Fated Across Worlds

Homecoming (1)

"Oh, that rule," Hilde breathed out, her knotted forehead relaxing. "Is it really important, though? I’ve never heard of it being enforced before."

"That's because everyone else already knows to follow it," Lady Ilse replied acidly. "It rarely needs to be enforced, but make no mistake, it will be if it proves necessary."

Though it had slipped her mind, this piece of information belonged to the category of things that the original Hilde had simply taken for granted. It tied in with how her country put great stock in matters of rank, seniority, and ability—in that order.

That is, a male was a male and a female was a female—that’s all well and good, but what was his or her order of birth? More importantly, to which parents? 

For matters of inheritance, especially, aside from whether or not a person was the firstborn, the last relevant question that needed answering was "Is he or she capable?" After that, every other consideration was secondary.

For certain other matters, one gender or the other still remained preferable. For instance, entering the army or simply learning combat arts was still a traditionally male pursuit.

However, there was no rule in place that would automatically prevent a female from becoming a soldier or, if she's highborn, learning privately from a young age and perhaps becoming an officer someday. In their society, as long as a person had the aptitude and not merely the desire to learn, resources would be spared for them to be taught, regardless of their gender.

That was also true for most other pursuits or professions. For example, the Queendom had a lot of male cooks and dressmakers, and the Royal Physician, appointed before the Queen's ascension, was a woman.

Despite all this, female soldiers remained extremely rare, though there's always a small spike in their numbers in times of war. Meanwhile, female officers were nearly the stuff of legends.

Because the fact of the matter was, the question of whether or not a female had the aptitude for combat or military leadership was moot if she did not have the desire to learn those skills in the first place. Few young girls did, and even fewer encouraged it in them.

Then there was Hilde.

The princess had first been dubbed an oddity for being sword-obsessed right out of the cradle. But even for her—or perhaps especially for her—matters had not been so straightforward.

She had only been the spare of a spare before terrible circumstances raised her status, and no one believed she could eventually take a position in the military like her brother did, for the simple reason that she had not been formally raised for it.

The only other use she could serve was to marry for political gain, but no one would even bother to wonder if the ungovernable princess would agree to that. Putting it mildly, she had not been raised to become a bride either, so the more pressing question was… who would have her?

A perfect shield indeed.

Hilde grinned at her cousin. "Well, there's that. You are completely safe, then."

This time, all the carriage occupants laughed, then Lady Ilse interjected: "Not forever, I should hope!"

When she heard that, Hilde's grin suddenly fell. She had been careful these last few days not to dwell upon certain thoughts. Like her body, her self-control had also been too fragile to withstand being tested. But now, with this seemingly unrelated matter, Hilde's feelings were brutally dragged from their hiding place.

The Lady's fear was well-grounded.

The only man Hilde could ever have been compelled to marry was dead.

"Hilde…" she heard Gisela whisper, her voice full of sympathy for her cousin and not a hint of concern for herself.

Hilde looked up to find the young woman who's golden in every sense watching her face. Gisela could probably see everything that was written on it, but Hilde chose to lie anyway.

"I've just been feeling each small bump on the road, don't mind me." After showing a thin smile, she closed her eyes. It would normally have been a bad idea given how dizzy she truly felt, but trying to sleep was not her intent. Eyes still shut, she told the people in the carriage, "If you find I've lost consciousness, do not worry. And feel free to increase our speed."

With that, she disconnected her mind from her body, forcefully releasing herself from the emotions she could no longer suppress.

***

When Hilde opened her eyes, she was back in the Cube with its black floor and white walls and ceiling. It had only been a few days since she was last here, but somehow, the interval felt longer.

Having "arrived" on her feet, the first thing she did was sit down, intending to stare at nothing for however long the carriage ride to Oste was going to take.

But she soon recalled that even here, she would not completely escape her grief. 

Thoughts and memories possessed their own unbearable weight. 

At the very least, however, in this sterile place that really only housed her consciousness and echoes of her emotions, there were none of the bodily substances that made human feelings such a curse to bear.

Just as she was making herself comfortable, her new least-favorite entity in any world made his presence known.

[Thought I'd let you stay here and escape, did you?] Prick said in his lazy drawl. [Tell me, which part of 'endure' did you not understand?]

Lacking energy even here, Hilde replied, "I have been enduring."

[Yes, sure,] he answered. [For all of ten seconds. Then you ran away again. You do not endure what you don't even allow yourself to feel, princess.]

Hilde let that one pass. It was too on-the-mark to argue with. Instead, she latched on to an opening Prick unwittingly offered by flippantly calling her “princess.”

"Why am I not Gisela?" she asked. When she made that question to herself earlier, it was more of a hormone-fueled query by a teenager who was envious of what another had that she did not. Now, it was mostly the intellectual curiosity of the part of her that used to be a 27-year-old influential superstar. "If I simply needed to be someone important, say—there are two princesses here, and one is a lot more ‘princess’ than the other. Why me and not her?"

Not at all privately, she added to herself, 'If I were going to feel guilty for stealing an identity anyway, why not for becoming the most beautiful woman in the land?'