Undauntable

Dead weight

Audentis Fortuna Iuvat the top of the single black postcard inside reads.

Pulling out my phone, I type in the phrase. Latin for Fortune favors the brave.

My hands tremble as I hold the small shiny piece of paper.

You are cordially invited to join the Elite at the Academy of Assassins

-Z and X

I flip the card over, seeing a shiny golden border, similar to the front, but void of any writing.

What the f**k?

There is nothing else. No location. No one to contact. No “You’ll receive a secondary letter.”

I’ve spent the last few weeks obsessing over a stupid letter, that is a one-sided invitation. While I don’t think Brielle could have had anything to do with the letter, I’m starting to feel like my so-called ticket was simply a figment of my overactive imagination.

The desperation to escape the disappointment my life had become forced me to see it for more than it was. I’d convinced myself that I was created for something bigger.

Complacency wasn’t a sacrifice I was willing to make. Not in the grand scheme of things. But as I continue to stare at the single line on my letter, I feel anger simmer beneath my skin.

Every single moment that led me to this point begins playing on repeat in my mind.

And where the hell do I go from here?

Spending any longer than necessary in this godforsaken house with Brielle will just about put me in an insane asylum.

I thought I’d gotten over my hatred for her. It was in the past. But the longer I spent with my own thoughts day in and day out, I realized I wasn’t entirely sure I could ever truly get past everything.

Clutching the letter to my chest, I fall backwards on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Growing up, I was told I was too much. Too harsh. Too emotional. Too outgoing. Too obsessive.

So I made it my mission to create a more digestible version of myself. It was so f*****g hard at first. Forcing myself to control my emotions around people. Pretending like I was unbothered by everything, when in reality; it f*****g ate me alive from the inside.

Wes pulled tiny pieces of the girl I’d wanted to be out. Not everything. Because before I knew it, life got in the way. He had his dreams and I had mine. The moment I thought I finally had it all, everything came crashing down.

And then this stupid letter came.

The little girl in me that thought she’d change the world resurfaced, and for the first time in so long, it felt like it was possible.

The same hope that I’d let die out had been fueled back to life. A tiny flicker burned into a massive flame, consuming my every thought.

A traitorous tear slid down the side of my face, landing in my hair. Reaching, I angrily swiped it with the butt of my palm.

Tucking the letter back in the envelope, I decided I needed relief.

Walking to the bathroom, I stared at my reflection. The person in the mirror who stared back at me was someone I didn’t recognize.

It was like the life had literally been drained from me. My once bright grey eyes looked so lackluster, and my tanned skin had taken on an ashen hue. Split ends marred the last six inches of my long, brown hair.

I belonged in one of those old monotone photographs.

Digging through the drawers, I found a pair of scissors, grabbing my hair with my opposite hand and sawing through the strands. Stray pieces floated to the floor like snow.

After a few minutes, I’d chopped off about eight inches of dead weight.

As I brought the scissors back up, my lips pulled into a snarl as I stared at myself. My vision blurred and my hands began shaking once again. I heard the sound of metal clattering against the tile, causing me to break the blurry trance.

The hair tie on the countertop reminded me of why I had come in here in the first place.

Pulling what was left of my hair into a ponytail, I threw a hoodie and some sweats on to run. Lately, I hadn’t let my wolf out. I needed to feel the burn in my muscles, and giving her control meant I was stuck riding in the backseat with my thoughts.

But the longer I put off a shift, the larger the distance grew between us, and that wasn’t healthy.

‘I promise after I run, I’ll let you out for a while.’

*****

The burn in my legs was like a damned drug as I finally came to a stop.

Blue Ridge was built in the center of a vast forest, thick with evergreen pine. The smell was intoxicating as I ran, and I didn’t want to quit, but Lucia was restless.

Stepping out of my clothes, I folded them neatly behind a tree before inhaling the fresh pine as I gave her the control to shift.

The sound of bones snapping and rearranging echoed through the empty forest before the sound of paws hitting the ground replaced it.

Lucia was a light grey, almost silver in color with scattered patches of black. She had bright green eyes that nearly glowed beneath the light of the moon.

She wasted no time, bolting in the direction of a twig snapping. Before long, she’d come across a small deer feasting on some of the remaining foliage.

The deer didn’t run, almost as if she had accepted her fate, and decided to enjoy her last meal before becoming one herself.

Lucia allowed her the moment before pouncing and making it a quick kill by snapping her neck.

I watched through Lucia’s eyes as she contemplated where to start tearing into her meal. The deer looked so at peace just before the bloodbath began.

Memories of crimson red swirling down the drain of our bathtub plagued my mind, and no matter how many times I fought the memory; it fought harder.

As much as I’d let go of the idea of having a pup; I couldn’t let go of the way each loss made me feel. Like a piece of me died each time I’d experienced it.

Lucia stopped tearing into the deer, whimpering along with me. Abandoning the deer, she ran towards a large lake that bordered Blue Ridge. After spending some time cleansing the blood from her fur, she returned control.

The water felt icy against my bare skin, but I floated on my back, staring up at the night sky and loving the fact that I could still feel anything at all.

Bright stars dotted the night sky, making me smile. I always found it strange the feeling that would wash over me when I stared up at them. It was almost melancholy, but that feeling was so peaceful to me. It didn’t make sense, but I can’t complain.

Goosebumps spread over the exposed skin on my body, but not from the cold. The feeling of being watched sent a shiver snaking down my spine.

My eyes traveled the expanse of the water and surrounding shoreline, but nothing stood out in the darkness. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath as the wind carried the most intoxicating scent of citrus and cedar.

Lucia whimpered in my head, but as I inhaled again, the scent had disappeared, despite that nagging feeling of being watching never fading.

Dipping beneath the water, I swam as quickly as I could, taking slow, shallow breaths in between going back under. I couldn’t take any risks knowing that the rogues could be anywhere.

Outside of the rumors, we know virtually nothing about their whereabouts or how they lure their victims.

Gritting my teeth as I climbed out of the water and into the bitter, Fall air, I sprinted back to where my folded clothes were, but as I approached, the moonlight reflected a golden circle.