Raised For The Alpha

Roles

When we arrive back at the pack house, I’m in a little world of my own. I’m not paying attention when Onyx parks his bike right next to Oisins truck and helps me off safely.

‘Thank you. I really needed that.’ I say as I give Onyx a huge hug. A cough interrupts and I look towards the sound to see Oisin standing there. I freeze but it doesn’t stop Onyx, he doesn’t seem phased at all. He holds the tops of my arms and stares into my arms. I like to think he’s telling it will be okay.

He smiles at me and I give him a weak smile before he squeezes my shoulder and gets back on his bike. I watch as he rides off and I stand there for a second. I don’t want to turn around. I don’t want to speak to him. I have no reason to be angry with him but I can’t control the emotions running through me.

‘Look at me.’ Oisin says softly but I ignore him. ‘Bonnie. Please.’ He begs but I remain facing towards to gates, refusing to acknowledge him. ‘Bonnie. Look at me.’ He demands and I can’t help but turn around. He closes his eyes for a few seconds and rolls his lips between his teeth as he sighs.

He starts to walk towards me but I shake my head. Please don’t come near me. Please don’t. I beg inside my head but he continues to come towards me. He tries to put his hand on mine but I pull away like he burned me. I see the hurt in his eyes but how about my hurt? I know my role and it’s never been to be his. He can’t touch me.

‘Bonnie. Please talk to me.’ He pleads and his eyes are glazed over. I pull away from him and begin to walk up the steps and into the pack house. ‘Bon Bon, let me explain.’ I spin around so quickly that I nearly wipe Oisin out.

‘Do not call me that.’ I spit with anger. Oisin looks shocked as he steps back and tries to speak but I refuse to let him. ‘We both have our roles to play, Oisin. You’d do well not to forget that.’ I watch the hurt overtake his face before I walk off and climb the stairs to my room. My attic room.

I hear footsteps slowly follow behind me and then a thud against the door, which sounds a bit like a head hitting the door. I hear Oisin sigh and a couple of minutes later the footsteps are heard again as he walks away. That’s when I let myself crumble.

‘Bonnie. You haven’t had anything to eat.’ I hear a soft voice and then the slide of a tray on the floor next to me. ‘Please eat.’ Hazel says as she helps me to sit up. ‘Letting go and moving on takes a lot of your energy. I’m guessing it went well?’ She asks and I rub my eyes to get rid of the sleep and the salty streaks stuck there.

‘Onyx helped you to get rid of some of the anger you’re carrying?’ She asks and I nod. ‘Good. That’s good. You needed that.’ I want to ask if I will see him again but I don’t. Hazel smirks as she looks at me. ‘Anything you’d like to ask?’ Damn it. How is she so good at reading me?

‘Will I see Onyx again?’ She chuckles and passes me a plate from the tray and a glass of water. I sip the water and take a bite out of the sandwich whilst I wait for her to answer.

‘Onyx is my nephew. I might have gone wrong about all of this and I can’t keep you both protected forever. You could both do with a friend.’ I smile and she gives me a pointed look. ‘Friends. Don’t get any other feelings. You must understand that. Okay?’

‘Yes. Of course.’ I say and she leaves me to finish my food in peace before I go back to sleep, still undecided whether I want Oisin to be back here or not.

The next few weeks fly by. I see Onyx a few times and he takes me to the forest again to let out any anger. He makes me shake my body and my arms and legs. He doesn’t explain why of course, but it helps me. I always feel worse before I feel better with him, but I appreciate him helping me.

I haven’t bumped into Oisin again. I’ve been purposely avoiding him but I do sense his footsteps outside of my room. Sometimes he sits there for a while as I hear his body slump against the wall. He doesn’t knock and he doesn’t say anything. I hear him sigh sometimes and I once heard him punch the wall.

I’m humming a song as I dust the library. Magnus is away so there’s nobody around to ensure my silence. I’ve always felt a little free when he isn’t here. I think it’s the case for all the servants as we seem more relaxed. I hear a laugh behind me and I turn around to see Hazel and Onyx watching.

My face immediately heats and I stand still as I watch them back with a frown on my face. ‘The sessions with you are helping .’ Hazel says to Onyx and he nods with one of his huge signature grins which always makes me do the same.

‘I’m nearly finished in here.’ I sing as I continue to dust the shelves. ‘I’ll only be a few minutes.’ I call over my shoulder as Onyx sits down in the big chair. ‘Hey, I’ve just puffed the cushions up there.’ I say as Hazel whips him around the head with her dusting cloth. He chuckles and it’s so lovely to see.

She must really care for him and it seems like they have a great relationship. Although, I know she cares for me. It’s not the same. She has never really joked around with me. My shoulders drop a little and the next thing I know there’s a cushion being launched at my head. ‘Hey.’ I shout and Onyx bursts into laughter and shrugs as if it wasn't him.

‘Right. That’s it.’ I say as I pick the cushion up and bash him around the head. He flips me over his shoulder with my head dangling down his back as he begins to tickle my sides. ‘Onyx, no.’ I shout through my giggles as he doesn’t let up.

I hear a cough and look towards the door to see Oisin standing there with a very serious look on his face. Onyx doesn’t seem to care and keeps me over his shoulder. ‘She has work to do and you haven’t been invited by a member of the house.’ Oisin says and I wriggle for Onyx to put me down.

‘Sorry, Oisin. He was just visiting me. I won’t have any more guests. I’m sorry.’ Hazel repeatedly apologises and I’m shocked by this. She never does. She is part of the pack house. Oisin has always treated her that way too. Even Magnus really.

‘You two quickly leave. I’ll deal with it, don’t worry. These trips are working for you and you’re going to need it. You need to let go of all the tension before you’re mated to Magnus.’ She says as she shoves us out of the front door. My body nearly freezes at her words but Onyx pulls me with him.

He places his hands on my biceps and I look at him. I can see the pity in his eyes but then he hugs me and this time his hug doesn’t make me feel better. Every time I think I make a friend, I’m proved that it’s nothing more than a ploy.

He tugs the helmet onto my head, fastening the clip underneath and wobbling it to check it’s secure. He tugs his own on his head before getting on his bike and reaches out for me to get on too. I don’t feel like doing this today now. I have no anger to shed. It’s hard to be angry when you’re overcome with sadness.

I feel too sad to shout. Too sad and weak.