Forever Mine *Virginia*

chapter 5

Virginia

I don't even know at what time I fell asleep, but I wake up to banging on the door. I stand up and rush to the front door. Only cops would bang this way or someone in an emergency. No normal person would bang and have my heart falling out of my a$$ like this. I blink, trying to see where I am walking. I don't want to trip or fall. My poor eyes hurt. My face feels swollen, my throat feels so dry, and I feel like I need a tall glass of ice-cold water.

I check through the peephole. Beckham. I step back. I can't talk to him. I jump back when he begins banging on the door again. I look in the mirror that's hanging next to the door and I look a hot mess. I can't let him see me like this. He won't know that I feel like I am dying inside. He will never know how badly it is k1lling me.

"Virginia, please open the door. It's not what you think. Please baby. I know you are home. Let's talk this through. Please." he sounds frustrated. The tears fall harder than before. I said I wouldn't cry anymore. I already cried so much. I thought I had no more tears left. I feel so weak and pathetic for wanting to open the door and throw myself at him and beg him to love me and tell him we are having a baby, but what's the point? I have no idea what he is even doing here? Is he trying to pull me back in? He wants to have his cake and eat it too? Well, he can go to h3ll. Does he think that he can come here and reel me back, tell me it's nothing and I will just open my legs and welcome him back? Well, he has another thing coming. I will give him what he asked for from the beginning. Time and space to be alone and figure things out.

I know I have to tell him about the baby and I will, eventually. For sure, before the baby is born, but right now I will focus on myself and my pregnancy. I need to get myself together. I can't be weak and continue to let Beck walk all over my poor heart. "Virginia, let me in. Let me explain. I love you," he bangs on the door again. I place my hand on the door. Very close to the door knob. I even slide my hand down so it is right on top. My hand shakes. My heart is beating fast. I can easily open it, but I walk away instead. I need to be strong for myself. I need to be smart about this. Right now my emotions are high, and I don't think it is a good time to talk. We can talk once I have thought about everything thoroughly. I hear him knocking for a little while, then it goes quiet again. I decide to put on some white noise. This is better, so I don't have to hear him if he begins knocking again. I crawl back in my bed and close my eyes. Eventually, I fall asleep again.

Beckham

I know she is here, but I have been banging on her door and she won't open. I want to break the door down. I thought I heard footsteps, but I think I am tripping. I sit here, my head in my hands, on the bottom step, not knowing what else to do. She won't answer my calls or text messages. I can't even go back home right now unless I get another uber. F*ck F*ck F*ck. I am so f*cked. I don't know if I should try to break in? I mean, I have to do what I have to do to show her how much I love her.

James told me she probably wouldn't want to speak to me right away. Maybe, I should have just listened to him and came tomorrow. I know how sensitive she is about everything. I should have given her space. I just can't lose her. She means everything to me. With this thought, I decide to just go for it. F*ck it, if I get arrested, she is worth it.

I go out back, and check some windows. She didn't leave any open. I check the door, but it is also locked. Good. At least she is always safe. I decide to do some lock picking. I try a credit card and after a lot of jingling and pulling the door knob hard, somehow the door opens. I look around and make sure there are no neighbors and walk right in. Her siblings and by that I mean James and the men, will be upset if they knew I got in this easily. Everyone is upset that she wants to live a normal life and doesn't want cameras and security guards. That is when it hits me. She really is a normal girl like she claimed to be when I broke it off with her. I still remember when she told her sisters she wanted to experience a normal college life. I messed it all up for her. I groan. I can't think about that now. The least I can do now is fix this and put cameras up for her later. Just in case.

I pass the living room, and she is not here. I quickly take my shoes off and go into her room. The light from outside hits her face a little, so I can see her. She looks so beautiful and peaceful sleeping in her huge bed. I swear if I hadn't seen her at the bar a little while ago with my own eyes, I would think that she has been here, asleep all along. I sit on the small stool she has in here trying to decide what to do. Do I take my clothes off and get in bed with her and either she freaks out and lets me explain, or I leave her alone and let her continue to be peaceful without me? I saw the hurt in her eyes. I should at least clear the air with her though, and if she decides she doesn't want to see me anymore, then I will have to live with it. This will be my punishment for ruining the best thing to ever happen to me.

I decide not to take my clothes off. I also don't want to scare her or think I am not taking her seriously. I crawl under her covers though and wrap my arm around her, and she cuddles up to me easily. It's as if her body recognizes me, and she has to be as close as possible. Her body knows she belongs to me. We belong together. I feel so at peace with her in my arms. Everything feels right. She opens her eyes. "Beck, is it really you, or am I dreaming?" she yawns and closes her eyes again. At least she didn't freak out. She snuggles closer. I kiss the top of her head. "Shh, we will speak in the morning, my pretty girl. Don't worry about anything. I love you and only you," I say, and push her hair back and out of her face. My girl is so beautiful. I stare at her as she breathes and I can't imagine not being with her anymore. I know I broke up with her, but it isn't as if that even lasted a long time. She is a part of me. She has been since she came up to me and decided we were friends. It's as if she picked me. Out of everyone, she picked me, yet I f8cked it up and didn't pick her. My heart sinks. I didn't pick her. Now all I can think about is how she must have felt that day. I know I was all over the place, but she didn't deserve what I did to her, yet she kept checking on me and never gave up on me. She was right there ready once I was ready again.

As soon as she wakes up, I will explain everything. I will let her know that she is my everything and that I want her back. Yes, I will reassure her of my feelings. She never has to doubt me. She can even come with me to speak to the girl, because I do plan on confronting her or at least setting clear boundaries. Especially after James reminded me of Tilly's neighbor who almost caused Tyler his relationship with Dallas. Some women are bat $hit crazy. The guys think the girl might be into me, but everyone needs to know that I only have eyes for my girl.

I feel something vibrating. There it stopped. A couple seconds later, I feel it again. I move my hand around until I figure out it is my phone. I open one eye and see that I am getting notified by the fire station about a fire. F*ck, I have to go. I jump out of Virginia's bed. She is still knocked out. I decide not to wake her. I will let her rest and just call her or return later. F*ck, this sucks, but duty calls. Plus, she would be angry if I skipped out on being a super hero, as she calls it, and possibly saving someone's life. I contemplated leaving a note, but decide it will be better to talk in person, so I will call her later and ask her to meet me for dinner. With what I hope is me figuring my life out, I make my way out the way I came in. I call an uber, and 5 minutes later, I am on my way to the location up in flames.