Chasing Him: A Small Town, Single Dad/Nanny Romance (Bishop Brothers Book 3)

Chapter 2

Chapter Two

JOHN

Jackson needs a boot in his a*s. It’s the only thought that fills my head when I saw the horses out of their stables and scattered all around the front pasture of the B&B.

He must’ve left the gate open again, which infuriates me, especially since I haven’t even had my morning coffee first. Fog lines the ground, and my surroundings are coated in an orange hue due to a sliver of sun peeking over the horizon. Letting out a sigh, I walk to the barn, tuck some feed in my jacket pocket, and grab a few lead ropes. It’s cold, considering it’s January, and this is the last thing I want to be doing right now. Actually, the more I ponder on it, Jackson needs two boots in his a*s. Just thinking about rounding these horses up alone as he sleeps infuriates me. f**k this!

I storm back toward the house where he’s happily sleeping. Walking in, the door slamming behind me, I go straight to the kitchen to fill a pitcher to the top with cold water. I even put a few ice cubes in it for good measure. Without wasting any more time, I open Jackson’s door, see him hanging halfway off his bed in his boxers and throw the water on him.

“What the mother f**k!” he yells, rolling out of his bed and hitting the floor with a loud thud. I hold back a laugh as he stands with water dripping from his body, looking as pissed as ever. He looks down at his wet boxers, then at me, and charges for me. I shake my head, move my body out of the way and watch as he slams into the wall behind me.

“Now, you and I both know you shouldn’t get yourself all worked up before coffee,” I taunt him. His chest rises and falls with anger. “So before you start throwing a little d**k fit, you should know that all the horses are out roaming around the B&B,” I explain, walking back to the kitchen and grabbing the lead ropes I left hanging on the back of a barstool. I don’t even wait for him before I step outside to round up the horses. Moments later, I hear the door slam behind me.

“You’re an asshole for waking me up that way,” Jackson yells. I shake my head and keep walking. I pass the steps of the porch of the B&B and see all the plants that once lined the bed have been eaten to nothing. Mama’s gonna be pissed, but I’ll let Jackson answer for his mistakes.

A white mare is chewing grass, and I tuck my hand in my pocket, pull out some feed, and walk up to her. At first, she’s hesitant but then comes to me, taking the bait. I click the lead rope to the metal ring on her halter and lead her back to the barn. I pass Jackson and roll my eyes at him, scoffing. He doesn’t say a word because he knows I have a right to be pissed at him. My guess is he was out trying to impress a girl and forgot to lock the gate because that seems to be the reason more times than not.

After I walk two more horses back to the stables, I let Jackson handle the rest. I’m done. He made this mess, and it’s time for him to clean it up alone. Considering most of the horses were out wandering around, I’m not surprised when I see my brother Alex and Dylan drive up. They both get out of the truck and help. I mutter a few curse words under my breath when a guest stops me.

“’Scuse me,” the woman says, her hair wrapped tightly in curlers. She’s wearing a furry housecoat with matching slippers, both bright yellow. “You gonna brew some coffee?”

I smile at her before walking over to the coffeepot. “You like it strong?”

She pretends to fluff her hair and looks me up and down before throwing a wink my way. “The same way I like my men.”

Chuckling, I shake my head and start the coffee. The woman is about the same age as Mama, but it doesn’t surprise me. I’ve been running the bed and breakfast for years, and I’ve learned that many people go on vacation for a quick hookup. Although Miss Daisy is definitely reaching out of her league.

I give her a smile, hand her a coffee cup, and walk away. Getting the hell out of awkward situations seems to be my specialty.

I open the curtains in the common room so when the sun rises, it’ll peek through the windows and cast a warm glow throughout. Old lady McFlirty asks if I can light the fireplace for her, and I do. I bend over to stack freshly chopped wood inside the hearth. Instantly, the fire starts crackling, and when I turn around, she’s staring at my a*s. I hold back an eye roll and force a smile as she settles on the couch with her coffee.

As I’m walking toward the phone, Jackson comes barreling in. He looks at the older woman sitting on the couch and tilts his hat at her. “Howdy, Ma’am.”

“Oh, so there’s two of you?” Her voice rises in excitement, and I groan. She continues mumbling something about her fantasies, and I’m happy Jackson keeps walking. Getting him riled up is the last thing I want to deal with today. It’s already been a clusterfuck.

“We’re still missing three horses,” he tells me, leaning against the counter. “Alex and Dylan are searching, but I don’t know where they could’ve gone.”

