Wrench

23 - Why do I miss her?

Wrench

Elie looks beyond miserable standing there with her mother. Her mother. Yeah, that was a shock to me, but it figures why everyone was staring at her that first day.

Finding out she’d tried to have Hammer maimed in some way is a shock I can’t seem to get over. I never even saw it coming, dammit. All those nights we spent together. All those days we spent talking about anything and everything, and the whole time, she was fuckin.g using me to get the information she wanted.

Okay, she thought Cindy was her mother, that Hammer was the reason she died, blah, blah, blah. It didn’t alter the fact she’d gone against me and the club. Shepard would have made sure she’d disappeared without a trace if she were anybody else. But as it was, Coral’s pleas and Hammer’s forgiveness saved her life.

Hammer felt bad for Elie because of what she believed was the truth. He thought she deserved another chance, especially since she tried so hard to get Nova to stop what she thought would be happening. Of course, Nova never set anything up, and Hammer was never in any danger, to begin with.

Cindy meant the world to Hammer when she was alive. She was almost his wife. He believed Elie deserved another chance, just as he was made to believe he did. Hammer blamed himself for so long for what happened and didn’t think he deserved another chance at life. Then he fell for Willow, and she made his life complete. Hammer believes everything happens for a reason, changes us, shapes us, and makes us the people we are today. That’s why he forgave Elie. Everyone seems to have forgiven her, or at least they’re trying to.

I, on the other hand, hate her. I hate her for lying to me, for using me, for making me fall in love with her, and for ripping my fuckin.g heart out and stomping all over it.

Why do I miss her like this if I hate her so much?

I miss the way she looked at me, touched me, fucke.d me. I miss her scent, the feel of her skin, and how she fell asleep in my arms right after begging me to hold her and making sure I wouldn’t let go until morning.

I miss fuckin.g her in the shower, against my bike, bent over my desk, hell, I miss fuckin.g her full stop. That tight little puss.y of hers drove me insane!

It’s been weeks since I so much as saw her face, and I’ve never so much as asked how she’s doing. I heard Coral and my mother talking once. Coral told my mom that Elie hadn’t even gotten out of bed the first week after Shepard kept her locked in that room. She told her how Elie wouldn’t eat anything, how it was hard to get her to speak, and how she had nightmares every single night. I had no idea she’d be so traumatized by a few hours in a dark room, but I guess that shows what I know about a woman’s mind.

I could have fucke.d a few sluts to take my mind off of Elie, but the thought just turned my stomach. I feel like a fuckin.g puss.y where that shi.t is concerned.

Aren’t men supposed to be able to go out and fuc.k any bitc.h they want and think nothing of it?

Fucke.d, my friend, that’s what you are.

Elie is doing everything to make sure her eyes don’t meet mine. I can see her struggling not to look at me. She knows I’m right here with my brother and some of the others. She smiled at Hawk not five minutes ago. He even forgives her for what she did.

So why the hell can’t I?

“She looks different.” My brother points out. Like he needed to. I can see for myself that Elie has lost weight, and she’s pale.

God, all I want to do is hold her and tell her how fuckin.g sorry I am for the things that I said to her. They weren’t needed, but I was so angry right then. I still am, and I can’t seem to let it go.

“I can see that. Thanks for pointin’ out the obvious.”

“I know you miss her, little brother.”

“You don’t know shi.t!” I hiss before taking a swig of my bottled beer.

“I did exactly what you’re doing right now after Brooke left me.”

God, here we go, another fuckin.g story from the asshole who knows it all! I couldn’t give a shi.t about when Brooke left him. I know it cut him the fuc.k up, but this isn’t like that time; it is totally different. I’m the one who said unforgivable things to the woman I love, and I’m the one who can’t forgive himself.

“No offense, Hawk, but this situation is nothing like yours...” My voice trails off as my eyes narrow.

What the fuc.k is Kyle doing?

Kyle, a Prospect about to be patched in. He’s pulled Elie to one side. She looks so uncomfortable with her arms around her waist as if she’s trying to protect herself, and she’s looking anywhere but at him. I notice her visibly cringe when he leans in to talk to her.

Fuc.k this shi.t.

I storm over to them, anger flooding my veins.

Why in the hell is he bothering her when it’s so obvious she doesn’t want anything to do with him?

“What the fuc.k are you doing?” I ask while grabbing Kyle’s arm. He’s not as built or as tall as I am. That’s not to say he isn’t strong, but it won’t stop me from putting him on his ass should he fuc.k with me right now.

