We own the night

Chapter 18

Highways and downs

Roxanne

I prayed to all existing Gods and entities for help. Despite all my grandmother's intentions she couldn't make my father disappear. My physical scars were long gone and even when I begged to my mother on my knees, she denied to say anything against my father. Furthermore, she helped him to make the police believe that I had a bipolar disorder and I need their care. My grandmother couldn't help me anymore. After living one year in the light, immense darkness came into my life again. Everything continued just like I haven't even left for a day. So I decided to hold back my big mouth and try to become invisible until I can leave this s**t hole. Sadly all my savings were gone, but I was glad that I could've helped to my grandmother to get a little better. I went back to work and also collected the cans and bottles from the trash every night to get money for them. I used to sneak out to do that, but one day I was caught. When I stepped into the house my father was struggling to take his shoes off and he turned around. When our eyes met, I felt frightened. He burped and smiled at me kicking off his shoes. I couldn't move from the fear. I was focusing on moving my f*****g legs but they didn't move an inch. My father walked closer and held a piece of my hair between his fingers. He kept looking at and I even held my breath back until he looked all over me and said.

- Well... It looks like you are turning into a woman. - he said and caressed my shoulder. I felt an urge to puke. I knew where things were going. I have been in similar situations but never thought, neither in my wildest dreams that one day he'll try to cross that line. When he grabbed my boob I finally became to my senses. I stepped further.

- Father, you are drunk. - I stated and I got surprised how strong and fearless my voice sounded. He just laughed at me and grabbed my wrists pinching me against the wall.

- Call me daddy! - he said and that was the point when I felt like I woken up. He tried to kiss me but I kicked hard in his genitals and my father shouted in pain.

- f*****g, ungrateful b***h! - he said and for that my mother appeared.

- What is going on? - she asked and before she could've helped father to get up I pushed her against the door.

- Get out of my way!- I hissed between my teeth and felt that my hands were trembling. This wasn't fear anymore, it was anger, sadness, the feeling of being betrayed. I felt like an animal in a cage and they won't stop me from getting free this time. I turned my back to them and heard my father getting up and "running" towards me. I was quicker than him and grabbed an empty bottle from the table. I hit him in his head and my father knocked out. My mom kneeled by his side and tried to stop the bleeding.

- What have you done? - she asked with tears in her eyes.

- Not enough. - I answered and ran to my room. I collected and threw everything that might be necessary into a gym bag grandma bought for me. All my money, clothes, another pair of shoes, hygiene stuff. I rushed down to the kitchen and grabbed some food and water as well. I jumped out of the window and didn't turn back again until I was at a further bus station. From there our house was only a tiny light, the town I knew looked so peaceful and lovely. Only those who lived in this nightmare knew the truth. That behind the idyllic scenario, there was Hell itself. Soon the last night bus arrived and I took a deep breath before jumping on it. When the doors closed behind me I payed for my ticket until the last station, took a seat and opened the window next to me. I grabbed my phone and blocked my parents numbers. A few minutes passed by and I've decided to get my mind off of what happened. I opened my f*******: page and scrolled down until, suddenly a news popped up in my timeline. "A young girl committed suicide due to the bullying she received in school." I put my earphones in and listened to The struts song "could've been me". A wild smile spread on my face for the thought that my life will be f*****g hard but better than ever been. And I knew that I could've been the girl who died that day, but instead I became the girl who survived. I deleted my f*******: account and smiled while I finally rested a little.

I arrived to the last station and jumped off. It was already midnight. I checked where the nearest motel was and headed there. Luckily, it was too late to bump into anyone. I've had enough of excitement for today. On my way to the Motel, I found a shop open 0-24. I walked in and bought some food, cheap makeup, a scissor and several bottles of bleach. After my tour in the shop I stopped at the motel called "Molly's Motel" and entered. A tiny bell above the door alarmed the receptionist that someone arrived. A lady in her late thirties walked out from behind a door and looked at me from head to toe. She was chubby, her hair was up in a messy bun and she had heavy makeup.

- Welcome to Molly's Motel, my name is Susan. How can I help you with? - she asked and at least her voice sounded nice. I didn't want to give her my real name and give a chance to my parents to find me.

- My name is Carolina Smith and I would like to rent a room for a couple of days. - Susan leaned over the reception desk and scoffed.

- Fine. I'll need your ID. A room is 15$ for a night. - I pulled out my ID and tried my best to cover my birthday on it. I wasn't an adult yet. - Susan pulled my finger away and smiled.

- Why don't you just go home? I know what you are going through but your parents must be terrified. Stop this teenage runaway nonsense and go home sweety. - she said and I laughed harshly. I pulled my t-shirt up and showed several bruises from the previous days. Susan only gasped and handed me a key to the room number 6. I thanked her and walked to my room but Susan called my name.

- Carolina. - I turned back and she said in a low voice.

- Come here tomorrow at ten o'clock. I might help you out. - I nodded and thanked her. After closing my door. I rushed to the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. His eyes were staring at me and I groaned. I grabbed the scissors and cut my long hair into a shoulder length hair. After that I grabbed the bleach and started to get rid off my almost black color. I followed a YouTube video step by step and within a few hours, I managed to turn my hair into a light brown color. I looked at the time on my phone and it was already 4am. I've checked my reflection one more time and noticed a large tear running down on my cheek. I smiled at myself and said.

- Nice to finally meet you, Carolina.