I glare at him. “Well, considering they’ve probably had all night to wander around, there’s no telling where the hell they are.”

“I’m sorry! Okay? I was showing Amanda around the stables last night, and one thing led to another, and I must’ve forgotten to lock the main gate. Throw a dog a bone every once in a while.”

A dog is right.

Shaking my head, I flip through my to-do list for the day. “You’re tellin’ Dad.”

“Can’t we just keep it to ourselves this time?”

I look up at him, brows raised. “You really believe Dad doesn’t already know? The last time, Old Betsy was over at the Lakefields’ property eatin’ Mrs. Lakefield’s flower garden. Thank God they were equestrian safe, or that would’ve been your a*s. All I’m saying is the longer they’re out, the more trouble you’re gonna be in.”

Jackson rolls his eyes. “You need to get laid.”

The older woman chuckles but doesn’t look over at us or—thankfully—volunteer herself.

“And you need to quit being an irresponsible horndog,” I retort.

“No can do, bro. Living my best life, which you’d know something about if you actually had one.” Jackson laughs, gives me a sarcastic smile, then walks out the back door. I hear him going on about something and look through the window where the other three horses are grazing in the distance. Of course. Makes me wonder when his luck is going to finally run out.

For most of the morning, I spend my time making sure the house is warm enough for everyone. Considering it’s mid-January, and most of our guests like to spend their time inside by the fire, I find myself chopping more wood than usual, and before lunch, my arms and legs are sore from carrying loads into the B&B. Just as I’m taking a break to catch my breath, I see my brothers Alex and Evan bustling through the side door. Evan’s girlfriend, Emily, is following behind them.

“What the hell is this?” I ask as soon as they’re within earshot. “This can’t be good.” I cross my arms over my chest. Emily is smiling so big that it’s hard not to smile with her.

“It’s not bad news,” she finally says, holding out her hand to show me the rock on her hand.

“Well, damn!” I relax and smile. I figured Evan would be popping the question any day now, considering they’re expecting their first baby soon and have just finished building their dream house on the ranch. “Looks like we have another weddin’ to plan soon. Congrats, you two!” I pat Evan on the shoulder and nod. He deserves every bit of happiness coming his way. They both do.

“Baby first, then wedding,” Emily confirms. “I’m not walking down the aisle ten months pregnant.”

Jackson snorts. “Another party! Yeehaw!” He hip thrusts the air, and Evan punches him in the shoulder.

“I’m shooting you with a tranquilizer,” Evan deadpans.

“I’ll help you,” Alex adds.

“Can’t stop, won’t stop,” Jackson taunts, spinning around and shaking his butt. He looks over his shoulder, then slaps his a*s just to get a rise out of us.

“Oh my God.” I groan. “Stop it. You’re giving my face a bad name.”

“I’m the only reason you’re getting laid, and you know it,” Jackson retorts, and it takes all my willpower to keep from smacking the s**t out of him.

“Speaking of laid, Emily and I have plans that don’t include any of you.” Evan drags Emily by the hand toward the front door.

“Don’t be rude.” Emily smacks his shoulder.

“Trust me, John wants us out as much as we do.” Evan jerks his head toward me, and I confirm with a nod. I have to get back to work.

“Yes, and take the evil twin with you,” I reply, glaring at Jackson who then wraps his arms around my shoulder and makes a big show out of kissing me on the cheek.

Alex shakes his head, grabbing Jackson by the arm and thankfully pulling him away. “C’mon. The horses won’t feed themselves.”

Everyone’s in good spirits as I follow them toward the front door. I love seeing Evan so happy after everything he’s been through and the sacrifices he’s made to do what he loves, which has always been helping others.

“Congrats again. I’m so happy for you guys,” I tell them one last time before remembering it’s also Emily’s birthday, so I wish her a happy birthday too. I try to give her a hug, but she’s so pregnant that it’s almost impossible. She lets out a groan, and I remind her that my niece will be here soon enough. I love being an uncle and spoiling all my nieces and nephews.

Evan opens the door, but all three of them come to a stop, and I hear commotion in front of me about a baby.

“Is that a baby?” Jackson asks.

“A what?” Gasping, I step between them and see a sleeping infant in a car seat on the porch. It’s the middle of January, so it’s chilly—even for Texas—and I look at everyone else and then the baby again; we’re all confused as hell.

“A baby,” Emily confirms, her mouth slightly open in shock.

“Whose baby?” Evan asks what we’re all wondering.

We all turn and look at Jackson.

