Lies and Secret

Chapter Five

Lee Seung Gi’s Point of View

Despite begging and explaining to Rosaline Park why Choi Hyun soo and I should be seat partner she totally refused to change seats with him and kept on saying ‘I have to follow the school rules’ I never thought there would be a person more stubborn than Choi Hyun Soo and there Rosaline was, a living and breathing exception.

The classes goes normally as it use to, I didn't think I would feel the absent of Hyun Soo as much as I did, he is literally an arm length away from me, a desk away but it didn’t feel the same.

Ugh I hate this

Our English teacher leaves ten minutes earlier before the school break so I decided to rest my head on the desk and try to get some sleep, I barely had any sleep last night because of my part time jobs

"Seung Gi" i hear my name "Lee Seung Gi” Rosaline calls me in between my small nap

“What?”I whine. I am tired I need to get some sleep

“I still think we need to talk about that thing” she replied

“What thing?” I asked, eyes till shut and head resting on my arm on the desk

“You know, the thing you don’t want Choi Hyun Soo or Min So Ra to know about” my eyes opened wide and i looked at her with a question on my face

Is she kidding me? They are literally both in front of us and she just said it like that?

Min So Ra turns to look her me “what’s she talking about?” she asked

“Yes Seung Gi what thing are we not supposed to know?” Hyun Soo also turns around to ask me, I raised my head off the desk and turned to Rosaline, she had her hands covering her mouth and her eyes widen like she was surprised both Hyun Soo and So Ra heard

They are literally an arm length Rosaline! i want to scream but I suppress the screams

“It’s nothing” I replied to both So Ra and Hyun Soo knowing too well that they will never take ‘nothing’ as an answer

“It’s definitely not ‘nothing’. It’s okay for Rosaline to know about it and it’s somehow not okay for us to know?” Hyun Soo stares directly at me, i bat my eyes as it dances through the class. i cannot look into the anger in his eyes

I wanted to have a peaceful sleep and now I am in between a rock and a hard place. Thank You Rosaline, thanks so freaking much

“Stop being so clingy about it, if it was something he wanted you to know he would have told you” Rosaline rolls her eyes making it worse.

My mouth dropped. She just killed me

“Maybe if you guys were such good friends you wouldn’t have to be so worried about being in the dark” She continued

Is she crazy?

She definitely has lost her god dammed mind. When did I tell her that I didn’t want to tell Choi Hyun Soo or Min So Ra to know about the bullying problem because they weren’t both good friends? I am keeping it a secret because I am trying to protect them

“Wow” Hyun Soo huffed in disbelief , he stood up gave me one last look then left the class. Min So Ra sat there almost as dumbfounded as I was. Her eyes staring at me and judging me even more than Hyun Soo’s

“Are you crazy?” I yelled at Rosaline “I begged you not to say anything and the first thing you did was to spill it out. You just couldn’t wait to run your mouth could you?”

“Technically I didn’t tell him anything” she tries to justifies herself

“The statement you made is the exact same as telling him if not even worse as you just put wrong ideas in his head”

“No i didn't and it’s not” she looked at me like I was talking nonsense “I didn’t even know that he was going to hear it”

“He is literally sitting right in front of us for Christ sake!” oh god what has she done. I stood up

“I’m sorry jeez” she scoffs

“You know what Rosaline, it doesn’t matter” I said rushing out to go find Choi Hyun Soo. I cannot even imagine what is going through his mind right now, the bell rang to indicate it was break time and in a matter of seconds the hallway was filled with students

I wander in the sea full of people, looking for Hyun Soo but couldn’t find him anywhere, I start searching classes, laboratory and eventually the roof top. I finally found him sitting on a bench on the roof top

“Hyun Soo” I walked towards him. He doesn’t say anything just glaring at me. If he could shoot lasers from his eyes I’ll be dead by now

“It’s not what you think” I try to explain

“Then what is it? Explain to me because I am not taking Rosaline’s word for s**t” His voice is really calm and that scares me. I’ll rather have him being totally mad at me than him being this cool “What is it that you could share with Rosaline that you cannot share with me or even So Ra?”

