Loving My Mate

Past Revealed

-DUSTIN POV-

So here I am, raised up on my own door, getting strangled by a crazed wolf.  Typical Sunday morning.

“Dude what the f**k Harris!” I say through a clenched breath. This bastard has a really strong hold on my neck, of course he is an alpha.

“WHERE. IS. SHE?!”  His eyes are pure black, so I know he’s not in his right mind right now.  “WHY ARE YOU HERE IN HER HOUSE?!” 

Ah, so that’s what this about.  I smirk at him, and given my attire, or lack there of, I decide to f**k with him a little bit.  “I live here of course… have for years.”  His anger becomes more present, especially since his hand over my throat becomes impossibly tighter.  Seriously, it’s getting harder to breathe.  “Why do you care anyways?  You rejected her remember?” I strain out my breaths, I’m probably turning purple by now.  “She doesn’t belong to you!”

“SHE IS MINE!”

Just then, the sweetest voice comes down the hallway. “Dustin baby who was at th—Oh! Alpha Harrison! What do we owe the pleasure?” Sally says calmly, as if my life isn’t in the balance right now.  She was in the middle of tying her robe and that flush that I gave her about 3 minutes ago is still there… until we heard the banging on the door…..

Harris loosens my neck and lowers me down, clearly confused.  “Harrison, you remember Sally, right?  She’s my wife now,” I state proudly.  Sally blushes again and I just love her more for it. 

“Wait… what’s going on… where is Brighton?”   

“Oh well she’s just ri—” 

“Sally,” I say sternly.  “Why don’t you get dressed and meet us in the kitchen babe?”  She nods, clearly confused, but heads to our room.  Scrubbing a hand down my face, I really don’t want to talk to the man that broke my best friends’ heart.  Especially after breaking her heart 8 years ago.  “Harris, why are you here?  You rejected her, she’s a mess.  She doesn’t need anymore complications.”

His face still looks angry, but also, confused?  “What the hell are you talking about?  She rejected me!”

What?  “What are YOU talking about?  She wouldn’t do that.”

Gritting his teeth, “She f*****g did and I need to know why.” 

“Harris, I’m telling you now, Brighton wouldn’t have done that.  She’s been looking forward to meeting her mate for years.  She needs him, well you….. What were her exact words?”

He was thinking in his head, showing a clear sign of emotions- anger, confusion, guilt, then clarity.  “She said she accepted my rejection… but I didn’t reject her!  Hell!  I didn’t even say anything to her.  I was walking towards her and she just blurted out she accepted it and ran away!” 

Ugh, I’m gonna kill Brighton.  Shaking my head into my hand, I know I have to be the one to break it to him.  “Come on in, and have a seat Harris.  We have a lot to talk about.”       

Harris looks genuinely confused, and he should be.  He’s been gone for 8 years, and a lot has happened in his absence with Brighton.  We sit down at the kitchen table and before I can jump into the conversation, Harrison speaks up, “Where is Brighton?  Does she still live with her parents?  Where did they move to?”

Sally runs around the corner, pulling up her beautiful red hair into a messy but.  “She’s right out back in her home.”

I give her a stern look because I wasn’t going to tell him out right, but she just gives me one back.  Harris goes to stand up to leave, but I grab his arm.  He has to know what he’s getting in to.  “Sit Harris. You need to know what I’m about to tell you before you go to her.” 

He can see the seriousness on my face and looks at Sally to confirm, then has a seat at the table.

“Tea anyone?” 

“Yes sweetheart.  Thank you.”  Sally moves around beside me, and Harris looks between us.  He sure has changed since he went away, but so did a lot of us.  

“You said wife,” Harris points out, “Not mate.”  Sally stops what she’s doing and looks at me with a small smile, although it’s very grim.  She should never have to look at me like that.  I love her too much to care about it.  I clear out my throat.  “Yes, well, at 18 we discovered we weren’t mates.  It wasn’t a pleasant time for either of us…..  After a while, we knew our mates were not inside our pack.  So… I proposed to Sally and we got married.”  Sally comes and sits on my lap and I wrap my arm around her waist.

“We don’t go to pack events with other packs.  We don’t want to run into our mates,”  she jumps in, trying to explain our love, which shouldn’t have to be explained to anyone.  “We just don’t want to hurt them or each other.  Yes, it’s selfish, but we really are in love- it was unfair to us that we weren’t mates.” Sally is frowning and I put my hand on her cheek, which she nuzzles into.  I know her biggest fear is finding our mates.  Fear of the bond being so strong that we would lose one another for our mate.  I wish she wouldn’t have that fear, because I would never leave her.  She stands to finish making the tea and some sandwiches. 

“Alright Harris, where should I start?” mainly asking myself.

“Tell me what happened after I left, after I hurt her,” he says sadly.  Seeing him now, knowing Brighton is his mate, I know he regrets that night more than anyone.   

