The Safety's Sideline Obsession

Clingy

Caylee

“Violet will love that. We’ll grab it as soon as they open. How about breakfast since we had to leave so early?” Mama asks me as we stare at the small little porcelain music box. Violet collects them. Sean always jokes that their apartment could run a symphony if she wound them all up at once. He loves it though. She could take up every surface with them and he would barely complain.

“Sounds good to me. You know I can always eat.” I loop my arm in hers and we walk toward the coffee shop. My phone goes off again and I look down at my smartwatch. Joey again. “Have fun shopping babycakes.”

I shake my head smiling a little. He’s texted me two other times to tell me good morning.

“Yes, you five are your father made over especially the way you eat.” We order and sit in the corner. It’s mostly deserted today.

“Ready to go back to school?” She asks as we wait for our food.

I shrug. “Yes and no. I like being home.”

“I know. You got some of my genes. And I like you being home too.” She watches me closely though.

“Mama can I ask you something?” I fiddle with my napkin.

“Anything always.”

“How did you know you were in love with Dad?” She’s a little surprised at the question.

"How or when?"

"Both actually."

“Your daddy knew he loved me first. He told me about six weeks after we started dating. I wasn’t ready yet though I was crazy about him. He knew that too and told me not to say anything I didn't fully mean.” She smiles at the memory. “You remember how Ryan tried to kidnap me twice?”

I nod. Those stories had been hard to listen to. Knowing your mom had been the object of some psycho lunatic's obsession and that he’d almost gotten her twice had been a shock for all of us. And I do mean ALL. Every kid in our parent’s family and friend list got the chapter and verse for that to warn us.

“The first time was at the Harrisville football stadium. The guys all found me. Ryan had me and he told them we were leaving. As he was pulling me away, I looked at your dad and I felt so sad that I might not see him again. That Ryan would either take me or kill me. It physically hurt my heart to think about never getting to talk to him again or spend time with him. But at the same time, I was terrified Ryan would hurt him and that would have been worse was my feeling. So I was willing to go with him if it kept your father safe. That was when I knew. He was everything. They say sometimes it takes losing something to figure out how important it is. And I would have figured it out even if that didn’t happen. But it did and when I woke up that was the first thing I thought of. That I loved him and needed to tell him.”

She smiles wryly. “I had to convince him first that Ryan coming after me wasn’t his fault. He thought trading lab partners and sticking me with Ryan caused him to obsess over me. You know your dad, he’s always willing to take the blame to save us any pain. And that made me love him even more, the fact that he was always ready to walk through fire for me. I wish he would have let me help him deal with things sometimes more but that’s his way.”

I chuckle a little. “That’s totally Dad.”

She takes my hand. “Did something happen with Joey?” I meet her concerned eyes.

“Not really. It’s just….You know he told me after only three months that he was in love with me and I wasn’t in the same boat. He slips up and says it occasionally but I can’t say it back. And part of me wonders if I’m just scared to.” I’ve always told my mom everything. She listens and never judges.

“Possibly. Or maybe you aren’t ready to. If it feels like a chore to say that, then you aren’t. And you may never be. He might not be your cup of tea Caylee. Is he pressuring you?”

I shake my head. “No he says it and looks sad or he almost says it and stops himself. I don’t know, just wondering if I’ve set myself up for some huge expectation of being in love watching you and Dad and then I can’t recognize it because I’ve built it into something unrealistic.”

“I was wrong, definitely your father’s child mostly. The writer with the big worries and thoughts. Listen to me Caylee. There are so many different kinds of being in love. And you’ve seen quite a few of them in our families. What matters most is how that person makes you feel. Only eclipsed slightly by how they treat you. Love shouldn’t hurt unless you lose it. The one universal piece should be they want you to be happy no matter what that means. They would be willing to let you go if it would be the best option for you.”

I nod and take a deep breath. "Caylee you might be overthinking it too. We've always told you guys to be sure of your feelings before you make any big decisions in a relationship. Sit back and relax a bit. It's not like you've agreed to marry him or there's a deadline. Enjoy your time with him and you'll figure it out."

"Thanks Mama." I think about last night. "Do you think Liam will find someone or is he too much like Dad?"

She smiles, her eyes gleaming. "No Liam is nothing like Dad. He's taken several girls out and can talk to them just fine. He's.....waiting for the right moment I think." I stare at her and she simply looks innocent. What does she know? They say your mother knows so much more than you think she does.

"Does he have someone he's interested in?" She purses her lips together.

"No one he's mentioned."

"But someone he hasn't mentioned....come on Mama. You can't keep secrets from me!"

She laughs now. "I assure you I can. Maybe if you start paying a little more attention, it wouldn't be a secret. Might learn more than one..."

