Raised For The Alpha

Heartbreak

A day has passed since Hazel slapped me. Oisin told her afterwards that I wouldn’t be helping for the remainder of that day. The rest of the house staff are beginning to catch on and they are now gossiping and saying mean things about me.

‘She’s opening her legs for the son so that she gets special treatment. The Alpha won’t allow her special treatment, even when they have their mating ceremony.’ Is something I hear one of them say. They don’t even pretend to stay quiet. They think I don’t speak, but they know I can hear. They just don’t care.

I try to continue and go about my day but there are constant whispers and small remarks from the house staff. Hazel keeps giving me pointed looks but won’t communicate with me today. I am surrounded by so many wolves but I have never felt more alone.

At the end of the day, I am exhausted from trying to hold it together. Every passing remark, every whisper, every stare or pointed look. The looks of disgust, of envy and pity. It hurts my heart and I am just about done with the entire day to retire to my bed for the night when Hazel pulls me to one side.

She waits and watches as the other house staff leave to retire to their rooms. ‘So you’re doing this then?’ She asks me and I just look at her. She hasn’t spoken to me. She hasn’t apologised for hitting me. She can mind her own business.

‘I don’t want to discuss this with you.’ I say as I try to leave but she grabs my wrist to hold me there. I look down at where she has her hands on me and she slowly removes it but begs me with her eyes to stay and listen to her. I’m too tired for this.

‘I don’t want you to get hurt. Both physically and emotionally. This won’t just break you when Alpha Magnus finds out. It’s not an if, it’s a when. I have spoken to all house staff and told them if they continue to gossip then they will need to find another pack house to work at. He will scent you on each other. He will end up finding you both or something will happen. What if he comes back from a trip early or you get too cocky and he catches you in the pack house?’

I don’t say anything. What is he supposed to catch us doing? What does she think this is? ‘You’re going to fall in love with the boy and you can’t be together. You will never get your mate. The mating ceremony will prevent you from finding your true mate. He’s older than you, so maybe when he dies of old age you will have your chance, but Bonnie. He’s led a healthy life. You haven’t. That opportunity might never come.’

Talk about kicking me when I’m already down. Is this all she wants to do? Rub it in that I’ll be stuck with this life forever. ‘We are friends. We aren’t hurting anybody. Why can’t I have a friend for a little while? To understand what it feels to laugh and be happy if this is all I’m destined to be?’ I ask her.

‘Because it only hurts more in the end to lose what you get used to. If you never experience it, then it can’t hurt you. You’re going to fall in love with this boy and when he leaves to find his mate, you will be witness to it. They will live here for a while and you’ll have to watch them fall in love. It will destroy you and you can’t let that happen.’

‘He might never find a mate. Just like Magnus.’ I tell her but I know it’s not true.

She tilts her head and gives me a pointed look. ‘You can’t believe that Bonnie? He’s always had the charm and charisma which Magnus never possessed. Girls drop at his feet when they celebrate his birthdays from the closest pack. If he doesn’t take one of those, then I’m sure he will find them in the other packs. Having a new Luna in the pack will help with that too.’

It makes me feel sick. The role I play as his father’s bride will be the reason he finds it easier to find one himself. I keep saying we are just friends but why do I feel like I’m being burned alive when I picture him with someone else?

‘He’s going to break your heart. You need to be strong to survive this and if the cracks are already there then it won’t take much to break you. We have spoken about this, Bonnie. Don’t let people in. Build a fortress around your head and your heart. Don’t let anybody hurt or affect you.’

I just nod and drop my head as the tears begin to fall. ‘It will only get harder the longer it goes on. It is better to end whatever you have now. There will be no room for jealousy and heartbreak. Stay away from each other and if you can’t do it for yourself then do it for him.’

I lift my head to look at her. ‘What do you mean?’ I ask her in confusion. Is he doing this out of pity? Out of charity? Am I a waste of his time? It’s true. He doesn’t care about me. We aren’t really friends. He’s doing this for charity because he feels bad knowing that he gets to leave here and I don’t. We share a birthday and a connection because of that. Nothing more. He had a childhood and I was locked up. He got his teenage years, where I was taught to clean and cook.

‘He’s not like his father. He has a soft heart. In time, he is going to learn to build a fortress around it too. He will become the Alpha he needs to be. Don’t be the reason he is held back from his true potential. What do you think will happen when he has to lay with someone else and choose a mate when all he can think of is you? Or when he has to watch his love be with his own father? If you don’t care about the break of your own heart. At least consider his.’

I stop in my tracks then. No. She isn’t right. We are friends. We probably are even less than friends. Oisin won’t care about that. He’s spent nearly his entire life knowing who I will become. He knows what will happen. He wouldn’t care? He won’t.