Jazz and Steam

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“What’s wrong with me?” I thought as I shivered and held myself tight enough to bruise. My face came to rest on the wet wood and my tears soon made it even wetter.

Memories came to assault me then, awkward dates with guys that didn’t interest me. Their mindless dialog about this car, that sport. It was a sickening mixture. But at the same time the gossipy hours of chatter from Julie was just as unbearable.

There was a light in the fog then. Quickly I try to compose myself but failed.

“I saw the condensation on the window. I was wondering if my sauna was broken.” The cedar bent as she sat down next to me. “You okay? I’m going to guess no.”

Lifting my head, I looked up at the owner of the salon. Her dark skin was the color of coffee with one cream. Her tight braided hair had quickly gathered a spider’s web of water droplets from the air. She had greeted us at the door when we came in. She got us the long white robes and our first glass of wine.

The wine... maybe that was it. The wine must have been bad. It had got me all... whiny. I shook my head at the ludicrous thought.

She took it to mean no, that I’m not alright.

How I went from lying down to in her arms being hugged I don’t know, but I suddenly found myself on the receiving end.

Maybe it was her arms. Soft and strong, they reminded me of my Mom’s. Maybe it was the sweet jasmine scent that hung around her, reminding me of summer. Hell, it could even have been the little wooden beads in her hair, reminding me of the old rattle curtain at my grandmother’s house. Whatever it is I simply hold onto her and bawled my eyes out.

Even though she didn’t know what I was crying about she understood. Her arms gave comfort, her voice a whisper of not even half-heard words that gave even more. Her hands caressed the back of my head, holding me to her chest. Her chin resting on my head, she gently rocked me as I cried.

How many minutes I just let myself cry I don’t know. It felt like forever but I finally stopped. It was at about the same time that I found myself becoming very aware of just how soft and nice my pillow was.

“Feeling better?” she asked softly.

“I think so,” I said with a sniffle.

As I sat back I saw her give me a smile. Her lips under a covering of rose colored lip gloss looked so very kissable.

What the hell am I thinking!

Her hand appeared in my view when I looked down and she took hold of my chin. I let her lift it till I was looking into her eyes. I think her startlingly blue eyes might have been contacts, but I wasn’t sure. I had never seen blue eyes on a person of her race but she could have been the exception.

“Want to tell me about it?” she asked with a soft tilt of her head. “I’m a stranger. What would telling me hurt? I won’t judge you no matter what.”

I could hear the sincerity. But dare I...?

“I think I might be a lesbian,” I said softly, almost not believing I was saying it.

She slowly smiled.

*