Tempered by the Will

11 - Small Sacrifices

 "When you said education, I thought you meant learning how to properly use my magic," Vica said, her voice containing more than a tinge of annoyance. "I'm not interested in learning about the Order's history right now."

They were in his spacious private library in another wing of the estate, and Constantine's presence felt even farther away here than it had when she was in her room. He was distant enough that they could use magic, she was sure, and even if he wasn't, he could scoot off and away so that they could get to work. She didn't care what he did anyway. Probably go off and sulk on his own, it was no business of hers.

What the duke was doing, on the other hand, was of great relevance to her, and she didn't like that he had brought over half a dozen thick tomes of leather-bound books to the large table she sat at. And as he had just explained that the topmost volume was something concerning mage genealogies and other such nonsense, she was taking a stand and refusing to waste her time with this.

"It's important," he said, and he opened the thick book to a random page before patting it lightly with one palm. "This is the record of every alliance in the Capital and in the sister cities between the Houses, including House Aventine. You need to memorize the symbol for each Charter - and while we're at it, you need to learn how to read runes. I can tell you can't; otherwise, you would have been able to read and identify the nature of my Mark. At least some of it."

"Meaning?" she repeated, and she leaned back in her chair with a frown. Her hands hung off the edge of the table, finger hooked over the top as if she were about to push herself away and leave the conversation, which she very much wanted to do right now. But she would give him a chance. "What do you mean. It's a shape, you can't 'read' that."

"Not so. Everyone memorizes the basics, but so many are too lazy to learn the spirit of the Old Word. Learning the language is critical to becoming stronger and more versatile in its use, if done right. It's important. Otherwise, you would only be carving the runes by rote memory instead of invoking their true power. Runes are the oldest language in the world, Vica, and Marks are offshoots of them. You can learn a great deal about each of your enemies just by learning to read and understand every meaning embedded in them."

She blinked at him a few times with her brow still furrowed, making sure that he saw clearly just how unimpressed she was. Yes, of course she wanted to learn the finer points of magic and spellcasting eventually, but this wasn't necessary for going up against an oppressive government that needed to be swept off their iron thrones. What in hell was reading runes going to do for her that smacking them with raw magic couldn't? Was she supposed to bore them to death with a dissertation on whatever their Marks meant?

"Listen, Felix, Duke Aventine, whatever I'm supposed to call you. I get that this is important, and I'm also starting to understand that I probably should have learned this a long time ago. But doing this is not going to help me tomorrow if I run into an Order member who wants me dead. And - a lot of people want me dead. Just reminding you."

"They can't get to you so easily," he assured her, and he settled down into the high-backed chair opposite hers. "The Order is an organization, but not an alliance. Every House that heads it is sovereign unto themselves. There will be no army knocking on my door and demanding that you hand yourself over - this is my domain, and I'm offering you asylum."

"Then how come we had to be so secretive when we came here?"

"...Because it's still wise to be discreet. The later they learn of your presence here, the more time we have to prepare for when they inevitably try to invade."

"Invade!"

"Yes. House wars...But that's something else you will learn about if you listen to me and go over this volume. We are not a simple village governed by one leader. We are an organism. A colony of organisms, all with our own histories, ambitions, and methods. The sooner you are able to discern the way we do things here -"

"So listen," she interrupted. "What I heard is that the Capital is controlled by the most powerful. Might is right, or something like that. I was thinking instead of trying to be so diplomatic, why don't we just -"

"Conquer the city and all its people through violence and arbitrarily change the system that has been in place for hundreds of years now, thereby doing exactly what the predecessors of the Order did after the fall of the empire?"

A small silence followed, and she pushed her hair back from her forehead with a small shrug. "Well, I have good intentions. It's not like I'm going to be enslaving anyone or making all non-mages nothing more than second class citizens. I'm trying to do something good here."

But Felix shook his head, rejecting her defense with no hesitation at all. Ha, she thought. Of course he would have a problem with it. Constantine was right; he was one of the privileged members of this lopsided society and had everything to lose if it revolutionized. Why else would he be so adamant against the use of force in the name of good? It wasn't as if the people would be any less satisfied with their newfound autonomy just because she had bashed a few heads in - the heads of the ones oppressing them.

"You don't understand," he said, but before she could bristle at his dismissive attitude, he pushed the pile of books aside so that he could look her in the eye across the table. "You think that the common people are looking to be freed from their shackles and that you're some kind of liberator who comes to answer all their prayers. They're not, and you're not. The Resistance is small. We number less than a hundred in a city that contains nearly a hundred thousand souls, and only half of us are ungifted. They aren't looking for liberation, Vica. You are coming into a city where the people have been conditioned to believe that it is a privilege to serve under the mage class, and that everyone else who lives outside these bounds are nothing but savages and idiots."

She glared at him, unwilling to believe the ridiculous claim. Maybe he thought that way because he wanted to believe that the people weren't chafing and suffocating under his weight, and that they were actually having the time of their lives. Maybe he thought that way because he wanted to feel less guilty about taking so long to make a change, to take action. One thing was for sure, he seemed fond of the idea of dragging his feet.

