Taming the Ice: #13 Beckett Storm

Chapter 21

(Elodie)

Why is this happening to me?!

Every damn night this week I swear I have dreamt about Beckett. Not just any type of dream either. It's dreams that wake me up with a jolt as I gasp for air, trying to push those thoughts away as I look around my room in confusion.

I swear he had to be there. It all felt so freaking real. I could even smell the cologne he used. Granted I sleep in his hoodie every night like some psycho, but it's just because I'm trying to play the part.

At least, that's what I'm telling myself. I have no clue what the hell is happening.

And to make things worse, Hudson won't stop calling me like crazy. It started the morning after I met up with Beckett. Obviously I couldn't show my face to Hudson considering I was covered in hickeys. So I lied and said I was sick.

I have even been trying to avoid Ari as well.

I am so deep into this lie, that I don't even know what's real anymore.

I swear the moment my phone vibrates and I get a text notification, my heart starts to race. I can't help but wonder if it will be another picture of Beckett. The last one he sent was of him lying in bed. He was fully clothed thank god... but somehow it seemed even more intimate than the others. Like he was sharing a small glimpse of his private life that no one else gets to see.

I might have been trying to avoid not only him but Hudson as well. I just can't focus at school when they keep popping up everywhere!

Like two days ago, I managed to leave class early so I wouldn't run into Hudson and decided to go to the Cafe Ari works at. I grabbed a chai latte and blueberry muffin, then when I went to turn around I almost ran straight into Beckett's chest.

"Are you avoiding me sunshine?" Beckett asked darkly, making me swallow hard as I watched him eye my muffin. And that's when he did the unthinkable.

I watched in horror as he bent down, taking a huge ass bite right off the top.

"Hey! That's the best part." I grumbled, frowning down at the huge chunk he took.

"It really is isn't it?" He smirked, making my stomach do that flipping thing I wanted to avoid.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, wondering if he came here often or something. I swear I had never seen him anywhere social but at the Ice rink.

"Answer my question first." Beckett quipped, making me sigh before stepping around him and heading towards a small table in the back.

"Maybe, but you aren't the only one I'm avoiding if that makes it better." I said honestly, not needing to lie to Beckett. For some reason, I felt like I didn't have to. I don't know why.

Maybe because I knew he wouldn't judge me.

Beckett just laughed before reaching out and stealing my drink next, taking a sip.

"Seriously?" I grumbled.

That's when Beckett raised his eyebrow as humor filled his face.

"So you don't mind having my tongue down your throat but when it comes to sharing a drink, that's where you draw the line?" He teased, making my face turn red instantly as my eyes widened in horror.

"Beckett!" I whisper yelled, glancing around as he suddenly reached out, taking my hand next.

"Sunshine, in two days we will be official anyways. Why hide it?" He added playfully, and what he said had my body melting beneath his gaze.

Why does he have to say it like that? I know we are supposed to be pretending... But how can he act like it's normal?

It's confusing... Obviously I know it's all fake, but my heart doesn't seem to be getting the memo.

And that's a problem. A big big problem.

Things have been changing. Of course I still care for Hudson, but I'm starting to wonder why I'm even doing this to begin with.

"Did you hear me Elodie?" Beckett asked, making my eyes snap to his.

"Sorry, what did you say?" I whispered, seeing a serious expression now fill his face.

"Saturday night. You remember what you have to do right? I don't want you even looking towards Hudson. You need to be solely focused on me. You've been ignoring him all week like I said, right?" He asked, those ice-blue orbs seeming to grow darker by the second.

"I'm trying! It's just hard. He has been showing up at the apartment now. He even had my dad call to check in on me." I grumbled while picking at the muffin as Beckett continued to hold my other hand tightly.

It's crazy how I have become used to things like this. Even when he plays with my hair, it's something I almost expect at this point.

"Well, if you want this to work out. You need to keep ignoring him. That way he can see what it's like to not have you around." Beckett stated before letting go of my hand and leaning back in his chair.

"Beckett... After we make it official, then what? I mean... What if the girl you like wants to be with you immediately?" I whispered, looking down at the table now as the mere thought made my stomach twist.

God, why was I like this? I still had no clue who it was Beckett liked... and yet I couldn't help but glance around when we were together, wondering if she was here now watching us as Beckett put on a show.

He was doing this all for her after all.

I could felt Beckett's eyes burning into me, but I couldn't look up. I felt so freaking pathetic for feeling this way.

Get ahold of yourself Elodie. You know exactly what will happen.

"What do you want to happen?" He suddenly asked, making my eyes widen as I finally peered up at him.

"I... I want you to be happy." I confessed, knowing whatever selfish feelings I had didn't matter. I don't even know what I wanted truthfully.

I mean, I still wanted Hudson, right?

Beckett just stared at me for a few moments, his gaze flicking from my eyes to my lips before he let out a sigh.

"Always so selfless, aren't you Elodie? You don't give a s**t about what you want, only what others do. I can't say the same for myself."

And with that, he got up and left.

That was the last time I saw him in person two days ago.

Obviously, he has sent me a text here or there. But I haven't run into him again. And now that the game is tonight. I'm a little nervous to see him, I won't lie.

What if it's weird between us? I mean, I knew I had to kiss him, but I hadn't even looked him in the eyes in the last 48 hours. So how am I supposed to run up and Throw myself at him?

I felt butterflies flood through my stomach at the thought, making me let out a shuddering breath as I felt something shake my bed. If I had to guess, it was a door slamming.

I popped my head up, glancing towards my door as I quickly reached for my implant before slipping it over my ear and turned it on.

That's when I heard Ari curse, making me jump out of bed and head towards the living room.

"Hey? Everything ok-" I paused, seeing Ari was dressed in what she wore lastnight as she crept towards her room.

"Ari, are you just getting in?" I asked, watching her face morph into a look of guilt as she bit her lip softly.

"Don't be mad." She began, making me blink my eyes rapidly.

Then I started coming up with dozens of scenarios and half of them included Hudson.

But the feelings that came with it wasn't anger or hurt... It was relief.. Why the hell would that make me feel relieved?!

"I was with Pete lastnight... We kind of made things official... Again." She explained, making my mouth drop open as I saw the worry that crossed her face.

"He swore that he wouldn't cheat again! This time he is serious El, I could see it in his eyes. He meant it." She rushed out, trying to explain things.

"I know I haven't been here much, and I have kind of been avoiding you..." She has?

"But that's why. You aren't mad, right?" She asked, and I could hear the emotion in her voice. She was close to crying I could tell.

"Of course not-"

Before I could even finish, she practically tackled me to the floor, hugging me tightly as relief flooded through her.

"Thank you El. I know I said I wouldn't take him back, but I just can't get him out of my head. He is all I think about. Even my dreams are filled with him and it's driving me insane. I read this thing that says if you dream about someone almost every night, it means you are connected to them somehow. Like it's your subconscious telling you that your in love with them."

"In love with them?!" I almost choked, feeling my eyes widen.

"Yeah, that one podcast I listen to with the psychic talked about it for like an hour. We can't force our dreams and usually if it's a recurring dream, it means something much deeper. So the fact that Pete pops into my dream every night, I mean, I took it as a sign. I'm just not done with him yet."

I swallowed hard, taking her words a lot more seriously than I probably should have... But I have had a dream about Beckett every night this week. What does that mean?!

Usually my dreams about Hudson would be every few months or so... It's probably because of stress. Yeah, that has to be it.

"Uh, it feels so good to get that off of my chest. I swear it has been killing me to keep it from you." Ari sniffled before pulling back and wiping at her nose.

"So what has been going on with you? Did anything happen with Hudson?"