“You think this is my baby?” He sounds offended, which is comical. “I double wrap my s**t, thank you very much.”

Emily snorts, knowing very well that Jackson has a reputation. “There’s a note!” she says before reaching down and grabbing it. Her expression drops. “Oh, no.” Evan leans over and reads the name written on the front, his brows raised in shock.

“It’s for you.” Emily hands me the envelope, and all the blood drains from my face when I realize what she just said. My heart is racing so hard in my chest, that it almost hurts.

“s**t, I didn’t see that coming!” Jackson howls, and I’m tempted to throat punch him, so he learns to shut up.

I take it from her hand, and though I’m surrounded by my brothers, I feel as if I’m standing alone, the cold air brushing over me, as I open the envelope and pull out the letter.

John,

If you’re reading this, then my lawyer has been informed of my death and brought you our daughter. First, I want to tell you how sorry I am. I’m sorry this is how you’re finding out about her. It pains me to write this letter to you, and I wish I didn’t have to. I find myself wishing for a lot of things these days. I wish for more time to be a mother to our daughter and time to watch her grow up and all the milestones I’ll miss. After our time together, I knew you were someone special, but I wasn’t in a place in my life to have a relationship, and I didn’t think you were either. I did often wonder if what we shared was real or if we’d ever cross paths again. When I found out I was pregnant, then I knew it had to be real. She’s a miracle, John. A true miracle. When I was twenty-two, I was diagnosed with PCOS and was told my chances of having a baby were less than ten percent, yet here she is. Completely perfect in every way.

I was weary through my first trimester, always expecting to miscarry. Then I made it through my second and finally my third. I knew I was lucky and even more grateful to even be experiencing the feeling of her kicking inside me. Once the shock wore off, I knew I needed to tell you, but I was scared. It crippled me, and every day, I told myself that was the day I’d call you. The guilt of not telling you nearly destroyed me, and the longer I waited, the harder it became. I should’ve tried harder to tell you, but knowing you moved on, I couldn’t bear your rejection of a baby I was so thankful for.

So this brings me to now. As I’m writing this, I’m weaker than I’ve ever been and can’t stop crying that my time with our baby is ending. I’d been having some health problems and blamed the symptoms on the pregnancy, but when I blacked out at work, I was taken to the ER where they found I had a brain tumor. I even saw a neurologist, hoping the diagnosis was wrong or not as bad as originally thought. I was told it was too advanced, and that surgery could be an option, but it wasn’t a guarantee. The risks were high. I could die on the table, or they could get inside and realize the tumor was too invasive to remove. My other option was to do chemo to shrink it and give myself more time, but it would’ve aborted the baby. My last option was not to have the surgery or chemo and give our sweet child a chance at life. By the time she was born, those options were completely out. But I wanted to meet her, hold her, kiss her sweet face. I knew I’d never get to do that if I picked the first two options, and I wasn’t about to put my life above hers, not when she had already proven to be such a miracle. The cancer had already spread so quickly, and the chances of survival were slim to none. Now, I have no chance at all.

But I don’t regret it. Getting to spend these last nine weeks with her has been a blessing and the best weeks of my life. I chose our baby, John. Please take care of her. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I know you’ll fall in love with her too. She looks a lot like you actually, which makes me happy. My time to go is almost here. My body is shutting down, and no amount of treatment can help me now. Knowing I was leaving her behind has made me an emotional wreck, but I couldn’t stand the thought of our precious girl being sent to foster care or worse—being raised by my parents. As far as I know, they don’t know about her, and I’d like to keep it that way.

Her name is Maize Grace Kensington-Bishop. I listed you as her father on the birth certificate, so you have full guardianship rights.

She needs you now more than ever. I can’t give her the life I wanted, but you can. When she’s older, please tell her I loved her more than anything—more than my own life—more than words can describe. Tell her I’ll see her again someday and will always be watching over her.

Tell her stories of how we met and us horseback riding together. Those nights we spent together were the most magical nights of my life, and I hope you can forgive me for not telling you sooner, but I tried. It was selfish of me, but after she was born, I wanted to spend what little time I had left with her and soak up every minute. I love you for making me a mom, John Bishop. She’s special in so many ways, and I hope you can understand why I had to do this.

Love,

Bailey Kensington

P.S. All her paperwork is tucked into the side of her car seat. I’m so sorry.

The word daughter repeats in my mind as I blink and see everyone staring at me with anticipation. I become a tight ball of emotions as I hold the letter tight, but my arms fall lifelessly to my side.