“There you two are!” Violet says loudly as she walks our way. Aunt Delaney follows right behind her as I jump up to embrace my friend.

They decide to go order something and join us. “I’ll run and get that music box. Be right back ok?” Mom whispers as she moves out of the booth.

Violet is telling me all about her and Sean’s trip to the beach a few weeks ago. Our food arrives and Mom slips back into the booth. Once we’re done, we start wandering around the shops. I needed some things for my apartment like new sheets and a few new clothes. We are talking about lunch while I look through some books on a little outdoor cart when I see Violet stand up and wave. “Hey Noah!” I immediately turn and find myself staring at him. He looks right at me, before he waves and says “Hey ladies.” He has a bag in his hand but he walks right over and immediately hugs my mom. He always does that with a big smile. “Hey!” I’ve never known exactly why he has such a close relationship with my parents. I know Mama and Uncle Colby were like brother and sister once they met.

He glances up catching my eye and I wave. “Hey Noah.” I say quietly glad he can’t hear my heart pounding. I’ll always have that reaction to him I think. Part of it is nerves that he might suspect I had a crush on him when we were teenagers. I can’t imagine how awkward that conversation would be.

“Caylee.” He turns “Hey Vi, Aunt Delaney.”

“Want to join us for lunch?” Mom asks him. He glances vaguely in my direction before shaking his head. “Can’t Aunt Sof. I’ve got to go home and finish packing. Had to come and pick up new shoes for practice though. Only place that carries them is here you know.”

She nods knowingly. “Yes, you boys and your monstrous feet. Alright, tell your parents we’ll see them tomorrow.”

He starts toward his bike and I subtly watch him put his helmet on. Several girls are on the other side ogling him. He ignores them all but I catch them openly staring. As he rides away, my watch vibrates and I look down to see Joey’s message. “Hey did you forget all about your hot boyfriend who misses you? Not a single text today…..”

Violet is standing right next to me. “Joey misses you huh?”

I catch the slight edge to her tone. She likes Joey just fine but says he texts too much. Some days I agree…..

“Yeah we haven’t seen each other in about four weeks so he’s a little clingy.”

I text him back. “Of course not, just busy. Call you when I get home.”

“As long as you haven’t found some other guy to spend the day with.”

I glance up at the motorcycle leaving the parking lot. “Nope.” I add a little smiling emoji.

“Sorry I know I’m probably bugging the s**t out of you but it’s been a month since I’ve seen you. I just miss you.”

“I know. I miss you too.” I add the winking emoji with hearts.

Violet watches me typing. "Sean said he was busy with baseball training and meet and greets this summer."

I nod. "His coach feels he needs more exposure before the draft. He's a good player but this year there are soooo many who are amazing. He's hoping to give himself an advantage if he can." As I finish saying that he texts me again asking what he should have for lunch. I ignore him because Violet will give me crap about it.

She leans in talking lowly while our moms look over some pillows. "Have you thought more about what you'll do if he gets drafted far away?"

"No I haven't. Cross that bridge when we get there." My stomach plummets as I ponder that for a second. I'll miss him if he has to move so far away. Maybe my feelings run deeper than I thought. To change the subject and get rid of that sadness, I throw out. "I can't believe you and my brothers are all gone this year."

She gives me a quick side hug. "I know. I thought about taking another year of classes to stay with you but I think Sean would have revolted."

I laugh hard picturing his face as she told him that. "Yeah he would have serious Violet withdrawals."

She tilts her head watching me. "At least you have Noah there still. I'm sure he'll be checking in on you."

"Umm no I'm sure he won't. He's got better things to do than check up on his best friends's little sister." I quickly pull a throw blanket off the shelf and examine its texture.

"You know what, you're probably right. I'm sure he's going to be busy with his senior year. Getting ready to get drafted and move away himself." My head pops up sharply as she says that. I hadn't even thought about Noah moving far away.

Before I can respond, my watch vibrates again and I look down reading it. Violet sighs "What does he want now? To know what he should watch on tv or what he should eat off his lunch plate first?" She smiles softening the insult.

"He wants a picture of me. He's being sweet."

"Here I'll take one of you. Hold this pillow over your face so I can caption it 'quit smothering me' please." I can't stop the giggle as she rolls her eyes.

"He cares. But that was funny." I admit.

She leans in once again. "Caylee just remember you don't have to settle for the first serious boyfriend you've ever had. You deserve the fairytale, the bestselling top ten romance story....Can you remember that?"

"Excuse me...you settled for yours."

She grins. "Yeah but I was totally in love with your brother since we were fifteen. And I am in the middle of my fairytale. Promise me you won't settle ok?"

"I promise." I say playfully. I definitely don't want to settle....I want the heart stopping love story. The one where the guy sweeps me off my feet with the little things. I'm just not sure I'm meant to be a character in one of those type of stories.