Raised For The Alpha

Coyote

It's been a few days since Oisin and I got ice cream together. I can't stop thinking about and when I feel his presence I can't help but smile. He's trying not to pay me too much attention but he's in the kitchen far more than usual when I'm there.

Today he is in his room when I go in to clean it. ‘I'm sorry. I'll come back later.’ I say but he leaps up and closes the door quickly. ‘Oisin, what are you doing?’ I ask but he just grins as he walks over to me.

‘I missed talking to you and you don’t speak downstairs.’ Because we will get caught and I was taught to keep my voice to myself. Getting caught in his room together with a closed door would be even worse. I look at the door as I step back towards it. ‘Please, Bonnie. Just talk to me.’ He begs but there’s an authority in his tone which I don’t miss.

‘I can’t be in here when you’re in here. It’s the rules. I can’t break the rules Oisin.’ I say but his hands find my hips as he holds me in his. The touch burns, setting my body alight and I look down to his hands. He sees me look but he doesn’t move them so I try to step back again but I’m rooted in place. ‘Oisin, let go.’

‘Just hear me out.’ He pleads with me and I take a deep breath with impatience before my eyes widen. I didn’t mean to be rude. He only laughs and it seems to break the tension. ‘You missed out on your entire childhood whilst I got to have one. Even with a Father like him, I still got to do so much. Sometimes I would ask Hazel if we could bring you too but the answer was always no.’

I look at him to question if it’s true but his face tells me it is. ‘I learned not to ask my Father.’ He says and I don’t understand what that means. ‘I want to make it right, what he’s done. I couldn’t do anything when I was a child but I can now.’

‘It’s okay. You don’t owe me anything.’ I say but the words taste sour on my tongue. He doesn’t owe me anything at all but it’s not okay. What happened to me wasn’t okay and it’s still not. It took me a long time to realise that it wasn’t normal. Children aren’t forced to be servants in a home, not even the servant's children themselves.

‘Let me make it right. I can’t change anything in the past but I can give you memories you never got to have. You didn’t have a childhood and I want to give that to you. I’m going to help you relive your childhood.’ He says and I don’t know what to say.

‘Please, Bonnie. Let me do this for you.’ He pleads with me again and I don’t understand why he wants this so much. Part of me thinks I should be cautious but the other part of me is curious. That’s the part which agrees.

I look around as we step out of the truck inside the car park, looking at the sign for our destination. Chestermount Zoo.

A zoo. With animals, I think. I’m sure that’s what it is but I’m not certain until we get closer and the overwhelming smell hits me in the face as all the scents do. Oisin chuckles beside me and holds my hand. ‘Deep breath in, and out. Focus on the now and let all the other scents drift over you like they’re not even there.’ He says and I focus on his words.

I do as he says and it doesn’t erase it entirely but it becomes more manageable. ‘When we were children we would come here. Not always to see the animals to test our resilience. There’s a lot of scents and it’s something which you need to control. Plus it’s pretty awesome getting to see all the different animals.’ He says as he pulls me along beside him.

I look down at our joined hands, a feeling of contentment taking over me as I try to resist. I can’t. I can’t stop the feelings or prevent how he makes me feel. Maybe Hazel was right. Even if she is though, don’t I deserve some form of happiness before everything comes crashing down in less than a year?

Oisin

I tug at Bonnie’s hand

Bonnie is mesmerised at seeing the animals. Watching the amazement on her face as she stares at them in awe fills me with a pride I’ve never quite understood. It’s only a trip to a zoo but to her, it means so much more. We came here for a lesson as cubs. Get used to the scents around us to make us strong. When we could hone in on one scent and ignore others which didn’t matter it meant we had succeeded in that particular lesson.

Bonnie never got to visit. She doesn’t know a lot about the world and she doesn’t even know what most of the animals are as she’s never heard of them. I’ve travelled the world and been to visit other packs. Bonnie has stayed in a room most of her life and the other half, she didn’t get as far as the front door.

‘They’re so cute. So cute. Why are they this so cute.’ Bonnie squeals at the red pandas. She can’t contain herself and it’s the cutest f*****g thing I’ve ever seen. She jumps up and down and grasps her hands and she stares at them. I know I have the biggest smile on my face, but how can I not? I made her this happy. Well, the adorable little pandas did, but it’s me who brought her to see them. I’m taking credit.

As we go around and she looks in wonder at all the different creatures we walk along to the coyotes. They snarl and try to attack through the glass. Bonnie flinches and tucks herself into my side. I knew they’d do this. ‘Why don’t they like us?’ She asks and her face immediately saddens.

I can’t have that. I’m not having these bastards ruin her day so I glare right into their eyes and they cower and whimper before running away and hiding. Every time we come to the zoo the coyotes react like this. They can sense us. I think a lot of the animals can actually, but most aren’t too bothered or they know who the Alpha of the animal kingdom are. Coyotes? No, they always want a fight.

Going past the ice cream stand I see her stare and look. Of course, I’m going to buy her one. It just won’t be the same as last time. ‘I’m sure they still taste good but I guarantee they’ll have nothing on Scoop and Smiles.’ She glances my way with a grin and I know it doesn’t matter anyway.

When my cousin, Quinn, became a father he said that anything in the world within reach would be for his little girl and anything out of reach, he would do anything to catch it. I feel the same with Bonnie. All I want to do is see her smile.

‘I’ll have a thunder and lightning and whatever Bonnie would like, please.’