“She’s mine,” I say barely over a whisper, glancing down at the baby girl with a pink blanket wrapped tightly around her, sleeping so peacefully. There’s a pink bow in her dark hair. Swallowing, I continue. “Her name is Maize.”

Jackson’s mouth falls open, and even I don’t know what else to say. I’m just as blindsided about this as they are. On cue, Maize opens her eyes, takes one look at all of us hovering over her, and releases a scream from her lungs. I look around, not really sure what to do. Emily kneels, picks her up, and then holds her gently against her chest. Standing up, she rocks her body back and forth to soothe her.

“Shh, it’s going to be alright, little Maize. We’re all going to take good care of you,” Emily whispers, calming her and me at the same time.

“What did the letter say exactly? Who’s the mother?” Evan asks, watching Emily calm the baby. She’s already a natural, which doesn’t surprise me.

“Do you remember Alex’s bridal consultant who we met during our tux fittings?”

“The one you stole from me?” Jackson taunts.

I roll my eyes and ignore him. “Her name was Bailey, and she came for horseback riding lessons, and well, we hooked up.” I lower my eyes, trying to really grasp the fact that she’s gone. Honestly, I don’t think this will ever sink in, or maybe I’m just in a state of permanent shock.

“You hooked up with my wife’s bridal consultant?” Alex shifts on his feet and folds his arms.

“Yeah, why? Was she off-limits or something?” I scoff.

“Wait…” Evan interrupts. “Her name was Bailey?” he asks as if he’s trying to remember that day.

“Yeah, apparently she was diagnosed with a brain tumor and—”

Evan and Emily look at each other, and an uneasy feeling surrounds me.

“What?” I ask.

“Do you think…could it be?” Emily asks Evan, and he gives her a look.

“What’s going on?” I wave my hand between their faces.

“Can I read the letter?” Evan asks me sincerely, and I reluctantly hand it over to him. I trust him.

I wait impatiently as Evan and Emily read over the letter, trying to hold back their emotions. Staring at Maize sleeping peacefully in Emily’s arms, I still can’t believe she’s really mine. She definitely looks like a Bishop with the trademark nose and pouty lips.

“I can’t believe this,” Emily finally says.

“What?” Alex and Jackson ask at the same time.

“We had a patient come into the ER about four months ago who was in her third trimester and diagnosed her with a brain tumor just like this,” Emily explains, the blood draining from her face. “Her name was Bailey, and she had chosen not to be treated.”

“That must’ve been her,” I mutter, my eyes glossing over as I think about Bailey going through that alone. If she’s not close with her parents, I can only imagine how scared she was to make such a life-changing decision.

“It was her,” Evan confirms. “Same last name and everything.”

I release a deep breath, stunned by this realization. “You told her not to take the treatment?”

“No!” Emily quickly responds. “Our jobs are to explain all the options with risks and possible outcomes. She could’ve waited to get the treatment until after the baby was born, but even then, surgery was risky. She wanted to spend as much time with the baby as she could, and doing chemo could’ve prolonged her life, but she would’ve been sick for months. We told her everything and encouraged her to do what she felt was right.” Emily’s words should comfort me, but I feel nothing. Numb.

I can’t believe this. How am I going to raise a baby on my own?

“So wait…what happened to her?” Alex interrupts.

“She only had a few months to live,” Emily explains.

“Which is why she had the baby sent here,” I continue, my vision going fuzzy.

Evan places his strong hand on my shoulder. “We’re going to help you. We won’t let you do this alone,” he reassures me. Jackson, with zero jokes and all seriousness, tells me he’ll help however he can. Alex pipes in too, telling me how great of a dad I’m going to be, and that he and River will do anything they can to pitch in, too. At this moment, I’m so proud to have these men as my brothers.

“I’m going to need all the help I can get.” I brush a hand through my hair, not knowing where to even begin. Sure, I’ve helped with Riley, but this is different. This baby girl will depend on me for everything, and the weight of that is almost too much to comprehend. I almost feel as if I’m in a dream state, but there’s no chance of me waking up. This is now my reality.

Emily looks over at me with a smile. “You should hold her,” she says softly.

I take Maize and hold her gently in my arms. My body tenses at first, but then she opens her eyes and looks up at me, and I relax.

“I promise to give you the best life I can,” I tell her. All eyes are on me, but there’s no judgment. Instead, the bunch of them are smiling at me. It takes everything I have not to break down as the realization sets in that this is really happening.

Holy s**t!

I’m a dad.