Chapter 1-2
2541 Words
I let out a laugh. “You don’t have to pay me. What time?”
“Eightish? Um, maybe make it seven?” Her voice fluctuates as if she’s not entirely sure.
“I’ll be there, but I’m feeding him chocolate milk all day, so he’ll be good and wired when you get back,” I tease.
“Bad idea considering he’s lactose intolerant. The joke would be on you, literally,” she retorts.
I chuckle, and a big yawn escapes me, causing her to do the same. I didn’t realize how tired I actually was until now. “Yeah, never mind on that one. Anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early.”
“Thank you. I love you!”
“Uh-huh, love you too.”
I end the call and set my alarm. I’m feeling restless, so I turn on the TV. Too many thoughts swarm through my head, and they keep going back to Cade and Kristi. Jealousy rears its ugly head again, and I hate that I feel this way. I should be happy for him, yet I replay every stolen glance, every smile—all of the little moments we’ve shared—and the thought of them together almost hurts.
I close my eyes, listening to the soft sounds of the television, not caring what channel it’s on. I don’t watch it but allow the sounds and flashing lights of it to distract me. Though my eyes are closed, and my body’s relaxed, I can’t fall asleep, which frustrates the hell out of me. I need as much rest as I can get because Graham is a handful—especially now that he can walk. Giving up, I sit up in bed, remembering I was supposed to let Cade know when I made it home. Grabbing my phone, I send him a text.
Mila: I made it home.
Mila: We should probably talk later.
I don’t know what made me send that last message, but there’s just too much weighing on me. Sometimes when a person’s in a weird place, it’s better to talk it out, and he’s my best friend, so I should be able to do that, right? After I think about it, I immediately feel stupid and wish I could delete the message, but it’s too late.
Cade: Yeah. I need to chat with you about some things too.
My heart races as heat rushes to my face.
Mila: Perfect. Tomorrow then?
Cade: It’s a date.
What the hell does that mean…a date? I’m overanalyzing everything. I lock my phone and eventually fall asleep, though I toss and turn all night, my mind wandering.
My body is awake before my alarm, and I’m exhausted. I slip on some clothes and make my way downstairs. As soon as my foot hits the top step, I can smell the coffee brewing in the kitchen and hear the soft mumbles of my parents chatting in the kitchen. That’s one thing I’ll miss about moving out—my parents. Though a pain in my a*s at times when it comes to being nosy in my personal life, I love them so much. Once I come into view, Mom and Dad both turn and stare at me like they’ve seen a ghost. The twins are arguing about something as they eat cereal at the table. Becca comes from downstairs with earbuds in, humming to her music and ignoring everyone as she pops some bread in the toaster. Mom is digging in the fridge for the twins’ lunches, and Dad is searching for something in the cupboards. Since Becca can drive, Mom has one less errand in the morning before work because Becca takes the twins to school. The chaos doesn’t even faze me anymore. This is a typical morning at the Carmichael house.
“What are you doing up so early?” Dad looks down at his watch then back at me. He knows I usually roll out of bed a few hours after the kids leave for school now that I don’t have my student teaching or classes to worry about.
“I told Sarah I’d watch Graham today.” I stumble to the coffeepot, pull a to-go mug from the cupboard, and fill it to the brim.
“You’re so nice. I’m sure she appreciates it.” I look over my shoulder and see Mom smiling.
“Yeah, yeah.” I laugh, blowing on my coffee after adding some creamer. I give them both hugs before I leave and tell my sisters bye.
The morning coolness hits my skin, and I wish I could sit in front of the fireplace all day and watch ESPN. However, considering my sister doesn’t really have anyone else she can depend on, other than family, I don’t want to leave her hanging. Her divorce was a messy one, and now that she has full custody of Graham, I try to help her as much as I can.
I drive a few blocks down the road and park at her house. As soon as I get out of the car, she’s meeting me at the door with Graham in her hands.
“He’s in a special mood this morning,” she warns as he leans his head against her shoulder, looking as cute as ever.
