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1404 Words
I could feel the trail of tears at the corner of my eye when I woke up from that one bad dream.
No. It wasn't a dream. It really happened. My son, Aki, left us six months ago.
To this day I still can't believe my son is gone. He was too young to disappear, so why? Why did he take me right away? To us?
I wiped the tears from my eyes then got up. I forgot what happened to my son first because I will only be sadder when I continue to remember the tragedy that happened to him.
After tidying myself up, I left the room as well. So far, I feel fine. I also got sick for three days. And if it was a dream that Khalid took care of me at night, it was okay. It doesn’t matter if it’s a dream or not. Importantly, I felt her care again even though she was just being forced.
When I got down, I went straight to the dining area. I found Mother Myrna there preparing breakfast.
"Oh, hija!" He approached me and rubbed my forehead, "Are you okay? Are you not in pain anymore?"
I smiled sparingly, "I'm okay, Mom." I said then sat down in front of the table.
Mother Myrna sat down in front of me and looked at me as if examining my face. Afterwards, it sighed.
"If you're okay, why is the expression on your face still dull? You're smiling, but it doesn't reach your eyes," she said and groaned, "Who would be happy if their husband wasn't just a woman? pa! "
My smile faded at what Mother Myrna said. Because of what he said, I was once again reminded of Khalid’s housework with his woman. My heart ached especially when his woman was sleeping in our room with him. And most likely, so I haven't seen them downstairs before is because they're still in our room. Sleeping or worst -
I stopped thinking about that thing because I would only get hurt more and I might cry again with the pain I feel when I keep thinking about that thing.
Along with the loss of Aki, was also the loss of Khalid to me. He didn't leave me like Aki, but it was as if he left me because of what he was doing.
I just blinked when Mother Myrna suddenly stood up, "The best thing is, just eat so you can regain your strength. Forget about your husband, I can't understand you anymore." Mother Myrna helped me. He put the food on the plate in front of me while saying his grievance to Khalid. After that, he sat down in front of me again.
"I had a dream about Aki, 'Nay." I said to stop him from complaining to Khalid.
Yes. It's not right and I know what Khalid is doing is wrong, but I don't want Nanay Myrna to be angry with him like this especially since the two of them were the first to be close to each other. But since Khalid was a woman, I saw Mother Myrna's gradual withdrawal from him.
Meanwhile, Mother Myrna was silent at what I said. He knows that until now, I still can't forget what happened to my son. But who can forget when you lost your only child early on?
I could see that Mother Myrna was about to speak when we heard the voice and giggle of the woman approaching where we were.
Mother Myrna and I looked at the dining room door at the same time. It was as if a knife had pierced my heart again when I saw Khalid with his woman still clasped on his arm.
"Besides, I also want to go to - Oops!"
Queenie's other words were cut short when she looked up at us. And because of that, Khalid also looked at us. Khalid and I immediately met eyes.
I saw no emotion in his eyes. From then on, it was really hard for him to read. There was no emotion in his eyes every time he looked at me then. The emotion in his eyes was full of love and adoration. Gone. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to bring him back to normal. I don’t know if I can even bring that emotion back to his eyes.
I was the one who cut off the two of us. I can't stare at him for that long if I don't see love in his eyes.
I just focused my attention on the food while suppressing my emotions especially when I could see out of the corner of my eyes the two sitting in front of me.
I could feel Khalid's gaze on me even though his woman was talking to him, but I didn't look up because I couldn't see any emotion in his eyes. I remained stooped
"I want to accept the Columbus' offer."
He looked at me seriously. There was a long silence around us. But he also broke it.
"You mean?" To which I immediately replied, "Their offer I join their army. I want you to accept."
He stared at me for a long time. "Are you sure about that decision?"
"Yes brother."
"I can't. Think carefully first," and he turned his back on me with his chair, he made an excuse reading the book to avoid me.
"But I decided on it last night," I said, struggling with him again. "I don't want to think about it again because it's just a waste of time."
Changing my decision is what he wants me to do. I know that but I will still struggle.
He wanted me to get away but I wanted to stay.
"Don't make a hasty decision. You still have a long time, we'll wait."
He always says that but in fact their one -week grace period is over.
"Such a long time is enough for me. I need to defeat any foreigner who wants to take over our country."
"Damn it,"
I heard her sigh in annoyance. He looked at me, a mixture of annoyance and concern I saw in his eyes.
But even before he could utter his words, I was already, "Brother, I know."
"...."
"You don't have to protect me anymore. You know this is destined for me."
"You don't have to tax life just to prove your worth to people!"
"That's not proving my worth."
That's why he was in a good mood earlier. I subconsciously took my phone out from my bag and checked the image Allie sent me last week. Actually, I haven't shown that to Mathieu yet. I just don't know how to tell him ... I'm sure he'll get hurt, and I don't want to see him like that.
Mathieu said goodbye to me that he would pick up his girlfriend when we got out of the car. I quickly went to our classroom to look for Allie.
I saw Allie sleeping on her desk when I entered the room. I woke him up immediately, which I regretted terribly since I saw him still spitting when he faced me.
She wiped her mouth with her hand as if it was nothing before facing me. Her hair was so messy, her eyes were still struggling to open.
"Allie! Wake up! I have to tell you something!"
He slowly frowned because of that. She scratched her head frustratingly after. "The man is sleeping! What is that ?!"
"Don't sleep here in the classroom! You're embarrassing, you're still spitting!" also annoyed that I told him.
He just fixed his hair. "What is that?"
"Mathieu and Charline are together again!"
His forehead became more knit. "Ha? That's really Mat-mat's i***t. He's been fooled, he's still dating?"
"No. They never broke up. I think ..." I said. I saw that Allie was a little confused because of what I said. "Why? Didn't you show him the picture last week?" I shook my head slowly, as if I'm guilty about something. "Not yet ... I just don't know how to tell him, you know? I know he'll get hurt if he founds out ..."
"I don't know about you, sis. You're one too. Just wait ... What time is it?" its variation of conversation.
I looked at my watch. "It's seven-thirty. Why?"
"Come on. I haven't had breakfast yet. Let's eat first."
- Writer
