Shadow of the Beast

Family Secrets

I'd spent most of the day sitting in a state of shock. Yes, I'd gotten what I wanted, to stay with Aunt Kate. But not in the way that I'd wanted. I'd hoped that mom and I would have a heart to heart and she'd see that I was better off here, not that she'd leave in a flurry of anger and make me feel like I'd been written off as her daughter. 

'Don't worry honey, it's me she's mad at, not you.' Aunt Kate had said. It made no difference though, it still felt like my own mother hated me and thought that I didn't give a s**t about her. 

Aunt Kate, as if sensing exactly what I was thinking, pulled up a chair next to me, put on the kettle, and said 'let's get some coffee on, and I'll give you all the answers you need. It's time you knew.' 

She poured us each a coffee, and as I wrapped my fingers around the cup, she started to talk. She told me about her and mom's childhood - something mom had never discussed with me - and the puzzle pieces started to come together. 

Kate was 10 years younger than mom, which is probably why she filled the position of 'cool aunt/big sister' so well. My grandmother had given birth to my mother when she was around my age, and she had always refused to tell anyone who the father of the child was. Apparently it had been a big taboo around the town, with people speculating as to who the father was, and many teenage boys being interrogated by the school and their parents. The assumption was that she was protecting the father of her child from the embarrassment of being with her. 

Kate explained that my grandmother had been, for lack of a better word, strange. She was very beautiful, but the kids at school called her a weirdo and spread rumors that she was into witchcraft and strange practices. Her tendencies to randomly tell people to 'beware the beast in the woods', and her refusal to go outside when the moon was full did not lend merit to her case. 

Years later, when mom was a teenager, my grandmother had been institutionalized, and had died in her room within the first week. It was ruled a suicide, and she had chosen to take her life on the night of a full moon. 

Mom had been placed in the care of her aunt and uncle, who adopted her and brought her up as their own, alongside their daughter Katherine. 

My head was reeling. My aunt was actually my mom's cousin? And the grandparents who mom never wanted me to meet were my great aunt and uncle? I still had so many unanswered questions though. None of this explained mom's attitude towards me, or why she hated William Wilk so much. My mother had kept so many secrets from me, and just about the only one she hadn't managed to keep was Aunt Kate, but that was because she was bold enough to force her way into our lives and stick around, no matter how many fights she and mom got in to. 

Aunt Kate placed her hand on my arm and gave me a gentle squeeze. 'You look just like your grandmother, honey. That's why your mom wanted to keep you... Frumpy. I think she was afraid that if you looked too beautiful, what happened to your grandmother would happen to you. In her own, twisted way, she was trying to protect you.'

'Protect me from what? How... How does any of this make sense to her?' I said. 

'Well, your mother always had a theory that she was a product of your grandmother being taken advantage of. She was 15 when she got pregnant, and she was beautiful, but the boys at school all thought she was strange. But at a certain point, there's gonna be a man who ignores the fact that she's 'strange', and just looks at her for her physical beauty.'

'You mean, a grown man?' I whispered. 

'A grown, adult, married man.' she said softly. 'We think she was abused, and the "beast in the woods" that she referred to was the person that hurt her, because mentally she wasn't strong enough to come to terms that something so awful had happened to her.'

I swallowed a big gulp of my coffee, processing what had just been said. This explained a lot of my mother's behavior to me, but one question remained. 

'Come with me,' Aunt Kate said, grabbing my hand. 'your mother wanted answers too, and I kept a copy of what she found.' 

We sat in front of her computer, and Aunt Kate opened up a folder called 'Family History'. I saw thumbnails of old black and white photographs, and she waved the curser down the screen until she landed on a file called 'Celia Marsh Birth Cert'. She took a deep breath, and double clicked the file. As it loaded up on the screen, I wondered why we were looking at my mother's birth certificate... But then I saw it in the parent details. 

Mother: Violet Olivia Marsh

Father: William Victor Wilk