Lies and Secret

Chapter Six

Lee Seungi-Gi’s point of View

Today is the longest day of my life. So Ra would not talk to me and Hyun Soo would not even look in my direction while Rosaline keeps smiling happily and chatting with me like she did nothing wrong at all despite the fact that I am ignoring her.

It’s my fault really

When Do Min Su called Rosaline a psycho I stupidly still thought I could trust her when I should have ignored her instead. This is a part of me I hate, how easily I tend to trust people is something that I wish I could change.

The finally bell for the day rang and I watch Hyun Soo and So Ra grab their stuffs, they have not utter a word to me since this afternoon and even when I tried to make small talks I was totally ignored.

I swing my bag on my shoulders and followed the crowd of students outside the school, I briefly stopped at the entrance of the school and watch both So Ra and Hyun Soo having a conversation

“Choi Hyun soo” I called “Min So Ra”

They both turned to look at me “What? Do you have something to say?” So Ra asked with a tone that felt like she knew I wasn’t going to say anything but just wanted to ask anyway

I am not very good at putting my feelings into words, that’s why people tend to misunderstand me

“Let’s go” Hyun sings “He obviously doesn’t have anything to say”

I watch Hyun Soo climb into the passenger seat of his car as So Ra drives him away. Words cannot explain how I feel right now; I adjust my bag and start walking to the bus stop. The bus stop is almost two kilometers away and since no one ever uses it I worry if I could really catch a bus. My fellow classmates, school mates and even teacher either have a car, a driver that comes to pick and drop them in due time, a motorcycle or a scooter. I on the other hand have nothing, I’m not complaining though, I have enough savings to buy me a cool scooter but I was saving for my college tuition, a few walk won’t kill me anyways

“LEE SEUNG GI” I heard someone yell my name

By someone I mean Rosaline.

Immediately I turned and confirmed it was her I started walking faster, but this girl ran towards me and God she is a fast runner. She reaches me in a matter of seconds with a wide smile across her face showing her

“Where are you going to? I’ll drop you” she gestures at the car that was following us

I don’t reply her and just kept on walking.

“Seung Gi” she whines. I don’t even know if she’s trying to be cute or trying to piss me off “You can’t really still be mad at me”

I halt then turned to her

“It’s only been half a day; do I look like Jesus Christ who is all that forgiving?”

Her lips curled up in a smile “I’m actually an atheist, I don’t believe in God”

I scoff in disbelief, she wasn’t getting the point. It’s like she chooses not to get the point, she chooses to just skip the whole flipping point and be annoying as hell

“f**k off” I cursed then continue walking

Rosaline doesn’t back down and still kept on following me, getting on the last shred of nerves I have left.

“Wow you can curse, that’s sexy” she said and I rolled my eyes “I don’t understand why you are so angry at me” she plays dumb. Again

“Well I don’t know, maybe it’s because you don’t know what keeping a secret means. Maybe because you choose not to admit that you were wrong and might have potentially destroy my friendship” I rant, still walking as fast as I can

“You give off the impression that you want to murder someone” she laughs, trying to keep up with me

I stopped on my track and turned to her again.

“What do you want? Tell me Rosaline what exactly do you want from me?” I looked her dead in the eyes.

She doesn’t look away but instead cross her arms chin up and stared right back at me “I want to be your friend” she replies “You are the only person I know in this school and one of the very few people I know in Seoul”

“So you think by chasing my other friends away from me, that I would be your friend?”

“Not exactly what I thought”

“It doesn’t matter what you think. You don’t get to purposely hurt my friends just because you want us to be friends. If it has been working for you wherever you’re from it won’t work for you here. At least not with me”

She finally looks away and stare stared down at the floor and scoff “you saved my life“

Again she brought up something that was totally different from what we are discussing. It’s like changing the topic was a hobby of hers

“So you think that gives you the right over mine?”

I did not save her life; she wasn’t in any real danger when she came over to the convenience store years back, I just took her to the hospital to have her wounds checked and luckily she didn’t break any bone. I didn’t even stay with her because I got a call that same day that my mother had passed away. I had to rush out of the hospital and never saw Rosaline again. If it wasn’t for the tragic event that happened that day I would not even remember that I ever met her

“I’m sorry if you felt that way, it was never my intention”

“I don’t care, just don’t follow me” I warned. Rosaline doesn’t follow me and I was finally able to get rid of her at least for today.

I got a bus almost as immediately as I got to the bus stop, sat by the window and as the bus moved I watch snow fall, I wore my headphone over my head, choose a random song from my music library before putting my phone into my pocket.

The song sleeplessness by Kim Feel comes on and I snicker at the coincidence, why such a sad song?

In no time I got to my designated bus stop, it was freezing outside and I still had to walk for another ten minutes before I got home.