“Hey, Graham Cracker. Wanna see your favorite aunt?” I sweet-talk him, holding out my arms, and he instantly reaches for me. Mom always says I have a magic touch when it comes to kids, and I should open a daycare instead of teaching first graders. Since I’ve grown up helping my parents with my younger siblings and spent several summers watching newborns at the church nursery, I’d almost agree with her. Babies love me, and I love them, and one day, I want to have at least four of my own. Growing up in a household with six siblings shaped the person I am today, and I’ve always dreamed of having a big family once I marry and move out. I smile at the thought when Graham tugs at my hair talking in gibberish.
“Okay, well I’ll see you in a few hours.” I smile at Sarah. She gives Graham a big kiss on his chubby little cheek and tells me thank you several times before I shoo her away. As soon as I try to set Graham down, he screams at the top of his lungs, and I fully understand what Sarah was referring to.
“Graham the Man,” I tease. “No screaming like that or Aunt Mila isn’t going to play with you,” I warn him, and he looks at me with a death glare and returns his head to my shoulder.
“No!” he tells me, and I know exactly where he got his little attitude from—Sarah.
Once he’s done clinging to me, Graham and I play on the floor with his trucks, Legos, and dinosaurs. He shows me every truck and lines them up. I watch in amazement at how big and smart he’s getting. My heart tugs knowing his father is missing out on experiencing this, but I know it’s his choice not to be involved anymore. It also tugs for Sarah’s sake. She didn’t choose to get pregnant and be a single mom all on her own. Her happily ever after bubble was popped, and now I feel sad that she’s without companionship.
After a couple of hours of playing, I turn on the TV and sit on the couch holding Graham because I know he needs his late-morning nap. We both end up dozing off to the background noise of the TV.
When I wake up, my arm is numb, and a toddler is talking in my face about his toys again, and I let out a small laugh. That hour nap has him so wired; it’s as if Sarah gave him sugar before she left. He scoots himself off the couch and begins picking up dinosaurs and special delivers them all to me. The couch is stacked high. I wish I had half the energy he has before ten o’clock in the morning.
Our day continues forward with snack time, more playing, reading a few books, and just before I’m preparing lunch, Sarah comes home. She’s smiling and hands me a brown bag with what I assume is a bottle of wine.
“You might need it more than I do,” I tell her with a laugh, looking back at Graham.
“It’s your favorite, a gift from me.” She gives me a hug and thanks me for everything. I finish making Graham’s lunch, and just as I set his plate in front of him, he dives in and starts stuffing his face. “Slow down, buddy,” I tell him when the spaghetti sauce starts to cover his face and hands.
“Someone’s in a better mood.” She looks at him, then back at me. “Thank you again.”
Just as I’m about to tell her to stop thanking me, my phone buzzes and interrupts my thoughts. I pull it from my pocket and see it’s a text from Cade asking when I can meet up today and have our talk. My heart flutters, and Sarah looks at me with her brows raised.
“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel? Get it over with?” she asks. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
I give her a disapproving look. “It could ruin our friendship since I’m ninety-nine percent sure he doesn’t feel the same. Also, we both know neither of us are pros when it comes to relationships.” Considering most of mine have ended with one-sided feelings or in heartbreak, that statement couldn’t be truer.
“So there’s a chance?” she quips, giving me a sad smile. “You’re right, though.” She scrunches her nose. “But to be fair, Tim was a dick.”
“Not arguing there.” I shrug before hugging her and saying goodbye.
I agree to meet him at a sandwich shop across town, and I replay everything I want to say in my head. Should I say something about how I’ve always felt or push those feelings back? How will it affect our friendship if I do and he’s already falling for Kristi? I go over different options and scenarios in my mind and decide that I’m going to let him tell me his news first. Maybe he’ll tell me how he feels, and then it won’t be so awkward.
Ha! A girl can dream.
