memory.

With all of those thoughts, I placed the folded papers on the study table left there. But then, as I slowly placed it on the table, I never realized that my tears began to fall… again. When will these eyes ever stop crying because of Yuri?

But will that ever happen? I guess not.

Leaving something as important as these were definitely not easy. But I have to do this in order for me not to be reminded of the pain that I have to suffer in the future, though I know that it'll be impossible if I couldn't forget my feelings for him and remove it here in my heart. As they say, there's no such thing as letting go… only moving on.

But then I ask myself a question regarding this.

Would I be able to move on as easy as that without the memories of Yuri haunting me?

End of Wolfram's POV

Yuri's POV

The sky that was once clear became dark because of the clouds rolling by. It weren't just any other clouds… These clouds signified that a heavy rainfall was about to come. And for me, it just made me even more depressed than I ever was last night.

I never thought that abruptly making a decision like that would make me feel even more miserable than ever. But the worst part was, I never realized that I inadvertently and unintentionally hurt Wolfram because of that. I only found that out when my mom asked me and Erika if Wolfram had come here. When I said no, Erika suddenly remembered that she heard a weird sound just after I blurted out that I'm going to end my friendship with Wolfram. She said that it must have been him since Mom told me that he wanted to surprise, but then I guess it was the other way around.

And I know that I must have hurt him because of it.

I was hurt by this decision, as well. But at that time, I thought that ending my friendship with Wolfram would make it easier and spare me, at the very least, from the harsh realities that we're facing because of our racial differences. And the thought that I couldn't even love him because he's dying ripped the whole in my heart wider than ever. It hurts to the core and I can't believe I'm still bearing this pain up until now. I can't believe I still managed to do so even though the guilt and regret were practically choking me since last night, as if it's more than enough to kill me and stop my heart from beating any further.

If only I could explain my side, then I guess it would be better. At the very least, I could let Wolfram somehow know something important and needed to be said…

…that I love him…

…I love him more than anyone else in this world.

But then, I know that it's over… I'll never be able to tell him that. I drove him away from me and there's nothing I can do about that now. Frustrated and hurt, I slammed my fist onto my bed and slumped onto the floor, leaning my head back onto the bed and staring at the ceiling. I just sighed exasperatedly now that there's nothing going on inside my mind.

"This is my fault…" I whispered in agony as I ran a hand through my hair. And as I put my face in my hands, I had never felt so helpless… so heartbroken and depressed. I wanted to talk to him to make sure that he was okay, but I couldn't find a least an ounce of courage to do so, as if my strength and courage had been drawn away from me.

But I wanted so bad to tell him that I love him. I had not only loved him more than I had ever loved anyone else, but I needed him more than I ever needed anyone else. I couldn't imagine a world without him and never dared to think about it. And if Wolfram only felt a fraction of what I feel for him was more than enough to keep me happy… as long as I know that he's with me.

X

I found you there quiet and all alone

And all you wanted was to be on your own

It's when they said that you're leaving me here

For the day had come that you always fear

X

I love Wolfram, I really do. But if ever he'll hate me because of my decision, it's okay with me. In fact, I'll even let him do what he wanted. I want him to be happy… and if hating me is what will make him happy, so be it even if it hurts so much. But still, I love him too much to let him go that easily.

X

Your body is being devoured and slowly killing you

But there's nothing I could do for me to help you through

And all I did there was to cry and feel such regret

For I couldn't fulfill a love that I'll never forget

X

Should I fight for him and prove that my feelings for him are true and will never fade as easy as that? Should I convince him to stay with me? Or let him leave me and allow him to be happy, no matter who or what he wants?

Sighing, I decided that I should do the right thing for myself.

This is the last chance that I have for me to do what's right.

X

You're leaving me here all alone, that's for sure

And my tormented heart won't be able to find a cure

For I'll cry in my room with my cold, bended knees

As I try to surpass the pain of love's unfulfilled promise

X

With that in mind, I dragged myself to my feet and walked to the study table just on the opposite side of that room. And then I took a folded paper placed on the table. That folded paper contained something that I should have said to him personally before. But because I'm such a wimp, I couldn't. And now, all I could do was to feel such regret.

But then I quickly dressed and grabbed the paper on the study table. I hurried going down the stairs while placing the paper in my pocket. When I got out, I looked at the sky. It seemed like a storm was about to roll in by I could care less.

Right now, all that mattered to me was to get to Wolfram's house and ask for forgiveness.

And more importantly… to finally tell the truth about my feelings for Wolfram…

…even if it's for the last time…

X

I can't promise to you not to feel this agony

For I won't be complete without you here with me

So I'll ask a favor before you leave me here so blue

Just let me love you for the last time I'll be with you

X

But unbeknownst to me, this would change everything…

End of Yuri's POV

The clouds continued to loom over the sky, draping the world in a smoggy darkness. And after a few minutes more, the rain began to fall from the dark sky. But Yuri doesn't even care if he'll get wet because he's running in the middle of the rain. All he cared as of the moment was to get to Wolfram's house in order to talk to his blond best friend—to the one he loves—just to clear things and ask for forgiveness.