Home

It’s such a strange word

It hasn’t been home since my mom died, it has just been a house that I slept in. My father was barely at home, he would disappear for days and sometimes even weeks and days when he was home he would either be drunk till he passed out or he would be a nuisance and nag me like crazy

He is not the kind of father I can be proud of, he is literally the worst part of myself I want to badly erase, I cannot wait till I am older so I can live on my own and do things without adult supervision

I arrived at this place called home and rushed in because of how freezing it was outside. I turn the door knob and surprisingly it was open

He is home

I pushed the door open and saw my father sitting on the floor, leg crossed with a lot of alcohol in front of him watching the television. The heater was turned to the max and it was extremely hot inside the house. “Dad!” I reduced the heater; I am the one paying for the electric bills, is he trying to drain all the electricity? The house is hot enough

“Oh Son” he turned to me with a drunk smile “Welcome” he slurs

“Why are you drinking so much?” I removed my bag and jacket and placed it on the table as my body tries to get used to the new temperature “Did you forget the doctor asked you to cut off of alcohol” I reminded him as I tried to take the alcohol from him

“F*ck that stupid doctor, he doesn’t know what he is talking about” He slurs his words slapping my hands off the bottle

“Dad”

I give up trying to stop him from drinking and instead got a trash bag as I tried to clean up the trash he had all over the living room, where did he even get money to buy all this alcohol? Days ago he was so broke he couldn’t even pay for the hospital bills. Where could he have gotten enough money to buy all this? He did not take my savings did he? I mean he doesn’t even know where I hide it

“Where did you get the money to buy all this? I thought you were broke”

“I found it” he gulps down another bottle of the alcohol ‘Soju’

“Where?” I asked my heart skins

“No need to know”

I rushed into my room; it’s a very small room with just a study table and chair one window, a cupboard and a quilt which I usually lay on the floor to sleep on and return it back into my cupboard before going to school. I hide my savings inside a box and usually use the quilt to cover it so no one not even my dad could find it but my quilt was on the floor, I had forgotten to pack it up this morning

I opened my cupboard and saw my box opened; there was no money in it, not a single Korean Won

I sink my hand into my hair “No” there was no way he had taken everything in this box, I’ve been saving for three years and everything was gone, I took the box and walked back into the living room “Where is my money?”

“What money are you talking about?”

“Where is my money?” I yelled slamming the box on the floor. It broke all around the small living room

“Ah~ that money” he replies “I borrowed it”

“Borrowed it?” my face is flushed from the anger and so many thoughts runs into my head “Who gave you the right?” I know my dad. The money my mother had left for me for my tuition fee and extra savings he took it from me and spent every single won on absolutely useless things

“Seung Gi calm down, Mr. Min introduced me to this online trading and I needed money to do it. Don’t worry give me a month when my trading goes well, I’ll pay you back two times the…”

“Liar” I replied trembling

“What?” he struggles to stand up

“You’re a liar. This is not the first time. You try to invest in every single online business and always lose every single time! The money mom saved up for me by selling her restaurant you took it also and said you invested but got nothing back in return. No single cent” I screamed as tears gather in my eyes

“Don’t jinx it you i***t”

“I don’t care about anything, give me back my money” I stretched my hands forward

“Hey you ungrateful bastard, when your mother died I took care of you, how dare you treat me like this over little money?”

“Little? Do you know how hard I’ve been working for years to save that much? Why don’t you make your own money instead? Why don’t you work instead and stop making me do everything, you are so useless and nothing but a burden to my life”

A hard slap connects to my face “What? Useless? Don’t forget I’m the one who brought you to the world! Talk to me with respect you fool”

“You have to earn my respect first” I glared at him “I’m tired of pretending that I respect you, I’m tired of seeing you”

“Then die” my dad yelled “If you are so tired then go and die!” he hit me on the face so hard that I feel a funny sensation on my nose

“Dad” I cried but he kept on hitting me.

Again and again

I fell on the floor. He removes his belt and I am too familiar with what was next

He starts to hit me with the belt on my stomach, my back, my face and everywhere he could find. I groan in pain, biting my lips so hard I don’t cry. This is not the first time he has abused me, since as long as I could remember my dad would always hit me and my mom. My mom is gone and I am left alone to suffer this alone

“How dare you talk to your father like this? Then go ahead and die. I too don’t need a useless son like you. Disappear from my life I too don’t want to see you again” he kicks my stomach so hard that I spit out blood, he tries to kick me again but slips and falls.

I rush out of the house before he could stand up or even continue to hit me, he grabs one of the bottles and threw it at me but luckily I was able to dodge it. I just kept on running, I don’t know where I am running to I only followed where my leg took me until it could not move again, until I could not run anymore as I fell on the bed of snowy ground screaming

It’s all gone

My money is all gone, my dream, my hard work everything disappear in a blink of an eye. I screamed harder, kicking the floor and everything besides me, my nostril flairs and my eyes burns from the tears. I grab a hand full of hair; my eyes shut tight trying not to cry

“I should just die? No I won’t” I determined “Mom didn’t suffer for years just for me to die. I can’t die just because you want me to die. I can’t die. I won’t die!”