“What’s it look like we’re doing, Wrench?”

I turn my angry eyes to Elie. She’s still not looking at me, but she’s biting her lip nervously. “Elisha, are you okay?”

She looks down at her feet and shakes her head slightly.

“She’s fine, man. We’re just getting to know each other.”

Fuckin’ utter cunt!

He thinks that he can take her for his own?

Never going to fuckin.g happen. I might be pissed off with Elie, and I can’t trust her as far as I can throw her, but the fact remains that she is mine, my Old Lady, and it’s time this cunt realized it.

“Back off!” I hiss between my teeth, my hands inside my jeans pockets. “Elie is mine. My Old Lady.” His eyes widen. “You already knew that, and you know not to fuc.k with what don’t belong to you, Kyle. Come near my Old Lady again, and I’ll finish you!”

I don’t let Kyle reply; I grab Elie’s arm and pull her away from him. Away from everyone, into the clubhouse and my old bedroom, which is now someone else’s. Not that I care about that, either.

It’s time Elisha learned what’s what.

I run my fingers through my hair before turning to face her. She has her back pressed hard against the door, her hands white-knuckled by her sides, and her eyes looking anywhere but at me.

“What the hell do you think you’re playin’ at, Elisha?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Her voice is so low it took me a minute to work out what she said.

“Talkin’ to that piece of shi.t when you belong to me?! Not happening, Elisha!”

She jumps out of her skin. She looks petrified. This isn’t the girl I remember from a month ago. Not the scared, timid little girl I see before me.

“Look at me!” I bellow.

She jumps again before slowly bringing her eyes to mine. Her eyes dart as if she needs to look away, but I won’t allow that.

“Do not look away from me.”

“Why are you doing this? You said you didn’t want me anymore.”

I press myself against her. Her breathing hitches as I lean into her, my mouth next to her ear. God, I can smell her perfume. It’s fuckin.g intoxicating. “I hate you.” I grit down her ear. I feel her chest rise and fall with emotion. That hurt her, and I don’t give a shi.t. “I hate you for what you did.”

“I know,” She whispers. “I hate me, too.”

“I hate you for using me.” I grip her slim waist with force, bringing her lower half against me. “I hate you for leaving me.” I grind out between my teeth while pressing my erectio.n into her. I hate my fuckin.g self for wanting her the way I do. My brain might detest her, but my dic.k certainly doesn’t. “And I fuckin’ hate you for making me want you like this.”

“Dominic,” She moans my name.

I grab her throat in my hand so fast her eyes are bulging in fear. “My name is Wrench, Bitc.h! And don’t you ever forget it.” My mouth crushes hers, my tongue invades her mouth, and she moans into me. This is too fast for her; she can’t keep up, but she slides her hands up my chest. I don’t want her to fuckin’ touch me. This isn’t about her. She’s not going to find any pleasure here.

I grab her wrists in my left hand and hold them above her head. Releasing her throat, I slide my hand under her dress and between her legs. She’s wet. She’s always wet for me.

“Wrench, please don’t.” She gasps and sobs against my mouth. Like I’m going to listen to her. I want her, I need her, but God, I fuckin.g hate her!

I forcefully pull Elie away from the door, bending her over the small desk that holds only a lamp. She struggles against me, and I slap her ass with force. She screams in pain, but it won’t stop me. I lift Elie’s dress over her ass, and my hand on the back of her neck holds her down. She’s wearing a thong. Good girl.

“This is for lying to me!” I slap her with so much force she can’t even scream, and the handprint left behind on her right cheek is already blistering. “This is for using me.” Again, I hit her. “This is for...” For everything she’s fuckin.g done to me!

By the time I’ve finished spanking her ass, she’s full of bruises and blisters, and... she’s a sobbing mess, and I hate how that tears me up inside. I hate that I’ve hurt her like this, but I need to punish her for what she did. This is the only way I know how.

I pull away from her, my chest heaving like I’ve run five miles.

“Please,” She sobs while pulling herself up and her dress down.

“Who the fuc.k told you to get up?!”

She stumbles as she turns to face me. “I’m so sorry,” For fuck.s sake! “I’m so sorry. I love you.”

“Don’t say that fuckin’ shi.t to me!” I yell while grabbing her upper arms and shaking her like a rag-doll. “Don’t you lie to me!”

“I’m not lying. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry, Wrench.”