After all what happened for the past ten years that Wolfram became a part of his life, he realized how much he had loved Wolfram more than anyone else without knowing everything about him. But then, isn't that proof enough that he accepted him through everything—even obstacles and differences—that made him fall in love with his best friend?

As he kept on running in the middle of the rain, he couldn't help but to glance at his pocket where he placed the folded paper that holds the key to revealing his feelings.

But unknown to him, a mysterious man clad in red and black was watching Yuri from behind the tall bushes as he waited for an opportunity to do his plan.

As Yuri took a turn to the bridge, he abruptly stopped running when he felt a sharp pain, like a blade had plunged through his chest from behind. And even though it's vague, he could hear blood dripping… fast! Yuri was shaking slightly but he tried his best to look down and take a look. His eyes widened when he saw a katana that plunged his chest.

The blade came out of his chest, dripping with blood. The red essence slowly spread over the top of his clothes, as Yuri began t collapsed to his knees before dropping completely to the ground… eyes opened wide because of shock.

The rain continued to fall harder from the sky. And the man who had stabbed Yuri was still firmly holding the katana that he used to stab the young man, blood on the blade began to be washed down by the rainwater as it continued to drip.

"Finally… I found you! Your mother had given me the hardest time of my life when she sealed me eighteen years ago because of my plan to eradicate you. I'll let her suffer the same way I did long ago… and for sure, she will… now that you're going to die…" the man said.

Though Yuri clearly heard it, he couldn't respond to that. At the moment, all he could think of was his mother, Erika… and Wolfram…

The day he had feared for a long time had finally come…

The day where everything about him would come to an end…

The man started approaching his slowly dying body and carried him rashly, dragging him using his clothes. And then he lifted his body and threw him from the bridge, and still, Yuri couldn't react nor respond to that. His body was dropped on the grassland beneath the bridge and his body helplessly continued to roll down until he reached the edge of the grassland, almost near the violently flowing river. His perpetrator started walking away with an evil smirk carved on his face when Yuri slowly tried to reach out to his pocket to get something, not minding about the pain his wound was inflicting him. And then from it, he drew out the folded papers and put it in front of him. He looked at it as he forced himself to smile despite the pain he's feeling.

"T… Thank g-goodness… i-it's… safe…" And then a tear escaped from his eyes as he placed the papers to his bloody chest—near his heart, to be exact—before mouthing the last words that had escaped his lips.

"W… Wolfram…" he whispered.

And with that, while the rain continued to fall as it made everything wet, he slowly closed his eyes… with a smile—a true, hopeful smile—carved on his face…

"YURI!" Erika immediately approached Yuri's body, not minding the rain that made her wet.

She immediately checked his pulse. But before she could make a conclusion, she saw the almost bloody paper placed on Yuri's chest. Yuri's hands were cold but she took the folded paper and then opened it.

But what she read in it had definitely made her feel extremely sad for the two…

…for Yuri, who had loved his best friend for so long but unable to fight for it because of the law of destiny for the two different races…

…and for Wolfram, who had also kept his feelings for the only man who became his best friend but unable to tell the truth because of intense fear for rejection…

Wolfram,

I'm sorry… I have never intended to hurt you this much when you probably heard our conversation last night. I just found out that you came for me when Mom asked me and Erika if I saw you came to my house. You know what? I could kill myself for giving you this much pain because of my decision—because of my coward, stupid, insane and heartless decision. You were right about calling me a wimp since before and I can admit that now. But I guess I'm already too late. I've made you suffered already. I'm sorry if my decision hurt you or broke you or angered you.

But before you completely hate me because of it, I wanted to tell you something. It depends on you if you will accept it or not. I know that you will call it insane or whatever. But to tell you the truth… I fell in love with you since the say we met, the day I rescued you from those bullies who tried to hurt you because you're new in the neighborhood. And that feeling lasted for as long as ten years—the span of time that you've only treated me as a friend—but I only showed that to you by teasing you and stuff. And I guess I could say that you really hated me because of that. I could never blame you. After all, I am a wimp, right?

I want to tell you something and I hope you would at least care to know. Loving you had become the greatest thing that I've ever done in my life. And I'm willing to love you longer than my lifetime since I know that I'll never feel such a passionate feeling again. After all, you're the only person that I fell in love with for the first time and surely, for the last time. You're the person that I know I'll never meet by chance twice. Even if we belong to a different race… Even if someone like me is forbidden to love a Mazoku like you… I just couldn't bring myself to abandon you and my feelings for you. I know that it's impossible for you and me to be together because of such realities of the world, but I don't care. It doesn't matter what race you are… and that's how I love people. Unfortunately, I just realized that now. And I considered myself a jerk because of it. Saying sorry to you will probably make you raring to shout at me. But I'll never stop you. It's okay with me. In fact, I'll be glad if you did.

