Tempered by the Will

10 - Visions

 The knock at her door was tempting to ignore, but Vica peeled her gaze from the window that looked out over the grassy hill and turned around. It wasn't Constantine. He was buzzing somewhere at the edges of her awareness, his anti-magic swirling at a distance. He was probably downstairs in the opposite wing of the manor.

"Who is it."

"Me, madam. I was told that you sent your attendant away. Is there anything I can help with instead?"

Felix. She rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the window. She didn't trust his pretty face and innocent little curls, and she had had enough of men who wanted to turn her to their ways like she was little more than a rudder on their boat. She was her own ship now, and she had her own destination.

"There's nothing," she said, and then paused. That wasn't quite true. She had questions, ones that she had meant to ask Constantine but decided not to, because even looking at his face right now was enough to make her want to hit something. Maybe she could ask Felix instead. Some of them, at least; not the ones concerning her doubts about him and his movement.

"Actually, there is. Come in, I want to ask you a few things."

She peeked over her shoulder to see the door opening without a sound. For some reason, that put her on edge - she wouldn't be sleeping peacefully at night here with the knowledge that anyone could creep into her room undetected. But as it was, the so-called duke stepped in and...closed the door behind him.

The hairs on the back of her neck rose. She didn't like that. But more curious was the momentary spike she felt in Constantine's distant presence as if he were responding to her alarm. Of course - he could sense her, she'd forgotten about that. She sucked in a deep, calming breath to settle her nerves as quickly as possible. She didn't want to give Constantine an excuse to charge up here and barge in here. For the first time in days, her magic could breathe a little without his stifling aura pressing down upon it.

"Am I making you uncomfortable? I'm sorry. I can leave if you'd like, I just wanted to see how you were doing..."

Oh. Felix must be thinking that the tight way she held herself was because of him. Ha. No.

"You're not. I'm just not feeling well. Should we sit?" She didn't wait for an answer and pointed her finger at the small table beside her. There were two chairs there already, how convenient. She pulled one out and dropped into it before gesturing at him to do the same with the other. "I wanted to ask you about your Mark. You summoned it earlier or something, when we were passing through the barrier. How did you do that? Constantine should have been close enough that you can't use magic. The Charter is magic, isn't it?"

It wasn't until he crossed the large bedroom and came to a stop a few feet away that she noticed his clothes. A dark green doublet with a silken silver sheen, smooth and...expensive. It was slim and accentuated the lean lines of his body perhaps with a little too much enthusiasm, and the matching breeches he wore did the same. They looked a bit tight in an admittedly appealing way, but she couldn't imagine that they would be all that comfortable to run in. Wasn't he Resistance? Didn't that mean he was supposed to be ready to, she didn't know, jump up and sneak into action from the shadows at a moment's notice?

She couldn't imagine Constantine ever wearing something like that, what with his dark wardrobe that seemed to consist exclusively of plain pants and tunics. And cloaks. Couldn't forget those.

He waited until he was settled in his seat to respond, one hand pushing back his hair from his forehead and his eyes fixed on her in rapt attention. Well, she'd give him that, at least. He looked eager to please.

"Marks are inherently magical, but they're not activated," he said. "What you see when I summon it from my flesh is just a shadow of the imprint, a signature that was stored there. It's ever-present and already active, and once triggered in the presence of something powerful like the Wall, it's pulled forth like a spooled string. I'm not actively channeling anything, therefore Constantine's suppression does nothing."

"That's not true." Vica shook her head. "His anti-magic, it works on objects. Inanimate objects. I've seen him dismantle this...harness covered in seals."

"It likely took him a great deal of effort, then. I don't claim to know much of his abilities, but anti-magic isn't innately effective against much except living beings. I'm assuming he did something to corrupt the seals, maybe. That might be possible if they were powered with a blood sacrifice, which still counts as living magic. But Resistance is futile against old magic, and the Charter system is at least in part hinged on that."

"Old magic," she repeated. "But I've seen...evidence of abominations being committed in the name of the Charter. When I was in a place called Winding Oaks, there was this man who'd had his magic bound up and twisted until it had nothing of him anymore. I was told that the Order does that to mages whenever they feel like it."

"Ah. The Dominated."

She tilted her head and stared at him with an incredulous frown. "Ah?" she repeated. "That's all? You say that like it's not the most disgusting thing you've ever seen -"

"You'll see worse," he interrupted smoothly. "The Capital is known for its atrocities. What they do to mages that try to break away from their control, or mages they can't rein in...it's horrific, but it can and does get worse. The man you saw in this place, Winding Oaks? I guarantee you there are others who suffer worse fates. Right now, I mean. In fact, if you go deeper into the Inner Sanctum and enter the Grand Courtyard district, you'll see what I mean."

"I don't want to see it. It shouldn't happen. Shouldn't exist."

"And yet it does. This place used to be the seat of an empire so thoroughly malevolent and corrupt that even after generations, the populace still operates on those same rotten dregs that make up this society's workings. It'll take blood and violence to clean it out, because blood and violence is how it came in. And don't forget that mages at least hold some inherent protection here, the privilege of heritage. The ungifted aren't even afforded those basic rights to protect themselves. Everyone who lives here under the shadow of the Order is essentially a slave."

She let out a sharp, ugly breath. Just hearing Felix speak so calmly of these things made her want to lash out, reach over and grab him by the throat to shake sense into him. He should be saying these things with outrage, anger -

Again, she felt Constantine stir from afar, and she reluctantly forced herself to settle again. Patience. It was no use throttling this man in front of her when she still needed him and his possible deceitful promises of camaraderie. For as long as he thought that she was under his control, she would let him believe it. And then she would make her decision.