I squat besides him, resting my hands on his thigh, how was I supposed to tell him that I was being bullied? How was I supposed to tell him those times where I would disappear for a period was not because I was sick but because I was being beat up? How was I supposed to tell him that those times when my stuffs would disappear from my bag they were being taken by the twins and their classmates to frustrate me? The last thing I wanted was to drag Hyun Soo into this mess, it was already enough that we are the way we are and I was fine being cursed and hurt for being who I was but I’ll be damned if I let the same happen to him.

“I- I can’t” I stutter

“You cannot tell me, someone who you have known you for almost three years, who has been with you through a lot but can open your mouth to tell a girl who just met yesterday?”

“Hyun Soo” I sighed

“Oh wait. You’ve known her longer than you know me what am I saying” he mocks “Makes more sense now that you would trust her more than me”

“Choi Hyun Soo you know that’s not true”

“It seems pretty true to me” he stood up and finally burst into anger “What is then?” What are you hiding? What is so important or stupid or sad that you cannot trust me with such information?”

“I’m sorry I just cannot” I stood up also and tried to touch him, to calm him down “I just need you to trust me”

“Trust you? Why does everyone keep thinking that I cannot handle whatever they are hiding and just want me to trust them?” I don’t understand what he means by everyone but I still tried to hold him

“I’ll punch you if you touch me” he threatens

I clench my hands and slowly brought it down to my sides “Hyun Soo please just trust me and let it go”

“Trust you? Let it go? Funny of you to say that to me when you don’t even trust me” I stay silent because I know anything I say in this case will just make him feel angrier “Say something! You don’t have anything to say to me? But you can ramble away in front of Rosaline”

“What are you so worked you about Rosaline?” my mouth speaks for itself

“Can’t you see that she’s trying to come between us? See the very moment she came into this school we’ve been having problems”

“Oh c’mon we’ve been having problems way before Rosaline even came. If it’s not your temper, it’s because something doesn’t go your way” I rolled my eyes, letting my emotions get the better of me

‘Shut up Lee Seung Gi , shut your mouth you don’t mean it’ a small voice in my head scolds

“Sure put the blame on me, I’m the one always with the problem. I’m the problematic one. It’s always Choi Hyun soo’s fault. Lee Seung Gi has never been the one to push Hyun Soo’s button before” I never get why Hyun Soo always talked in the third person anytime we had an argument.

How cute

I can’t believe amidst of this argument I still manage to find something cute about this guy

So Ra walks in on us and I really am glad that she’s here maybe she can calm Hyun Soo. “What the f**k Seung Gi” she attacked me straight up

“What?”

“You’re really going to just pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about?” Now So Ra too is angry

“He is suddenly mute when he is talking to us but not Rosaline” Hyun Soo mocks.

“What exactly is this big secret that you can trust a stranger with and not me or even Hyun Soo? And even worse having her mock us that we are not good friends?” she had her arms crossed, wide and steady eyes waiting for me to give them a reasonable explanation, but this wasn’t something I wanted to share. Not everyone in school knows that I’m being bullied, few people from the other classes’ asides the twins knew and it was embarrassing enough

“I’m sorry I can’t tell you” I run both my hands into my hair “Please just let it go” I pleaded

“Sorry, I don’t plan to let it go and until you trust me enough to tell me, don’t talk to me” Hyun Soo said and I watch him walk away

“Hyun Soo. Choi Hyun soo” I called following him. So Ra stopped me from going any further

“If I can be this hurt can you imagine how hurt Hyun Soo feels?” She asked “I kept blaming myself in my head that I might have not been a good friend to you like Rosaline said and maybe i might have been paying less attention to you but what about Choi Hyun Soo whose attention is always on you? Is he also not a good friend or are you the one who is just a terrible friend?”

”Min So Ra not you too” I have my head in my hands

“I’m disappointed at you Lee Seung Gi. Our friendship must have meant this little to you” She said leaving me alone in the roof top with a heavy heart and no one to blame but myself for trusting Rosaline Park