I know there's a chance that we'll never be together again because of my decision to end our friendship. I know that we'll never sit on the roof and gaze at the shimmering stars of the heavens; never whisper words of care and love to each other. But it's the only way I know that I'll never feel the pain because of the truth about us. It was the only way. But if you just give me one chance, I'll prove myself to you. I'll prove my love for you… A love that was meant for you… And even if it means I have to give up my life trying to prove my love for you, I'll do it wholeheartedly. But your impending death was the only one that prevents me from doing so. Why didn't you tell me that you're dying, Wolfram? Why? If you could have let me know that… if I knew that you're going to die, I would have done anything for you. Anything… I'd make your last moment here on earth to last forever. I will love you fully and wholeheartedly despite our differences that prevent me from continuing to love you so. I'd beat up every single person in the world who has ever hurt you and will continue hurting you… and I know that it includes me as well but I wouldn't care. As long as I could protect you with my life, with everything in my possession, with what I have and can still give to you. I'm willing to do all that for you, because it'll be one sure hell if you're not here with me. I sure as hell can't live without you.

You probably won't like it when I tell you this. But I want you to believe in every word written here and most of all, I want you to believe me. I have to tell you my feelings now before I completely regret probably my whole life when I didn't tell you that and when you're not here with me anymore. It'll be a hell for me when that happens, but I'm painstakingly willing to embrace that kind of life if ever you're not the one I'm meant to be with. No matter what happens now, I'm willing to live with it even if it hurts me so much. No matter where our lives take us, even if you wouldn't love me and you would force yourself to forget me, I'll always be in love with you. And that will never change. But I hope that's alright with you…

I love you so much… Wolfram…

And I still hope that you can forgive me…

-Yuri-

Erika folded the bloody paper as she sighed and unknowingly cried after reading that letter.

"Why does it have to end like this? You two loved each other but both of you have to suffer because of it…" she whispered.

As she was about to check on Yuri's pulse again who obviously had gone colder than he was a while ago, she couldn't help but to turn around. And her eyes widened when she saw a katana pointing at her by the man who stabbed Yuri.

"It can't be… Ryuuji?" she muttered in extreme shock.

The man named Ryuuji smirked evilly.

"It's a good thing you know me… Erika Shibuya…"

ーーーーーー

Yuri!

Wolfram turned around when he suddenly felt something foreboding. But when he looked around, he could only see trees. Though he was undoubtedly extremely worried and at the same time, scared for some reason that maybe… maybe… something bad had happened to Yuri. He heard something a while back… a voice… a sweet, gentle and familiar voice traveled by the wind uttering hid name gently…

He and his brothers were about to enter a portal materialized by a spell recited by Gwendal earlier when he felt something weird that made him change his focus. Something bad must have happened… but what?

"Wolfram, are you alright?" Conrad worriedly asked.

But it would appear that he didn't hear it. He was too focused on that sudden weird feeling that he felt. But then he shrugged it off forcefully out of his mind. He has nothing to do with Yuri anymore. That wimp… That wimpy Yuri that he loved more than anyone else was the one who drove him out of his life.

He just lost him, right? That's why it's over.

Besides, he was still hurt because of Yuri's decision. As much as possible, he wanted to forget everything—and everyone—that reminds him of Yuri and his feelings for him.

And with that thought, he proceeded to enter the portal… leaving everything behind…

Conrad, on the other hand, felt immensely guilty because of the outcome of the events between Yuri and Wolfram. He never expected that it would come to this. Though it's not his intention to hurt anyone with this, he guessed he already did.

And there's nothing he could do to undo everything that he did which resulted to Wolfram leaving Yuri unannounced.

But he only did the right thing when he told Yuri the truth about Wolfram.

But did he really do what's right for the two of them?

I guess saying sorry to Yuri will not do anything to help them now… It's my fault… Conrad sadly thought as he sighed and entered the portal.

ーーーーーー

Yuri: I lost Wolfram that day without even saying what I feel for him just for the last time… and now, I'm about to lose my own life because of the desire to protect someone…

Wolfram: I felt something bad had happened to Yuri, but then I chose not to pay attention to it. Only to discover something eventually in the end that I made the wrong choice…

Erika: The truth is about to be revealed as the light from the past shines… and with the desire to revive someone important to me, it's about time that I tell that truth to him…

Yuri: Next Time, For The Love Of Yuri Chapter 5 – For The Sake Of Love

Wolfram: I guess I really couldn't forget you… all this time, I really couldn't…