“Truthfully, after you left, things went back to normal for the most part.  Her confidence went down for a bit and didn’t want to attend any parties or hang out in groups, but by the end of senior year, she got out of it.  She got good grades and received a lot of scholarships for her art.  She got accepted to an art school on the east coast and was really excited about it.” 

“She actually did it- art school?” Harris perks up, a smile gracing his face.  But this is the part I hate telling.  “Harris.  I don’t know how to say this,” I say grimly.  “For her final project that first year, she held a thesis show.  It was a formal event showcasing future artists and it was a big deal for her.  She was being introduced into the mainstream art world and was so thrilled about it.  Her theme was landscapes from home.  She painted from memory every place she loved to go on the territory, in every season.  She invited all of us to go see it, but only her parents were able to go at that time…..” 

I had to pause because even after all this time, it’s still unreal to me. “Her parents died in a plane crash on their way to visit her showcase.”  Harrison’s face is one that I’ve experienced many, many times.  Disbelief, sadness, pity, anger.  It was heartbreaking, not only for the pack, but everything connected to them. 

“I didn’t know..,” he says softly. 

“I know… your parents didn’t want to inform you since you were at school and didn’t need you to focus on what was going on here at home.”

“I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD!”  His anger radiated in the room.  Anger from not being able to be there for his mate.  Sally got startled and dropped silverware, but picked it up just as fast.

“And what would you have done, huh?  Come back and try to comfort her?  You were strangers at that point!”

 “I am the alpha Dustin! I could have helped her!” 

“No, your father is the alpha Harrison, and he helped her.  You don’t understand the magnitude on how it affected her.  She came home after that a complete mess.  She refused any help from anyone and shut all her friends out!” I yell with watery eyes.  It was the worst couple of years I have ever experienced because Brighton was so broken. 

Sally comes from behind and puts her arms around my chest for comfort and continues for me.  “Harrison, you really don’t want to know how broken she was.  She began to self-destruct.  At first, she would go out partying on neutral lands- drinking anything to get rid of the pain, to forget.  She wouldn’t tell us where she was going or who she was with.  When all of us confronted her about it, it became a huge fight but she finally stopped drinking.   Without alcohol, she began to isolate and starve herself.   She wouldn’t eat for days on end.  She destroyed almost everything in this house because the memories were too much for her to bare.  She would shift for days on end and just run- we found her multiple times throughout the territory in human form, her wolf hiding from exhaustion.  She didn’t even paint or sketch anymore.  It was like that for almost two years.  We didn’t know how to reach her.” 

Harrison doesn’t have words.  Neither did we at the time.  I take a breath before continuing, tracing circles on Sally’s hand on my chest.  “I found Brighton one day at home, so exhausted from crying, running, or having an episode, and I noticed how skinny she got- nothing but skin and bones.  There was just no life to her.  I tried to get her to sit up and eat but she just kept saying she didn’t deserve happiness or comforts.  If I pressed for more, she would scream and rock herself mumbling about not being good enough, or asking for too much.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I went to the pack house and begged your mother and father for help I couldn’t provide.” 

I had a tear running down my face, reliving the past.  I’d never been more scared to lose my best friend.  Harris has watery eyes because he wasn’t there for his mate, even if he didn’t know anything, I know he feels hurt because he couldn’t protect her, even from herself. 

“Your father took charge immediately.  They moved Brighton to the pack house and she stayed at the infirmary for a week to get her nutrients and some weight back on.  The luna sent for a psych evaluation, which gave her the inspiration for the counseling center.  Your mother helped Brighton every day.  Some days were easier than most.  Your dad had to use his alpha authority a few times just to get her to eat.  I know she hated it, but it was for her own good.  After a few months, she was eating without being told or reminded, and one day out of the blue, she asked for a sketchbook.  She began drawing again and she actually started speaking to me like we used to.  When talking about moving back, she said she couldn’t come back to this house.  So, I talked with your father about the barn on the land.  He reconstructed it into an apartment with an art studio.  I couldn’t let anyone else have this house, so Sally and I decided to move in and make it our own.  When we brought her back and she saw the barn, she cried, but this time, it was out of happiness- close to home, but not in a house with so many memories.  At first, she refused to accept it because she felt like she didn’t earn it, but your dad and mom reasoned with her.  Since then, she’s been relearning her passion and trying to live again.” 

We all sit in silence for a few minutes.  Harrison clears his throat, opens his mouth, but then closes it.  It was a lot to unload on him, but he needed to know before charging in on Brighton and accusing her of rejecting him, when in reality, she just had a panic attack and didn’t know how to handle her emotions.

“Can I go see her?” he whispers.  I chuckle a humorless laugh.  “I think you should.  You are her mate after all.  Just a warning though, she might be extremely wasted and passed out—she’ll be out at least til nightfall.”  He nods his head and stands.  I stand up to walk him out.  “Just be gentle with her Harris.  Finding out that you were her mate, and given how y’alls last interaction was like, probably triggered her to say what she did.  She truly wants her mate, even if it’s you.  Once she can analyze the situation with a clear head, I’m sure it’ll be okay.”