"I don't have time to learn a language," she said in a slow, deliberate tone. "That cane come after. Runes are not going to disappear from the world anytime soon. So first, I want to focus on how we're - or I - will fight the Order. Tell me what they can do, how dangerous they are. Tell me what I need to do to beat them. Or - you know what? I don't mind learning a few tricks here and there, on second thought, like how to break out of one of those seal traps on my own or, I don't know...banish spirits and possessions. That kind of thing, I'll take. But I'm not going to sit here like I'm in a schoolroom and do grammar lessons in a language that'll take years for me to learn anyway. What I learn today needs to help me tomorrow, Felix. I don't know how to make that any clearer."

"I understand that, and I get it. You want to see changes right here, right now. But to be blunt with you, you're riding the high of having wiped out a battalion of Order soldiers a while ago and thinking that you can do the same thing here. You can't. This is not a society ready for change, and the only way they'll accept it is -"

"Obviously!" she exclaimed. "Of course the Order doesn't want change, since they have it good right now treading over everyone else! I don't care what they want or whether they accept it. It's going to happen to them whether they like it or not."

"I'm not talking about the Order," he said, and his voice was sharp enough to pass for a snap. It startled her; he had been so mild-mannered and obliging despite her stubbornness that she had taken it for granted. Well, then. Was he finally showing his true colors?

"Then what!"

"I already told you. The people here are comfortable with the way things are. Too comfortable. They need to be woken up first, eased into water, not thrown in -"

"Eased into being free! Are you serious."

"They've been this way for so long that it's become second nature to sacrifice their dignity for what they think is security. There are the poor, and the poor will always exist no matter what the place or time, but most of the Capital's population is given their daily bread and water to drink and jobs to earn with. Do you not realize how difficult it is for a population this massive to thrive? Villages fall apart when there are too many people and not enough to go around. How do you think the Order manages to keep everyone under control?"

"With fear -"

"Fear won't stop people from trying to leave," he told her, and his eyes flashed with frustration as he swiped his palm across the table's surface between them. "And fear doesn't keep people's bellies full, either. No. The Order makes sure that there's always food, always drink. The Capital has eternal gardens that are nourished year round by a veritable army of life and earth mages to stave off famine. Weather mages control the climate and protect the people from droughts, hurricanes, hail. Healer mages go around and offer their services once per year for free, traveling like pilgrims from district to district. And most of all, anyone whose family produces a mage automatically climbs higher in the caste ranking. Do you see? People don't think they're oppressed here. They think they're always one opportunity away from success, or at least one opportunity away from surpassing their neighbors even if that means they'll still be at the second-to-bottom rung of the ladder. They think the system is designed to help them climb, not to keep them down."

"That's ridiculous. They can't be satisfied with that."

"Oh? Then when you sweep away this system and kill every mage who defies you, who'll be there to tend the gardens and kill the storms? Who'll be there to heal their sick? Do you think the mages will do that for free out of the goodness of their hearts? They do this because they enjoy privilege and are exchanging these small sacrifices in order to hold onto power. With nothing to gain, they won't help you. Not a chance."

Vica bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep from shouting at him. He was insane. She didn't care what his explanations and excuses were; people didn't willingly sell themselves out that way. He could try to convince her otherwise, but he had always lived in power. That was why he so willfully misunderstood.

"It's true."

What? She whirled around in her seat, making it creak with the sudden shift in her weight. "Bren?"

It was him. The half-elf shuffled in, wearing a new dark-blue robe that trailed along the floor. It was too long for him, but she supposed he had had to change into anything other than his worn out clothes from their journey. He still looked tired, though. Hadn't he been sleeping?

"You should go rest some more," she urged, but he glided over the wooden floor until he was standing directly beside her. He then reached for the first book in the pile to thumb through it for a few seconds before placing it down on the table and moving to the next book.

"These would be good to skim," he said quietly. "The Capital will not fall in a day, there are many who would rather fight for a system they think they can at least survive under, rather than risk even greater indignities and suffering under a new one that they do not know. You are a stranger. You are a mystery. It would be good to earn the trust of the people you want to save first - but this is the only world they know, so you will have to do it by those same rules."

She groaned and slammed her elbow down on the table so that she could prop her head up in her hand. "This is ridiculous," she grumbled. "Why not just teach me how to use my magic better? What are they going to do if I walk up to them and challenge them to a duel to the death, or something -"

"Besides the fact that I'm not quite sure you're ready to kill en masse yet" - Bren paused to chuckle - "don't think that they'll play fair. They still outnumber you thousands to one, and forgive me my skepticism, you have a long way to go before you can risk such a thing. Training and leashing your power will take time, Vica. Meanwhile, why not learn how to navigate the Capital and its people better so that you can put it to good use when the time comes."

Gods. She could see Felix smiling at them both from the corner of her eye, and she wanted nothing more than to stand up and walk away. But if Bren who was staunchly on her side was also recommending the same thing, she had no choice but to believe that perhaps this was in her best interests after all.

With a frustrated, exasperated scoff, she snatched one of the books and slapped it down to a random page.

"Where do I start," she grumbled.