Lost

Fighting Pain with Pain ☘

My sudden interest in violence worried Sam. Even though she happily took me to the fight club but her eyes kept questioning my sanity. Jack, on the other hand, was still on rest and though he was fine for the daily task but he could not fight in the arena yet.

That doesn't stop him from practicing every day with a fuelled hate for Satan.

And here I was standing watching the fight between Satan and another fighter named Claw. I noticed few things about Jeremy as the fight started and he gave me a smile that scared a part of me but intrigued the other. He always fought with a full sleeves shirt on and I assume that is because of his tattoos and his star reputation that came along.

He was oblivious to the crowd when he fought, he was in his own world with the opponent his sole prey. And I noticed how he got hit, mostly on purpose.

As Claw went down with a well-planted uppercut on his jaw, Jeremy looked deadpanned. He had no ounce of regret or happiness on a win. He just stood there breathing deeply.

And I know why he invited me to the fight, he wanted to show how dangerous he was. But what he did not know that I lived with dangers all my life.

The second round of fight started even before his injuries could be tended to and the opponent called Steel was worse than before. He was bulky, quick on feet and almost as ruthless as Jeremy was but Jeremy was called Satan for a reason as he took the hits well enough to make the other opponent feel like he was winning and then he snaked his armed around Steel's neck and gripped it tighter.

Steel kept jabbing his elbow at Satan but he bore the pain with patience. My stomach recoiled in pain and I bit my lip hard to stop the scream as Jeremy coughed out blood. But his grip on Steel never loosened. Steel was growing short of breath and kind of blue as he eyes bulged out and he gasped for air.

Jeremy looked unperturbed at making a man reach the edge of his life and I should have felt disgusted about this but who was I to judge. I don't know why he was like that and I had a feeling he was not doing this to enjoy.

As Steel forfeited, Jeremy won another fight. He walked back to the locker room disappearing into the darkness of the backdoor.

"I have to go," I said to Sam who held on to my wrist.

"This place is filled with indecent men Reen, where are you going?" She sounded curious.

"I have a work to do." I shrugged at a lame attempt of lying.

She contemplated for a moment with her eyes narrowed at me and then freed my hand.

"I need you back at the factory in half an hour." I nodded not making any promises and literally pushed through the crowd to reach the locker room I got in easily because several times I and Sam came here to pick up a beat up Jack.

"Hey, gorgeous." A man with a graying hairline and yellow teeth sneered at me.

I ignored him and walked faster to the far end of the locker room which was quieter and not filled with fighters for next round.

As expected I found him sitting with his back to the locker, his knees pulled up and hands hung limply over them. His head was hung down and his eyes were closed. Sweats tricked all over his body with the blood from the injury. His mask was gone and he was breathing at least which encouraged me to start talking.

But my voice was stuck in my throat not sure what I should say.

"Are you going to talk in this century Magenta?" He asked suddenly making my heart jump in my throat.

"I thought you are dead," I said in a light tone.

To be frank I was scared now with last time being replayed in my head.

"Almost." The intensity in his word surprised me.

I looked around and thought about what I should do or say in that moment. So I just walked closer to him and sat down on the floor next to him. The locker door creaked as my back touched it and I bit my tongue for destroying the silence around unintentionally.

Finally, he looked up after fifteen minutes of no talking.

"Are you ready to sell your soul now?" He asked not looking at me but at his fingers.

"I was ready that day as well," I answer him quietly.

"Fool." He muttered.

"Says the one bleeding from every part of his body."

And then again we were silent.

Talk, say something, Maureen.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked finally gathering the courage to do so and held my breath as soon as I asked.

"Who said anything was wrong with me?" He almost growled in anger.

"You are a film star so you don't need money and yet here you are beating the s**t out of the people in an illegal fight club."

"Why do you think I fight here?" He asked it with a tone of challenge.

"You are fighting pain with pain," I answered simply because that is what most of us did, the kids on street.

I think I was right because he turned to look at me with a shocked expression.

And that is when I notice the enormity of his injuries. His face was undeniably handsome even after all the cuts and wounds. His nose was bleeding, there was deep cut on his forehead, another on his jaw and chin. His hair was smeared with blood as well.