After parking, I walk inside and find him sitting at a booth by the windows that overlook the streets. It looks like a typical winter day, colorless, but I love living here. We order our food, and while we wait, I study him. He’s biting his lower lip, which makes me even more nervous.
“So,” he starts.
“Yeah?” I lift my eyebrows and take a drink of water, my mouth feeling dry.
“Well last night…” He pauses, causing my palms to sweat. I sit silent and wait. Seconds pass, but it feels like hours.
“Cade. Just spit it out,” I encourage.
“Yeah okay. Last night, Kristi told me she’s pregnant. And the baby’s mine.”
Holy s**t! I hadn’t expected that at all. I swallow hard, making sure not to let my emotions show. My heart races and everything spins. There are too many questions that I want to ask, but instead, I choke them back and smile. “Wow. Really?”
He nods with a small grin. “Yeah, we’ve been seeing each other off and on the past few months,” he explains, and I feel slightly betrayed at the fact I didn’t know he was seeing someone. I tell him almost everything, and I thought he did the same, but I guess not.
“I see.” I glance over, grateful our food is being delivered. I thank our waiter before giving Cade all my attention. “So how do you feel about it?”
“I was shocked, and I think it’s still sinking in, but I think I’m going to ask her to marry me. It’s the right thing to do, and I really do like her a lot. I told my mother this morning, and she freaked out.”
I search his face, wishing I could read his mind. “Do you love her?”
“I think I could,” he admits. “I hadn’t planned on settling down so soon, but she’s carrying my child now, and I think I need to give it a chance for the baby’s sake, ya know?”
“You’re a good guy, Cade.” I slide my hand on top of his. “Go with your gut instincts because they’ll never let you down,” I tell him with a sincere smile though it pains me to know this is going to change everything between us.
He nods, his gaze following to where our hands are. “Thanks, Mila. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Slowly, he’s breaking down, the stress of him becoming a dad and possibly a husband is written on his face. As I glance up at him, I almost don’t recognize my best friend or the man I’ve had a crush on for the past few years. But if there’s one thing that’s certain, Cade is a genuine and sweet soul, so this Kristi girl better realize what she has.
We finish eating, and sadness washes over me as he talks about his new future, and I know there’s not going to be much room for me in it anymore. This isn’t exactly the life he planned for himself, but I know he’s too much of a gentleman to do anything other than what he believes is right. I’ll support his decision, whatever it is, because that’s what friends do.
After lunch, Cade walks me to my car and pulls me into a big hug. We stand there for a while, his scent overpowering my senses. He’s always smelled good, and his cologne easily became my favorite the first time he wore it. When I push away, I see the worry in his eye.
“Wait, weren’t you going to tell me something?” he asks.
“Oh, right.” I think of something quickly. “Just that I’m going to visit my grandma in Texas for a month, so I won’t be around to watch old football reels with you on Thursdays for a little while.” I wink, fidgeting with my shirt and hoping he can’t see right through my lies.
He takes in a deep breath. “I guess that’s okay. You have my permission,” he jokes.
I grin.
“Thank you, Mila.” His expression turns serious, and I’m worried about all the pressure he’s going to be putting on himself now.
I laugh, unlocking my car. “For what?”
“For being a good friend. You’re the only person in the world I trust, and I can breathe a little easier knowing I have your support.”
“You’re welcome.” I smile, though it’s forced. I love that he trusts me so much, but it makes me wonder why he kept Kristi a secret until yesterday, and if she hadn’t told him this news, would he have ever told me? “And you’ll always have my support no matter what,” I remind him before climbing into my car.
I wave as I drive away, and he walks to his car in higher spirits than before. I feel just like the rookie player who never gets to be a starter, watching everyone’s life progress forward as I sit on the sidelines. I drive home in a daze, replaying everything that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours. As I pull into the driveway and look up at the gray sky that perfectly describes my mood, my phone rings, and I see it’s my grandma. A smile fills my face, and I happily answer the call because the new plan is to leave as soon as I can.
- Writer