"So what were you going to do with me when you brought me here?" she demanded. "Turn me into a believer in the Resistance? Make me one of your recruits, a soldier for your cause?"

This time, it was his turn to sigh. He folded his hands in his lap and continued to stare at her.

"...I wasn't aware that you would be reasonable. The vision that I received from my grandfather - it was nothing more than flashes of images. And what he showed me of you..."

Her heart twisted in her chest as if someone had gripped it tight and twisted it. "I'm aware," she said, brusque. "He never had high hopes for me. So, what. You were going to have me captured and restrained here so that I couldn't do any damage? Or were you going to try to use me against your enemies?" A dry, displeased smile hooked the corners of her mouth to go with the dark look that shadowed her eyes. "Philio warned me about all the ways that the others like me left their mark. I'll save you time and effort right now and tell you that you won't be able to trick me according to whatever crooked plans you have. I'm fairly done with being manipulated against my will."

"I have no intention of that now. Yes, I - when I wasn't aware that you were of sound mind, I did think that I could...shape you in a civilized way. Better to use what I have than to let it rot, if it's in the name of the greater good. But there's no need to worry about that anymore, so of course I can only ask for your help instead of coercing it..."

"Coerce. Huh. So if I said no, if I said I wouldn't help you, then what?"

For the first time since they had met, his angular face hardened for an instant into an angry expression, but he didn't hold it long enough for her to examine more closely. With a heaving sigh, he unfolded his hands and slapped them down on his knees in an exasperated gesture.

"Please. Constantine told me that you came here for the purpose of bringing change. I can only assume that means you're willing to sacrifice the lesser for the greater, and I don't think I deserve blame for being willing to do the same. Yes, if you had resisted, if you had been insane, if you had been morally incommunicable, I would have tried hard to find a way to bind your magic and force you to help. Yes, I would have stooped to those depths if I thought that it might change for the better the lives of the tens of thousand of souls here. Call me corrupt and evil if you want, but I was willing to do what it took to -"

"What are you saying? You would have turned me into a - you would have had me Dominated?"

His face tightened again. "In the Capital, a Domination is sometimes for the sake of protecting others. Not everything is black and white. Would you oppose punishing a serial r****t, a murderer, an out of control mage who terrorizes innocents? Or would you slap him on the wrist and wait for him to harm someone else?"

She stared back. Something about this conversation struck a sickly familiar chord in her...Oren. Hadn't he said the same thing as they fought over whether to murder Killian the mage in cold blood? He had argued the same thing, that evil done unto evil for the sake of quashing it from existence was justified.

And yes. In the end, she had agreed because the logic had been infallible. That didn't mean it was easy. Not yet, at least...

"Fine. We'll table that discussion for another time, but I swear to you." She raised her hand and put it gently down on the table before scraping the surface with her nails, slowly, menacingly. "If you ever try to do that to me, I promise I will make you regret it. And believe me, I'm not making empty threats."

He had to know everything she had done to the Order battalion that had converged on her two weeks ago. Constantine had said that she was famous, or some such nonsense. All she cared about was that no one took her lightly, that no one tried to tread on her. Not anymore.

"...I understand. I just wanted to be honest with you."

She paused at his disarming confession, lips pursing as she considered it. That was true, she preferred the blunt truth over false double-talk. If he had said he never had any intention of harming her from the very beginning, she would of course have known it was a lie. And that would have set her even more firmly against him.

"Vica, I understand that you have grievances against me. I was wrong. I know that, and I knew that, but I had to do what was necessary for the greater good. If I'd known that you would be willing to help, I would never have subjected you to any of...that. I sent Constantine because I was led to believe that you were incredibly dangerous and out of control, that on the first provocation, you would m**m and destroy. Yes, there were rumors that you were doing good works in the countryside far, far away, but stories are twisted. They almost always prove false. All I knew was that there was a powerful bush mage wandering around doing whatever they pleased, defying Order law without fear. There were dozens of others who went in search of you, you know. I was just the first to find you because I knew approximately where your home village is, or at least the general region."

She shifted in her seat. "Philio showed you where that is, too?"

"Like I said, only flashes. It was more that he ignited the Charter link and I could sense his location...more or less."

"And all he showed you about me in this, vision or whatever - it was just that I was dangerous? And that he wanted you to take care of....it?"

And now Felix looked uncomfortable. "My grandfather was always - dogmatic. Your power, grave magic, it's never been anything but a symbol of -"

"I know." She waved the rest of his words away. She didn't need reminders of all the terrible things Philio had told her, about her fate as if she had no control over it. "Trust me, I remember everything he's told me. But he was wrong, and I intend to prove it."

"For what it's worth, I always believed he was wrong when he preached about inherent good and evil even when I was just a boy. Grave magic is taboo, but the magic isn't meant to shape the soul. It's the other way around. I've always thought that."

"And yet you believed him when he showed you doomsday visions about me."

"You have to understand that it was all I knew of you. I didn't even know if you were a man or a woman or how old you were, just...memories. Of things that you had done."

She stiffened. "How much did he show you?"

"...A great deal."

Typical. She should have known that the only image the old man ever had of her in his mind was her capacity for destruction and harm. But really? Even to his very deathbed...

"Fine. So what now?" she asked, suddenly desperate to change the subject. "What's the next step for me and you?"

The duke gave her a small smile. "Now we begin your education."