"Aren't you the big star of the movies?"

When he didn't answer I continued, " With that face, I bet you can be cast in some alien or horror movie."

"Get lost Magenta." He grumbled again turning away from me.

"Why, you called me here?"

"To witness the fight and see what kind of monster I am." He snapped.

I flinched slightly at his tone but tried to remain calm otherwise.

"Jack is fine by the way," I told him I don't even know why.

He remained silent.

"Kids back at hospital adore you, total fans. I tried to make them understand that he is not as good as they think but they cheer whenever you show up on TV." I sat there making conversation, the useless conversation about a hospital, about hot dogs or how I hated roses because they were just like life, beautiful with thorns.

"You know I have never had coffee," I said and realized I made a mistake.

I didn't want him to know that I am a street kid and look at me with the disgusted look every other person gave to us.

"Have you counted stars?" I asked the statue sitting next to me and it was way past my meeting time with Sam.

This time he sighed and got up, opened up his locker and started collecting his stuff. With a number of injuries on his body, I was surprised as to how he was moving. As he slung the duffel bag over his shoulder, he groaned loudly in pain.

"Here, let me help." I offered to take his hand.

"I SAID f*****g GET LOST, DON'T YOU GET IT?" He yelled, my breathing coming to a momentary halt.

He looked downright angry and scary right then but it was his eyes that made me stop as I noticed then brimming with tears. God, I have tackled enough ass-holes, I can handle one more.

I almost snatched the bag from him and started walking ahead not sure what I was doing. I hoped silently that he will follow along to the parking lot and after a few minutes heavy breaths of pain and footsteps followed me.

I slowed down waiting for him to reach his vehicle. As we unlocked the car door I waited for him to sit and opened the other door to get in. I gulped not to think about how stupid this was. I was dying so I was entitled to do something stupid.

"What the hell are you doing?" He was not yelling now instead he was scary calm.

"Sitting."

"Get out of my car." He warned me in his scary calm tone.

"You are badly injured," I stated weakly.

"And?"

"And, I can help."

"Did I ask for help?" He furrowed his brow and his eyes were slits now.

"Um- I-I thought-," I wanted to say that pain in your eyes is crushing me and I sense you are as broken as I am but I did get down.

"Don't think stupid stuff Magenta and get lost, get away from me." He shut the door on my face and drove off.

***

It was one in the night and I was sitting in the charity hospital with a book in my hand. Sam was angry at me for showing up late and Jack seemed concerned but I just lied adding to the pile of my lies. I was here for my night shift since the place was much better than the place where we lived.

My stomach growled with hunger, I felt nauseous and I felt depressed for some reason. Tonight my encounter with Jeremy made me feel uneasy about something.

The list in front of me still lay vacant not a wish added to eat. Silence in the hospital corridors was almost haunting as the chaos in my head. I saw a girl die in here today right after I came in for my shift and I saw her family members crying for her and as much as it was sad it was kind of an unspoken dream.

Tears were trickling down my eyes even before I knew and I leaned back on the colds walls sobbing, letting it all out. My sobs echoed through the halls but there was no one awake now. I ruffled through the pages of a book that were almost falling off trying to get rid of this sinking feeling by reading a few words.

But it didn't help as girl petite frame came into the description and I looked at my hands, burned, scratched, too callous for a girl. My mind went back to the girl who died and a boy next to him who held her hands and kissed the side of her forehead lovingly. I choose to suffer alone and I prefer it that way. I don't want to be a pain for anyone after I am gone and I not a stranger to suffering.

I tried re-reading the book but before I could make past the page, footsteps echoed in the hall. I looked up surprised that someone was awake at two since the place was filled with sick people.

My eyes widened in disbelief as Jeremy walked closer to me and just like I did he sat down on the floor next to me. My mouth agape, I stared at him as he leaned back on the wall. It would have been a surreal dream as a handsome man in an expensive attire sat next to me but what made it a reality was the haunting look in his puffed red eyes.

Maybe he decided he needed my help after all.

☘ ☘ ☘